Author's Note: Hey there! xCastielsGirlx here, courtesy of my sister xtykimikkx who has decided to renew her account (please, don't all rush at once) This particular fic is a collab with the two of us (she's got me writing the author's note and shit- I love you guys) in the Skyfall fandom- and I'VE JUST RECEIVED PERMISSION TO MAKE THIS 00Q! But yeah, getting into the festive spirit! We hope you enjoy! Also, we will write a spoof with all the original bits of parody. It will be the same story; just a bit funnier.
Elley and Katie-May out!
Warnings: FLUFF! 00Q- most likely some swearing too (oops)
Disclaimer: Skyfall belongs to Ian Flemming and Eon Productions- we are making no profit from this fiction!
Treats for the Minions
The-Writer-Squad
Q stood in his cluttered kitchen staring at the piles of treats. He had spent several hours making batches of cookies and muffins for his minions in Q branch. There were many different flavours; there were chocolate, double chocolate, triple chocolate, oatmeal, raisin, fudge and caramel, fairy cakes and cupcakes. Of course, everything was wrapped in red and green, to show the festive spirit.
He carefully wrapped the gifts in small sets, placed them in labelled baskets and put them all in a Santa sack. He tied the sack with a long black ribbon and put it by the front door. Q then returned to the kitchen and cleaned the sides roughly. He put most of the mess in the dishwasher, and filled the sink to wash the rest.
When he was satisfied, he moved to the dining room to wrap Bond's present. He had made three small things, one of which was an exploding pen; the second was an Aston Martin Model, made by Q himself. He had included the number plate of Bond's own car- BMT 216A., the headlights turned on and the guns even appeared with the press of a button. It was roughly one foot tall and one meter long. The third gift was some cookies: simple yet effective.
When he had finished wrapping the presents and writing the cards, Q left them all by the front door, ready to take in the morning.
Q entered the taxi and placed the sack gently on the neighbouring seat, requesting a location as close to MI6 quarters as possible. He wasn't very fond of taking taxi's to work, but with the insane amount of gifts he had to carry, there was no way he'd be able to get the tube- there was a high risk of presents becoming damaged or worse- getting mugged. The journey was tedious to say the least; the cabby was running over every possible pothole in London.
When he arrived he paid the fair, with correct change, and carried the luggage to the MI6 Quarters. He entered Q branch with a skip in his step. When he entered through the doors, he was alone. 'Perfect' he mumbled to himself. Q worked his way around the room, slipping each minion's present into their desk drawers, or other places where they would find the present easily. He then proceeded to his office and collapsed onto his chair, letting out a sigh.
"You sound exhausted."
Q jumped slightly at the voice of James Bond next to his ear, only taking slight note of the scent of bergamot from the earl grey that had been placed in front of him, and the mixed musk of the double-oh agent.
"Yes, well, staying up until God-knows-when wrapping presents does seem to take a lot out of a man," Q retorted, dragging the mug of tea closer to himself and taking a sip.
"You're an angel, Bond," he sighed, leaning back in his chair. His expression was one of contentment… until a lump of metal was dropped on his desk. Q groaned and even wasted energy to glance at the offender.
"This was brand new, Bond!" James just shrugged, and sat on the edge of Q's desk.
"So, did you get me a present too?" he teased, and Q thought of the bag containing the presents that was under his desk.
"After destroying the gun I gave you, your only present is time in the lab to fix it." He mumbled.
"Come on Q, it was an accident! At least I returned it. For that, I think I deserve a little reward." Bond waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Only a small reward, for now" Smirking, Q brought up his sack and emptied it onto the table. He held out the exploding pen and cookies. "Merry Christmas, Bond"
Smiling, Bond un-wrapped his gifts with caution, checking for booby traps. Q nudged the third gift under his desk, hoping to hide it for a bit longer.
"I haven't rigged it to explode, Bond," Q smirked nervously, fiddling with his hands. 'at least not yet, anyways,' he thought to himself. At first, Bond was confused as to why Q would give him a normal pen, but when he saw Q's smirk, it clicked into place.
"An exploding pen," he breathed, and Q's eyebrows rose. "If you screw off the nib, it activates the explosive and you have precisely eight seconds to get as far away as possible. It's a contained explosion, so use it wisely," Q explained, and Bond looked genuinely pleased with the gift.
Next bond un-wrapped the cookies; he nibbled at the edge of one. He hummed in contemplation, making Q hold his breath. To be honest, Q guessed with this gift, he didn't know if Bond even liked sweets.
Soon though, all his worries dissipated. Bond was smiling, not the usual cocky smile of his, but a genuinely pleased smile. It made Q's stomach do somersaults.
"Thanks Q"
"Well, we can't have you moping around on Christmas-eve now can we? Everyone else received a gift; it would be unfair to leave you out." He replied with his usual snark.
Chuckling, Bond ruffled his hair. Q leant into the touch momentarily; he then batted Bonds hands away. "So, what did your minions receive?" Bond said offhandedly.
"Cookies, cupcakes, muffins, you name it, it's there." He said chuckling.
"They should find them soon, I saw them opening their desks, getting settled- you know; morning routine." Bond raised his eyebrows.
"I didn't have you down for the baking type," Bond commented, and Q scoffed.
"Please, they're my minions- Friday's would never be the same if I didn't bring in brownies- it helps speed up the work, you know?" Q explained, taking another sip of his drink.
"Well now I feel bad- I didn't get you a present," Bond fake-moped, and Q sniggered.
"I would've said that returning the equipment was a present enough- but seeing as that didn't happen, I'm starting to think that I shouldn't expect many gifts from you in the future," he explained.
Bond snorted, "Well, it would be unfair if I didn't get you something sometimes. You can expect a present for Christmas Q; I can promise you that."
Q was about to reply when a minion knocked lightly on the door; Q motioned for him to come in.
"Q, we need you out her for a minute." Q raised an eyebrow and slowly stood.
When he walked through to the rest of Q branch, he found his minions standing in a crescent shape, everyone was grinning. Some had Christmas hats on and others had jumpers with traditional Christmas patterns.
Unsure of what to do Q asked, "How can I help?"
The minions parted in the middle to show a big basket containing wine, cheese, jumpers, a Christmas hat, several boxes of chocolate, many pairs of socks and a heinous amount of tea. Q stared dumbly at it; he really wasn't expecting to get any gifts this year. He looked over his co-workers.
"Thank you."Choking up slightly.
They surrounded him, ready for a group hug. Bond watched from Q's office door, smiling at the sight before him. He made his way to the office door, preparing to leave for a debriefing. Q broke away from the hug and jogged slightly to catch up with the agent.
"Bond!" Q called, catching up with James at last and grabbing his suit-clad arm.
"Yes, Q?" He turned to see Q holding a large rectangle box.
"I didn't say you could go yet." He handed the box to the double-oh.
Bond placed it on a nearby desk, un-wrapping it as slowly as before. Next, he opened the cardboard box to reveal the Aston Martin Model. He brought it out and laid it next to the box, he held the small remote, staring at Q. The minions stood in the distance, watching the scene- some exchanging money in silent bets.
"It's not a good as the real thing, but it will do for now right?" Q asked nervously, wringing his hands together. Bond placed the remote on the desk next to the model, and brought Q in for a crushing hug, which the Quartermaster nervously returned.
"You like it?" he asked. Bond pulled away from the hug and grinned widely.
"I love it," he replied, and Q chuckled in relief.
"Oh thank God I thought you'd hate it."
"So, knowing you it does a lot more than you let on." Bond smirked, and Q chuckled.
"You know me well Bond. It moves, obviously, but also, the lights work. There's a camera in the front and back, you can watch the feed on most devices. The guns will work if you load the pellets into it. Also, because it's you, it has a tracking device in the car and remote." When Q finished he was beaming with pride.
"Seriously Q, you went all out on this. How long did it take you to make?"
"Well that's a secret. If you don't mind, you have to go. You have a debriefing to go attend. It may be Christmas Eve, but it's still a working day." Q stated. "Plus, I have work to finish."
"Okay, but I need to give you a present later." Bond promised.
"I really don't expect anything, James." Replied bashfully.
The day passed quickly after that, and there was still no sign of James or his gift, so Q decided to leave early. He hailed a taxi for the second time that day and returned to his apartment.