So lifeless.
So unlike himself.
No smart comment.
No trace of the guy that she knew and had come to fall in love with.
If she wouldn't have stalled…
If she wouldn't have froze up…
If her fear wouldn't have gotten the best of her…
If it wasn't for her, he could be giving her that mischievous smirk full of mirth and cracking those terrible jokes right now. She wiped her wet, bloodshot eyes and ran a hand through her red hair, soon bringing her hand back down to join the other in shielding her face from the bloody and battered man before her.
She could remember it in terrifying clarity. Every horrifying detail. The gun pointed at her, ready to shoot. The huge, toothy smile and the horrendous laugh. Her body frozen in fear as she stared at the firearm. The sight of him fighting at the edge of the building. The fall of thirty stories. The desperate cry of her name as she sprang into action one moment too late. The gory crunch she heard when his body hit the cement.
And it was all her fault.
She shouldn't have accused him of being the problem in their relationship. She worried too much about what would happen if they were discovered by Batman. He would surely tear them apart. They were Batgirl and Nightwing, Barbara and Dick. Teammates and nothing more. Or at least shouldn't be anything more.
The fact was that they were something more. And another fact was that she was always too worried about what others would think.
The fact and truth was that Barbara was the problem in their relationship.
Barbara looked up at the clock on the wall of the infirmary in the Batcave. Five-thirty in the morning. Six hours and twenty-five minutes of this unbearable torture. Why couldn't this coma end?
She averted her eyes from the time and instead turned her gaze toward the heart monitor. Perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her, but it almost seemed as if it was growing slower and slower with each beat. She rested her head against the edge of the bed and reached up to grasp Dick's hand.
Eventually, Barbara somehow managed to slip into an unrestful slumber.
She was plagued by dreams of the accident that she could've prevented. Each time she dreamed, she watched images of his unconscious body on the ground.
Barbara suddenly jolted awake when a hand landed on her shoulder. She looked up to see the kind, compassionate eyes of Diana Prince, the Wonder Woman, looking down on her. Barbara quickly looked down at the ground, avoiding those eyes that simply made her feel more guilty. She didn't deserve Diana's pity and understanding. Diana looked at Barbara as if she was the innocent one here. Truly she had caused him to fall. She felt sure that their disagreement beforehand had him distracted.
"Hey… Do you mind if I sit down?" Diana asked, removing her hand from Barbara's shoulder. Barbara shook her head and after a moment she glanced at Diana to see that she had crossed her legs and was levitating in midair.
There was an awkward silence between them. Diana placed her hand on Barbara's shoulder again.
"Are you okay?" Diana questioned, her voice gentle. Barbara shook her head solemnly.
"No, Di, I'm nowhere close to okay. This was my fault. All my fault," Barbara choked out, holding back more tears that threatened to fall. Diana floated closer and put her arm around Barbara.
"How's that? Don't go turning into Bruce on me now. You know blaming himself for everything," Diana said with an eyebrow raised and a smile. Barbara let out a small, heartless chuckle. "All jokes aside, how is this accident your fault?" Barbara felt a tear run down her face but she wiped it away.
"We had a fight before we went on patrol and… I think that it distracted Dick so much from the battle with Joker's thugs that one scored a lucky hit and knocked him off. Dick couldn't have saved himself from the fall because Dick gave his grapnel gun to Tim since he left his at the cave," Barbara said releasing a sob that caused a tremor throughout her entire body.
"That's not necessarily your fault," Diana said with her naturally motherly voice.
"I've been sitting here for an excess of six hours thinking of nothing but all the reasons that this is my fault. Could you clue me in on what I'm missing?" Barbara asks, her voice cracking mid-sentence. She felt Diana's gaze resting on her.
"Barbara, you can't control what others think and when they think it. I've learned that lesson quite well. Hera knows the amount of time I spent trying to get Bruce to fall in love with me. But you can only sway a person's thinking a certain amount before you've done all you've can. I couldn't and still can't control what Bruce is thinking even though I can sway it fairly well now that we're together," Diana said with a chuckle. Barbara allowed a small smile on her face.
"Now listen," Diana asserted gently, wiping a tear from Barbara's face. "Don't blame yourself for Dick's brain. He can be really smart sometimes and even ignore his emotions like Bruce, but no one is perfect." Barbara shook her head. "And if they are perfect then they make perfect mistakes.
"Except he didn't make a mistake this time. I did," she said sadly. "I worry too much about getting in trouble with Bruce for dating someone so close to the team." Diana furrowed her brows at Barbara.
"You know… I might be able to use some of my magical swaying powers to push Bruce's thinking in the right direction so that you won't have to worry about that anymore." Barbara laughed quietly and Diana hugged her. "It'll be alright." Barbara wrapped her arms around Diana. Sometimes Diana could be so great. She was like the mother that Barbara never had. Barbara supposed that being five-thousand years old would make one quite wise.
"Thank you, Diana," Barbara said, feeling the tears welling back up. Diana pulled away and put her hand on Barbara's cheek.
"There's no need to thank me. You needed me and I am glad to assist in any way possible," Diana said, smiling kindly. "If you ever need me, just let me know and I'll be here for you. Okay?" Barbara looked down at the ground and nodded.
"Alright. Now what is that 'Man's World' phrase? Um… Oh, I remember! I've got to pick a bone with Bruce," Diana announced proudly and flew off to another part of the Batcave. Barbara couldn't resist the snort that followed at the thought of Diana's misuse of sayings. She'd have to remind Diana that it was "a bone to pick" instead of "got to pick a bone."
Barbara's happiness was short-lived, however, because when she lifted her gaze from the floor to the hospital bed, she was reminded of the whole reason that Diana was there. She rested her forehead against the edge of the bed.
It was then that she remembered something that she had read online about people in comas. They could hear everything that went on around them. Barbara raised her head up and studied Dick's face. It was worth a try. She took his hand and took in a breath.
"Hey, Dick… How are you? Gee, whizz, I really hope that you can hear me and I'm not talking to myself here. Tim would pick on me for weeks. Of course, you probably would get a kick out of that, wouldn't you?" Barbara asked, while searching his face for even the slightest of smiles. Not even a tiny quirk of the lips. She sighed sadly.
"I need to tell you something. I suppose if you're hearing me now, you probably heard it earlier when I told Diana." Barbara took a deep breath, preparing for what she would say next.
"I'm sorry, Dick, for blaming you for everything that I have wrong inside of me. This is all my fault. While Diana has a point about me not being able to control your thoughts, I shouldn't have put those thoughts there in the first place. I'm the problem, not you. You never are a problem. It's always me. If-when… When you wake up, I hope you can forgive me for all of these things that I've done wrong. I mean, you can even call me Bat-Eyed Babs for all I care. And you know how much I hate that.
"I just want you back, Dick. I need you. I'm not one to be poetic but you're like the air, the force that keeps me alive and going. No, I don't want you back. I need you back," Barbara said, tears streaming down her face. "Please, come back to me," she sobbed and buried her face into the sheets beside his hand.
She lied there and cried for a few moments until she felt something in her hair. She sniffed and looked up. To Barbara's surprise her eyes were met with sparkling blue orbs. She sat up slowly, eyes never leaving the other set. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a hand fall down onto the bed. Barbara stared in shock.
"Well, are you gonna sit there and gawk or are you gonna- oomph!" Barbara sealed her lips against his in a hot, passion-filled kiss. She felt his hand reach up to comb itself through her hair. She smiled against his lips and pulled away slowly to give him a huge grin. After a few moments of silence, Dick finally spoke up.
"Whoo… If that's what I get every time I nearly die, I might need to do it more often!" he wheezed. Barbara smacked the back of his head lightly so she wouldn't hurt him.
"Don't say that, idiot. I'm so glad you're okay," she said, allowing more tears to run down her face. She wrapped an arm around him gently so she wouldn't hurt or mess up the series of injuries and bandages on his right side.
"Hey, it's fine, I'm fine, everything's good," he whispered gently. Barbara hiccupped and nodded.
They shared a few moments of blissful silence until Dick spoke up.
"By the way, I forgive you," Dick said, smiling. She looked up and met his eyes.
"You heard me?" Barbara questioned, bemused.
"Of course I did. I've been awake since you and Diana started talking. I just figured I'd hear what all you guys had to say about me," Dick said, smirking. Barbara shot up in her chair.
"YOU WHAT! You have been awake this whole freakin' time and never bothered to tell me?!" Barbara yelled and Dick shrunk under her angrily scrutinizing gaze.
"Well, I was weak…"
"To weak to talk?" Barbara pressed.
"Well… Maybe not…" She glared at him. "But don't think I wasn't suffering while hearing you cry," Dick said quickly, trying to lessen Barbara's wrath. Barbara suddenly smiled and kissed him. Once she had pulled back, he licked his lips and furrowed his brows.
"So, umm… Am I not in trouble anymore?" Dick asked. A chuckle was heard from Barbara's spot on the left side of his chest.
"Oh, you're still very much in trouble. But I figured I'd let you off easy for now, since you are hurt and all." Barbara heard him chuckle.
"Yeah," he muttered. "I love you, Bat-Eyed Babs."
"I love you too, Ding-Dong Dick," she mumbled. "By the way, don't call me Bat-Eyed Babs."
"Never change, Babs, never change," Dick chuckles.
Hello, everyone! Dang, what am I doing?! I haven't wrote anything for our favorite dorks in a WHILE! I've been spending all of my time writing for Trolls… I've gone SOFT!
Moving on…. This fic was inspired by Christina Aguilera's song "Hurt." You should go check out her song. It's beautiful! I first found out about it by listening to Romy Monteiro's shortened version on The Voice of Holland. She is one of the best singers I've ever heard! Be sure to check her out, too! Especially her first audition. I was all like WOW when I first heard it!
Anyways, read, review, and have an awesome day!