A/N: Do any of you know what I love about Toy Story? It was born the same year I was (1995), it broke the fourth wall for animators everywhere – finally breaking the schism that this new way of making movies was bad and would take jobs from old regular 2D animators. Oh, and it's just the best thing since animated bread (okay, terrible pun, but I couldn't resist). I've also wanted to write the characters as humans, although I don't know why I've never done so before or even written a Toy Story fanfic before now. So now I'm writing them as humans. Enjoy! I've been writing fanfiction for 3 years now so I'm bound to be some good at it, even though this is, in all reality, my first time writing any of the Toy Story characters so they will probably be a bit OOC. Pairings are Woody/Bo and Buzz/Jessie, because they're both virtually canon and I'm an old fashioned fangirl. Once again, enjoy! Woody is a policeman (as this is in modern times and not western times), as is Jessie. I'll figure out what Buzz and Bo do for work as I go along… And Woody and Jessie are siblings, because that's also something that's virtually canon.
Chapter One – Astronaut Escort
Woody Pride rolled over in his state of half-sleep, grumbling lowly at the alarm clock's incessant buzzing and cursing it for ruining his morning. Why couldn't they make quieter alarm clocks? He sighed, supposing it was just because if they were quiet they wouldn't wake you up. "JESSIE, GET A POT ON!" he yelled at the open door, safe in the assumption that his sister would hear him and go make coffee.
"GET IT ON YOURSELF, COWBOY!" she yelled back, thwarting his plans of five more restful minutes in bed. Of course, knowing her, she was already up and out of bed; but then again, knowing her, she did love watching her older brother suffer.
They were both in the same line of work and neither of them had partners or families holding them down, so it was only logical that they shared an apartment. That, and it saved on fuel because they didn't have to use separate cars to get to work.
He made an attempt to shuffle out under the sheets, but the worn muscles and ligaments under his skin cried out in protest, and he instantaneously curled in on himself as a wave of bedsore-induced pain racked his body. He frowned into the pillows, knowing he'd have to get up at some point and willing the tiredness in his body to subside. The aspect of a warm shower and and a hot cup of coffee spurred him on, and he eventually made in out from under his enormous duvet, first putting his feet on the floor tentatively. Hoping to surprise her, he walked down the stairs with a quietness befitting a trained soldier.
He still remembered the beatings Uncle Pete had administered to him when he'd been out of line, and flinched as his body flexed as muscle memory kicked in. The beatings had made him quick and alert, and eventually he knew when to dodge and when to stand his ground. Unfortunately standing his ground usually resulted in more beatings, but that was all in the past and he grimaced as he pushed these memories to the back of his mind. Again.
Reminiscing, he hadn't noticed his sister come up behind him, and as she bellowed a cry of "HOWDY, PARTNER!" he could have sworn he was on attack mode in that split second.
"Jesus, Jess, give a guy a little space!" he yelped, throwing her off him with a force unknown to his stringy frame. He remembered they'd played cowboy games and watched old westerns on the TV when they were younger. It was about the only good part of his childhood. There could have been much more good parts, but it had all been blocked out for the most part.
He looked behind him, seeing Jess's small frame retreating. He hated being so unnecessarily rough with her, but she should've learnt her boundaries by now and knew how on edge he was all the time.
"Aww, Jess…"
"No, forget about it!" she yelled, sticking her hands up in defeat as he watched her walk away, "Let's just get some breakfast and then get to work; you're driving."
The drive to work had been pleasant enough. It was springtime so everything was coming into bloom, and it really was a nice view. He exited the old Ford Focus and went over to the door on the passenger side. Opening the door for her was part of their daily routine, and he was nothing if not a gentleman.
The walk into the station was easy enough, but were instantly bombarded with bequests of their presences as they entered the building.
"Miss Pride, ma'am, you're needed at a NASA research station," Reginald, a young intern, (they just called him Rex) said to Jessie before she could take a breath, "they need a police officer there to supervise the opening of a new facility."
"Thanks, Rex, just hold my calls 'til I get back."
"Yes, miss Pride!" Rex replied, carrying his mountainous mound of paperwork through to his small office.
Woody, meanwhile, was in a similar situation with his secretary, Mrs Petunia Head. She was like a mother to him, although he hated to admit it. "Mr Pride, you're needed at a protest march. They need someone to negotiate with the protesters."
"Thanks, Tunia – and how's Pat?" Patrick Head, Petunia's husband, was like a father to him in much the same way Petunia was like a mother to him. He'd been battling with cancer recently, and although none of them like to acknowledge this fact, they still loved to hear of him – a tumorous lung and a bad knee certainly hadn't dampened his spirits, and he was still full of life as ever.
"Oh, holding up as always. Doctor says if all goes well he'll be in remission by next month."
"Great. Well, I'll be off."
"I don't see why I gotta be here; we police ain't got nothing to do with space travel."
"Just a precaution, miss…?"
"DI Jessica Pride. I assume this new facility will be manned by uniformed spacemen, like yourself?" she fluttered her lashes at the officer before her. She took the time to admire his strong build, imagining that there must be some washboard abs beneath that spacesuit of his. She didn't know why; most woman fantasized about firemen or their favourite actors or singers, but she rather fancied a man in astronautical uniform.
"Ah, yes, miss Pride, in fact I will be inside the facility myself." he stuttered, flabbergasted, "We just need a person of the authorities to be in the room; it's mandatory for such small jobs as these."
Astronautical Engineer Buzz Lightyear had always admired women of the law, but this one cut the cake; he loved her red hair that fell in one big plait down her back, and was sure he would love untying that yellow bow at the end and running his fingers through those silky scarlet locks. He next admired her lips, which had a peachy-pink quality to them that didn't look overdone or slutty, and he next looked at her eyes. Those marvellous green orbs entranced him and wrapped him in their shining embrace which he swore he could never leave. Not once did he think of her beautiful figure, because it was *ahem* unorthodox and undignified to be thinking of the policewoman in such a way. He reminded himself that she was purely here on business, and that he could no attempt to woo her in the workplace for fear of his feelings being misconstrued. He resolved that he'd be able to talk with her more openly once work was over, but jumped the boat anyway, "Miss Pride, would like to…"
"I'd love to." she said, putting on her best beaming smile, and he could've sworn he nearly died and went to heaven.
"7pm, my place?" she seemed heavily offended by this, and so he explained, "I'm sorry, I should explain; I like to cook on a date if I can. Why go to the effort of asking if you're not going to make the effort?"
"You know, most people call me Jessie, or Jess." she was loving this side of him; after Uncle Pete and every other man she'd known, she hadn't thought any man could be that thoughtful.
"I think I'll call you… Jess…" he replied, threading his fingers through her hair. He was wrong; her hair was rather coarse compared to the fine strands he'd once imagined. He imagined it must be a side affect of her work, thinking it must eat up allot of her personal time.
She coughed to wake him out of his thoughts, and he was brought back to reality, "Well, I think you better escort me to this new facility, huh partner?"
"Yes, miss Pri– Jess." he replied, blushing profusely.
A/N: I never imagined I'd be adding more characters to this besides Buzz and Bo, but I'm really getting into this now. I'm so sorry for giving Mr Potato Head cancer! But rest assured, it's only lung cancer, it was diagnosed early and he'll be in remission soon. Shall I introduce the aliens into the story, humanized as Mr and Mrs Head's sons? I think I shall, but maybe not in the next chapter. After I'd characterized Rex as Jessie's intern, I sudden realized "HOLY SHIT WHAT ABOUT BULLSEYE!" and facepalmed. But I love Rex, he was my first choice for the position and he's adorable as a human. If any of you were confronted with the sudden urge to hug him, I know the feeling and know I've done my job.
Also, sorry about making it so Woody was abused when he was little. It seemed so right… what with Stinky Pete being the psycho he was.