Mother's Memories

by Illusional Paragon

A Story about Rei who has to go to her mother's Grave. With the help of Usagi, Yui is able to bring her there. And Finally Rei remembers a small vision of her mother.

Rei leaned up against the back wall that supported the main room for the Hikawa shrine. It was spring and the Cherry Blossoms were in full bloom. She smiled brightly as she walked up to them, plucking a few from a branch and delicately holding them in her hands. ÒTheyÕre so beautiful,Ó she spoke to the flowers alone. She wasnÕt dressed up in her normal Shinto attire this day. And the bright fire in her eyes was dulled and serene. ÒMother.. always loved the blossoms..Ó This time, ReiÕs voice strained to a terrible tone. The muscles in her neck tightening up. ÒIn the spring time,Ó with that the fiery priestess crumpled to the soft green earth. Her black dress clinging onto the new movement in the curves of her body. Her mother had died when she was very young. No more than 3 years old and she was sent off to the Hikawa Jinja Shrine to live with her grandfather. All because of the fact that her own father was too busy in politics to actually care for her. So all the things that Rei was ever told about her mother came from grandpa hino. Though he knew her for such a short time, ReiÕs father would never stop talking about her. Until -of course- when she died. ReiÕs left hand, free of the delicate blossoms, clenched onto the soft grass. Her teeth forced together as tightly as she held onto the grass. While her lilac eyes fought back the tears that wanted to wash free of their cramped position. ÒWhy. Every year, why do I think of her. I barely knew her. I barely know her. All the things I know I learned..Ó her left hand shut around the blossoms, squeezing them so hard that her hand shook with anger. So hard that if a flower could give juice, it would be gushing out the crevices of her fingers. ÒI learned it from grandpa!Ó she threw the blossoms away towards the tree. Letting her hands hold onto her face as she sobbed endlessly. ÒNot even my own father could tell me about her..Ó she spoke between gasps of air. Yuichirou looked on from the corner of the small complex. His eyes saddend. ÒRei-ko..Ó he spoke softly. Earlier he had heard grandpa Hino talk to Rei in the prayer room about the day. Later that night the plan was her father was to pick her up and take her to the gravestone of her mother. But he had called ahead and said that he couldnÕt make it. The man let out a long sigh. Instead, her grandpa was supposed to take her. But he had very pressing affairs. Yuichirou rolled his eyes at the thought of grandpa hino performing an excorcism on a rose bush. ::Of all the Naive concepts:: So it had come down to Yui to take her. The problem was, he hated to see Rei cry. The whole time working at the shrine had made him even more determined too see that he did everything possible to make Rei happy. Dressed up in black pants and a grey long sleeved shirt, he walked up to Rei. His brown eyes saddened, even hurt at seeing her like the way she was. ÒRei?Ó he spoke in a soft, warm tone and placed his hand on her slumped shoulder. But she shuddered away. ÒLeave me alone!Ó she gasped out between the sobs that were now rushing past her hands and onto her black dress. Rei knew all to well what Yui was going to say. And all too afraid to hear it. It was hard enough having to see her motherÕs grave with her own family. This year it seemed they had all abandonned her. Yui shyed back from ReiÕs sudden outburst. Just staying silent. ÒPlease Rei,Ó he urged through his own voice. ::Stop crying. I hate to see you cry..:: ÒI already know.Ó Rei looked up from her hands, taking in deep shallow breaths. By now, her lilac eyes were red around the iris and her face had flushed itÕs color. her eyelashes clumped together, and her throat still had the constant tight hold around the vocal box. ÒGrandpa is busy. Just like Father was. So now they want you to take me.Ó Rei stopped for a little bit. Trying her best to gulp down the large lump in her throat she stood up. Ignoring YuiÕs offer to help the unstable preistess up she finished her schpeil. ÒAnd I donÕt care.Ó she spoke now, with an un-nerving cold about her words. ÒIf they have no time to see my motherÕs grave.. Then neither do I. There are better things out there to do. Than to just visit some blasted piece of marble rock!Ó she kept her back to Yui, and with out another word stomped off into her own room. Yui just watched on, obviously frustrated himself by the whole matter. ÒSheÕs not going to listen to me..Ó he doubtfully spoke to the ground. Then glanced over at the crumpled cherry blossoms. Feeling a small, sharp pain in his own heart, he walked up to them and went down on one knee. Picking them up he looked over at where Rei had stomped off to. ÒMaybe one of her friends. That odangoed girl perhaps could talk her into going.Ó Standing up, Yui attempted to brush some of his long hair out of his eyes. Of course it was to no avail. ÒShe just doesnÕt realize, how important is it to go..Ó With that, Yui turned and calmly walked into his own quarters. From there he set the flowers down on his nightstand and sat on the bed. After a while of calming himself down, and figuring out exactly what he wanted to say, he stood up and walked out. As stealth as a white mouse, Yui crept into the main hall, and over to the phone. His hands shaking, he opened up the phone book and started to page through the numbers that either Rei or grandpa Hino had written down for one important occassion or another. He shook off the feeling that he was being watched and continued to thumb through. ::ItÕs ridiculous. She wouldnÕt be watching me..:: But once he thought it, Yui believed it was true. So he stopped and turned around just in time to hear a small yelp and the door slide a little. A sweatdrop appeared on his head and he cursed softly to himself. One of the main rules at the shrine was no swearing. Well, at least while grandpa Hino was around. Yui remembered the first time he did, not able to stop his hand rubbing his head where the past strike was. Recollecting his thoughts out of memory lane, Yui headed into his own room with the phone book. After a while he came to a page where little hearts and rabbits were drawn on it. The man crinkled his nose while he looked at the writing, having a hard time doing that in the first place. ÒI think it says Ukino Tsukiji? No, that sounds way to weird.Ó Squinting his eyes, Yui looked closer at the writing. ÒMan, this isnÕt grandpa HinoÕs, OR ReiÕs writing at all. Whoever did this should really brush up on it...Ó he commented to himself, a smirk coming across his face as he remembered the note he had left Rei. His peminship was no better than the person who had written the number down in the book. ::Poor Rei-ko.:: Yui thought to himself. ::She yelled and yelled at me. And when I finally told her what it said, she turned red and just stopped yelling. And actually appologized!:: After af few more moment, Yui was able to actually read the name. ÒTsukino Usagi. Yep, I think thatÕs the girlÕs name.Ó With that, he reached over and grabbed his phone. Dialing up the number he waited patiently. A few rings, and the phone was answered by an older sounding women. ÒMoshi Moshi?Ó ÒKonichi ha. Is Usagi there, please?Ó Yui sounded nervous, trying desperatly to remember what he was supposed to ask Usagi again. ÒOh! Yes, one moment,Ó the woman said cheerfully, and a muffled call was heard. Moments later the phone was picked up on the other end again. ÒHello?Ó a happy, and uplifting voice spoke. ÒWhoÕs this?Ó ÒUsagi? ItÕs Yuichirou. You know I work at the Hikawa shrine with Rei? Well, thereÕs something going on. And I donÕt know how to.. how to help her. Do you think you could?Ó There was a stressful pause on the other end. Finally, Usagi spoke. ÒWhatÕs the problem Yuichirou?Ó Rei sat on her bed. Tear wanted to come out so much, but she refused to let them. Her hands clung onto her dress even more. ::Why couldnÕt I have at least gotten to know you mother..?:: She squinted her dark lilac eyes, trying not to let a frown appear on her face. Taking in a deep gulp, she failed at calming herself down. Rei knew that the first word to come out of her mouth, would cause a stream of tears as well. She had kept all the lights off in her room. For some odd reason, Rei felt safer like that. She laid up against the wall in her room while still on her bed. Looking out on the table, and the stereo. She had a good life at the Hikawa Jinja shrine, but still envied Ami, Usagi, Makato. She envied anyone who had a mother. ::I just want to be able to remember something..:: ÒJust something!Ó she found herself cry out. And that was the end of it, sobs upon sobs flew from her mouth as she cried again. Òjust...s..something..Ó Rei squeaked out, subduing her cries. The last thing she wanted was Yui to see her the way she was. Her heart hurt as she though of Yui. ::He is trying to help. But he just doesnÕt understand. No one does..:: She held onto her ankle even tighter now. The knees on her dress were wet from the ocean tears. Rei wasnÕt upset with her mother, or her father, or grandpa Hino, or Yui. She was upset with herself. Whenever this time of the year came around, she would try her best to remember her mother. But she couldnÕt, with all her strength she couldnÕt at all. It was as if a mental block was one her brain from her early childhood. Usagi waited patiently at the door. Biting her lip, she knocked again. Finally, YuiÕs silhouette could be seen. She sighed in relief, her blue eyes seemed worried far more than ever. ÒRei, I know IÕll help you the best I can but..Ó She stopped the talk Usagi was carrying on with herself as Yui opened up the door. He seemed tired, and distraught. But still he smiled when the temple helper laid his brown eyes onto Usagi. ÒOh Thank the gods!Ó he said, moving aside and letting Usagi walk in. He cleared his throat, before he spoke again. ÒA little bit ago, I suddenly heard Rei cry out. I. I couldnÕt understand completely what she said but then I think I heard her,Ó his hand tightened into a fist, ÒI think I heard her crying.Ó he stopped, fighting a lump in his own throat. Quickly he spoke again. ÒI didnÕt know what to do!Ó his voice was strained and panicky all of the sudden. ÒI want to help her.. I want to..Ó he looked away, though his thoughts were initially on not cry, he let a few tears trickle down. ÒHold her and tell her everything's alright.Ó He knew that it was safe to tell Usagi. She had known how he felt for Rei ever since the day he met her. Usagi held out her hand and placed it on YuichirouÕs tight fist. ÒBut you donÕt know what to say, or how to say it.. right?Ó Yui nodded a little and let out a sigh. ÒExactly,Ó he squeaked out in his low voice. Usagi nodded and then smiled in a melancholy way. ÒDonÕt worry, IÕll help Rei as much as I can. You just be sure she sees her motherÕs grave. And be for her then.Ó With that, she walked over to ReiÕs room. Knocking on the frame of the door she could faintly here a muffled comment. Rei heard the door knock and she curse to herself. ÒGo away, Yui. Get back to your..your chores or something. Ò But the voice that came back wasnÕt YuiÕs. It wasnÕt even a manÕs voice. ÒItÕs mean, Usagi. Can I come in, Rei?Ó Taking, and then letting out a staggered sigh Rei said, ÒPlease.. do.Ó Usagi opened up the door, and then closed it behind her. Glancing around the room, the princess of the moon kingdom saw it completely dark. Then she looked back at Rei. ÒYuichirou called me. HeÕs worried about you.Ó With that she walked up and sat next to Rei on the bed. ÒPlease Rei. You know you have to talk to someone. At least donÕt shut me out.Ó The shinto priestess raised her head, and looked over at Usagi. ÒI donÕt even remember her,Ó her voice was strained to the maximum. It didnÕt even sound like the normal Rei that Usagi had grown to care for so much. ÒI just want to remember her!Ó Without any other word, Rei flung her arms around Usagi and cried into he girlÕs shoulder. Slightly alarmed at the turn of events, Usagi just rested her hand on ReiÕs long black hair. The Odangoed fight of the moon did her best to console. ÒThen tell me.. what you know.Ó her voice came out in a motherly tone, as she listened the best she to could Rei. The sobs here and there struck at UsagiÕs own strings. Yuichirou waited, and then waited some more. He could hear cried ever now and then. After that a voice as caring as can be soothing the crying girl. He leaned up again the wall, and slumped down slowly. Putting his face in his own hands, he held back his own tears. ÒRei.. I just want to make you happy always. I want to see you smile all the time. Your smile..itÕs so,Ó but he cut off, the lump in his throat appearing again. ÒI want to help you, but I donÕt know how.Ó By now, Yui was literally shaking from the build-up of his own emotions. Usagi finally walked out of ReiÕs room and called back. ÒHurry up, Rei! The sun wonÕt be up much longer!Ó she called out. Glancing over at the crumpled mess that Yuichirou now was, she sighed. Placing a hand on his head she smiled. ÒNow, you better not be catching a fever or something, Yui!Ó she claimed in a cheerful-like manor. Though her face showed the wear and tare of earlier, her voice was still as perky as can be. ÒRei wants to see her motherÕs gravestone.Ó Yui looked up at Usagi. His own face seemed tired and gloomed. ÒSheÕs decided to?Ó Usagi nodded her head cheerfully. ÒYup! Now come on!Ó she bent down and pulled the man up. Smoothing out his shirt she clamped his shoulder. ÒNow remember, Yuichirou!Ó her blue eyes gazed up into his. ÒSheÕs counting on you. Be there for her.Ó With a nod, Yui gave a small smile. ÒThank you, Usagi. YouÕre a life saver, kind of like those Sailor Senshi people!Ó With a small smiled back, Usagi nodded her head. Then turned around and started to walk off. ÒYouÕd be amazed, Yui. YouÕd be amazed,Ó she said under her breath. Rei wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and headed over to her coat. She grabbed the black leather, and looked at the detailed red fire that was on the back of it. Smiling a little, the fiery senshi remembered when she got it from Grandpa Hino, and Yuichirou. Putting it on, Rei flipped some of her hair and walked out of the room. Her dark lilac eyes, now slightly red, looked at Yuichirou. He was leaning up against the wall. One foot against it for support. While his head was bowed down. Clearing her throat a little, Rei held her head up high. ÒYui? Are you ready to go?Ó she was trying to sound strong, just like Usagi had told her to. But found it far more difficult than she thought. Yui nodded his head and pushed away from the wall. ÒHai,Ó he held out his hand to Rei hoping that she would take it. The girl looked at the manÕs hand and almost turned away. ::No.. not anymore.:: she gently placed her hand in YuiÕs and felt his clasp around her. Without another word, she felt YuiÕs warmth up against her. Squinting her eyes she refused to cry again. She could feel his heart beat, and feel him speak. ÒIÕm sorry I couldnÕt help you myself Rei.. IÕm just happy Usagi was able to..Ó he reluctantly pushed away from her a little. Looking down into her lilac eyes. Rei bit her lip, then looked away. ÒIÕm sorry for being so rude to you Yui,Ó she paused and closed her eyes tight. Then looked up at him once more. ÒCould we go now? I want to see my.. my motherÕs grave before it gets dark.Ó Yuichirou nodded his head. ÒLetÕs go then..Ó The bus ride there Rei kept silent, as if she was collecting her thoughts once by one. ÔYou have to understand, Rei. You may not be able to remember your mother, but sheÕs still a part of you. SheÕll ALWAYS be a part of you! And if you donÕt see her own grave. If you donÕt pay your own respects to her, then youÕre hurting the part of her thatÕs inside you. DonÕt let that part die Rei. DonÕt eve let any of the beauty inside you die just because youÕre afraid!Õ Usagi had been right. Rei was afraid. In fact, she was completely terrified. ::Usagi, how is it you can be such a ditz.. but still, you turn out to be just so.. so wise?:: Rei looked up out at the racing car that passed them by. Soon after, the bus stopped and Yui stood up, holding his hand out to Rei yet again. ÒRei-ko,Ó he let slip out. ÒI.. uh.. ItÕs time to go.Ó Looking up, Rei seemed to have ignored the adoring adage to her name. Nodding, the fiery beauty stood up, and took YuiÕs hand. She felt her heart start to beat harder and faster. But she knew it wasnÕt because of Yuichirou. It was the fact that she was going to see her motherÕs grave again. And there, she know that she will have to cry one last time. The long walk was just as quiet at the bus ride. By now though, the sun was setting slowly, which set a copper and gold lining around the trees and other graves. Rei found her hands grasping onto each other so tight that her knuckles were white. Yui looked at Rei again, and put an arm around her shoulders. Pulling her a little closer in some sort of comforting way. He wanted to help her out as much as he could. But still wasnÕt sure how to. Glancing at all the names on the tombs, he finally noticed a Hino. He stopped, which caused Rei to stop as well. ÒIs this is, Rei?Ó he asked in a small voice. Rei nodded her head. ÒThis is it.Ó she took a few steps to the side and forward. Going down on one knee she placed her cold, clammy hand on the chunk of marble. ÒMother..Ó she began to speak. Then she bowed her head, as if mumbling to herself. ::Mother.. ItÕs me you little girl, Rei. I miss you mother:: She could feel her other hand tightening into a fist. ÒI wish I could at least remember something about you. Just something.:: Rei squinted her eyes as a few tears squeaked by. ::I wish father could tell me things.. and not just grandpa. I wish you were here with me. I wish..:: But Rei stopped her thoughts, finding herself letting out soft sobs. YuiÕs warmth against her body again almost calmed her down. Taking in deep breaths she looked up, seeing Yui holding onto her. ÒJust cry Rei.. ItÕs not wrong to cry..Ó he smiled the best he could. His courage was down to a minimum by now. ReiÕs head turn and buried itself into YuiÕs chest as she cried a little more. ÒI know..I know..Ó as much as Rei hated this, she couldnÕt stop it. She hated showing how weak she actually is to Yui. She hated to let him see her break down so badly. Rei always wanted to show the people she cared for the most how strong she could be. ÒThen accept..Ó he looked over at the gravestone, then back at her. ÒYouÕre just showing how much stronger you are Rei..Ó he felt his muscles tense up a little. ÒYouÕre showing that you arenÕt afraid to show your emotions..Ó Yui looked down at Rei and smiled softly. His eyes started to form crystalline tears in them. Rei looked up at Yui, slightly shocked at the comment he just stated. As much as she wished it to be false, deep down she knew that it was actually true. ÒYuichirou..Ó she spoke, a soft wind caught up her words and Rei stopped. She turned around and looked down at the tombstone. her train of thought had gone somewhere else completely. Yui held onto Rei, refusing to let her go at all. For a long paused, he finally broke in. ÒWhat is it Rei?Ó A small smile came across her face, as she wiped away the few remaining tears. ÒI remember something..Ó ÒWhat do you remember, Rei?Ó Rei just laughed a little, looking at the grave. ÒWhen I was very little, my mother would sometimes take my hand in the parks, and point out all of the flowers. She said..Ó Rei stopped a little bit, letting a few tears fall down her cheeks again. Ò ÔMy little Dear, you are as beautiful as a flower, as a rose, as a blossom. And as smart as the fire that flickers in the night. You are my Cherry Blossom, because I hold you dear to my heart..ÕÓ Rei put her hand over her own heart and smiled, only to find YuiÕs hands there as well. ÒAnd then she would take a Cherry Blossom off the tree and put it in my hair..Ó Yui smiled, he could feel ReiÕs attitude lift a little. ÒIt sounds like she loved you very much.Ó Rei nodded her head, ÒShe did.. I donÕt know why, but I never wanted to realize it before. I wanted to deny it. I wanted to blame her for leaving me so quickly, but I wanted to still blame me. Some how think it was actually my fault.Ó Rei stopped, feeling Yui hold onto her even more. ÒBut it never was Rei. Things happen, and the best a person can do is go on with their life.Ó Yui spoke back in a soothing tone. From a far, Usagi watched on and smiled. The wind caught her odangoes and played with them in the hair. ÒThat a boy Yui.. Just as she shows you how weak she can be. Show her that you can be strong enough to support her..Ó With that, Usagi turned and headed home. The sun set past the small hill of the graves. Rei and Yui starred at Mrs. HinoÕs grave for a long time. Before they left, Yui handed Rei a few cherry blossoms and put them in her hair. ÒRei, you are as beautiful as the Cherry blossoms..Ó Rei looked up at Yuichirou and then pulled the blossoms out of her hair. She smiled and turned. Setting the blossoms on the top of her motherÕs grave. ÒAnd this blossom will always remember..Ó she said softly and the turned to walk with Yui down the hill, and back to the bus stop. ::IÕll love you always mama..:: Rei thought as last, just as the stars started to twinkle in the sky.End