Sehnsucht Ist So Grausam
by Chipolata

A word from the author before we begin the story:

As many of you might have noticed, not long ago removed this story and banned me from posting, quoting the "Not Allowed: Real Person, Chat/Script, Interactive, MST" rule. I wasn't quite sure what to make of this, I can only assume they removed my story because of the large, script-format author notes featured at the beginning and end of each chapter.

However, as you can see, I have re-posted the story at the request of my fans (ie Faye). To ensure that it is not removed in the future, I have cut my author notes from the chapters in favour of this introductory passage. Also, I have taken advantage of this small break in my life and my submission rights to make minor changes to the story: chapters have been merged, spelling and grammar corrected, small sections rewritten to make better sense.

To eliminate reader confusion or anger:

Sehnsucht Ist So Grausam is the title of a Rammstein song. It means, 'Longing is so cruel'.

Warm fuzzies is a greeting, used by my old principal.

This piece contains 'yaoi' or 'shonen-ai' themes. That means, it features homosexual relationships, or implies them. I would hope nobody has a problem with this.

There are references to rape. They begin the end of chapter two. Readers should note they are only references, and my piece does not contain any graphic scenes of sex, or violence.

- Standard disclaimer goes here -

Chapter One

Gohan pushed Piccolo against the wall and began to roughly kiss him. He held Piccolo around the waist, massaging his sides. Piccolo responded by wrapping his arms around Gohan, pulling the half-saiyan closer. The two continued to kiss, tongues exploring, pulling closer and closer...

Gohan pulled off briefly, to take a breath. Staring into Piccolo's deep black eyes, Gohan held his hand to Piccolo's face, gently stroking the Namek's lips with his thumb. With a soft, loving expression in his eyes, he whispered.

"I will always love you, Piccolo."

Gohan leaned in for another kiss, and--

BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP

Piccolo was knocked from his pleasant dreams by the harsh tones of his alarm clock. With a groan he reached out from under the covers, hitting the 'off' button and turned the clock to face him.

10:30 A.M.

Piccolo sat up, shocked that he had slept in, and that his alarm clock had failed to wake him until now. He rubbed his eyes, trying to activate the rest of his brain. As he felt the grey matter start up, his thoughts turned to his dream.

He'd been having a lot of dreams like that lately, and not just about Gohan. It seemed that all of the Z-warriors had showed up, with even Tien making a guest appearance.

Piccolo had often pondered his strange dreams. Surely, as a Namek, he shouldn't consider such acts, especially not subconsciously?

The answer often fell on his upbringing. After all, he was raised on Earth, among a people who seem to be dominated by sexuality and its purpose. It could be that living with that his whole life meant that the ideas had rubbed off on him.

He heard giggling behind his closed door, and suddenly realised what had happened to his alarm clock.

'So, Dende decided to play a prank, eh?' he mused.

Then he heard another voice which made him freeze.

Gohan.

"Maybe I should wake him up?" Gohan suggested from behind the door.

"Okay, better you than me. I'd be dead the minute I stepped in the door." Dende said.

'Oh, you bet.' Piccolo thought.

Then, in a flash of inspiration, Piccolo put the clock back where it had been, lay back down in his bed in the position he woke in and began to meditate.

Gohan opened the door and saw what he thought was a sleeping Piccolo.

'How can he sleep so long?' he wondered, as he tip-toed into the room.

Dende remained in the doorway.

Gohan walked over to the Namek's bed and gently shook Piccolo's arm.

"Piccolo? Time to wake up!" he said, softly.

Piccolo was deep in his meditation by now. He still knew what was going on around him, of course. That was all a part of the plan.

"Piccolo?" Gohan asked, a little louder this time.

Gohan was worried now. During his training before the Saiyans came, Piccolo would constantly complain that Gohan's loud voice had woken him up, even though Gohan was only murmuring about pancakes and maple syrup. He'd gotten the idea that Namekian hearing couldn't tolerate much during sleep.

Gohan put a hand to Piccolo's forehead. Frightened, he pulled away. He knew that Nameks had a lower heat tolerance level than humans and that therefore Piccolo's body temperature would be lower, but Piccolo was practically stone cold!

Gohan placed two fingers on Piccolo's neck, searching for a pulse.

"What's wrong, Gohan?" Dende whispered from the door.

When he didn't find what he was looking for, Gohan turned to Dende and said, "I think he's dead."

Dende rushed to Gohan's side, and looked at his unmoving half-brother.

"Wha..? But how - and what - dead?" Dende was shocked.

The two were silent.

"M-Maybe you should try and revive him." Gohan suggested, on the verge of tears.

Dende moved closer and extended his hands over Piccolo. Pushing back a large wave of emotion, he tried to summon the concentration required for healing, when suddenly--

"BOO!!!!!" Piccolo shouted, jumping out of bed.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" The two teenagers yelled.

Dende collapsed in a dead faint.

Piccolo fell back onto the bed, laughing his head off.

"PICCOLO!!!" Gohan yelled, attacking the hysterical green man. "What the HFIL were you THINKING?!?!? We thought you were dead!"

"He deserved it." Piccolo said, calming down enough to talk. "Serves him right for messing with my alarm clock."

-

It was just another ordinary day. The 'playing dead' incident was over a week ago, so Piccolo and Dende had forgiven each other. Piccolo, instead of his usual training and meditation, had opted to spend the day lazing about in the hammock he'd strung up between two of Mr Popo's palm trees.

The breeze was soft and cool, and soon Piccolo's thoughts began to wander. He remembered how the rest of the Z-gang had reacted to the story of him playing dead to get Dende for stuffing up his alarm clock. Almost everyone reacted the same way:

"Yeah right, Gohan, no way. I know Piccolo, he wouldn't do something like that, he's too serious."

Of course, they hadn't been there. Nor did they live with Piccolo, which in itself could be considered suitable punishment for Cell. But not because it was strict.

But Goku had reacted differently. He laughed, and told Gohan,

"I wish I'd thought of that!"

Piccolo smiled. Goku seemed ready to accept anything Gohan told him. Almost like he had this sense which told him what was the truth and what wasn't.

Piccolo was just about to consider why the other Z-warriors hadn't made much of an effort to know him when Gohan flew over the edge of the look-out in his Great Saiya-man outfit. Gohan turned to Piccolo in his hammock and waved.

"What are you doing up there, Piccolo?" he called.

"It's my day off." Piccolo replied, getting up and floating down to his friend.

"That's good. Apart from the fact that I like dropping by, I'm here to extend warm fuzzies from Bulma." Gohan said. "She's having a party; all the Z-warriors will be there. She'd like you two to come."

"Sorry, Gohan. I can't make it, I'm too busy." Dende told him.

"I'll be there." Piccolo said.

"Great! It's tonight, at about 5:30. And bring your bathers, they have a pool at Capsule Corp and Bulma wants it used." Gohan said.

"I don't have any swimwear." Piccolo admitted.

"That's okay, I'll get Dad to take you some." Gohan said.

Gohan began to take off.

"See you later, Piccolo!" Gohan called, and flew off.

Piccolo was left speechless. Him, swim? Like that would ever happen!