Left Behind
A Bleach fanfiction
By Nelarun
Bleach (c) Kubo Tite
Hitsugaya Toushirou stared at the paperwork before him and frowned. It was unusually quiet at the moment and he didn't like it. Setting his brush down he moved towards the window; Matsumoto Rangiku - the most infuriating and loyal fukutaichou he could ask for - was putting the men through their paces with the intent on rewarding them with free sparring afterwards. As though feeling his gaze, she turned to him and nodded - but it was almost hesitant and lacked the usual exuberance and warmth he had come to associate with her.
Hitsugaya Toushirou had messed up.
Badly.
oOo
While he had felt some fondness for Shiba-taichou, his true fondness was reserved for Matsumoto-fukutaichou. In fact he thought he had actually begun to hate the man for his lacksadaisical behaviour (the same behaviour he saw in Matsumoto-fukutaichou didn't annoy him nearly so much,) and honestly he didnt approve of the methods Taichou forced Matsumoto-fukutaichou to perform just so he'd do his work. (That Matsumoto-fukutaichou had forged his hand and signature and had access to Taichous chop was not important). But even Toushirou had to admit, he was a good Taichou and between the two they kept morale of the Division high.
So when he started disappearing to the Realm of the Living, Toushirou felt cold spikes of anger directed towards the man who was making Matsumoto worry, and deep wells of gratitude to the men and women of the division who rallied around their normally vibrant Fukutaichou whose dismay and concern faded to annoyance for when Taichou returned.
(She had even gone so far as to alert the Fourth the time she broke his nose with a serving tray and they hadn't even healed it. He heard Shiba-fukutaichou had laughed himself sick at the whole incident.)
So he hated the man who caused Matsumoto-fukutaichou's brow to furrow with worry even in sleep; who caused her to lose weight, become ashen and almost mechanical in her actions.
The entire division was muted - holding collective breaths as they waited for news. Matsumoto-fukutaichou was called before an official inquiry where it was revealed that she had covered up many of Taichou's journeys to the Realm of the Living. Five lashes later, 10 years docked pay and an official reprimand in hand and Matsumoto was authorised to send out her own search parties for their errant Taichou.
Four months later, Taichou of the Tenth Division of the Seireitei's Guardians - Shiba Isshin, and his zanpakutou, Engetsu, were declared killed-in-action. No commendation was offered to the once highly thought of Taichou, no honour was given to his Clan. As for the Tenth? His former division was censured and put under official watch.
And Matsumoto-fukutaichou found a temporary solace in sake and in teasing him.
It wasn't the lighthearted teasing he was used to with Matsumoto-fukutaichou but it was a start. The two threw themselves into their work - he fixing the paperwork, she training the men. Eventually their supervisor left and the division started breathing again.
One evening after the supervisors retreat he stumbled across her sitting on top of one of the rocks in the garden, an empty sake bottle beside her, looking up at the moon. 'Ah, Taichou,' she breathed. 'The least you could'a done was said 'goodbye' ne?' He, feeling like an intruder, backed away as quietly as he could and left her to it.
(Two days later he was approached by Kuchiki Byakuya - Taichou of the Sixth Division, Kyoraku Shunsui - Taichou of the Eighth Division and Ukitake Juushirou - Taichou of the Thirteenth Division. They had a Taichou's Haori in hand and notice of promotion for him. When he tried to refuse the posting they looked surprised and mentioned that Matsumoto-fukutaichou had fought long and hard for his promotion. He wordlessly took the haori from them.)
oOo
The aftermath of Summer was torturous for Hitsugaya for many reasons - and it was to his personal shame that he hadn't noticed Matsumoto's despondency until he walked into the divison to see the paperwork done - his signature and chop adored the paper though he knew he hadn't done any of them. Quietly he drifted through the halls of his Division, searching for his ellusive fukutaichou. She was once again seated on a rock in the stone garden, long hair lank and limp about her tired face.
He found out from his Third seat that Matsumoto had been hauled before an inquiry and interrogated regarding her relationship with Ichimaru Gin and how she had never been aware of his actions or thoughts - after all she had been acutely aware of another Taichou's defection and never mentioned it to anyone. All this had happened while he was either recovering or watching over Hinamori Momo.
Anger and self-loathing battered him. Matsumoto had disobeyed him and thus saved Hinamori's life when he was unable. She always had his back when it mattered, was the face and life of the Division. He was a Celestial Guardian, a weilder of the Dragon Blade of ice, a Taichou; and yet he couldn't even be there for his fukutaichou when she needed him.
Inquiries were brutal - days of endless questioning, sleep deprivation, barely any food or water, sealed away from ones Zanpakutou... he should have stepped in, or at least been able to oversee the farce as it was presented.
He could have told the panel all they needed to know - while it was true that Tenth Division fukutaichou, Matsumoto Rangiku was in a relationship with former Third Division Taichou, Ichimaru Gin, she was a loyal member of the Tenth Divisioin and would do nothing to endanger her division or Taichou, nor leave them in a position of derision. If she had known about Ichimaru Gin or Kaname Tousen or Aizen Sousuke she would have told him - perhaps she would have angsted about it, perhaps she would have investigated further before bringing such a damning accusation to bear against three Taichou's - but she would have told him. Her behaviour would have changed: she would have become more furtive, seen less of her about the office or grounds, been less inclined to train the men, or drink; but she did none of these.
When he coolly asked the Soutaichou why he had not been informed of his fukutaichou's participation of the Inquiry he had been rebuked and told that everything had been done properly, what's more his fukutaichou had been cleared of any wrongdoing.
And yet he watched, helplessly, as his fukutaichou listlessly went about her duties, not even trying to escape her portion of the paperwork, worrying the men she trained with the fragility of her voice and pallor of her skin.
(Hitsugaya decided that he hated Izuru Kira and Shuuhei Hisagi for being able to put a smile on her face and restore the bounce to her step. He hated that once again he was unable to help her after yet another person she trusted, loved, disappeared and left her behind to pick up the pieces...)
oOo
So he tried to tell her with his eyes all that he had been unable to say with words. He tried to make her aware that he didn't want to leave her but he had no choice - but most importantly he tried to say goodbye. He left with the hurt and confused and betrayed look in her eyes fixed eternally in his mind..
He hated himself in that moment.
Always before he had tried to help her pick up the pieces after she was betrayed - this time it was he who left her, he who betrayed her without even a goodbye.
He later heard that the Division was put into lockdown - all seated officers had their Zanpakutou confiscated and sealed and Matsumoto was once again hauled before an Inquiry.
'You know, Ran-chan,' Kyoraku had lazily drawled as he escorted her home after one of her sessions, 'losing one Taichou is rough but two? A little careless of you don't you think?'
(She had almost smiled and agreed to less formal visitations for the duration of their lock down. Hitsugaya was grateful that Kyoraku had agreed to keep his Division's spirit up.)
Matsumoto had been loyal to him - even arguing against the Soutaichou for his innocence (adding another ten stripes to her back and an official reprimand for disrespect before the assembled Taichou's towards a superior officer) and he didn't deserve that.
He had screwed up and he knew it. His easy partnership, her easy trust - shattered.
EDIT: Thanks to Yemi Hikari for catching that mistake!
A/N: Gyah! One story last year! Only one! I'm sorry!
So I have a bunch of one shots and a few multi-chapter stories pending across multiple fandoms coming up this year.
Anyway, have finally moved town and am going to University - actually on campus rather than distance education! Yay! Of course, my computer has decided to die so for now I'll post stories from the town library computer!
(Okay... on campus is overrated. Don't get me wrong, attending lectures is brilliant, and the lower library is my haven - scent of old books - but I personally prefer off campus. Also fees are cheaper for off campus kids...)