You're waking up. You can hear them, the voices.
They're talking, a low hum...if you were musical you'd describe it as A flat, but you're not, so you don't.
You try to open your eyes, but you can't.
You try to remember...but it hurts. God it hurts...it's like you brain's going to explode, and it hurts.
And there's someone there with you. You can feel them, lying next to you, completely still.
And you open your eyes to see who it is, and it's her. And you look at her face, and you see tears. Lots of tears, and the moment of joy at seeing her has passed, and it's lost, lost in the sea of tears falling from her closed eyelids.
And you see past her. You can see machines, and IV bags on a metal pole, and you follow the tube, and you see it attached to a needle in your hand.
And then it's too much, and you look at her again, and you can feel the splash of her tears on your shoulder, and you an see the water running down her face, and you can't help thinking of the music that would go with this scene if it were in a film, and that distracts you for a split second.
Until she opens her eyes, and she sees you.
And it's like she didn't expect it, and she jumps off the bed, and wipes franticly at her eyes and nose.
And you see that you're in a hospital, and you wonder why. And there are nurses, and your head hurts. And you feel the gaze of her on you, and you look up. You look at her face, and you realise there's something down your throat. A tube, and it's choking you, and you start to cough, and splutter.
And she panics. she runs off, and comes back with a nurse, and they get rid of the tube, and you try to speak. It takes you three tries, but you manage to say two words.
"How bad?".
And her face...
And in that one moment, your heart breaks, as you see hers has. Because when you spoke, a wave of tears sprung, and she turned her face away.
And that was all the answer you needed.
Then the nurse puts a mask on you, and you sleep.
And when you wake up, she's lying next to you again, and her eyes are red, and her hair's a mess, and she's never looked better in her life.
And you take her hand. You smile at her, through all the tears, and you vow to never let go.
And then the nurse comes, and she uses lots of big words in the posh way those nurses do, and you look at her, and she tells you that you're dying, but they've got you on morphine for the pain.
And you turn to look at her. And you see more tears, and you tell her to stop because she's making the pillow wet. And she speaks. And it's not 'How are you', or 'where were you' or 'how did you end up here', it's "i love you" and it's better than all the words in the world.
And you cry. You tell yourself off, because you're a guy, and guys don't cry, but you don't listen to yourself and carry on crying, because it seems apropriate.
And she smiles at you.
And again the nurse ruins it by telling you you have less than an hour to live.
And you close your eyes.
When you wake up you want to puke. You want to curl up on the floor and die because there's pain in your stomach and it won't stop.
And then you remember, and you start to cry again, because you may not be curled up on the floor, but you're going to die anyway.
And you look at your watch, and you say "ten minutes" because you're feeling dramatic, and you haven't fully realised yet that you're going to die.
And she turns around, and she starts crying too.
And then your stomach hurts, and it convulses, and you cry out, because you think that someone somewhere will stop it.
But they don't.
And the pain gets worse, and you mentally curse the nurse for being such a liar.
And then she kisses you.
And the world stops.
The pain goes away.
Your iminant death is no longer happening, because she's kissing you, and you don't realise that the nurse has just turned off your life support.
And then she stops.
And you try to cling on to something, because you can feel the blackness clawing at your insides, and you know this is it, but you want to kiss her again.
And you're scared. More scared than you have ever been in your life.
But it's okay.
And you try not to feel angry, because you don't want to feel anger as you die. You want to feel love, and you want to live.
But you can't.
And so you die.
And the last thing you hear is her crying, and it makes you sad. And you think:
I Defy You, Life.
A/N- I apologise if it's crap, but I thought i'd try writing from a guy's point of view. Pleeaaaaasssseeee let me know what you think. Please? For a cookie?