Have you ever done something that makes you feel so guilty that it chips away at you slowly but painfully? Have you ever tried to make everyone think your fine but you're dying on the inside? Well I have to put a smile on my face to make sure the ones I love don't worry. I'm not a bad person, or I hope I'm not. I have opened more than a handful of orphanages, homeless shelters, local libraries, community centres and grants for people who needed it the most. I also have charities to help the less fortunate, and centres to help people trying to get jobs. It's not like it would burn a hole in my wallet/purse. My parents left me everything they owned as I was an only child as they had been themselves. My father was an orphan and my mother had lost her mother a few hours after she gave birth to her and was bought up by her father who passed away when I was five years old.

My father had worked six jobs to put himself through college where he had met my mother and fallen in love with her. They both were doctors and two of the best in Gotham city. My grandfather was from old money and lots of it which he had left everything to my mother who had then left everything to me when she had died.

I was with them in the car the night they had died in the accident. They were with me to drop me off at home after a charity event that I was holding at my husband's penthouse but it was raining and we were hit by a drunk driver. My mother died on the spot whereas my father died holding my hand at the hospital. I was the one that got off lightly compered to my parents. Four broken ribs, a dislocated arm, broken wrist, a ruptured spleen and a concussion.

Plus my husband also came from old money as well, he also is an only child like me and his parents were murdered when he was younger. I had been best friends with him since I could remember. My parents and his were best friends and colleagues so we would spent a lot of time together I was left at his house with his trusted butler when my and his parents had to work. As clique as it sound I fell in love with my best friend and then went on to marry him and have been with him for 13 years, three years dating and ten years married.

But still the guilt eats away at me because I'm cheating on my husband, the love of my life. Let's start at the beginning my name is Amelia Sophia Wayne. I'm married to Bruce Wayne, yes THE Bruce Wayne. I've been with Bruce since I was 15 years old and married him when I was 18 years old. I know what you're thinking are you insane? Why on earth would you cheat on that Greek God? Well technically I'm not cheating on him because he walked out on me almost 8 years ago. He hasn't so much as called, text, emailed or wrote to me not even once since he walked out on me. But I still love him with all my heart and have all the hope in the world that he is going to walk through the door and hold me again. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I would give anything to get another day with him, to hold him, to kiss him, to make love to him, to hear his voice, to hear his laugh and to see him smile.

But since Bruce had left me all those years ago I had thrown myself in to my charities and organisation. Trying to fill the gaping hole that he had left in my heart the day he had walked out on me to never been seen or heard from again. I had worked none stop trying to keep myself busy so that I wouldn't have free time with my thoughts. After my parents had died the only people that I had left to call my family were Bruce, his… well our butler Alfred Pennyworth and our best friend Rachel. Bruce had left eight years go and two years later I had lost my parents to the car accident.

I didn't want to feel anything for another man other than my husband but I couldn't help it. I needed someone to talk to, to hold me and comfort me. I had met him whiles working at the asylum that I had volunteered at twice a week. He kept to himself and away from the others. He was smart and emotionless around everyone else. He was Johnathan Crane the head of Arkham asylum. I had first met him over a year and a half ago at a charity event that I had organised to raise money for the asylum. He had been out of place with the elite of Gotham. I had spoken to him briefly with another doctor that worked at Arkham. He had approached me after seeing that I was visibly upset at the whispers of some of the women about how they felt sorry about my husband walking out on me, my dead parents. Some were genuinely sympathetic and some were vicious and bitter because Bruce had married me. They went on about how I was stupid to think that Bruce would settle down with someone like me. I tried to ignore them, not to get to me but sometime it just got too much. It wasn't as if this was anything new. Johnathan had heard, he had sent them cold glares that made them flinch and he comforted me and insulted them so that they had heard him. They had shut up pretty quickly after that and went on talking among themselves.

I had become friends with him and started too volunteered at the asylum and grew closer to him. He was different with me, I got to see a side of Johnathan that no one else had seen. I was the one that made the first move. We were working alone in Johnathan's office, I was attracted to him that was a given I had feeling for him and I had been fighting myself to stop then, to make them go away but they just grew more intense. So he was sorting paperwork out his tie askew, his hair messed up, his glasses slid on to his nose. I didn't know what possessed me or what I was think, I kissed him. Johnathan just froze in shock but when I made a move to leave feeling absolutely mortified, he grabbed hold of my wrist pulling me to his chest. Johnathan kissed me back and after that there was no looking back.

I had been with Johnathan for almost one year and a month. Nobody knew about us besides the two of us but Alfred had his suspicions, he had a knowing smile on his face. Alfred had even commented at how I was smiling more and I seemed happier that I had been in a long time. We met at his office and his apartment, there were a few times we had gone to a bar or a diner but that was only during dinner and made sure to carry work with us to make it look like it was a business dinner. It wasn't as if I could meet him out in the opened because who I was and because of who I was married too. Even though Bruce had been declared dead I was still his wife or widow even. Rachel and I had fought to have this declaration over turned but with no result.

I live in Gotham city one of the most corrupt city in the world. The city was run by the Mob families and what they wanted and said was the law. Most of the cops were in their pockets, as well as the lawyer, judges and other law enforcements and even the government. I had been trying to make the city a better place for the residences and had the help of some of the elite of Gotham. Most of what I had been able to do for the city was because of the help that I had received from them. But some were still wiry of helping because they didn't want to be involved with the Mob families. They didn't want themselves or their friends and family hurt because of this. Murders and muggings were not anything shocking in Gotham city.

This was one of the reasons that I had opened charities and the grants to help people out. I wanted to help them when they needed money and place to stay. So that they wouldn't be desperate enough to join the crime family. That was the main part of the crime and corruption was because of the poverty in Gotham city. People that was desperate to get money for their family that they were willing to do anything. Anything meaning working for the Mob families and to commit crimes. My parents and my in-laws had tried to help the less fortunate people of Gotham but it didn't do much. There was a shock when my in-laws were murdered my Joe Chill. This got people to pay attention and trying to help instead of pretending nothing was happening. But it wasn't till I started my organisations that people were willing to help more. I was able to do more but there was still a lot more to do to make this city safe and corruption free. I was the face of my organisations whiles they were the silent partners or silent investors so that nobody could hurt them. So they were less afraid to help.