I wrote this in like, 20 minutes. Is not Beated (? and is kinda mess. It's 23.00 where I am, so technically is still day one!
Alex was never confident about relationships in general. She was never pro intimacy. She was never the kind of girl who jump in a relationship without thinking it twice, never was comfortable enough around her boyfriends to just be herself.
She believed for a long time the problem was in her, because it wasn't like the men who she had dated were bad or not gentle, it was quite the opposite. They were patients with her, they understood when she had to stay at work after hours, trying to crack a case. That didn't last for a long time. She thought it was normal, they didn't want to wait forever, so she let them go.
Being with them didn't feel right. Didn't feel like it supposed to feel. Didn't feel like Kara or her friends in high school told her it feels. So she just assumed that relationships and love and all that stuff wasn't for her, so she stopped trying, she focused on protect her sister and on her work.
But then she realized that the problem actually were the men and she notice it just a few days after meting Maggie. When she realized that she was gay, all made sense, that she never liked relationships because it were with men.
She never thought that she could have all this with Maggie.
She never thought that after a specially very long day at the DEO working after hours, doing paperwork because she had lost an agent, a good agent with a family waiting for him to come back home, she actually has someone to come back home too, she has someone to cry with, she has someone who cared about her and hold her when she had nightmers. She had someone who felt comfortable enough to be herself.
She never thought that she was able to say 'I love you' to somebody else who wasn't her sister, and say it so confident and without any doubt in her voice. But she did, and Maggie said it back, and Alex believed it, she believed it so hard.
She never thought that she could get married, to look for a full future with someone, to wake up with the same person every morning. But here she is, staring at her beautiful wife, still sleeping with messy hair, snoring (altought she will never admit it), with a too-big shirt for her form Alex's wardrobe, half on top of her, legs tangled naturally, looking as beautiful as always.
She never thought that she could have kids, because her job and her lack of succesful relationships, but again, here she is, looking at her wife waking up because of a crying, their baby crying, who they named Jamie, after months of thinking about it, vetoing name after name, til' Kara came up with Jamie and they just felt in love with it.
'I'll go, babe. Keep sleeping" Alex says as she leans over, kissing Maggie on the forehead, getting up slowly, trying to not disturb Maggie so much.
"Mm'kay" Maggie responds as she buries her face in Alex's pillow.
She never thought that she could have this type of intimacy with someone, but Maggie came trying to steal her crime scene, leaving her word upside down.