In the past
In the past everything was easier.
Borring, but easier. Balthazar never expected, that he would be regretting having free will and a possibility of choice. In the past important decisions was made by others and he was there only to obey. How much he would give for that time to come back. Of course not for forever. Just for this one, short moment. For this one decision.
At least he would have a justification.
"Are you with me or not?"
It was surprisingly easy to answer even though Balthazar, as most of the angels, wasn't good at lying. He didn't understand why at that moment was he able to said those words so convincingly. Maybe he really wanted to stand by his side. Believing that everything will be fine and Cas wouldn't make a mistake.
"I'm officially on your team. You bastards."
Well said.
Bastards that were using his brother. They made him theirs errand boy. Balthazar really wanted to believe that it was because of them. That it was their fault that Castiel wasn't able to win. It would be much easier then the problem to resolve. Or more accurately – get rid of it.
But it wasn't so simple. It never could be so simple.
"It's a means to an end. Balthazar, you understand that."
Of course.
His very own brother as an angelic nuclear reactor. Even more unstable than Chernobyl but stronger than an archangel.
Did he already mention, that he really wanted to believe that his dear Cassie wouldn't make a mistake?
Balthazar clasped his hands and sighed deeply. Half-filled glass was standing next to the empty whiskey bottle. Angel reached for it, taking a great sip. Silent seemed to fill the vast villa in which he currently resided.
Before his eyes old memories were appearing. They filled his mind and they weren't allowing to be pushed away. He was seeing millennia spend in heaven that seemed to belong to someone's else life.
He was observing the beginning of the human world. A fish, that Castiel almost stepped on. A fish that later became an ancestor to everything that lives on the solid ground. He remembered Tower of Babel, Cain and Abel, David and Goliath, Sodom and Gomorrah. He was seeing the fall of the civilizations, empires, kingdoms.
And everywhere there he saw himself, his garrison.
Cas.
"Well, Cas… Now that you have your sword, try not to die by it."
Balthazar putted down the glass. He has never assumed that the silent could be so irritating.
Finally he stood up. Slowly, without a rush. As if his feathers – dark, brown feathers were cover in lead. He was delaying this moment as far as he could but eventually the characteristic sound of fluttering wings pealed out.
In the next moment there was no one in the room.
He made a decision.
"My friends, they abandon me, plot against me. It's difficult to understand."
"Well you've - you've always got little old me."
"Yes, I'll always have you."
From Author: So… For some reason single line breaks doesn't work. I tried everything (mozilla, google chrome, opera and also html as well) but after I save – they're disappearing again. No idea why. So I had to use the lines. Sorry. Also – I'm not native English speaker so feel free to point out the mistakes.