WARNING: This story is completly random, not that it doesn't have a plot, it just has things coming at you at every corner.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Probably never will...unless I became the dictator of the world and forced Stephenie Meyer to give me the rights to her book (but that will never happen).

A/N: Hope you enjoy the story and its randomness!

Have you ever felt like you had your head between your legs while running full speed down a slippery road? Then when you finally decide to lift your head up to make it easier for you, there's two bananas dancing in the street as they worship the almighty marshmallow? But then the marshmallow spontaneously combusts and the bananas cry mournfully and throw themselves at it as if their yellow peels can magically put out the flames? Because after the past few months, if this happened to me, it would be the sanest thing yet.

"Emmett, a little help down here!" my sister yelled from the basement.

I dropped the banana I was chewing thoughtfully on and raced down the stairs. When I reached the last step, I had to bite my lip from laughing at the scene in front of me. Bella was frantically hitting zombies in the face with a baseball bat to keep them from crawling in our basement window.

Instead of giving in to the laughter that was trying to escape my throat, I grabbed the nearest item and launched it at the gruesome face in front of me.

"OW!" Bella cradled her face and stumbled backwards. Oh, whoops. Wrong gruesome face.

Bella looked at me with a dumbstruck expression, "Did you just throw a pencil at me?"

I shrugged and innocently looked around the room. It is not my fault her face was so similar to the creature that had saliva oozing down its mouth, and - ew. Did it have spinach stuck in its teeth? I didn't even know zombies ate spinach.

As I was about to throw up the banana I snacked on earlier, the zombie tumbled inside the basement and latched onto Bella's ankle. Bella shrieked and grabbed the pencil that I threw at her face and stabbed the zombie in the hand.

The zombie groaned and kept its hand wrapped firmly around her ankle, no hint of pain evident in its eyes. That is one thing about these ugly cannibals: they don't feel anything. Once, I "accidentally" threw one in a wood chipper. As it was slowly shredded from the bottom and up, it only desperately threw its arms in my direction, begging me to come closer so I could be its meaty-meal.

They were determined little freaks.

I hurried and snatched the 44-magnum pistol that was lying on the metal table in the left corner of the basement. Hanging on the walls, propped up on tables, and even latched on the ceiling, there's any type of modern firearms you could imagine; from a semi-automatic pistol, to a M14A1 rifle. And somehow, out of all this equipment, Bella decided to grab a bat. I worry about that girl.

I strode over to the zombie that was currently about to make a meal out of my sister and shot it twice in the head. It instantly went rigid and dropped its hand from Bella's ankle. Bella then jumped over to the open window and slammed it shut, effectively blocking out all the other groaning zombies.

She let out relieved breath and turned to me accusingly, "Why didn't you do that earlier?"

I shrugged and put the pistol on safety, "I like to watch you suffer."

I grinned when she glared at me with those mismatched eyes of hers. Her left eye was blue while her right was a light shade of green. You wouldn't be able to tell if you were far away, but if you were up close, you would be awe-stricken by her eyes.

Or get slapped because you invaded her personal space.

I placed the pistol back on the wooden table and looked around the room. Three months ago it wouldn't have seemed normal to be shooting up zombies, but ever since the virus broke out, people adapted to the new world they lived in. You can think of it as evolution, only without the whole theory of monkeys gradually evolving into humans (which is total bull). We had to adapt to our environment and learn how to survive. I mean, it's a man-eating-man world; you can't exactly invent a new law saying, 'No person shall eat another person', and expect zombies to oblige.

Anyways, we've moved on from the past and are trying to forget what it was like before all this happened. Just like everyone didn't really care about what it was like in 314 A.D. The only people who actually cared about history were the kids in school that sat in the front row, taking notes to even the stutters that came out of the teacher's mouth. I really hated those kids. Every time they walked in my direction, I wanted to pelt headless chickens at them.

Bella sighed, "Whatever. Just don't come crying to me when you find yourself in a hassle with zombies and I take my precious time in saving you."

"Okay, one, I would never cry, and two, I am far too superbly amazing to ever get in a hassle with a zombie." I flexed my biceps and smiled so widely that even Barney would be put to shame.

Bella was about to retort but paused, looking at my amazing smile. "That's just creepy Emmett." My wide smile faded and I pouted at her, my eyes getting watery. Nobody can resist the pout! It is my secret power.

She rolled her eyes and glided past me up the stairs.

NO! My powers have failed me! I crumbled down to the floor and went in a fetal position, crying with despair. But then I realized how dirty the floor is and jumped up, composing myself.

I followed her up the stairs, only stopping to pick up my cookie monster stuffed animal that was lying on the steps. Its fur was covered in so many things to where the blue monster almost looked brown. But I still loved the little guy. He has been with me for so many years, that it would be as if a member of the family died if I ever lost him. Plus, mom gave him to me when I was six.

"Mommy, mommy!" I screamed and ran into her, curling my little arms around her legs. "Bella scared me again!"

Mom laughed and bent down to pick me up, swinging me in the air as I giggled. "What did she do this time?" she asked.

"She threw a carrot at my head!" I pouted and looked up at her with gleaming eyes.

"Aw, want me to kiss it all better?" Mom cooed.

I nodded and smiled a toothy grin when she pressed her lips to my forehead, kissing it soundly. Mom then set me down, kneeling on the gray carpet and digging through her bag that was previously dropped on the living room floor.

She pulled out a fuzzy blue creature, cradling it towards her chest as she turned to me. "I have a surprise for you." Mom smiled, her electric blue eyes shining in the light, and handed me the little blue blob.

I squealed (What? I'm six; leave me alone!) and hugged the little creature to me. I've been obsessed with the Cookie Monster ever since my eyes would stay in one place long enough to actually see what was happening on the television (I was easily distracted...).

I hesitated in suffocating the blue monster, if it even breathes, and launched myself at my mom. She easily caught me and laughed in my ear.

"Happy Birthday."

I choked back tears and climbed the rest of the steps. Bella was already in the living room, lounging on the couch with a coke in her hand. She better of not took the last one. I will mangle her face.

Bella looked over at me and smirked, "It's the last one."

My eyes widened and I gazed at the little can of coke, with its water dripping down the sides, and its oh-so-magical-goodness that laid inside.

That's the second time that day I had to choke back tears.

A/N: So what do you think? Not random enough? Leave your interesting and creative responses in the review...thingy. Can anybody guess where the beginning of that sentence is from?