Disclaimer: yadda yadda yadda I do not own these people. Except for: Lila
Somewhere, along time ago, in the shire there were two black figures among the riverbank.
"We don't have to do this! We can be evil and STILL have a baby!" A lady's voice desperately cried out,
"No, Lila. This is not the way. Having a child is one thing, but bringing it up in an evil, tall tower, well that's another."
"But Drogo! What will our friends think??"
"Who cares, if they complain then I'll get my army on them! Mua ha ha ha!"
And with that, the tear stained Lila dropped the baby in the river and that night, she and Drogo left the Shire to become evil that is known as...b Sauron!!! /b
(Many millenniums later) The innocent baby had flown into an ice cave and become cryogenically frozen for thousands of years.
"Ooohh! What's this?" A bumbling Bilbo had come across a frozen baby!
"I am Frodo, son of Drogo, and I have come to suck your brains out!!"
"My-my, you have an active imagination, for one so young!"
"NASH! I will kill you all!" Frodo rolled his eyes and reached out with his tiny, frozen hands and punched Bilbo on the chin.
"Ouch! It's time to teach you some manners young lad!"
So Frodo was brought up with this happy man, and soon nearly all the evil Sauron was swept away from him and blossomed into kindly Lila.
-*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Meanwhile in Sauron's a kingdom....
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"Lila, my love, when will you rest! It's nearly mid-day and you still haven't got to sleep!"
"Last day I had a dream! A horrible dream! Our son Frodo was walking along the shire with an old hobbit and...well, Frodo was so kind, and gentle, he reminded me of...me when I was good. When I never used to destroy cities, or kill poor horses and giraffes." Her troubled face looked lovingly out the window, "I miss him! And now that we've been reborn, well, I want him here with us!"
Sauron looked down. He knew that this day would come, if only he hadn't had to make that cursed ring! Then he wouldn't have had to surround himself with evil fools trying to eat the world up! He could have been re-united with his son at last. But Sauron was a very trusty soul, and he had only pretended to take over the world so that he could find Frodo.
But during that time he had made promises to his allies, he had told them that they could have the rings, if they brought him Frodo, alive.
Poor Sauron would have given anything for Frodo. In fact he had! He had died! But now, he was reborn, and due to Lila's dream, he knew what he must do. He must find Frodo, his beloved Son!
Lila tossed her long, black curls. And put her hairy feet up. Due to dwelling in the dark, and among evil caves, she had grown, and was no longer hobbit sized.
"Hey, I know!" Sauron cried all of a sudden,
"What, darling, what is it?"
"I'll get my best friends, Fred, Ted, Ned, Bill, Bob, Peter, Andrew, Harry and Lopolitnes, to search for Frodo, if they don't find him no-one will!"
"What a good idea!" Shrieked Lila, "They're so wrapped up in themselves that they'll do anything for a good price!"
"But where to send them to look for Frodo?"
"Mmmm, we'll need a guide... someone who has strong senses towards evil son's. Now who?"
They thought long and hard, and disused it night and day. Finally they came up with Smeagle, a under ground creature known as Gollum.
On the night before they went to capture Gollum (who had conveniently been seen in the land of Mordor) Drogo thought of something.
"Lila, my honey, what will happen if good, or evil find out why we are searching for Frodo. It is not heard of that the most dreaded evil has a darling little son, and even less heard of that that son is a hobbit."
"My sweet-pea, your right! We shall have to think of a reason, if any should be given! But first let us ask this Gollum news about our son, if he knows any!"
They walked swiftly along their torch-lit passages and into a great hall. The hall held no light, other then the light that crackled on either side from the corridors. In the middle of the room a frightened, greasy creature could be sensed. Nervously cowering in a stone chair.
"Gollum, is it?" Sauron gruffelled out in his most threatening voice,
"Snuckum's don't frighten our guest, he is here of his own free will!"
"Actuallys sss I wass force-ed to sss come heress." The creature hissed out,
"What a peculiar voice you have!" Lila own sweet voice mimicked,
What passed Gollums mind then he decided not to say.
"Anyway, Gollum, we want your help!" Sauron tapped his foot impatiently, being in the presence of such slimy, greasy evil was not his taste.
Gollums ugly face look baffled, what ever he had thought to hear it certainly wasn't this.
"Yes, what do you know of a hobbit called Frodo?"
"Frodo? Smeagle does not sss know of sss Frodo, does hess my precious?"
Lila looked at Sauron confused.
"Do you know of the shire? Of an old hobbit? Anything to do with hobbits?"
"Shess asks of Smeagless, doess sshe not sss, my precious? I knowss of hobbits, I knowss of theifss!! Bilboss the theifss! SSS! Mys birthdays present, my birthday present, my precious!"
"Bilbo? Who is Bilbo?" Lila said. The name seamed to mean something to her. Sauron felt like wise.
"Bilboss iss thiefss! Sstoless he did, sss, stoless smeagless birthdayss present, ssss!"
Sauron had seen others like this, he knew now that Gollum had had the ring that he had once made, and by the sound of it `Bilbo' had it now.
Sauron shook Gollum, "Where is he?" He demanded, Lila laid a gentle had on Sauron's arm.
Gollum rocked backwards and forwards in the gloomy dark.
"he hurtsss uss, he does, my precious, he does, hess not knowss about bag end, he doess not knowss," And although they shock him again and again, they got no more from him.
"Well, that's settelled, then. We'll send your friends to go and find Bilbo and Frodo, and tell everyone else we're looking for the ring. For surely such an old hobbit must soon pass the ring on, and who else but Frodo? Wow, things have worked out well, soon we'll have Frodo hear with us, and peace shall rain on earth. Arrrr, I love happy endings."Lila sighed blissfully.
"um, yes, so do I," But Sauron knew it wouldn't be that simple somehow.
I please R and r if you like, if you no like then r and r and say why you no like. ^_^ when 4 r and r's are there I write more. thank you :) :)
Somewhere, along time ago, in the shire there were two black figures among the riverbank.
"We don't have to do this! We can be evil and STILL have a baby!" A lady's voice desperately cried out,
"No, Lila. This is not the way. Having a child is one thing, but bringing it up in an evil, tall tower, well that's another."
"But Drogo! What will our friends think??"
"Who cares, if they complain then I'll get my army on them! Mua ha ha ha!"
And with that, the tear stained Lila dropped the baby in the river and that night, she and Drogo left the Shire to become evil that is known as...b Sauron!!! /b
(Many millenniums later) The innocent baby had flown into an ice cave and become cryogenically frozen for thousands of years.
"Ooohh! What's this?" A bumbling Bilbo had come across a frozen baby!
"I am Frodo, son of Drogo, and I have come to suck your brains out!!"
"My-my, you have an active imagination, for one so young!"
"NASH! I will kill you all!" Frodo rolled his eyes and reached out with his tiny, frozen hands and punched Bilbo on the chin.
"Ouch! It's time to teach you some manners young lad!"
So Frodo was brought up with this happy man, and soon nearly all the evil Sauron was swept away from him and blossomed into kindly Lila.
-*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Meanwhile in Sauron's a kingdom....
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"Lila, my love, when will you rest! It's nearly mid-day and you still haven't got to sleep!"
"Last day I had a dream! A horrible dream! Our son Frodo was walking along the shire with an old hobbit and...well, Frodo was so kind, and gentle, he reminded me of...me when I was good. When I never used to destroy cities, or kill poor horses and giraffes." Her troubled face looked lovingly out the window, "I miss him! And now that we've been reborn, well, I want him here with us!"
Sauron looked down. He knew that this day would come, if only he hadn't had to make that cursed ring! Then he wouldn't have had to surround himself with evil fools trying to eat the world up! He could have been re-united with his son at last. But Sauron was a very trusty soul, and he had only pretended to take over the world so that he could find Frodo.
But during that time he had made promises to his allies, he had told them that they could have the rings, if they brought him Frodo, alive.
Poor Sauron would have given anything for Frodo. In fact he had! He had died! But now, he was reborn, and due to Lila's dream, he knew what he must do. He must find Frodo, his beloved Son!
Lila tossed her long, black curls. And put her hairy feet up. Due to dwelling in the dark, and among evil caves, she had grown, and was no longer hobbit sized.
"Hey, I know!" Sauron cried all of a sudden,
"What, darling, what is it?"
"I'll get my best friends, Fred, Ted, Ned, Bill, Bob, Peter, Andrew, Harry and Lopolitnes, to search for Frodo, if they don't find him no-one will!"
"What a good idea!" Shrieked Lila, "They're so wrapped up in themselves that they'll do anything for a good price!"
"But where to send them to look for Frodo?"
"Mmmm, we'll need a guide... someone who has strong senses towards evil son's. Now who?"
They thought long and hard, and disused it night and day. Finally they came up with Smeagle, a under ground creature known as Gollum.
On the night before they went to capture Gollum (who had conveniently been seen in the land of Mordor) Drogo thought of something.
"Lila, my honey, what will happen if good, or evil find out why we are searching for Frodo. It is not heard of that the most dreaded evil has a darling little son, and even less heard of that that son is a hobbit."
"My sweet-pea, your right! We shall have to think of a reason, if any should be given! But first let us ask this Gollum news about our son, if he knows any!"
They walked swiftly along their torch-lit passages and into a great hall. The hall held no light, other then the light that crackled on either side from the corridors. In the middle of the room a frightened, greasy creature could be sensed. Nervously cowering in a stone chair.
"Gollum, is it?" Sauron gruffelled out in his most threatening voice,
"Snuckum's don't frighten our guest, he is here of his own free will!"
"Actuallys sss I wass force-ed to sss come heress." The creature hissed out,
"What a peculiar voice you have!" Lila own sweet voice mimicked,
What passed Gollums mind then he decided not to say.
"Anyway, Gollum, we want your help!" Sauron tapped his foot impatiently, being in the presence of such slimy, greasy evil was not his taste.
Gollums ugly face look baffled, what ever he had thought to hear it certainly wasn't this.
"Yes, what do you know of a hobbit called Frodo?"
"Frodo? Smeagle does not sss know of sss Frodo, does hess my precious?"
Lila looked at Sauron confused.
"Do you know of the shire? Of an old hobbit? Anything to do with hobbits?"
"Shess asks of Smeagless, doess sshe not sss, my precious? I knowss of hobbits, I knowss of theifss!! Bilboss the theifss! SSS! Mys birthdays present, my birthday present, my precious!"
"Bilbo? Who is Bilbo?" Lila said. The name seamed to mean something to her. Sauron felt like wise.
"Bilboss iss thiefss! Sstoless he did, sss, stoless smeagless birthdayss present, ssss!"
Sauron had seen others like this, he knew now that Gollum had had the ring that he had once made, and by the sound of it `Bilbo' had it now.
Sauron shook Gollum, "Where is he?" He demanded, Lila laid a gentle had on Sauron's arm.
Gollum rocked backwards and forwards in the gloomy dark.
"he hurtsss uss, he does, my precious, he does, hess not knowss about bag end, he doess not knowss," And although they shock him again and again, they got no more from him.
"Well, that's settelled, then. We'll send your friends to go and find Bilbo and Frodo, and tell everyone else we're looking for the ring. For surely such an old hobbit must soon pass the ring on, and who else but Frodo? Wow, things have worked out well, soon we'll have Frodo hear with us, and peace shall rain on earth. Arrrr, I love happy endings."Lila sighed blissfully.
"um, yes, so do I," But Sauron knew it wouldn't be that simple somehow.
I please R and r if you like, if you no like then r and r and say why you no like. ^_^ when 4 r and r's are there I write more. thank you :) :)