Chapter 1
Every single day in their holidays, , they spent their time playing outside. It was the same every summer: they didn't move to the seaside, or mountains, or anything like this. They stayed there, at home. They simply lived in that countryside named Shinganshina, and without a good enough amount of money, they couldn't go anywhere else than…Home.
Every day passing by, the boy had to wake up there. In that small room he had to share with his friend. Actually, he was almost about to call her his sister, he couldn't think of her in another way. A pretty girl, the same age as him or almost, named Mikasa. When they were younger, almost babies, he asked her where her parents were gone and never understood her silence. According to his parents, they were "gone". Ok, gone. And what else?
Mikasa stayed with them since their childhood –and they were still in, no matter how you look at it. Being a 7years old child doesn't mean you're mature. It also doesn't mean you are not, and Eren took it for him : he would make sure to be mature enough. And be able to protect his pretty sister.
Well. That's what he thought as a boy, and as a fighter, always looking for some new fights to show his skills –which was actually were closer to showing his fists and threatening other boys for them not to approach her.
And well.
He couldn't help but always ended fighting with someone, especially another boy from their neighborhood, Jean Kirshtein. That boy was a dork and nothing else, and even his sweet friend –wait, maybe his name was Marco?- couldn't stop them from fighting. Again and again.
But not today.
Today was a special day, and when Eren opened his eyes, it was hard to figure out what was happening. Especially finding a response to the question "why that smell?" as something pretty delicious hit his nostrils.
Today was his mother's birthday.
Today was the day his dad was going to spend all his time in the kitchen, cooking and yelling at himself for not being able to make everything perfect.
Today was the day his mother would allow them to go out without her: she would be busy helping her husband.
Today was going to be a great, sunny and hot day.
The doors and windows were already opened all over the house to let the coolness of the morning enter for the day.
Without taking the time to make his bed –mum was going to do it after all-, Eren rushed out of his room. He rushed downstairs, sounded like some of an elephant in the wood stairs. He jumped over the last stair to avoid it –he hated the last stair because of the sound it did every time he put a feet on it.
And then, after all those warnings, he stopped at the entrance of the lounge. She was there, sitting in the sofa, straight and sweet as she was each passing day. Her auburn hair on her shoulder, eyes half-closed when she was reading the news before putting her glasses on her little nose.
No need to hurry anymore, and Eren walked to her. He knew his smile may have reach each of his ears and he really didn't care. Mom was mom.
"Happy birthday mummy!" he suddenly yelled, trying to catch her by surprise in her back.
When she turned her eyes to him, a light smile was already on her face. Sitting beside her, Mikasa gave him a annoyed look, asking how he could be that noisy in the morning.
"I'm not noisy!"
"You are. But I like it, I don't know how to be noisy. That's cool."
Every time Mikasa said things like that, Eren would turn a light pink and his mother would laugh slightly. And rather than letting her control his reactions, the boy cleared his throat and smiled again.
"Of course I'm cool!"
That was kind of a typical day. Breakfast. Laughing –choking while laughing as he was eating at the same time. Then, a shower. Finally had to make his bed by himself –after all, it was mum's birthday, no way he would let her do that. Dressing up -that tee-shirt and those short trousers. Basket shoes. Just because they looked cool with his today clothes.
It was already being hot outside, and every window was closed for a while, leaving the inside of the house in half darkness.
Light. Sun. Heat. Everything he liked.
The grass was dry even after the cool night. He could roll on it, it wouldn't paint his clothes with some weird green dirt.
In their neighborhood, there was a lot of other houses. They almost all knew each other, and many of the children used to play to the same area, not so far. Thanks to the proximity, his parents allowed them to play alone. They knew the other parents would take a good look on both them.
Once a year –actually at his mother's birthday- Eren went on a "discovery hourney" as he called it himself. That's what he decided the year before actually.
Well, he was alone –Mikasa didn't go out that day for once. And what's more nobody was out to look after him. It was too early in the morning.
Freedom.
The year before, he already went by that street, and the one after. Houses everywhere. But he knew that after that street, there was a small garden where anybody could pass by. So he did. The green grass was highly colorful, and a good amount of flowers where showing off their sweet colors to the view.
Something nice and soft. Or he'd rather say : the place was well maintained by its owners.
"The balloon!"
Eren started. It was a small voice, but a little high pitch. He gave many looks where he could, until he found it. A girl, not really younger than him, at a window. Raising his eyes on her, he couldn't manage a sound at first.
"Can you hear me?"
Caramel-colored eyes. A slightly tanned skin. A dark wavy hair that fell on her narrow shoulders. That tiny snub nose, and right under, that small and pouting mouth.
It was the cutest little girl he had ever seen in his all life –and God knows, seven years were so long to live!
She was pointing something with a finger by the open window, and he raised his eyes to the direction. In a small tree, there was a light blue balloon stuck between the branches. Quite proud of being chosen for this work, he gave a look at the girl.
"It's yours?"
She nodded, putting her lips together in a thin line, like a baby would have done.
"Well, what's my prize if I get it back?"
He couldn't see her body. She looked actually too short to reach the edge of the window with more than here shoulders. Himself he was to small to reach the window itself by the outside. The floor in the inside of the house may be upper that the grass.
At that moment, she blinked at him and looked like she was hesitating. Or just a little. The second after, a large smile enlightened her face and she clapped her hands with some happiness.
"I will tell you a nice story!"
"Not interesting, I'm not a girl!"
Quite offended, she opened her mouth in a large O and clapped her hands on the edge of the window, right in front of her. Almost at the same level as her face. Rather cute. He felt a large amount of pride growing in his chest at the idea of showing her what a great man he was, but couldn't help teasing her a little.
"Pleaaaase," she pouted, pursing up her lips.
The balloon wasn't moving at all. There was no wind so maybe he had a chance to get it. It wasn't very high, and a lot of frames were there to help him climb.
And he couldn't resist with that face of hers.
"Kay, look at me, I'll be your new god! Cheer me up!"
"Yes, sure!"
He could hear her small hands clapping in his back along with her pitchy voice. He wasn't used to such a situation: Mikasa wasn't a girl who needed help even if he managed to make up the situation. She always let him act that way, maybe not to hurt his manliness. Or honor. But at this age, there was no real difference.
The wood kind of hurt his fingers when he started climbing on the tree, but the sounds behind him were actually more encouraging than what he thought at first. He was about to fall, many times. And many times, hearing the small screams in his back, he managed to take his balance back and climb higher.
"That was easy, eh!" he proudly said one his feet were back to the ground, the balloon in his hand, and trying to make his leg stop shaking so hard.
"You're a hero!" she applauded.
She had a crystal laugh, and a bright smile. Then she seemed to think a little and shake her head softly before pointing at him. In her other hand, she was holding tightly the base of the balloon.
"Ah, non you're not!" she finally said.
"Hey, I've got you balloon back!"
"Yeah! ANd it's wonderful! You were flying in the tree like a bird!"
"Then I'm a hero!"
"No, you're a bird!"
Eren blinked a few times, trying to figure out was she was saying. No fucking way!
"No, I'm not!" he pouted. "Birds are for girls! You must be the bird!"
Once again, she shake her head.
"No! I'm a worm!" She replied with strength.
He opened his eyes wide, looking at her face.
"Wha-what?"
It was hard not to giggle at that. She looked sure of herself. The second after, she was watching her rescued balloon.
"You can fly," she explained. "So you're a bird!"
He nodded, waiting for the second –the weirdest- part of her speech.
"Worms live in apples and can't fly! So I'm the worm!"
"I'm sure you can fly," he said with a laugh.
"Na!"
It was a weird and funny story. But she was actually telling it to him as promised. She continued.
"Do you know what happens between birds and worms?"
Eren raised an eyebrow and sit under the window, his gaze raised on her small face. Like that, he could see only her big light brown eyes and the tip of her nose.
"Birds eat worms!" he said.
And God, did he know he was right!
But her eyes fell on him, with that look...The one that means you said something terrible.
"You're awful!" she cried.
"Wait, I…!"
"They fall in love!"
Tanned skin. But blue eyes.
Long hair, but ginger.
A cute smile, but not that tiny snub nose of hers.
In town, you can observe a large amount of people. They all have something similar but they're definitely…Different. In any way. Same nose but different eyes, same ears but different lips, same skin but different hair.
"Hey, what're you looking at?"
Eren blenched when the words reached his ear and gave a look at his friend. The small blonde was sitting by his side, waiting for him to find some way to get through the situation.
"Butts," he answered without even thinking of it.
"Oh god!" Armin sighed. "When will you stop acting like a jerk?"
Eren growled a little, then smiled slightly at his friend. They were both in his small box office, looking for the next job they'll have to do.
Eren Jaegger was going on his twenty-three.
After he graduated from elementary school, he went to some casual primary school in Shiganshina without thinking about his future. Studies and playing with his friends were his daily motivations for many years.
Or rather, he tried to get it as his main motivations.
By the age of seven, he met someone. That little girl, with that dark and wavy hair, those caramel eyes and that small and pouting mouth. He could remember the very first day he saw her, when he had to climb a tree to take her balloon back. He couldn't remember nor the color of the balloon nor the size. He just knew she was there, cheering him up with her cute little voice.
That day, Eren stayed a few hours, sitting under the window where the girl was leaning at (or rather, she was kind of trying, as she was to small for him to see more than her neck). He didn't learn a lot about her. She wasn't even the one to tell him about her name: he just heard her mother calling her, coming in the room at the same time.
Her name was Connie, surnamed 'Con' by her mother. The woman looked a little harsh and nice at the same time, and it was something really weird to feel. Himself he was used to his own mother, who was just an amount of sweetness and love to Mikasa and him.
Connie's mother didn't see him the first times.
Because yeah, he managed to come a few more times at first. Most of the time, he took advantage of how late parents allowed their children to go out and never told his own parents he was going alone. Even if he was getting used to it (actually he was trying to act all by himself and make Connie proud of him), they would never agree with it because of his age. He was too young. Again and again, too young.
He couldn't go to her house as much as he'd have liked and spent the whole summer trying to escape his family's grip. Every sunny days, she was there, probably sitting on the over side of the window. And every time she saw him, she'd been smiling so much.
And he liked that smile.
That cute, that bright smile. She was giving it to him. Nobody else.
Autumn and winter went slowly. When the wind became to cold to open windows all the day long, he still tried to go and see her. With his big winter coat, his wool scarf and thick wool gloves. Through the window, she was there, looking at him when he would come by right after school, leaving Mikasa with some fake reasons.
No words.
Just silly gestures. Smiles. Silent laughs for each other.
She never went out of the house, stuck every day in that room. But she never complained about that fact.
"Why should I stop looking at it?" Eren smiled teasingly at Armin.
Armin sighed slowly before grinning, putting his plastic glass empty of coffee on the desk.
"You really should find a girlfriend rather than looking to, errrr…Every women?
Eren laughed a bit, nodded with a "Yeah, yeah, you're right!" and then took the documents they were looking at. They weren't even seriously looking.
"Oh god," he finally said. "What do you think the boss means by 'children's books'?"
"He means Children's books, I guess."
"Wonderful. Fuck."
By the age of ten, Eren's family moved. Or rather, it was his father, Mikasa and himself.
His mother died in a plane crash the year before. His father, now a wrecked man, couldn't stand living in the same house anymore. Nor in the same city. They moved, far from Shiganshina, heading for another life that would help the poor man to forget and build something new with the two children.
By ten, Eren got a new home, a new city to discover, and new friends.
By ten, Eren lost the cute little girl he still managed to see and never learned new things about her for those two years, as he was pretty sure at that moment that he'd have the time to know about her life, her tastes and every little thing about her.
He was wrong.
He barely knew more than her first name and when he was able to read more easily he tried to understand the (so ugly) handwritten letters on the letterbox. Springer.
Her last name looked like those crackers his father used to buy for some occasions, when grandma and grandpa were coming for dinner. He liked Springles a lot.
"Children's books are easy to read and understand," Armin replied.
"They're stupid, just for kids to learn how to read," Eren sighed. "How boring!"
Armin didn't answer at first, but finally reached for the last magazine about literature. Their magazine, the one they were working for : The Daily Reader.
The only thing Eren really knew about Connie Springer was that she loved stories. Telling stories, creating stories, writing stories. She always had new stories to tell him. That's everything she did when they were together. She was leaning at the window. He was on the ground, sitting under the window, against the wall.
In his new city, the big Trost, Eren wrote to her. A lot.
She answered. A lot.
Long childish letters, were he told her how was his new life and were she narrated cute stories she was still imagining. The yellow bees. The white dogs. The blue butterflies. The brown trees. The green grass. The sky wasn't blue. It was a shade of azure. A colorful world she was looking through that little window.
Reality came shortly, hitting him. At the end of his first year in Trost, she stopped answering. She stopped writing back to him. And he was left alone, writing to her knowing he would never get a response to his letters, and still telling her the small details of his Trost life.
By the end of the year, his own letters came back in his letterbox. She had moved without a word.
By twenty, Eren decided to take that way. Writing. That wasn't as if he would find her back by working in something she just liked a lot. No, it wasn't it at all. He just didn't know what to do else. He could be some critic, work for a magazine, read her books, make some wonderful articles about her stories, make her happy.
But there again, reality was showing him what was life made of: her name never showed up in any books when he was looking for the new writers and their newly published books.
Her name never came.
He even thought she used a nickname or something to hide herself.
But maybe she just gave up on stories the day she grew up.
"But why did the boss asked me to work on such a subjet?" Eren grumbled.
"I remember the part where he—"
They started together when two hands appeared on both their shoulders. The long and fine fingers pinched them without taking care for the pain and the quite nasal voice came out. Bored as usual.
"I told you, brat. Your articles are ignominious; nobody wants you to write about their books."
"That…That's not true!" Eren exclaimed, turning to the man. His boss.
"Arlet!"
The voice came out loudly and Eren's shoulder became more painful.
"Y-Yes boss?"
"Remind him the last article."
Armin swallowed. Everyone in the small magazine building remembered the last incident Eren came in with just his last article.
"W-well, Eren, " he hesitated.
The young man opened his mouth under the dark gaze of his superior. The man was so much smaller than him, even than Armin, that it was always weird to see that kind of situation.
Eren shook is head. "I'm not stupid, I remember Ymir's punch in my face!"
"Great. And Hoover's one too? The article before."
It was Eren's turn to swallow hardly. "I-I remember…"
"And the others before?"
"I…"
The pain in his shoulder was awfully increasing.
"I'm sorry boss! I'm sorry!"
A sigh. "Don't be just sorry, brat. Do something with that mouth of yours."
"I-I-I can do it better, I swear I can!"
By the age of twenty-two, Eren managed to be hired in the Daily Reader and wrote articles about writers works. His feelings about it, what he thought about their stories, how it turned out in his mind.
He fucked up most of the time.
A small slap at the back of his head awoke him and he heard the man mumbling behind him. "That's not that you're bad at writing, you're pretty good at it. But you're such a big shit when you have to put it into words."
A small hope came trhough Eren, and he turned his face to the small man. From so close, the man looked just a bit less younger than he usually did. It was still impossible to figure his age, even knowing all his experiences in life and jobs.
"B-boss…!"
Hope-hope-hope-hope. He didn't want to read and write about stupid children stories. He didn't care about it. It was boring as hell.
"Find a book. There are some new authors who gave it a try lately."
"It, boss?"
"Children."
Fuck it.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fu—
Armin turned a few pages of their own magazine, looking for the part they didn't work on. New authors. And, actually the page dedicated to children's book.
"There you go, Eren," his colleague said with a small smile.
The young man pouted a little. Well. He had no choice, he thought taking the magazine. Many names were written. Titles with their writer.
How to read my life, by Wagner T.
I like my dog, by Mina C.
The bird and the worm, by Springer C.
The day I walk across the street, by…
Eren started.
Looked twice.
Swallowed.
Oh god.
Reality was gone. Childhood was back.
The bird and the worm.
By Springer C.
"Oh my fucking god… !" was all Eren managed to say properly for the whole day after he read both the name of the new children books and Connie's beside them. It wasn't real, it wasn't.
But his colleague, Armin, had to read it again, clear and loud, to him. He rubbed his face a dozen with his palms, sighing, inspiring deeply.
It was real.
It was.
"Oh fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fu—"
"Stop saying 'fuck' Eren," Armin mumbled before tossing the paper to the brown-haired man. "That's not pro… Plus! What's going on with those damn books? Last time you were all down with the idea of working on that type of books and today…Oh god! Eren, what's all that about? You—"
Even if Eren was trying to be quiet, something suddenly cut Armin in his sentence. The big sound of a box (not only big, it was pretty heavy) filled the air and they all turned their attention to the origin. Everybody was in his own box office. They could hear the discreet sound of the tip toping from their two bosses' office, the only one that was separated from the big room where they were all set in open boxes.
In the middle of the room was a large and circular table, where they often met to talk and exchange together instead of yelling at each other from box to box.
Here it was.
"New arrival, guys!"
Eren felt a shudder of disgust vibrating along his spine when he put a name on the voice. He immediately put his head into his shoulders, mumbling unintelligently. Armin blinked a few times watching him, and then he finally understood: a big paper box had been placed on the table, and the young man who did it was just…
Jean Kirshtein.
"Jesus, Eren," he sighed. "what's with that face, everytime you hear or see that guy?"
"He's stupid!" Eren hissed.
"You know he's not. You hate him that much?"
"No, I…! Oh fuck, I DO !"
Leaning on his chair, Armin laughed gently at Eren's face. His cheeks were getting a nice shade of dark red, not the kind of red he would see on a man-in-love-with-a-man but something more like rivalry.
"I still don't get it anyway, you just got hired last year but he was already a member of the team…I remember you disliked him before even seeing him, by the way!"
"I told you, Armin, we know each other from Shinganshina!"
"Ah, hum, maybe…?"
Eren rolled his eyes. Well, that wasn't as if he explained it several times to the blond man. But it was, and here he was again, dealing with the guy's bad memory. He clearly remembered Jean from the time he lived in Shinganshina, even if the blond wasn't from the small country city. Jean was coming by summers only, just here to follow his family taking a break at his grandmother's house. He was there for only two months and it was enough: Eren couldn't stand that boy, his manners, his way of talking. Jean was a dork.
Years after he moved in Trost, Eren didn't hear of Jean. More than anything, he forgot his existence and lived without thinking about it. But there again was the magic of life and reality.
Jean worked at the exact place he asked for a job and got hired.
He was fucking (un)lucky.
Armin shrugged a little before standing up from his chair. "Well, you don't like him but at least don't let your feelings ruin your work!"
Around the table, they were already sitting, waiting for getting their new work. The new arrival was a huge pack of new books they've been ordering, according to what they decided.
" 'Kay guys," Jean said while he was taking the first books he could reach in the large box. "Horror section, here!"
Two people stood up and as for every distribution, Eren raised a eyebrow, trying to figure out the reason why this section was only counting on those two women. The shorter was wearing small glasses, a bit hidden behind her white hair (he couldn't see if it was dyed or anything, or if it was natural as she looked so young), and glanced harshly at Jean when she took the book she asked for. The other one was incredibly sweet. Or rather, she looked like so younger and sweet that he really couldn't understand how she was able to read that type of books. With her hair separated in two masses, she was definitely not that type.
He always thought the two of them were quite weird, reading and enjoying such reading. ESPECIALLY WITH THAT FUCKING BIG SMILE !
"Well, next…Love section, c'mere…" Jean called.
Armin didn't sit for long and Eren gave him a long look as he was walking toward Jean to take his books. Several books actually. Well, everybody already knew it : Armin was pretty clever. Too much, in fact. So, the direction had a deal with him, allowing him to work more than the others. Yeah, they did ALLOW him. Armin had that need to work a lot, more and more, to use his brain until he forget everything around him. That might have been the reason everybody had to sometimes recall him about small things.
"One, two, three…Well, here's the eighth, Armin!"
Jean let out a smile when he put the last book in the man's arms, trying to help him equilibrate the pile of books. "Gonna be ok?" he laughed slightly. Armin nodded with a soft smile, visibly already thinking of the way he'd take care of all that work. Then he came back to his seat next to Eren, still with that smile not leaving his face.
"Uh, you…You're ok with reading and writing about all those books for next month?" Eren asked him in a low voice.
Armin glanced at him with some surprise. "Next month? I'll be done in two weeks. Maybe next one if I'm bored."
Eren squeaked a bit at the answer, not sure of how he should take it. He himself was always so slow at reading, taking his time and trying to think about everything he could take from the book.
"You're amazing…" he muttered.
Armin blushed at it, turning his eyes to the books while Jean was still calling for the various sections waiting for their orders.
"I-I'm not, really…!"
"You bet, you are! You're the only one able to work with such a deadline, here!"
Armin shook his head, blushing more and more until he turned in a deep shade of red.
"Th-that's not right," he said. "Our boss is better than me…"
"You mean Mr. Smith?"
"No, boss Levi!"
"Whaaaaa-"
"Children section!" Jean called.
The man may have been calling several times: his voice went out louder than usual and he looked quite annoyed. More than usual.
Mumbling to himself, Eren stood up and headed to Jean, reaching out a hand to get his books. But Jean didn't go this way, giving a look to the two books he had in hands and raised an eyebrow at Eren.
"Children books?" he asked before grinning. "I didn't know you were that type of reader! Detective novels were that difficult for you?"
"Shut up Kirshtein!"
Jean sneered a bit but suddenly stopped when he saw the cover of the second book. "Wait, you're reading Springer's?"
Without knowing why, Eren felt his cheeks turn red, becoming quite hot until his ears. "Tha-that's none of your business!"
With another smile, Jean shrugged calmly. "Relax man. Not your fault if you never heard about those books. We all know you're limited."
Eren's view started to get red.
But before he could even think about hitting Jean, two hands had already caught him by the arms to immobilize him. There wasn't any noise anymore. Eren couldn't move, stopped by some incredible strength. Nobody was talking anymore. And every pair of eyes were focusing on him. Or rather on the person behind him.
Actually he knew who.
But the voice that came just confirmed his thoughts.
"Hey, aren't you done yet, Kirshtein? We're not paying you to play around with your brat friends. "
"L-Levi! I'm sorry, I-I was just s-surprised by his choice…"
Somehow, the mas in his back managed to make Eren sit on the closest chair without even asking him for his opinion. Feeling the squeeze on his poor arms made his sudden anger go away and he rubbed his painful skin, tightening his lips firmly.
"I decided for him to change his type of reading, " Levi continued before crossing his arms on his chest. "You have something to say?"
"Oh, yeah, I see, I see, well, it-it might be better like that!"
"Go ahead brat, you have a lot of work!"
"Yes sir!"
On the table, Jean had put the two books ordered for Eren. The first one… Well, Eren didn't really care. It was some usual children book, entitled "I'm home" and it wasn't really interesting to him. It was for children, right. He didn't like that type of books.
But the other one was different. The first cover was quite simple: the title "The bird and the worm", and right under it, the name of the author "Connie Springer" were written. A big title in black round letters. The 'o' of 'worm' was made with a small worm smiling to the reader. 'Connie Springer' was written so tightly, so small.
Right under, it was just an apple. Something rather simple.
A red apple.
He could remember her, smiling and pointing to the apple tree in the small and beautiful garden. "I want an apple!" she would say.
She liked apples. Because to her, apples were the link between birds and worms. Some common house. Common food.
She liked the flavor, when the fruit was sweet and still quite hot because of the heat of the sun.
She liked red apples.
On the cover, there was a red apple. A big one, with a small hole on top of it, and he already knew it was the worm's house. The one making the 'o' above the apple.
He recognized it.
This drawing.
It was hers. When he came and visited her, she had drawn a lot about this story. Her favorite.
It was her. She was still somewhere. She was still herself, still the same as before. He turned the pages a little, sniffed a bit while he gave a look at the illustrations. Every page had one.
A hand touched his shoulder and he shuddered, raising his gaze to the black-haired man who was still standing next to him. "Hey, don't cry brat. I already told you it wasn't a suspension!"
"I'm not crying!"
A sigh.
"You are. Wipe your eyes off."
Fuck.
The coffe was kind of crowded. Sometimes a cigarette fragrance would come from the outside, with the tinker bell ringing furiously. Once more. Eren sighed a little, lowing his eyes down to the book on the table. What should be 'Connie's children book' actually. Thoughtful, heopened the first page. He had done this move so many times in the whole week that he wasn't sure anymore of what je really wanted to check in it each time he was opening it again. Again and a gain.
Drawings. By a child. He knew those drawings. He saw them when he was a child. When she showed him every step of the cute story she'd created. On the first page, a cute and small worm wassliding on the ground, fighting against the grass. Something so high and so hard for such a little creature. And every time he remembered about her serious face when she explained the adventures of the poor worm lost in the grass, he couldn't help but smile. The worm was looking for something. It was raining like hell, Connie had drawn those blue lines to illustrate it. So the worm was looking for a house. Some comfortable place to stay and live at.
And the worm found a tree, climbing on it and found an apple. A gorgeous one, so sweet and juicy. It became soon a cute house, in the apple itself. Connie had drawn something like a warm glow, and Eren remembered pretty well how he made fun of her and those yellow and orange lines running all over the small apartment looks that was in the apple. She wanted it to feel like 'home'. Eren smiled at the small curved line she had put to make the worm smile. "The worm is happy!" She'd said.
He sighed, turning the pages. The rain was over. The worm was still living in the apple. And from a small window ("Oh god Connie, a window in an apple?" "He wants to see te outside!") he could see a bird. A little one actually but it was bigger than the worm from so far! And the bird was flying, jumping from a branch to another, eating from an apple to another in this apple tree. Or at least that was what was written: he barely managed to see a bird in that drawing and it made him laugh the first time he looked at it. She had pouted. Again. As usual. And it was cute.
"Hey, Eren! Sorry for making you wait so long, I needed to finish some things!"
The young manstarted a little as he was staring at the multitude of red colored hearts flying all around the worm's head (could he even call that a 'head'? It was just a fucking worm!) and gave a light smile at Armin who just entered in the coffee.
"No problem," he said, "are you done with your work?"
Armin almost let himself fell on the high stool, sighing deeply. "I swear I am!" he laughed softly. "One more to go and I've finished."
He softly sighed, ordering some cappuccino as a server was already waiting for his order, then smiled back to Eren.
"But tell me," he added, "what was that sms about? I mean, you looked so happy to work on that book…"
The scowl on Eren's face came back and Armin immediately frowned at it. "What's the matter?" He looked down, and only at that moment he noticed the book, opened wide on the small circle table. "Want to show me?" Eren shook his head slowly before he turned another page again.
"I don't know," he murmured. "There's something…Well, I thought I'd found Connie, That's true, but you know…What if it wasn't it at all?"
A new sigh. Eren raised an eyebrow and looked up at Armin who was eyeing the draw of the bird standing in front of the small apple-window (or whatever it could be).
"You've been talking about 'Connie' for so long," Armin began. "And now that you have something to follow, I mean maybe it's a track to keep, you're giving up on it right away?"
"BUT! That…Well, that's not something Connie would have written and…"
Armin gave a small smack on the table, scaring a little the server who was already back with his drink. After some sweet apologies, Armin came back to Eren, with a deepscowl.
"Ok," he said before pointing the book with his finger. "So this isn't Connie's? that's what you were saying in your message by 'that fucking can't be her book'?"
Eren hesitated a little. "W-well…That's weird actually…"
"What?"
"These are her drawings, no doubts about it…" Eren mumbled, turning another page.
On this one, the worm was trying to make wings in his living room, getting sad not to be able to fly. And oh god, a crying worm? Somehow it felt sad. Really sad, and he couldn't point out the real reason. He'd never seen that drawing before.
"But there's one thing that is not 'her'…"
"Tell me?"
Eren looked a bit confused, lost, Armin could say. It was obvious that he wanted to see his 'Connie' in this book but the fear that he could be wrong or discover something different than his old memories was strong. Armin could understand: life was made of times like this. For a moment, the brown-haired man kept silent and he waited patiently for Eren to think before talking. Ah, his cappuccino was being a little cold already. He didn't like it a lot. Warm drinks were the best when the weather was that cold outside.
Eren's fingers touched the corner of a page, about to turn it. On this one, the worm was facing the bird, smiling with all his heart, his poor paper wings on his back, one of them already almost falling.
"When she was telling me this story, it was all made of…Fun, and happiness," he began with a small voice. "I liked teasing her with her drawings and all those little things…"
Armin gave a look at Eren then went back to his mug, listening to him. "But?"
Eren pursed his lips a little, in a pouting face, like a child. "I told you, I don't know…When I've read it the first time, I was looking for the story I've heard from her when we were kids…"
"It wasn't?"
"The topic is the same, the story looks alike…" Eren shrugged softly. "But the story is…Different…It should be something cute, I really enjoyed it when she was narrating it…However it's…Well, I feel weird, sad even, when I read it…And I'm not even talking about the end…"
Armin left his mug again, raising an eyebrow with curiosity. "The end?"
Eren nodded. "Well, what do you think about a bird and a worm?"
Armin blinked a few times at the question, trying to figure out what the guy had in mind. But he finally smiled, shaking his head. "I've already read that book, Eren," he said. "I know what happens."
"So…"
Eren turned the last page in a slow movement, tightening his lips in a thin line. He hated that drawing. The red on the white paper. The flesh on the ground, or something that looked like that. Small pinkish parts of the worm's body.
The bird ate the worm.
"So tell me, Armin," he murmured. "Tell me why the bird didn't fall in love with the worm…?"
Something went wrong on that book. The last page was different from the others. The drawing was, too. He was able to see the difference in a child's drawing, and a teen or adult's. This last one wasn't a child's.
Maybe an adult.
And somehow, Eren felt pretty bad. It was like something had happened in all those years, something hard enough to change the personality he'd known years ago. Something bad enough to change that love story.
"Why are you talking about love?" he suddenly heard. "Connie had to deal with a lot of things since childhood. I just think it's an interpretation of how life has been 'til now…"
This time, Eren stared at Armin, trying to understand. He didn't really know how to take his words, and hesitated quite a lot before asking. "What…Uh, what do you mean, Armin…?"
"Well."
Armin tried to drink his cappuccino before continuing. It was cold. Definitely. And he winced a little.
"Actually, I know the Connie Springer who wrote that book…"
A blank in Eren's head. 'WHAT THE FUCK!?' was the only thing that came across his mind as his eyes were opening big and wide.
"B-b-b-b-but…"
"It's hi-"
Armin suddenly coughed a little, then: "It's her birthday today, we're celebrating it tonight."
Which day were they? Feeling his heart suddenly racing in his chest, Eren gave a look at his cellphone to check the date of the day, and felt a shiver running slowly along his spine.
Ok.
Calm down.
It was also the same day as her birthday. The Connie that Eren knew.
"O-okay…," he managed to say.
"You're ok? You look weird."
Eren nodded. In just a sentence, Armin had made a mess of him and his mind. How comes that guy knew Connie? Was he even serious about it? But Armin wasn't the type of person who makes fun of others. It was rather the reverse. Armin looked quite natural while talking about it. Maybe he couldn't understand the importance of all that for his colleague? Probably.
"I'm ok, I think…" he finally mumbled.
Armin pushed a little his mug to Eren. He wasn't going to drink it, after all, so Eren took the cappuccino. There wasn't as much coffee as he was used to drink, and there was too much sugar but well, it wasn't that bad.
Armin chuckled a little. "You should see your face! You're scared?"
All of a sudden, Eren felt his face growing red. A deep red.
"I'm not! I'm a grown man!"
"But well, if I understand everything now…"
Eren swallowed, before taking a drink.
"Connie was your first love!"
Surprised like hell, Eren spitted the drink on the floor, trying to avoid the book as much as possible. "What the fuck are you saying, you dumbass!?"
The laugh that answered him was quite relaxing. At that moment only, the young man noticed how tensed up he was. Why? Really, why was he taking all that so seriously?
Connie was just a little girl he met when they were children, right?
She'd just been the reason for his main actions in life, nothing more, right?
And she was just the one who wrote that book.
Right?
"But…Wait a second…," Eren suddenly realized. "Sh-she's living here? In Trost, I mean?"
Armin nodded softly, checking a few seconds for his messages on his cellphone.
"Yeah, he—she'd moved here some years ago. Long time, actually," Armin mumbled, kind of inconsiderate as he was typing a reply to someone.
"I didn't know…"
"You're pale. If you don't want to come, you don't have to…"
"NO!"
Armin started at the loud tone, as for some customers around them, surprised by Eren. Himself was wondering what had happened, and tried to act as if nothing had happened.
"I-I mean, I'd really like to come and…And meet her…"
"Ok then. I just have to warn you before."
Eren frowned. "Eh, you didn't say there would be conditions!"
"Not that. Just, don't act like a dick. Berthold and some others will be there tonight."
"Wha—"
"Old friends."
"How comes!?"
"Same high school and college."
"Oh damn it, Armin, stop with those sms and make complete sentences!"
The blond man laughed a little, putting his phone on the table. "Usually you don't really care about that. I guess that's something important to you, then?"
"That isn't—"
"You're already a dick, just admit you want to see her so bad."
"I think I hate you."
"Great! Well, there will be tons of people you don't know. I was messaging the one preparing the party to say there would be someone else with me."
Eren blushed a little. Was it that terrible to have another person if they were that numerous?
"Is it that bad?"
"Na, just…Some of them are not at ease with strangers."
"I…I see…"
"You regret you decision? Going back home tonight?"
Eren gave Armin a sudden dark glare. What was his fucking problem?
"NO! I'M COMING!"