A/N: so this is kinda the draft/fandom version of my English lit assessment. It's supposed to be about journeys, but seeing as there is a lot of stuff about gays and lesbians in the media at the moment, and because I'm Bisexual myself, I decided to make this a "Journey" About "Discovering yourself" And the struggles that some people, only a minority, have to go through on a daily routine because of something they can't control or help. I was truly disgusted at one point in the research I did for this, when I found some of the words used against gays. This is dedicated to all of you that are bullied because of your sexuality. No matter Verbal, Physical or virally, you are all human, therefore, you are all equal.
His body looked so frail on that hospital bed. Wired up to god knows how many machines, chemicals being pumped into his body just to keep his organs from functioning. He's here because of those stupid idiots at school. Those retards. Fuckers. Homophobes. All he did was be himself and protect me.
Three days ago, it was all okay. Me and Arthur walked to school, just like any other day. Arthur was a British exchange student; his parents decided to move here after he visited for the first time, and we've been together ever since. By the way, I forgot to mention. Arthur and I are dating. We're gay. But I don't like labels. I prefer…In love
I felt his hand bump against mine, and encased it in the warmth of it, heating up his skin immediately. The winter was especially harsh this year, and Arthur wasn't used to these temperatures. Our breath fogged up, joining in a misty ball of warmth before floating up to the atmosphere, where some other human beings would breathe the exact same particles in again someday. The road to school was unusually quiet for a snow day. All of the students were probably already at school, getting their faces pelted with snow and letting their noses go all red. Personally, I don't like the snow, but Arthur did, so we occasionally had snowball fights in my yard. He never seemed to cease smiling these days. Even when someone threw a remark at us, he'd just wash it off; walk away, unlike me. I'm like a sponge. I soak in these remarks and keep them, before letting them out in one large waterfall of emotion, before starting over again.
But turning into the school gates, My face was greeted with a fistful of the frozen water.
"Hah! Faggots!" The water dripped down the back of my neck, inducing the shiver of hatred for these…these bullies. Scowling, I hid my face in my scarf and pretended not to care. Who needs them anyway? At least I'm happy how I am, Just Arthur and I. I walked away from them, their stares of hatred boring through my back and burning a hole in my heart. My heart that was warm enough to warm the whole of America one day.
Form room is never any better. I still get taunts from the same people. My teacher pretends to not notice, but I know she sees them. Who can miss someone shouting "Gay!" across the classroom when a name is said in the register? I felt the hand squeeze me, and all of my anger disappeared deep inside of me, ready to be released at a later date.
And the shit just kept rolling on. The names. The stares. The shoves whilst I stood at my locker.
"Hey, Fag!"
"Haha! Knob Jockey!"
"How's your diet,vagitarian?!"
"Fucking Pillow biter!"
"How's the Dyke today?"
Trust me. I've heard every fucking insult. Just ask me. Have a go. It won't hurt me. That's what everyone thinks. Just because I've had that word used to describe me before, doesn't mean that it wont add to the hatred I have for the minority of the citizens that inhabit this foul planet that think it is okay to shout offensive words at someone because of something so simple. Because of something I can't control. Because I fell in love with someone the same gender as me. I didn't choose to be like this. It wasn't a case of me waking up one morning and deciding that I liked guys. Because life isn't fair.
It's never fair.
As I was leaving the school grounds at the end of school, I saw them. The bullies. They were stood at the gates, waiting for us. We always left a couple minutes later so we didn't run into this group of boys. But leaving late also meant having no-one around to see anything. I tenderly nudged my boyfriend's arm and he nodded tenderly, indicating that he had seen the group. About five boys stood at the green, snow covered gates with menacing looks on their faces as they shot glares of disgust and hatred, like Medusa's eyes, which, along with the snow, chilled me to the bone. Swallowing nervously, I hid behind my scarf before putting on a brave face and walking up to the gate, a mere meter away from the spot that they stood at, like a pack of wolves, waiting to pounce. Carrying on walking, I could hear their heavy footsteps close behind us, and began to quicken the pace.
"If we can make it one block, ill get us the bus" I whispered slowly into Arthur's ear, feeling his golden hair shift against my ear, showing me that he agreed to them plan. Unfortunately, the boys didn't.
"Talking about us?" Pretending not to hear him, we carried on walking.
"I SAID 'Talking about us', fags?" A heavy hand landed on our shoulders and ripped us apart, pinning me up against a wall and shoving Arthur to the ground, eyes shut and fists clenched. I felt my heart rip apart slightly as he made that face. The face like the devil himself was stood there. My mouth glued itself shut due to the lack of saliva, and my attempt to swallow was flawed because of the dryness.
"Mmmn? Got cum stuck in your throat?" He snickered before turning towards me and shoving his forearm up to my throat, choking me as I backed up against the brick wall behind me. "You probably have as well!" I felt the pressure applied to my throat increase, pushing the tears to the rims of my eyes.
"Guys, look! The faggot's gonna cry!" Sadistically, the boy began to laugh, punching and kneeing me in the stomach again and again until I felt like my insides were about to regurgitate my lunch. Saliva dripped from my lip; the only thing I could concentrate on was the pain. And for a split second there, I forgot about Arthur.
"You get off Alfred!" The smaller boy stood up, yelling and pointing at the boys before running and tackling the one holding me down. He dodged out of the way, and Arthur landed square onto my chest, arms linking with mine. Our breathing synchronised, and for a moment there, everything was peaceful.
"Aww! Faggot love! I bet there gonna fuck after this!"
And that's when I snapped.
It was a blur after that. I can remember everything being a blur, like being stuck in a tornado with no escape. I remember the sickening crunch that my fist made as it came into contact with someone's jaw. The scream as my foot found one of their soft and vulnerable stomachs. And then, being held down by two of them. I couldn't move at all. My arms were bound by enemy flesh and bones, sniggering like hyenas into my ears. The boy who had me up against the wall was stood opposite me. Grinning. With a metal pipe in his hand. I saw his hands raise above his head, before coming down again as fast as lightning, hitting skull bone with a sickening clunk. And then the realisation. The realisation that it wasn't me that was hit. It was Arthur.
"Fuck! You seriously overdid it this time!"
"Hey! It was all of us! Lets go before he calls the cops or dies or something"
Footsteps running away from me echoed into my eardrums as I knelt beside Arthur's body. Arthur's cold, shivering, lifeless body.