Dodge Many, Many Teeth
(Or Bea Tumbles Down The Rabbit Hole)
Third Age: Year 2931, The Fourth of April
Beatrice Eurwen-Lung(Bea as she preferred) was just waiting for the bus foot tapping, a little bit sore from a fencing practice(she was eager for regionals, determined to make sure her that this was the year she was chosen to represent her school instead of standing back like last year) when the very very unthinkable happened. Unexpected if you will. Her head was bobbing up and down absently to the soft, classical playlist she had made just for her commute, moving uneasily from foot to foot because it was close to eleven, late and colder than what she would like. She checked her phone for the time, frowning at the rather lateness of the number fifty bus.
"Oh, come on Larry," she mumbled, checking her phone again before she looked down the dark road expectantly, Larry was the typical driver of the 'last call' shift and was usually very punctual, even on a late Friday night like this, "I have a paper to finish."
She cursed at the fact that she hadn't thought to bring her laptop today(she had at least two more pages to write before she went on to edit it five times), but it had been her one class day and she had promised her Captain, Will, that she would spend most of the day practicing(Shape up Eurwen-Lung, we need our 'Golden Dragon' at regionals this year!). She had only brought her Kindle and her phone electronic wise and she was seriously regretting it. She scowled, shuffling in her well worn, laced up boots. She knew she could've finished it at lunch(skipped of course) instead of using that time to organize her equipment...
She could try to finish it on her phone but it was late, she was the only one at the bus stop, her usual bus buddy and roommate, Megan, had bolted to get an early start on her weekend with her girlfriend Leah. She knew better than to be super focused on something with it being as late as it was. She was already pushing it with her music, even if she had it on super low and only had one of her earphones in. That safety seminar that Megan had made her attend had repeated over and over again that earbuds are a dangerous distraction that made you an easy target, her compromises were to only set it at a low volume and with one earbud. Bea sighed, adjusting the straps on her backpack again.
She moved restlessly pacing and checking around nervously. The bus stop wasn't on campus- trust her luck that the only housing she could score was at least an hour away on foot and had a bus stop at a ten-minute walk from campus, tucked away by the side of the road that was surrounded by tall, shadowy trees. To add to that, the only street light was flickering, obviously in need of a replacement but no one had bothered to for some time. It was like a horror movie waiting to happen, especially with the full moon out, with Bea as the virginal idiot that was axed off first in the opening credits.
I really need to send in a complaint to the city. That thing hasn't worked for nearly a year.
Carefully, she tightened her grip on her bright pink taser, a gift from her brother, Arthur, when she had been given a scholarship from a Uni so far away from home. She did know self-defense- her mom being a Master of Changquan Wushu had made damn sure that her daughter could defend herself- but she knew she was an easy target because of her small size. Her brother did too, which is why he had insisted on the taser, even going as far as to decorate the damn thing with cheesy bedazzled stones at the very top in the shape of a very wonky heart. The fact that she was alone, late and cold made her nervous. She checked the time again, biting her lip.
Fuck, did I miss the bus?
Bea tensed at the thought and resolved that if the number fifty did not come in the next ten minutes(making it half an hour late at this point) she would jog home. It wouldn't be the first time and she doubted it would be the last. She frowned and wished she had caved and borrowed Megan's bike when she had mentioned she would leave right after her last class and skip out on her meditation club to 'Live in mortal sin this weekend with my sweet girl'. She immediately tensed when she heard a crack of twig off to the right.
Trying to not to freak out, she turned off the music, tugging out her earbuds as casually as she could and put her phone into her bra(a women's secret pocket) just in case she had to ditch her backpack(she didn't want to, but between her life or her backpack she would choose her life). When she heard nothing else for a few beats and saw nothing in the trees in the direction she had heard the sound, Bea felt her shoulders drop in relief.
So, of course, she was completely unprepared when a large fucking wolf came out from the trees.
Logically, Bea thought it was a large dog at first- starved and thin, ribs poking through its matted fur, growling and teeth bared. She blinked in sheer disbelief, wondering as it slowly made its way towards her, ready to pounce. It was so big- easily coming up to her shoulder and while Bea wasn't the tallest of people at a pretty small 4'8", she knew something was wrong with that. She had yet to see an animal be so big outside of a zoo.
"Nice doggy," she whispered, lifting her hands out, taser still in hand, automatically, in peace.
The thing snarled- roared, loudly, so loudly that Bea felt the sound vibrate in her chest. It was black, matted fur thing that looked half-crazy with large bloodshot eyes, assessing her with a startling intelligence that she never saw in normal dogs. She saw that it had large drool coming from his mouth and shook.
It's going to pounce. Will a taser even work on a wolf?
Bea took a deep, if shaky breath, trying to center herself as her mother taught her. She knew she had to run(martial arts and taser aside the main thing about not getting yourself killed was knowing a fight you could not win)- she but the damn thing was standing between her and the school, there was a small gas station a few miles behind her but she doubted she could make it without the damn thing mauling her- she wasn't a fast runner with her short legs, but she did have stamina, being a fencer required it. Was zig-zagging away from an animal bears or does it apply to all animals? Oh, no wait, Mythbusters said it was better to run straight and fuck the zig-zag- I remember that episode.
Slowly as it drew closer, Bea tensed her legs, when she saw it's leg bunch up, she lunged to the side, screaming and rolling away in a half-assed dodge roll that would have her mother rolling her eyes(You have to fall correctly, *Értóng). She landed awkwardly on her shoulder, something that hurt like a son-of-a-bitch but Bea was too tense to fall properly and she was already getting up while the damn thing smacked into the roof over the bus stop. She started to run and when it somehow managed to get in front of her, she did a very stupid thing by not sticking to the road in her panic and dodging into the trees before it could bite her arm off.
It was right on her heels as she ran full tilt into the forest, dodging tree after tree in the dark and hoping to God she could manage to somehow to find her way to school, heading in the vague direction she knew it was in- She pushed past low tree branches, slapping her in the face and pulling at her hair, thanking whatever deity she could think of at the fact that she could see somewhat in the dark-
She broke the tree-line, quite suddenly, nearly fell on her face as she tripped over a large tree root-Mother-fucker my ankle- just managing to catch herself on the tree that had just seemingly broken her ankle. Immediately, Bea knew something was very very wrong. For one, it was supposed to be the dead of night, so the sun shining on her face caused a great sense of alarm as she rushed away from the tree and forward, blinking rapidly at the sudden and very alarming change of light-
Even more so when she stumbled straight into a very tall man wearing a pointed hat and a very kick-ass beard.
He exclaimed, loudly in a lyrical language even as Bea gripped his robe to keep her balance.
"We have to run!" she exclaimed, loudly, eyes wide. She tugged at his robes urgently, pulling him as hard as she could, but the tall, thin man despite his apparent age, did not move an inch.
The old man blinked down at her.
"I beg your pardon, child, by the Valar-"
And then the wolf made itself known, snarling and hissing. Bea turned quickly, fumbling for her taser.
"Run old man!"
With that she pulled the trigger of her taser, watching the two barbs shootout, wishing beyond hope that this was would work- And she thinks if the wolf had just been a little bit smaller, it would have. As it was, it just growled, shaking and flinching at the voltage as the taser barbs sparked with electricity. But it kept coming- With a cry, the old man screamed at the creature, hands lashing out with a staff, hissing in a strange language that went over Bea's head as the wolf was thrown back, a loud, sickening crack sounding as the creature's head smashed into a nearby boulder.
Bea fell back in surprise, onto her butt, releasing the trigger of her taser. She stared at the dead wolf, chest heaving, tears in her eyes. The Old man had made it fly away from them without even touching it- she was no expert but she damn sure knew that had looked a lot like magic. Taking into account of the fact that it was day instead of night-
"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore," she whispered, hand coming up to hold the small throb she felt there. When she pulled away hand, she saw blood fuck head wounds bleed a lot.
"My child, I must inform you, I am not Toto," said the old man, drawing Bea's attention. He sniffed, drawing himself up to his full height as she turned to him- Jesus he's tall-, blinking rapidly, "I am Gandalf and Gandalf means me."
"I- It's a saying. A saying when you're in a place that's impossible or strange. I'm not calling you that."
The old man, Gandalf, raised a rather impressive, bushy brow.
"Appropriate, I suppose, given that to me, you are very particularly dressed and most likely not from around here. Not to mention, you gave no recognition of my name and I can tell you I am very well known."
Automatically, Bea looked down at her clothes. She had dressed for comfort- tight and easy to move in yoga pants that she could cover with her breeches without feeling too bulky and an overly large sweatshirt in her school's traditional blue that she could slip off easily, to put on her chest protector as well as her plastron and jacket. She bit her lip and looked backed up at the old man, who was dressed in a robe, an honest to God medievalesque robe that would not look out of place at a Renaissance fair. She blinked when he offered his large, weathered hand.
She took it and with surprising strength for someone so old, Gandalf lifted her to her feet. Well, she weighed about a hundred pounds, not too much for a twenty-year-old, but she knew even some kids her own age that would struggle to lift her up, much less an old man. Her ankle burned and she hissed as she shifted her weight to her other foot. She flinched when his hand came to touch at the cut on her forehead.
"You are injured, child. Come," he said simply and slightly dazed, she followed the old man.
He brought her to what looked like a small camp- a fire pit surrounded by weathered logs, something that looked almost like a sleeping bag, and set her down on one of the logs. Most likely in shock, Bea watched as the old man went to a large pack that was leaning on the log opposite to her's, rummaging through it and coming back with a few vials and a large, oddly shaped sack. He unscrewed the tip of the sack, grabbing a white bundle of fabric and wetting it. It's a water skin.
With that clean, damp cloth, he started to clean her face.
"I do believe I have stated my name, but you have yet to tell me yours," he said softly, moving to clean her arms, "I simply cannot keep calling you child."
"Beatrice. Beatrice Eurwen-Long," she replied after a second, blinking slightly, "But I liked to be called Bea. It's less of a mouthful."
The old man hummed.
"Well, Lady Beatrice, it appears that you have traveled a long way-" he eyes narrowed, "By the will of the Valar no doubt. From where do you hail?"
Um, Lady?
"Um, Bellflower, California?" At his blank stare, she tried again, "In the United States of America? But I live in Connecticut for school? Planet Earth, third from the sun?"
He simply shook his head. Definitely not in Kansas.
"Where are we?"
He gave her a look.
"We are the land of Middle-Earth, bordering on the realm Ered Luin, the Blue Mountains. Closer… Closer to Mithlond, the Grey Havens."
Bea stared at him helplessly as he started to apply a sweet smelling paste to her cuts and bruises. She didn't recognize anything he said- If she hadn't seen him fling a wolf and crush its skull against the rocks with nothing but words and a wave of his gnarled staff, she would've thought he was just a crazy old coot sprouting nonsense at her. But she had and understood with dread that she was, somehow, someway, no longer in the United States and possibly even Earth itself. He sighed.
"So you are not of this land," he said, sounding troubled, his brows came together in a deep furrow, "By your features, I would take you as some albino Easterling- but at your expression, I can tell that is not the case."
Okay, that sounds vaguely racist.
"My mother is from a country called China, it is to the East from the country I live in- and my dad is from Wales, which is technically East from the United States too- But I'm guessing that's not something you recognize."
He shook his head. He moved to her ankle, taking off her boot, shaking his head and moving it gently back and forth with the air of someone who did this often. As he moved it a certain way she sucked in a breath- which prompted him to tsk and to ease it back into place. He pressed into her ankle with his long fingers, feeling it for a bit before he nodded to himself.
"It's not broken, merely sprained but best if you do not place too much strain on it," he advised.
She nodded, long used to injuries thanks to both martial arts and fencing and the old man set to binding it up with some thick, tough cloth after he had applied a different paste 'to reduce the swelling'. He hummed and whispered in that strange language- It seemed as if the man knew several, each one with a different significance and purpose. She admired that, she could butcher her way through Welsh enough to ask where the bathroom was and was okay at Chinese if she concentrated, but by her mother standards she was barely fluent.
"Do you have any other injuries that need attending?"
She gestured to her shoulder which was throbbing like a bitch, and at his prompting, carefully removed her sweater. He did not flinch when he saw her semi-naked torso as she would have guessed from his speech and overall dress but instead focused on assessing her shoulder with the cool air of a professional. He poked and spoke in a lyrical language- different from what he had spoken to fling the mangy wolf away from her.
"Nothing too dire, not what many can say after encountering a lone, starved Warg."
She blinked.
"Warg?"
"Ay. A Warg. Strange to see one without its rider but that one was lame- abandoned by pack and rider because of the weakness. They don't last long without a pack, but they go mad as they starve."
She shivered, turned to the corpse of the giant creature. She could see that he was right, one of his legs, the right back one, was twisted oddly, with a heavy scar running from the paw to the haunch.
"Poor thing," she mumbled, feeling pity. It was only an animal and it was starving.
The old man laughed.
"It tries to eat you and you see fit to pity it?"
Beatrice shrugged, wincing at the pain on her shoulder.
"Dress, Lady Beatrice, I am not eager to lay camp here once again with a lone Warg so near. I know you are lost- very lost indeed- but you are tired and it is not time yet to discuss how or why you came to be in Middle-Earth."
She pulled on her sweater, watching his as he packed up his camp with the ease of someone ten times younger then he looked and with the practiced air of a mountaineer. She nibbled on her lip as he pulled his horse, which had been dozing calmly throughout the entire ordeal and started to load him up with his things, before he turned to her, tossing a cloak from his pack.
"Cover yourself, it is cold and perhaps it is not best to advertise you are not of this place."
With a slight fumble, Bea managed to clasp the simple silver pin at the base of her throat, dragging the long, blue material close around her and making a point to cover her clothes with the surplus of soft, velvety material. The cloak was definitely too long for her, but as Gandalf lifted her up in his arms and then onto the horse with an easy, economic movement, she found that it didn't really matter.
"You know, you're reacting very calmly for a man who just saved a girl from another World from a Warg," she said, settling oddly on the large horse. It was odd to feel how the animal was… Well, alive beneath her, its breath steady and calm beneath her thighs, moving softly inwardly and then outwardly.
He laughed again, deep and rich.
"I could say the same to you, to be so calm for a girl who stepped into a new World, Lady Beatrice. But I am a Wizard- It is more concerning when odd things do not occur."
Despite everything, Bea couldn't help but laugh.
" I don't think I'm registering the fact that I'm here just yet... And call me Bea, please, Beatrice is something my mother calls me when I'm in trouble."
He frowned.
"My dear, Child, who says you are not?" he said, calmly, seriously, "Despite my rescue of you, you are in a foreign land, with no indication of how you came to be here. Trouble is an adequate if an understatement of what you are in."
And with that, he flipped the large, voluminous hood over her head and set off at a steady, but quick pace on foot, leading with reins in hand and with Bea clutching at the horn of the saddle with a startling realization that he was very, very right.
AN: I do not own the Hobbit, nor the Lord of the Rings, its characters, plot, and the world belong to its author(his family now, really), its publishing house and production company.
This is me, making misshapen sandcastles in its sandbox.
*Értóng- It means Child in Chinese.
To clear things up, in Beatrice's world, the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings do not exist. Why? Because I was tired of reading OCs lamenting on how they're going to save Thorin and company, and certainly didn't want to write about it. Not that there is anything wrong with those OCs, but I just wanted to try something new, and have her not have any prior knowledge of the world she has managed to rabbit-hole her way into felt refreshing to write. Not to say of course, that Bea will not affect the ending of the Hobbit and possibly save at least one of them, but its not really my end goal. It's more me exploring Middle-Earth with a new character, expanding on certain characters and making Tolkien's wonderful, fantastical world of good and evil a little bit more in the gray area.
On a related note, the events of the Hobbit will take place, but only a little further down the line. Roughly Chapter Seven is where that plot thread is going to be introduced, simply because I want to ease into it and not have it start right away. After all, getting into a new world in itself is worthy of development, not just a crazy quest for to kill a dragon.
I hope you enjoy, drop a review, and possibly visit my other Hobbit story, Fool of a Took!
~Happy Reading,
Moon Witch '96