Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Sadly. Otherwise I'd keep Kate Beckett around all day.

I

She stood outside his door, shivering under the heavy brown coat she had grabbed in her haste to leave. They had almost lost each other today - trapped in a freezer clinging to each other for warmth. Secrets on the tip of her tongue ready to be spilled until she lost consciousness, falling away into the darkness. Her secrets slipping away along with her consciousness, finding their way back into the smallest, darkest corners of her mind, hiding from the light.

The face of the man she loved wasn't the first thing she saw when she woke. She saw Josh Davidson. Surely that should have meant something life affirming to her? Her boyfriend stuck around New York to be with her, blowing off Haiti and all the lives he could have saved. It should have meant something to her and yet here she was, standing outside her partners house at 3am after running out on her boyfriend.

She was out of her mind and yet this was the sanest she had ever been.

Her knuckles rapped ever so lightly against the hard wood of the door. He probably wasn't awake, maybe she should go. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. But she didn't want to leave. She couldn't. This is where she needed to be. This is where her heart need to be. If only she would ever admit it to herself.

Here he was. Richard Castle. He looked tired, broken and battered around the edges with his head poking out the front door looking at her like she was the sun. He was clinging to any piece of light and laughter that he could find. Struggling to find his place in a world that had almost lost him. That had almost lost her.

'Beckett?' he said, concern fleeting across his face, settling on the lines beneath his eyes making him look years older in a matter of moments. 'What are you doing here? Are you okay?'

His hand reached out and faltered half way between their bodies before falling back to his side. She had done this. She had made him hesitate around her, never knowing which Beckett he'd find. Would ice cold Beckett make an appearance today or would he get to see the the lighter, freer version of herself? She wanted more. She wanted more for herself, for them. Her body shuddered with every breath she struggled to take, tears sliding down her cheeks, 'Castle,' she gasped, reaching for him. Grabbing. Clinging.

Kate's arms wove their way round his neck, pulling his body to hers, moulding them together. She clung to him with everything she had, sobbing erratically into his shoulder. She had almost lost him today. She had almost lost him and she had never told him how she felt. Always hiding herself at every turn and never revealing her hearts truest self.

It felt like years had drifted by before she felt his arms circle her waist, pulling her body even tighter to his. You couldn't tell where Richard Castle ended and Katherine Beckett began.

'I'm here, Kate,' he murmured into her hair, running his hands up and down the length of her back, tangling his fingers in the knots of her hair. 'I'm always here. Always. For you Kate, always.'

A/N: This was currently written as a one-shot BUT if there's enough interest then I will definitely continue it so for now it will be marked as 'in progress'.

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