Family

by dark-angel-rising

DAR - I wonder if they will like this story.

Dartz - Not likely.

DAR - meany.

Dartz - hn.

DAR – hey Dartzy, do the disclaimer.

Dartz – I would, but then I would send your soul to the Great Leviathan.

DAR – okay okay! All you had to say was no thanks.

Dartz – Fine. No thanks.

DAR – I forgot what I was going to say before.

Dartz – Must no have been that important.

DAR – Yeah, you're right.

Dartz - Yay!

DAR - (sweatdrops)

Chapter 1

Dartz, the five-time recipient of the Mr. Dialolical-Evil-Genius Award was currently suffering through the most horrible, cruel torture known to man. Also, it was known as dinner. Right now, Valon was busy flinging his mashed potatoes at Alister. The redhead was retaliating by throwing his spaghetti and meatballs at the Australian brunette. The two were screaming at each-other loudly and incoherently. In his own seat, Raphael was busy drinking down Advil after Advil.

"You stupid Aussie! You hit me in the eye!" Screamed Alistar, throwing his plate of food at Valon who quickly ducked out of the way. The plate smashed into the wall, breaking, and leaving a large goopy mess on the wall and the floor. Dartz' eye twitched. That was my best china. That wall was painted just yesterday.

"You're the one thats stupid carrot top!"

Ohhh, you're gonna regret that!"

Valon laughed like a maniac, "I'll kill you in your sleep!" he yelled, flinging jello at Alister.

Alister's eyes grew to the size of dinnerplates, "Dartz-sama! Valon says he'll kill me in my sleep!" he cried, pointing an accusing finger at the little brunette.

"Valon, stop threatening Alister, Alister, Valon isn't stupid, he's special, Raphael, stop drinking all those Advils, you'll get addicted." Said Dartz, not looking up from his plate of goop. Note to self, don't let Raphael cook, just order out.

The arguement settled, the trouble-making duo began to fight over some of the most irrelevant matters. Alister's hair, Valon's hair, colors, and what kind of shampoo smells better. Now they were coming up with strange and highly disturbing ways to kill each other.

"I'll slice you open and feed your entrails to the squirrels!"

"Oh yea? Well not before I make Alister pancakes out of you on my bike!"

"I'll fold you in half and tape your bowels to your neck like a bowtie!"

Dartz wiped a tear away from his eyes. They were growing up so fast! Soon they would be running around stealing souls, killing people, stealing more souls...

The evil man looked over at the third boy whom he was currently raising. Raphael was slumped against the table, not moving at all. Dartz frowned slightly and poked the blonde with a fork.

No reaction.

Poke.

Nothing.

Poke.

Still nothing.

Dartz frowned in worry.

STAB!

"OWWWW!"

Raphael jumped up in the air, squaking in pain.

"He's alive!" Dartz cried out, raising his arms in a joyful manner. He was about to do a little song and dance when a thought suddenly ran through his periwinkle-haired head. The five time recipient of the Mr. Diabolical-Evil-Genius Award didn't break into song and dance whenever his future employee would brush by death. He looked down at his food in suspicion. Someone out there was drugging him! And he had an idea who it was...

(I could stop here but I'm not that mean.)

"VALON!" WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY FOOD!" Valon and Alister were currently in the Living Room, the former choking his comrade until he was turning an interesting shade of blue. Dartz stormed into the room, grabbing the Aussie by the collar and raising him up to eye level. Alister took that opportunity to get up off the floor and crawl away, breathing like someone who had asthma.

"What did you do to my food Valon!" Dartz growled, staring at the boy with fury.

o0o

Our favorite blue-eyed Australian brunette found himself scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush. He sighed dejectedly. So much for drugging Dartz and getting that new bike he'd been eyeballing in the store. Dartz had him cleaning the floors of his mansion with a toothbrush! Life sucked. This was all Alister's fault. He didn't know how but he was damn sure that the redhead had planned his demise. Afterall, what else was he doing spending so many hours locked up in his room, periodically laughing like a maniac? The young boy growled furiously, scrubbing the tiles in fury, pretending that every tile had Alister's stupid face on it. While he was down on the floor, Dartz walked in, looking at the boy harshly.

"Don't scrub too hard, Valon, you might scratch the floors!" He said in a mocking voice. Valon growled angrily, muttering foul curses under his breath. Dartz smirked and left the room. Now to find the other hellions.

He followed the path of chaos and destruction, which lead straight to the kitchen. He entered the kitchen, nearly falling down in shock from the destruction two human beings could cause. At the counter stood Raphael, stirring some strange gooey mixture, while Alister was sitting in the corner, stuffing his face with Coco Puffs and giggling madly. Raphael was the first to see Dartz and ran up to him, holding the bowl of... something.

"Wanna try some pancake mix?" He asked, holdng the dripping spoon under Dartz' nose. Dartz sighed, and ate the mixture, nearly choking on it.

"Opsie, that wasn't pancake mix." Raphael said. Dartz ran to the sink, emptying his mouth.

When he looked over at Alister, the redhaired boy was now shoveling Wheat Thins down his throat. His Wheat Thins. Dartz' Wheat Thins.

"ALISTER!"

When Valon walked into the kitchen, he saw a very strange sight. Raphael was giggling like a small girl, shoveling sugar into his mouth. Dartz was running around the room, chasing Alister, who was laughing like a maniac, holding a box of Wheat Thins.

"Give me back my Wheat Thins you phsycotic brat! Give them back!" Screamed Dartz, trying to grab Alister. Unfortunately for him, Alister was amazingly fast, and ran out of the kitchen, followed by Dartz.

Valon took a last look at Raphael, and quickly left. Valon pushed the door open to his room and shuffled inside. He glanced around. The walls were lined with posters of bikers posed in their awesome stunts, the floor covered with cookie crumbs and dirty clothes that Dartz had wanted him to clean two weeks ago… and of course, there was a bunch of porno magazines underneath his bed.

He decided to read the latest issue, snacking on an old cookie, hearing occasional screams coming from the hallway and outside. Finally, he looked outside, seeing Dartz holding Alister by the feet, demanding the boy to give him back his Wheat Thins. Valon shrugged. At least it wasn't him that was in trouble.

A/N

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.

I do not own Wheat Thins.

I do not own Coco Puffs.

I do not own Advil.

There are you happy? I hope you are!

DAR - Hey, Dartzy, are you gonna tell the peoples to review?

Dartz - no.

DAR - Fine I'll do it. Review my evil minions! Review! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dartz - Nice evil laugh.

DAR - Thanks! -