This story is formally known as "Why Me".
Bijoux: I posted this story about eight years ago now, and I've been meaning to re-write it for a while. Finally got around to it! A lot more content has been added and because of that I've decided to split this story into two chapters for easy reading. Hopefully everyone enjoys :)
As a side note, my brand of humour revolves around exaggerating personality traits, so some characters might seem OOC.
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi and Toei Animation. Any other copyrighted material/references belong to their rightful owners.
Yu-Glue-Oh
Chapter One: The Invasion
Even the mere smell of Yugi Moto had begun to drive Kaiba mad these days. Each and every morning, for the past three weeks, his stench had been the first thing to permeate Kaiba's nostrils. And then would come the giggling from somewhere downstairs; that adorable, girlish, innocent giggle – how Kaiba loathed it. Kaiba's final sense to be aggravated by said Yugi, was his vision. Yugi would barge into his room, somehow knowing that Kaiba was awake, a generous serving of breakfast served on a tray in his hands, a huge grin on his face. Kaiba would shuffle back to the head-post of his bed, pull his bed sheet up to his nose and demand that Yugi stay back, but the tiny Duellist would never heed his threats. He'd chuckle innocently and place the breakfast, made with love and sprinkled with joy, on Kaiba's lap. Yugi would then take his leave, giggling joyfully to himself all the way out.
Kaiba would be left alone with that breakfast, eyeing it as though it was contaminated. And to Kaiba, it probably was. Yugi had made it after all, and he'd made it with love and affection. Yugi, love and affection; Kaiba's three most despised things all rolled into one steaming omelette. Kaiba shuddered, chancing to pick his plate up and carry it across the room, where it was unceremoniously hurled out the window, destined to land on some poor, unsuspecting mailman.
Thoughts of bitter disposition wafted through Kaiba's mind. Didn't Yugi have somewhere else to destroy? Why did he have to come here of all places, Seto Kaiba's personal manor, and parade around his notions of love and joy and kindness. The thought alone made Kaiba retch and he stumbled into the bathroom, heaving dramatically.
"What's happening to my house?" he rasped, quaking as he stared at his own reflection distrustfully. "How did you let this happen?" he demanded in a raspy voice, "Why was that disgusting thing allowed to infiltrate into my once beautiful manor?"
Needless to say, Kaiba wasn't truly expecting an answer. Regardless, he received one.
"Oh, you mean the bust I had carved of you, Seto?" a meagre, cheerful voice came from behind Kaiba. Kaiba spun around, his face sweaty, and his eyes wide enough to display windows to his instability. Yugi was crouching, old toothbrush in hand, scrubbing Kaiba's toilet. "Don't worry, I'll have it moved if you don't like it," Yugi beamed, continuing with his cleaning work as he spoke. Kaiba's wide eyes darted from Yugi, to the toilet, to the toothbrush, then back to Yugi. He found himself gripping the sides of the sink behind him, trying to keep himself standing.
"You…you've taken it too far!" Kaiba wailed. He turned back to the doorway and fled for his life. The delusional Seto coincided with Mokuba outside in the hallway.
"Oh, hey Seto, what are you doing?" Mokuba asked merrily, but his question went unanswered. Instead he was grabbed by his front and pulled forcefully into the nearby broom cupboard. When Mokuba realized where he was he sighed in annoyance, "Oh, not this again!"
"Keep your voice down, you fool! He'll know we're here!" Kaiba hissed warningly. Just in that instant, the broom cupboard door swung open and an unsurprised Yugi merrily greeted Seto and Mokuba.
"Just thought I'd do a bit of sweeping. Clean out that bathroom floor of yours, Seto," he said cheerfully, reaching for the broom. He took it and then left, closing the door politely upon his departure. Silence lingered in the broom closet, before Seto turned his gaze back to Mokuba.
"It was three Saturdays ago, Mokuba. Why is that little freak still here? Why did he come here in the first place?" Kaiba demanded through gritted teeth.
"Oh come on Seto, Yugi isn't that bad. He likes us," Mokuba rolled his eyes, pushing the vacuum cleaner's handle out of his side, so it was in Kaiba's personal space instead.
"Oh, oh I get it. I get it perfectly fine here! You think I'm over-exaggerating here, blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Making this out to be the apocalypse when really it's nothing to be feared!" Kaiba scoffed crazily, forcing the vacuum back into Mokuba's direction.
"Well…yeah," Mokuba bluntly admitted. "I mean, you're really taking this too far Seto. Just look at these war plans of yours! They're crazy!" Mokuba said, pointing with his thumb to a piece of white card that had been nailed to the broom closet door. The card depicted a bleak, potential future, in which Yugi was run over by a large Kaiba Corp tank. Flow-chart arrows then directed the beholders eyes too a shoddy drawing of a box with 'glue factory' written on it.
Kaiba's head swivelled to the door and his plans. He surveyed them with his wide eyes, trying to find a flaw, but to him, there was nothing at all wrong with his diagram of Yugi's destruction. Mokuba was being pretentious; everyone knew he would be the one out of the two brothers laughing the loudest in joy when he was fixing his broken toys with 'Yu-Glue'. Kaiba turned back to Mokuba, his eyes browsing over the boy's face suspiciously.
"What's wrong with Yu-Glue-Oh?" Kaiba glowered. Mokuba raised an eyebrow, folding his arms and dropping his weight onto one hip.
"You have to ask?" he questioned, unimpressed. Kaiba analysed the question, knowing he had to answer right in order to regain Mokuba's allegiance.
"Yes?" Kaiba drawled out, more of a question itself, rather than an answer. Mokuba replied with an annoyed sigh, rolled his eyes, and then moved past Kaiba and out of the broom cupboard. Kaiba was left alone. He heard in the hallway noises of Yugi and Mokuba conversing. That brat; he was giving away his strategy-plan to the enemy. Kaiba crooked the broom closet door open the tiniest bit and stared through the slither of space he'd made, with one large, paranoid eye.
"Hey Yugi, let's go to the movies," Mokuba was saying.
"Okay, sure," Yugi replied chirpily. "Let's ask Seto if he wants to come too," he added thoughtfully.
"Nah, I don't think Seto wants to come. He's in one of his moods. Let's just ditch him, Yugi," Mokuba responded spitefully.
"Oh Mokuba, you should never treat someone badly based on their outward behaviour. I'm sure Seto is beautiful deep down," Yugi offered defensively. Kaiba retched again.
"How dare you tell my own brother not to judge me!" he wailed angrily. He lacked the valour to come out of the broom cupboard and yell his displeasure at Yugi, so his wail went ignored.
Instead of a response, Kaiba heard Mokuba and Yugi giggling happily, trying to decide what movie to go see. He heard the two of them exchanging traitorous opinions backwards and forwards as they began to walk downstairs. Their voices soon became too distant for Kaiba to hear and he didn't stir from the broom closet until he was certain the two of them were gone.
He knew for sure when they were gone. As Yugi lacked a driver's license (and also the leg length to even drive a car), for the past couple of days he'd been using Solomon's mower as his form of transport. The loud mower engine started outside and disappeared into the distance half an hour later (what with how slow a mower travels and how loud Solomon's old mower was).
Kaiba burst through the broom closest door as soon as the noise was gone; he reached a window in time to see Yugi and Mokuba disappearing over his horizon line. Quaking with rage, stricken with paranoia, poisoned by Yugi's attempted kindness, Kaiba could utter nothing but one name.
"Mokuba," he hissed the traitor's name.
In the meantime, Tea was having some trouble of her own, suffering a similar dilemma to Kaiba. There were uninvited guests in her home, handling her property and raiding through her kitchen. However, without a doubt, Duke, Tristan and Joey were far from Yugi's gentle mannerisms.
Joey had made himself comfortable on Tea's couch several days ago, and was currently developing a 'handsome' butt-groove in the cushions. He'd even been so 'talented' as to have created a moat of chips and biscuit crumbs around his groove to boot. Joey was the easy one to handle though, having settled himself like this. He knew what he wanted and what he wanted was as minimally destructive as Tea could've hoped for.
Duke and Tristan on the other hand, were less harmless in their conquest to raid Tea's house. Oh the contrary. Their main goal seemed to be to see how much of her stuff they could get their grubby hands on before they got bored and went to someone else's house instead.
Currently, they'd discovered Tea's pet turtle, Scuffles.
"Hey! Check out this green pie, Duke!" Tristan boomed, reaching into Scuffles' tank. He plucked the withdrawn turtle from its enclosure and began to inspect it, holding it high above his head.
"Hey, that's not a pie, Tristan!" Duke retorted, storming over to Tristan where he yanked the turtle from his grasp. "Everyone in this entire room knows that this is a compacted lettuce!" he argued proudly.
"Na-ah, Duke! It's a pie," Tristan declared, yanking Scuffles out of Duke's hold.
"No way, Tristan! It's a compacted lettuce," Duke sighed irritably, yanking Scuffles back.
"Look, I think I know a green pie when I see one, Duke. You never eat lettuce, especially not in its original form. What would you know?" Tristan barked, pushing Duke in the shoulder and taking Scuffles into his own possession once more.
"Duh! I know what a lettuce looks like! Whoever heard of a green pie? Why would a pie be green?" Duke protested, prodding Tristan in the chest with a jagged finger, grabbing Scuffles in his other hand at the same time.
"Well why would a lettuce be compacted?" Tristan asked, taking a step towards Duke and yanking the turtle back.
"Duh, to keep the bugs out, stupid!" Duke retorted, as though it was the most obvious thing. He went to grab the turtle back, but Tristan had taken keen offence to being called stupid and held it above his head so Duke couldn't reach it. With his spare hand he pushed Duke away.
"You're stupid!" Tristan yelled.
"No way!" Duke growled, leaping forwards where he jumped up, managing to snag the turtle within his hold, but Tristan would not take his own hand off of Scuffles. The two began to wrestle each other, trying to take the turtle back into their own possession.
It was not long before they were using both hands, pulling back and forth, trying to yank Scuffles out of the other's grasp. It was around now, that Tea stumbled into the lounge room and screamed upon seeing what Duke and Tristan had in their hold.
"Guys, put that down!" she yelled, rushing over. But Duke and Tristan merely saw her as another threat, and both began to stumble away from her, managing to barge their way into the nearby bathroom. "Joey! Do something!" she pleaded desperately in the direction of the couch.
"Not now…TV," Joey responded lazily. Tea clutched her head in horror, turning to see that Duke and Tristan had shuffled their tug-of-war match to hover ominously over the toilet. She screamed and rushed into the bathroom, watching in terror, unsure of how to intervene without causing either of the boys to drop Scuffles.
But before Tea had a chance to do anything more on the subject of saving Scuffles, Tristan had devised a cunning ploy in his head. As a young boy, Tristan had been smart. His parents had quirked their eyebrows at their young son, and wondered aloud why he'd suggested such a dumb summer camp. But Tristan had known, even back then as a small boy, that someday, someplace, somehow, 'Tug-A-War Camp' would be of use to him. That fabled camp, way back when, had taught Tristan a priceless manoeuvre. It was simple; he would pull the 'green pie' as close to himself as possible, then let go. The consequence would be epic; Duke, the pompous fool that he was, would buy into it. He would lose his footing and go hurtling backwards into Tea's bathtub, perhaps even break his butt on his landing. He'd be so stunned by Tristan's cunning ploy that he would lax hold on the 'green pie', allowing for Tristan to take it back into his hands. Oh yes, the plan was perfect; fool proof even. At least…that was what he thought. Tristan lacked an important piece of information that would surely throw a wrench into his works.
One summer, many years ago, Duke had gone to 'Tug-A-War Camp' as well. And Tug-A-War Camp had left a lasting effect on him too. So much was so, that Duke too, had devised the same scheme as Tristan. More poetic still, was the fact that the two boys attempted the manoeuvre at the exact same time.
The result was catastrophic, and through Tea's eyes it was projected in slow motion. Duke and Tristan gave a mighty pull backwards causing them both to lose their grip on Scuffles. The turtle flew into the air comically, spiralled a few times even more comically, then landed, especially comically, in the toilet with a splash. Tea screamed and Duke and Tristan instantly went into a panic. In their expansive time at being boys, they had learned a crucial fact of life: Girls hated things that fell into toilets. They'd also learnt that scooping things out of toilets with their bare hands also wasn't acceptable in the eyes of girls (or anyone really).
"Uh…uh…I'll go get a scoop!" Tristan yelled frantically, pushing past Tea and Duke and rushing from the bathroom.
"Gloves! Gloves! We need gloves!" Duke chanted, racing out the room as well.
"Oh my gosh! I hate you guys!" Tea screamed, storming out of the bathroom after Duke and Tristan, intent on making their lives momentarily harder.
During all the chaos, the running, the yelling, the cursing, the banging, the rummaging, most of which took place in the kitchen, Joey slid out of his butt-groove in the couch. He found himself in the bathroom a few steps later, faced with something large and green floating in the toilet.
'Ew,' he thought. A blank look on his face, he reached up and did the unthinkable; he hit the flusher.
The toilet filled ominously with water, the green object floated higher, then back down again with the water. The green thing remained. Joey grew confused. He scratched his head for a moment, then tried the flusher again. Still no avail. He tried several more times, the water tank on the back of the toilet growing weary. Joey remained caught in the act of repetitively flushing the toilet, eventually far more interested in doing this, rather than returning to watch the TV.
It had been a few hours since Mokuba and Yugi had gone out. Kaiba was seated in the kitchen, at the table, facing the doorway, with all the lights turned off and the blinds drawn over the windows. He'd been here ever since Mokuba and Yugi had left the manor earlier that day, depriving himself of food and drink even, intent on brooding angrily here until the 'traitor' returned home. And, with the opening of the front door, it was apparent that Kaiba would need to wait no longer. Truly, it was an ominous sight to behold, the shadowed outline of Seto sitting alone in the dark kitchen. But it did not seem to faze Yugi or Mokuba as they wandered into the kitchen, laughing cheerfully.
Mokuba flipped on the light switch, illuminating the kitchen and his brother in the process. "Oh, hey Seto," he said merrily.
Kaiba merely narrowed his eyes at Mokuba and said nothing. This didn't seem to faze Mokuba, or if it did he did not opt to show it. Yugi in the meantime moved across the kitchen, a big smile on his face (as usual) as he wandered towards the fridge. Mokuba set about in the cupboards behind Seto, apparently pulling out glasses.
"How was your day, Kaiba?" Yugi merrily asked, closing the fridge and moving to the table, a bottle of lemonade in hand. Kaiba glared at him for a moment, his eyes grazing over Yugi's dorky grin and wide, bright eyes. The vision of it repulsed Kaiba.
"It was good," Kaiba slowly declared, then a wicked smile came over his face, "Thanks to your disappearance that is," he added. Despite this comment obviously holding the intent to hurt Yugi's feelings, it failed to have this effect.
"Oh really? That's great," Yugi beamed, as though he hadn't actually heard or understood what Kaiba had said. Kaiba's face fell into disarray, and then morphed back into malice once more.
Much to his surprise (though he did not outwardly display it), Mokuba placed three glasses on the table. Kaiba's angry looking eyes darted up to Mokuba, then at the glass that had been placed before him. A moment later, Yugi had undone the top of the lemonade bottle and filled Kaiba's glass up all the way, before filling Mokuba's and his own glass too.
Yugi and Mokuba talked and laughed together, each sitting down on either side of Kaiba and reliving their movie adventure. Faithful to his paranoia, Kaiba really should've been listening to this recap, for reconnoitre purposes, but instead he was transfixed, staring down at his glass of lemonade.
Kaiba had realized how thirsty he was. His mouth was dry and even the droplets of condensation dribbling down the side of the glass looked appealing to him. He swallowed dryly, eyeing the glass desperately. It was his lemonade after all, served in his glass, at his table, in his manor. There was really nothing wrong with sculling it. Even with this thought in mind, whenever Kaiba reached up to grab the glass, visions of Yugi pouring it flashed through his head. His hand drew back instantly, and fisted itself so tightly that his nails dug into his palm. Neither Yugi nor Mokuba seemed to notice this behaviour, continuing on with their conversation, blissfully unaware.
Still unbeknownst to Yugi and Mokuba, Kaiba began to quake in his seat. Sweat formed on his forehead and seeped down the side of his face painfully slow. His breathing, despite remaining unheard, became erratic. He needed that lemonade, but he could not bear the thought of giving in to Yugi's sick generosity. He was torn in two, trying hard to fight a part of him that wanted to drink the lemonade. It came to the point where he felt about ready to scream, when suddenly the doorbell saved him.
"Thank God!" Kaiba yelled, before he could stop himself. He jumped to his feet at such a speed, that it caused the table to shake violently. Uncaring to the estranged stare he was receiving from Mokuba, Kaiba moved out of the kitchen at a speed walk, heading for the front door.
From Mokuba's point of view, back in the kitchen, it was all very strange. He'd heard the doorbell, yes, and then witnessed the instantaneous reaction from his brother. Seto had then rushed out of the kitchen, and a variety of bangs, crashes and thumps could be heard, alongside noises of some sort of grateful desperation. It was as though Seto was pushing things out of the way, mindlessly destroying his own property, on his way to the front door. Ordinarily, Mokuba would sooner believe that there was a deranged gorilla stampeding around their house, but accounting for Seto's recent behaviour, he was aware of the sad truth.
Something shattered down the hallway, probably an expensive vase, then something heavy toppled to the floor, followed by several more shatters. Mokuba turned to look at Yugi, who by now was furrowing his own brow with concern. Kaiba could be heard laughing rather insanely down the hallway, alongside the sounds of destruction, before finally he reached the door and his laughter ceased.
There was utter silence throughout the manor for a moment. Yugi and Mokuba continued to eye each other with concern, neither being game enough to go see what was going on. Yugi had opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly there was a voice down the hallway.
"Um…have you seen my mower? I think I saw it coming up your driveway a little while ago. I was going to come sooner, but I was too embarrassed," the voice chuckled nervously, Mokuba soon recognizing it to be Solomon's. A silence followed this query, but it only lasted twenty or so seconds.
Kaiba began to laugh again. It started off slow and not too loud, but then it began to escalate, until there was full-blown maniacal laughter erupting from the hallway. Mokuba turned in his seat to stare at the hallway warily, wishing he could see the front door from where he was sitting. As he was doing this, a second laugh joined Kaiba's. This second laugh was nowhere near being crazy; in fact it seemed quite genuine. It had a gentle sort of heartiness to it, as though someone had told an innocent joke.
Kaiba's laughter continued on, growing louder and louder, angrier and angrier by the second. Mokuba could hear him as he even began to pummel a fist into a wall. Solomon's laughter kept up with Kaiba's, also becoming louder and more enthusiastic, until finally, Kaiba's insane laughter seemed to hit its pinnacle, resulting in the door being abruptly slammed, probably in Solomon's face.
Kaiba came waltzing back into the kitchen a moment later, a look of victory on his villainous face. Mokuba and Yugi watched him sit back in his seat with blank looks on their faces. He sat in silence for a moment, but then the pride of his victory took over and he began to laugh again, the sound of it building up as it had done just moments ago. Mokuba and Yugi eyed each other awkwardly, before settling to try and join Kaiba, each holding a fear that their silence would attract attention to themselves. The two of them laughed nervously, weakly, alongside Kaiba, their eyes darting around the room somewhat fearfully.
Luckily this ordeal didn't last too long, as Kaiba soon ran out of breath. He beat his fist on the tabletop a few times, an insane look on his face as he breathlessly laughed. Apparently elated on his 'victory' against Solomon, Kaiba then mindlessly picked up his glass of lemonade and sipped it. It took him a moment to realize what he was doing, and his expression of 'happiness' dropped. His eyes suddenly bulged and his lips puckered as though he'd eaten something extremely sour. His left eye twitched a few times before, with over-enthusiasm, Kaiba spat the lemonade out. It sprayed out of his mouth, showering the table, the duration of which was far longer than the amount of lemonade he'd even drunk.
Kaiba then resolved to sit in silence for a moment, calculating his next move under the confused and perhaps sickened stares of a silenced Mokuba and Yugi. Kaiba eventually regained his glaring expression and turned to glower at Yugi. Kaiba's eyes looked him up and down a few times, before they settled on Yugi's eyes, boring into them.
"Something's not right here," Kaiba declared in a low growl. He turned his head stiffly back to his glass of lemonade, his eyes wildly scanning over it as though there was a super computer in his brain that was analysing the glass' contents. When his brain seemed to reach a plausible conclusion, Kaiba stiffly turned back to face Yugi. "You've spat in this," he accused in a monotone snarl.
Either Yugi thought Kaiba was joking, or he actually had spat in the lemonade, for he suddenly began to giggle. Mokuba seemed to know better and kept his mouth tightly shut, sending Yugi anxious glances in the hopes it would make him shut up. Alas, Yugi paid no special heed to these glances, and a moment later Kaiba had hurled himself to his feet, screaming and roaring abuse.
It was then that Yugi realized the error of his ways. He ceased giggling, and then screamed, and then he leapt from the table. Kaiba chased him from the kitchen and eventually out of Mokuba's earshot. The younger Kaiba brother pondered for a moment on what he should do, unsure he wanted to risk getting between Kaiba and Yugi. Mokuba liked Yugi, really, but he didn't like him enough to chance getting torn in two trying to defend him.
Nearly five minutes later, Kaiba marched back into the kitchen looking thoroughly satisfied. He waltzed to the table and took another sip of his lemonade. It then dawned on him that he'd consumed more 'Yugi-ade' and he slammed the glass on the table angrily.
"Oh god, Mokuba! How much longer were you going to let me drink this?!" he bellowed accusingly at his younger brother. Mokuba frowned at Seto, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Kaiba shook his head in disgust, then left the room muttering "the nerve of some people", all the while taking occasional sips from his glass.
Mokuba could only roll his eyes.
Tea, Tristan and Duke were dumbfounded. They stood in the bathroom, confusion slathered on their faces, as they gawked down at the toilet.
"Wh…where is Scuffles?" Tea asked, her voice shaking with worry.
"Yeah, and where'd the green pie go?" Tristan added stupidly.
"It was a compacted lettuce!" Duke grumbled defensively.
"Na-ah!" Tristan yelled back. The two boys began to argue again, but Tea was too caught up staring down at the toilet. Suddenly, horror swept over her. The tank at the back of the toilet, was it…refilling? Tea felt her blood run cold, realization and dread washing over her, but this feeling was soon replaced as she then became ragingly hot.
"You…IDIOTS!" she screeched, causing Duke and Tristan to stop arguing immediately. "Scuffles, MY Scuffles, is gone! Flushed! And it's all your fault!" she screamed, resisting the urge to smack the two of them across the face.
"What?" Tristan asked.
"What are you talking about, Tea?" Duke also asked.
"Someone flushed, now Scuffles is gone! And you two morons are going to go down to the sewers and bring him back to me!" Tea commanded, her voice unbearably loud and ear piercing. She pointed at the distant front door and screamed "now", beginning to slap and kick at Duke and Tristan when they did not compute with her demands fast enough.
"Aww come on, Tea, it'll be okay," Duke tried to comfort.
"Yeah, it was just a green pie after all," Tristan added.
This just infuriated Tea more and she thrust the front door open angrily, kicking Tristan up the backside to get him out with a vengeance. Duke sensed the same thing would befall him if he lingered at the doorway too long, and thus ran from the house squealing.
"And don't come back until you find him!" Tea bellowed finally, slamming the door ferociously afterwards. Duke and Tristan were left looking dumbfounded, both of them having fallen to their backsides on the lawn in front of Tea's house.
The two boys would've surely hung around longer, trying to fathom what it was they were to do next, but they were quickly reminded of their 'instructions' when a second story window of the house smashed, and a framed photo of Tea and Tristan exploded in glass and wood on the nearby road. Several more photos and other bits of 'friendship' memorabilia began hurtling out of the house, breaking up as they hit the hard ground below.
When a ceramic mug Tristan had made for Tea in pottery class narrowly missed Duke's head, the duo seemed to realize the urgency of the situation, and thus scurried to their feet. They hurriedly ambled around, somewhat brainlessly for a few minutes, before Duke noticed an iron gutter lid in the centre of the road. He pointed at it, yelling dramatically to Tristan while he ran over to it. Tristan soon joined him, and the two teens managed to lift the lid. The tunnel going down looked dark and was smelly. An incredibly ominous, murky pit laid waiting for the two boys several feet below. Duke and Tristan looked at each, their noses scrunched up.
"I'm not going down there," Duke declared.
"Me neither," Tristan protested.
"Well one of us has to go down," Duke pointed out.
"Well it won't be me," Tristan stated confidently.
"Oh yeah it will," Duke said with authority in his tone.
"Do I need to remind you which one of us is the bigger man, Duke?" Tristan asked threateningly.
"Well I think the bigger man should be less reluctant to go down there, Tristan," Duke mocked.
"No, I think the bigger man should kick your butt and make you go down there," Tristan hinted sardonically.
"Really? Well I'm astounded that you can think at all! And I'd like to see you try and make me go down there!" Duke barked.
"Oh yeah? Well maybe I will!" Tristan yelled, shoving Duke.
"I'm gonna kick your sorry butt!" Duke retorted, shoving Tristan back.
The duo then commenced in a round of fisty-cuffs, that was at its pinnacle when Duke tackled Tristan to the ground and the two of them began rolling around, grappling for dominance in the fight. They were rolling around all over the road, throwing uncoordinated punches and attempting to strangle parts of each other's bodies that didn't require air to begin with. There were suddenly cars going backwards and forwards along the once quiet street, car horns going off and abuse getting screamed out of the driver's side windows. Luckily the duo missed any car-based harm, remaining unfazed when they narrowly missed being run over time and time again.
It seemed that nothing, absolutely nothing, could tear these two "manly men" apart from each other. They were intent on smearing each other all over the road, their fight turning extra ugly when Duke began biting and Tristan began shooting "gollies" everywhere as an act of defence. And while it had been stated previously that nothing could hope to stop this fight of masculine dominance, eventually something did. It came in the form of their own ignorance. Collectively as one, they rolled several feet to the far left and suddenly the ground had failed them. They clung to each other, screaming, before finally landing in a pool of water.
Duke surfaced first. Gasping for air he waded to what appeared to be a ledge. He clawed himself onto it, breathing heavily. Tristan came swimming over a short while later.
"Man, that was awesome," he boasted, clambering up on the ledge as well and standing on Duke in the process.
Duke remained less impressed by the ordeal, picking himself up onto his feet. He examined his surroundings, realizing they were in the sewers. He noticed the hole they'd fallen down, the light billowing into the dark sewer via it. Duke scrunched his nose up and began trying to wring the sewer water out from his clothes and hair.
Tristan, oddly considering his earlier act of defiance against going into the sewer, didn't seem as bothered by the nauseating water he was drenched in. He merely waited for Duke to finish preening himself.
"Let's go find that lettuce then," Duke sighed, setting off along the dark canals, making sure to keep to the ledge. Tristan walked alongside him, next to the sewer wall.
"Hey…what's that gross smell?" Tristan eventually asked.
"You lifted your arms," Duke sarcastically replied.
"No way! YOU opened your mouth!" Tristan retorted defensively.
"No, your ears are so big that the smell of your rotting brain is wafting out of them!" Duke argued back.
"Yeah, well…you opened your…butt," Tristan struggled to comeback.
"You are a butt," Duke cunningly retorted.
"NO WAY!" Tristan yelled back, angrily shoving Duke with enough force that he pushed him off the ledge and into the stagnant, smelly water.
The sun had begun to set by now, and orange-red light shone over the Kaiba manor. Yugi was commenting repetitively how beautiful it looked from the kitchen window, all the while preparing dinner for the Kaiba brothers. Seto was slouched at the kitchen table, grinding his teeth together angrily, regretting his foolish move earlier that day of suspecting Yugi to have learnt his lesson. Apparently chasing him around the manor and out the front door, all the while wielding an antique candleholder, just wasn't enough to drum into Yugi's head that he was not welcome into Kaiba's home.
Mokuba was happy that Yugi had come back, and double happy when he introduced to the younger Kaiba brother 'Breakfast for Dinner'. Mokuba had never experienced such a thing, but was eager to see what it would be like to eat his usual breakfast feast at night instead. Seto scoffed at the plan and bluntly, under his breath, declared it a 'cheap shortcut'. But Mokuba would not let his brother's negativity shadow the event and had keenly agreed to let Yugi cook dinner tonight.
And so there Yugi was, hunched over the stove, spatula in hand, creating a masterpiece he'd named "Bellissimo Eggs". From what Kaiba could see, they were merely eggs, frying away in the fry pan, but he resolved to roll his eyes and ignore Mokuba's interest in the food, instead of making a scene about it.
"Gee Mokuba, I sure am glad you like my eggs. Grandpa sure isn't as fond!" Yugi beamed happily, turning from the stove to grin at Mokuba. Kaiba couldn't contain a small laugh that escaped his throat; so that old man did have some sense after all.
Yugi and Mokuba continued to have their little "Solomon Vs. Egg" discussion in the background, but Seto, wanting to detach himself from this conversation, let his mind wander. He found himself envisioning a beautiful scenario: Yugi was happily blabbering on stupidly, distracted enough to not notice his fried eggs begin to mutate into a horrible beast, which eventually grew several angry looking eyes and a large mouth filled with pointed teeth that it used, swiftly, to devour Yugi.
Kaiba chuckled blissfully at his fantasy. He was just going to end it there, but suddenly thought "why not take it further?", and the next moment the beast had grown twice the size of an elephant and was heading down the main street of Domino City, eating all of Yugi's stupid friends and family, as well his Grandfather's game shop. Kaiba snorted aloud at this, not realizing that the noise had attracted Mokuba and Yugi's attention to him. Instead, his fantasy proceeded, continuing on to follow the egg-beasts travel across the world, devouring anyone Kaiba didn't like. Eventually a Kaiba Corp flag was added to the monster's design, and Kaiba envisioned himself riding atop it while laughing crazily.
Pulling his napkin closer and a pen, Kaiba began to erratically scribble down what the egg-beast looked like, considering the thought of taking it to Pegasus to propose as a potential Duel Monster card. Yugi and Mokuba eyed Seto suspiciously for a moment, but eventually shrugged his behaviour off, merely content that he had found something to entertain himself with.
The night progressed on rather smoothly after that point. Whenever Kaiba felt himself getting enraged from Yugi's presence, he merely looked down at his demented, egg-based creation scribbled on his napkin, and snorted gleefully.
Before bed, Kaiba placed his beloved drawing on his bedside table, even going as far as to kiss it goodnight. For the first time in a while, despite it just being messy scrawl on tissue, Kaiba felt as though he had an ally in his manor.