Disclaimer: Don't own the Winchester brothers, Castiel or Bobby. That honor belongs to Eric Kripke and Sera Gamble. As much as I love Chaka Khan's Angel, I don't even own that. Just thought some of the lyrics would help the story out. But I do own the happiness and relief I have knowing there will be a 7th season! Holla!
A.N: I kept having this confrontation convo between Dean with Sam N Bobby and Castiel, so I thought I'd give it a shot and see what happens. My version of what could happen next week. Wrote this all today too! =D
Um, I guess there could be spoilers if you haven't seen the 30 sec promo from next week, but really if you haven't you wouldn't really know that I didn't come up with certain lines that I expanded on, from said preview, if you will. Just thought I'd say.
Summary: Set after 6.19 Mommy Dearest. Dean along with Sam and Bobby confronts Castiel. Is it too late for the going wayward angel?
THEN:
"How did Crowley get away?" Bobby raised the question, "I mean it's not like Cas to make mistakes like that. Unless..." He trailed off.
Dean looked between his brother and Bobby. "Unless what?" he asked confused.
Bobby was hesitant in his answer, "Unless he meant to."
Dean gave a disbelieving chuckle as his glaze shifted between the two. "Bobby, this is Cas we are talking about."
Cas would never do anything like that…
Would he?
"You believe this?" Dean asked turning to Sam.
Sam fidgeted and look away and down at his feet.
Dean couldn't believe this. "Sam?" he cried.
"It's nothing…." Sam spoke softly, regret in his voice, "It's just." He paused, "You're right, it's probably nothing."
Dean felt a little ill at the thought that were now turning in his head.
NOW:
It was three days passed, and Dean still could not turn his brain off. Every little thing that Castiel had said or done, these past several months, kept replaying in his mind. Even at the time, Dean thought that Castiel was acting off, but he didn't really put all that much stock into it, just assuming that with the return to heaven he was busy.
Oh, yeah, that and the war with Raphael.
But now things didn't sit right with Dean. Even Sam and Bobby were picking up clues from Castiel that were bothering them to no end.
Dean kept thinking about when, apparently, Castiel willingly let Balazathar send them on the wild goose chase in that alternate reality.
He still had the occasional nightmare of those busted up Impalas.
His poor baby.
He kept thinking, turning things over in his mind, time and time again as he had been doing for the past several days. His brain was like the energizer bunny.
Kept going on and on and on and on and...
He couldn't even enjoy the fruits of his labor with Eve being dead with his brain on a constant treadmill.
Needlessly to say it was starting to annoy him.
His eye twitched.
"You keep frowning and you're face will stick that way", Bobby spoke up.
They were currently sitting in Bobby's "office". Bobby was in his usual chair behind the desk. Sam was sitting across from Bobby looking worriedly at his older brother.
Dean sat on the couch frowning, his hand on his chin, elbow on his knees, as he stared off. He barely gave Bobby acknowledgment for speaking. His only tell that he heard him was the fact that he shifted.
"You okay?" Sam asked.
"Sam, my brain is going 2000 miles per hour and I can't shut it off. What the heck do you think?" Dean snapped finally after a moment of a delay.
"Look, I understand, if it's true and believe me, I don't want it to be, but if it is, then he was my friend too and I'm upset about it as well."
Dean stood up abruptly. "You know what, no…I'm not letting this go on another moment. He got me running in circles up here", he tapped his temple, "And I'm not going for it. We settle this today."
He moved with purpose out of the room. Bobby and Sam exchanged a look before darting after him. They figured what he was going to do, but neither one was willing to mention it first, not knowing how Dean would take it.
But they were glad that they were finally going to get to it.
They all needed answers because a whole lot wasn't right.
"You think he'll come?" Sam asked.
They were in Bobby's junkyard, lounging around. Dusk was beginning to settle in.
Bobby was across from the brothers. "You think this will work?" he asked.
"Stick to the plan, and he will be and it will." Dean muttered answering both questions at the same time before yelling, "Cas, seriously, I've been calling for ten freaking minutes! Get your feathered behind down here! This is important! I'm not playing around here!"
Both Sam and Bobby exchanged a look. They knew he wasn't playing. It seemed that the longer this went on the angrier Dean became. Guess that's what all that thinking and turning over mentally will do to you.
"What is it, Dean? I told you I'm busy", came a stoic voice.
Dean and Sam pushed off their car and turned to face Castiel, a few feet away. Bobby was already facing Castiel, but he straightened, hands in his pocket.
"Yeah, well, you can afford a vacation for half a second. Get over here! We need to talk." Dean said, careful to keep the anger out of his voice so that Castiel wouldn't suspect anything.
Castiel cocked his head, a very Cas thing to do, as he sighed and walked the length between them. "What is it?", he asked as he got closer and suddenly Bobby moved so fast that the next thing that Castiel knew was that he was in a holy circle of fire.
Stunned, he turned around in a circle slowly, just to look at it. Then he slowly looked up at the three hunters. "What…..are…..you doing?" he asked hesitantly, not certain where this was going.
"That's insurance, so you don't fly away on us", Dean spoke, finally letting the anger seep in to his voice.
Castiel cocked his head again, "You are angry." He stated.
How come he didn't noticed before? He walked right into a trap.
But then again, he never suspected one.
And frankly he was a hurt by this. Why would those he considers his friends, do this to him?
"Brilliant observation, Sherlock!" Dean stated flatly, "You get a gold sticker for that."
Castiel sighed, "Dean, put this out. I don't have time for this. I have…"
"You NEVER seem to have "time...", here Dean did air-quotes, "...anymore!"
Castiel border lined hissed, "Dean, I have a civil war, I'm trying to fight. I don't have time to be at your beck and call."
He looked at Sam hoping to get an appeal, "Sam, let me out."
Sam looked uneasy but he shook his head, "No. We all need to talk, cause we all need answers."
"Yes, and you aren't going anywhere, until we get it. So get comfy", Dean smirked humorlessly.
"I don't have time for this. Don't you realized while we are having our petty squats, bad things could be happening?"
"Petty?" Here Dean turned disbelieving and looked at Sam and Bobby as he repeated, "He said, petty." He turned back to Castiel, "Trust me, this isn't petty. We have never called for anything petty. Don't get it twisted."
"I don't have time..." Castiel repeated through clenched teeth.
"And I don't want to hear it", Dean snapped as he took a step closer to the fire, "Now, for the past couple of days, my brain hasn't shut off."
"If it did, you'd be dead", Castiel interjected.
Sam and Bobby couldn't help a chuckle at such basic logic.
Dean wasn't in the mood and glared at each in turn who sobered quickly and turned back to Castiel, "What I mean, is that I've been thinking and thinking and…for the past three and a half days it's been going on nonstop. And so many things, just wasn't adding up no matter how hard I tried." He pointed to Sam without looking at him, "Do not think about a non-intelligence joke at my expense, Sam."
Sam pressed his lips together trying to keep a smile and chuckle to himself. It wasn't the time nor place for it, but it was refreshing to know that Dean knew automatically what train of thought Sam's brain was going when he said that.
Castiel looked on impatiently wanting to get to a point.
"And you know what? I'm sick of it. I really am." Dean's voice lowered as he went on. "So I'm going to start with a really basic question. A simple yes or no will suffice. Look me in the eye and tell me you are not working with Crowley."
Dean and Castiel had a stare down as Bobby and Sam held their breath. It was a tell, that told much, when Castiel looked away briefly.
Dean deflated, and both Sam and Bobby had disappointment in their eyes.
Dean took a step back, "So it's true."
"Dean..." Castiel tried.
"NO!" Dean snapped, "You mean all this time? All this TIME! You were playing US? What….I…..just…..I… it's…just…I…the crap is going on? Is it opposite day?" Dean looked disbelieving not even being able to speak. He opened his mouth again and no sound came out.
It was Sam who stepped up as Dean turned his back to Castiel still in shock as he walked forward a little ways and leaned on a car. Sam glanced at Dean before looking back at Castiel, "Why? We want to know why? Why would you do such a thing?"
"And angel and demon walk into a bar…." Dean cut in murmuring with a snort.
"Wha?" Bobby asked. Sam looked at Dean.
"It's a step-up to a bad joke." Dean threw over his shoulder, "An angel and a demon walk into a bar…" he continued muttering to himself under his breath at this point.
There was a moment's pause.
"Why?" Sam repeated looking back at Castiel.
Castiel shifted on his feet, "I don't have time for this."
"You never have time for anything, Castiel. And you aren't going anywhere, so you may as well cut to it. It'll get you out sooner", Bobby spoke up.
Castiel sighed impatiently as he had a habit of doing nowadays, "You have no idea, what I'm up against. We must defeat Raphael at all costs."
"Does all cost include working with a demon?" Bobby asked.
"And you pitched that line, time and time again. You really need to find another slogan", Dean tossed over his shoulder still having his back turned to the group.
"It's the best I can give you. I don't expect you to understand", Castiel said.
"That's cause, you haven't given us a chance to understand." Dean shot back.
Sam broke in, "And believe me, we want to understand, we are just having a hard time, right now."
"You know what! I thought you were different!" Dean cried, turning around suddenly finding his wind as he walked back to face Castiel, "I mean all your frat brothers were…..well, they were dicks. And I thought you were different. For once, I thought there was an angel up there that had their wings unruffled, but apparently I was wrong. I mean was it all a lie? Helping us all this time…."
"Dean, don't be stupid. It wasn't and you know that."
"Do I? Then was the heck is going on? Are your possessed or something?" Dean near failed his arms, "What? I mean all of a sudden, it's different. And the thing is you know us! YOU know us! You know that we've have had demons and angels both vying for us. We've fought everything in between. We had heaven and hell both vying for our collective behinds, so you can't stand there and tell me you don't know how I feel about that. I don't like being used, especially when I don't know that I'm being used. It pisses me off! You knew that! You KNOW that! If you had asked maybe, give me a straight answer to what was going on, we could have found a way to help you, but for you to go behind our backs, use us as pawns? I will not stand of it!" By now Dean was getting out of breath, though his face was red from anger.
The more Dean talked the more Castiel looked remorseful, "Dean, you must understand. There is a war…"
"You pitch that line to me again, so help me God, I will come across that fire!" Dean hissed.
Then Castiel hardened and looked around the group, "I do what needs to be done", he said finally after a bit.
"Cas, look...working with a demon...isn't the best way to go. Believe me", Sam implored.
Castiel looked at Sam, almost looking down at him, "And you know all about that, don't you Sam? You did things for the greater good that were wrong, didn't you? Want to start with this past year or do you want to start with several years ago?"
Sam seemed to shrink back into himself, his eyes showing shock and hurt that Castiel would throw that into his face. Bobby was just shocked, mouth open.
"OH, HECK NO!" Dean yelled, "Don't you DARE, bring my brother into this! I can't believe you would go there."
"I'm saying that it has been done, don't act high and mighty." Castiel almost sneered.
Dean's eyes flashed, "And look where it got us, huh? We had to avert an apocalypse, Cas! An dang apocalypse!"
"I know what I'm doing!" Castiel yelled.
"No, you don't! Cause if you did, you wouldn't be acting stupid, right now!" Dean cried.
"All I'm saying is that your brother has done the same thing..."
"He didn't know! I'm going to say this one time and one time only. He didn't know what he was doing was wrong. Ganking Lilith? Who would have thought it to be a bad thing, huh? But it was, and he didn't know it, except for heaven and hell, it seems, cause both were playing us. You remember, right? You rebelled because even you knew." Dean raised a hand, "And don't you dare go to a year ago when Sam was soulless. It wasn't him. He wasn't soulled, understand that? Don't you dare throw that back in his! Our faces! And regardless, we made our peace with all of that. New slate because we don't have time to keep grudges and whatnot. I'm not going there." Dean hissed, "And while I'm thinking about it. Looking back, you seemed so adamant about not rescuing Sam's soul."
Here Sam looked surprised.
"Want to explain why?" Dean asked glancing at Sam noticing his surprised look.
Castiel said nothing for a moment before he answered softly, "I told you. I was worried that his flayed soul would be too much for him to bear. It would kill him."
Dean studied Castiel. "I don't know that I believe that wholeheartedly. I want to. But I'm not sure anymore." His voice soften to disbelief and hurt, "You know I can't believe you would throw all this back at us, so carelessly."
Castiel looked down at this.
"I thought we were friends", came a hollow voice.
It was then that Castiel jerked his head up and looked at each of them, "We are. I have told you all this."
Dean shook his head, "No, cause friends wouldn't do this."
Castiel couldn't help but glance at Sam as if to say, 'Your brother did.'
"He didn't know, Cas." Dean spoke evenly seemingly reading Castiel's mind, "But you do. You're angel, you have your finger on the pulse of the universe, you know more than us, you know that. So you can't claim ignorance. And too, Sam was remorseful for what he did. And we settled that. I'm not going to revisit that. And I'm not letting Sammy revisit that." He glanced at Sam who's mouth twitched in a parody of a grateful smile. He was still smarting from Castiel's words, from the revelation that Castiel didn't fight so hard to help get his soul back.
Castiel looked openly regretful, the first glimpse of the angel they knew in a long time. "Dean… I….." he stopped and looked down briefly before looking up, "Please…..please, try to understand."
"Give us something work with." Dean murmured quietly.
"You have to trust me", was the answer.
Dean chuckled once humorlessly before shaking his head, "No. I'm not going down that road again. I won't."
Castiel looked broken at this. "Dean." He turned to Sam, "Sam!"
Sam shook his head, "I understand the feeling behind this. I understand thinking you are doing something for the greater good when it's hurting people around you, but I know where that path ends. And I'm telling you, you keep going down this path and it won't turn out well."
"I know what I'm doing", the angel's voice wasn't even confident to his own ears at that moment.
Sam shrugged once, "I thought I did too, until it was too late to do anything about it."
"Bobby", Castiel turned to the older man, hoping to get support there.
Bobby shook his head, disappointment and a little anger in his eyes, "Don't look at me, boy. When you stop being an idjit then call me."
"Please", Castiel murmured.
"Heck, no. Just no." Dean shook his head once, "If you had come to us and included us in your plan, I might have been lenient, but no. Just no. Bobby?"
Bobby nodded and walked behind a car and pulled out a hose. He turned it on and slowly it put out the fire.
"You're free to go. Unless you come to some kind of sense, lose our number", Dean spoke.
"Guys, please", Castiel begged.
"You lie to us, you use us, you diss my brother and let me tell you, if you know anything about me, you know that I don't take kindly to anyone hurting my brother. You know that how I get with that. So no. If you regain some sense that you seemed to have lost, maybe we'll talk."
Castiel watched the embers die down to nothing before looking back at the group, "I do consider all of you friends."
Dean paused before saying, "Then act like it. Prove it." Then he shook his head, his eye twitching, "You know what? I don't want to talk about his anymore. I'm getting a headache and I need a drink. Goodbye, don't let the door hit you, on the way out."
"Dean..."
"Cas...get the heck out of my face, out of my presence." Dean waved his hand, "You are sucking up all the good oxygen. Bye. Go. Now."
Castiel looked hard between the three of them.
"Why are you still here?" Dean hissed and before he could stop himself he walked up and took a swing.
Castiel moved his face as he got punched but felt no really sting, except that it hurt his feelings.
Dean however was cradling, his hand. "Ow...why can I never hit you, without hurting my hand?"
Castiel looked back at Dean. "Would it help you to hit me without hurting your hand?"
"I would like to", Dean snorted.
Castiel gave a sigh. "Then hit me."
"Cas..." Sam stated.
Dean eyed Castiel critically. "Right, I hit you again, I'll break my hand."
"I promise you won't. You can hit me if it'll make you feel a little better."
"Dean?" Sam cried. He felt this was going too far.
Bobby said nothing.
Dean paused a little longer before he let loose with another punch. To his surprise, he hit him hard enough to knock Castiel down. He laid ground for a brief moment before slowly standing up. Bobby and Sam watched on shocked.
"I'm shocked, Cas. You actually let me hit and hurt you." Dean murmured.
Castiel looked at Dean. "I told you that I would."
They stared at each other for a long time, mostly Dean analyzing Cas. "Get out of here." he ordered finally his voice a little lighter and less angered.
Castiel paused a moment before looking away, then looking back at them. He opened his mouth. He wanted to say more to them, but what else could he say? So he lowered his glaze and disappeared from sight with a ruffle of feathers.
"You okay?" Sam asked as Dean shook out his hand muttering to himself.
"Yeah."
"I'm surprised he let you hit him."
"I'm surprised he was truthful about it."
Sam took on a look of understanding, "You wanted to see if he'd lie to you."
Dean said nothing as Bobby handing him a small hanky out of his pocket.
There was silence long after.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to be right", Bobby murmured finally.
"Me neither", Sam added.
"No, I knew that there was something wrong, I just never thought it would be this…..this…" Dean sighed heavily, "I don't have a word."
"Treacherous?" Sam ventured cautiously.
"Yeah, that'll work", Dean nodded hopping on the hood of the car. Sam leaned next to him on one side and Bobby on the other.
More silence.
"You okay?" Dean asked finally turning to Sam.
Sam blinked.
Dean rolled his eyes, "It wasn't fair of him to throw that back in your face like that, Sam."
Sam shrugged, "Life isn't fair."
"Sam...", Dean's voice held a warning note.
Sam sighed, "I'm fine. I was hurt. I am hurt, but I understand where he's coming from."
"Yeah, but we know how that ends. He doesn't get. Just because he's an angel, he thinks he's got things under control. Demons are slick, we all know that and I'm telling you it's a matter of time before Cas will find himself burned. Either literally or figuratively."
"Did you really mean to break the friendship?" Sam asked after a moment of silence.
Dean sighed, "I'm pissed, we all know that."
Sam and Bobby gave murmurs of agreements.
"Right now, I don't want to see him. Don't want him around. If he's going to be a dick like Uriel or Zacky, then I don't want to hear about it."
"But if he finds out and realizes it's the wrong path…..like I did….." Sam stated slowly, "would you…..reconsider?" He hated for Castiel to make a mistake and not be able to redeem himself like he did. He knew what it was like to be on that path. It made him empathic."
Dean looked at Sam his eyes questioning, so Sam continued, "It's just…I did wrong and I know that I didn't know it was wrong but it was still wrong. And I was sorry after the fact but it was too late. And for a long time, I thought I had messed everything up. I thought I doomed the world, I thought I lost you, thought I'd lost Bobby. Thought I'd lost everything, you know?" Here he paused and looked out in front of him unseeing, "I really thought, I wouldn't be able to come back from that. After everything and it was a really heavy burden to bear. But you know what helped. What helps now?"
Here he looked at Dean then glanced at Bobby to include him.
"What?" Dean asked listening intently.
Sam didn't answer right away, "It really helped to know that after a long process you accepted me back. That helps and it means...it means the world to me. That's why I'm trying my best not to go down that road. I will not make the same mistake twice."
Here Dean smiled lightly and Bobby lowered his head with his own smile.
"I'm just saying that I'd understand what Cas must be going through." said Sam, "And….and…and maybe it would help him to know he hasn't….completely lost us. Hasn't completely lost, everything. You know? I mean, he's sorta a part of the family, and I messed up…..and I still managed to re-find that place again. Maybe after all this goes down, if possible he can re-find his place. He's a little lost right now, I think. Desperate. And I get that. That's why I'm not ready to just toss him overboard and I hope after everything, you'd give some serious thought before doing so."
Bobby was interested in Dean's response as it was awhile before Dean spoke.
"I hear you. I do." Dean nodded, "And you're right. You're absolutely right but it's a little different. It's the small things, the different variables that play into this. But I'm telling you right now…if either of you get hurt behind, whatever the heck Cas is doing, all bets are off, and I will kill him. Make no mistake."
Both Bobby and Sam knew that was the absolute truth.
"It depend on what happens now. What happens later. We'll see, but right now, if I see him again, I can't promise I won't take another swing at best and an angel knife to his chest at worst." Dean looked at Bobby and asked, "Do we have another one?"
"I'd have to check my storage. I can't remember right now." Bobby answered.
Dean nodded, "Get back to me on that."
Bobby nodded.
"I'm not ready to completely condemn him, but we'll see how it goes. Because there are certain lines if he crosses he's a dead angel." Dean hissed.
And both Sam and Bobby knew he meant that. The three of them sat there for the longest, as the sun began to dip for the day. They all wondered if indeed Castiel knew what he was doing.
But all had a bad feeling behind this.
Troubled little angel
Inconsistent, flying blind most of the time
Drama queen
Preening and untangling
The feathers in her wings
Captured by her dreams
Desperately she sings...
Castiel stumbled a little as he appeared in an empty park. He set down heavily on a bench. All was silence, not even birds were singing.
It was an ominous kind of silence as he got lost in his thoughts as he touched his sore jaw that he hadn't bothered to heal yet. He knew that when Dean said he wished he could hit him and not hurt his hand, he knew that he could give him that. And when Dean did swing and knock him down, he knew that Dean was surprised.
Simply because he told the truth.
He knew that Dean had read and tried to analyze him and he allowed it. He hoped that Dean saw something still positive about him. Cause even Castiel was beginning not to see anything. That confrontation took much out of him.
Castiel shook his head as he began blinking rapidly. He reached up confused as his vessel's eyes were a little cloudy. He couldn't believe what had happened. He wanted them to understand, why didn't they understand?
"That's cause, you haven't given us a chance to understand."
"And believe me, we want to understand, we are just having a hard time, right now."
As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had to. The brothers were right. He didn't give them a chance to understand, because he knew that they wouldn't understand. How could they? It was so much bigger than them.
'Oh, and the apocalypse wasn't?' A niggling voice at the back of his head bugged him.
"But this is different", he murmured to himself, willing himself to believe it. It was hard for him to believe it now.
He really did consider all three of them family and he hoped and prayed that when this was over he could salvage whatever was left, though Dean seemed pretty adamant about him, "losing their number".
"Am…I doing the right thing?" he asked out loud looking around and at the sky. "You haven't been in heaven for while. I haven't heard anything from you. So tell me, please…..am I doing the right thing. Am I on the right path?" He swallowed ever searching for a sign, "Give me….." his voice broke and he sucked in a breath.
It was a moment before he could continue again, "Give me…a sign. Any sign. One. Just one. Just to know that I'm doing the right thing or not. Please."
He closed his eyes and opened them again, "I'm afraid of what I'm becoming."He remembered the words he so carelessly threw back in Sam's face. He saw the hurt in Sam's eyes. He felt the rage of Dean's and shock and anger in Bobby's. He knew not to mess with Dean's brother. He knew that. That was a surefire was to get him into trouble.
Yet he did.
Why?
Troubled little angel
Inconsistent flying blind most of the time
Don't know who to be
Always rearranging the wreckage of her life
Ever holding tight
To the hope that she'll be free...
It was like he wasn't himself. Like he was willing to use Sam as a deflector if need be. He had long since gotten over what Sam had done. He bore no grudge against Sam and eventually came to consider him a friend. Sam was a good person, at heart. He just made some bad choices.
Could the same be said of him?
When, once he could have reassured himself, now he wasn't so sure. He remembered Zachariah or Uriel, and how they put the Winchesters down. How they didn't care about hurting them.
Well, he did.
He didn't want to hurt them.
Not intentionally anyway.
Was he becoming like his deceased brothers?
He didn't want that.
"Please, Father, if it's wrong, send me a sign, anything. Just something. I just want to do what's right. I want to win this war, because if I don't then everybody suffers and not just in heaven. But am I doing the right thing? Please, if I'm not, send a sign. Stop me!" He begged.
His eyes scanned the rapidly darkening sky, that was slowly becoming twilight, no visible sign coming to him. He lowered his glaze to look unseeingly out at the playground.
"...Please?"
And a lone tear from his vessel's eye dropped down his cheek as he closed his eyes.
Angel...Angel
One day you'll be free
One day you'll open your wings
One day you'll fly...
Fin.
A.N: Waa, my poor Castiel. This may be a little OOC with him, but this is what came out as I was writing this. I tried to place seeds of hope in this, as I think there are seeds of hope even in the show and previews so we'll see.
And please, do yourself a favor and listen to the song with Castiel's scene. I think the song mood helps if nothing else and if you switch out the woman's pov in the song to a man's...it kinda fits in a way.
Some thoughts: I LOVED the last episode. It was awesome and so many twists I did not see coming. I don't think Cas is evil, by far, but he is doing shady things because he's trying to win this war. I don't hate him, but he's been worrying/scaring me all season and it's putting a damper on liking him like I should. I really hope he redeems himself but seems next episode a lot will come out (and too me there look like there are seeds of hope as well). I'm looking forward to it.
So, thanks for reading!
Hope you enjoyed!
Til next time!