FOR ALWAYS

Part 1: "Singer or Saviour, It's Hers To Choose"

Chapter 1: "Memories Tumbling Like Sweets From A Jar"

(A/N: This is the first work of prose fiction I have produced in a long time. Really, a long piece like this was probably a poor choice for getting back into writing, but this story grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me violently, and DEMANDED to be written and posted. I will be revising continuously as I go, as I'm sure my writing is rusty. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

UPDATE: Edited for spelling, grammar, and content errors due to faulty copy job from a word processing program.

IMPORTANT: I write in my spare time between other activities. Updates will not be regular. They will occur when I have the ability to produce content that I feel is good enough to post.

Thank You,

Quillian)

**October 1, 1994**

If you asked any member of the Hogwarts staff what their favorite type of music was, most would provide you a reasonable answer. Perhaps it might be Classical, or Jazz. Perhaps it might be Dolly Parton, or Sarah Brightman. If, at most times, you asked someone what Professor Snape's favorite music, was most would pause and stare at you as if you were mad to even want to know. However, as September faded to October of the year 1994, if you inquired about favorite music around the staff room, the answer would almost unanimously be a resounding "ANYTHING BUT THAT SYMPHONIC SERPENTS GROUP!"

Symphonic Serpents was a North American rock band that was taking the teenage world by storm. In Britain, they were edging out the Weird Sisters on the charts with younger audiences, although less with older audiences. Of course, that meant that the Hogwarts staff, whether fans or not, were sick and tired of hearing about the band (with the notable exceptions of Headmaster Dumbledore and Deputy Headmistress McGonnagall, who adored the music, and Professors Burbage, Sinistra, and Sprout who were apathetic to it.)

Professor Snape, however, had a much more negative reaction to the the band. The first time he heard their music it gave him a headache. A few seconds of the intro left him in moderate pain and nausea, and he could not get through an entire song without a full blown migraine and in consequence, he hated every mention of the music. Privately, he acknowledged it was hatred born of fear, as he had no idea why he reacted so. When he had first seen the posters announcing the album debuting in the UK, his impression was moderately favorable: a group of attractive multi-cultural women in attractive green and black; what heterosexual male Head of Slytherin WOULDN'T like the look of them? But when he heard the music ...

"Albus, I swear I would rather be crucioed!In fact, that's not far off how it makes me feel!" He exploded as Albus Dumbledore bemusedly banished the remains of the music player that had exploded spectacularly at a glare from the Potions Master.

"I do beg your pardon Severus, I was not aware you felt that it a particular song you dislike so, or the style of music…?"

Severus stalked to a chair and sat hunched in it, massaging his temples.

"I don't know, Albus. I feel nauseating irritability followed by literal pain that quickly escalates to excruciating levels. I find pain relief potions lessen it, but nothing cures it completely."

"Well, not to worry, my Boy, wizarding Britain has very few portable music players, unlike America, and even those few that may find their way into Hogwarts can only be used with headphones. I doubt you will hear it very often."

"Not that the brats should be listening to music in a school, anyway," grumbled the Head of Slytherin. The Headmaster just smiled indulgently, while privately resolving to be prepared to mediate any disputes that might come up due to all the reasons the younger man had for potentially being extra irritable. He understood most, if not all of what Severus was NOT saying.

"True, Severus, and of course with all the excitement here this year, I'm sure they won't have time or attention for such."

**November 26, 1994**

Albus Dumbledore discretely approached his Potions Professor as the staff arrived for an emergency Sunday afternoon staff meeting.

"Severus, I just want to let you know, I anticipate you may have a strong reaction to the announcement I will be making, but please, do not trouble yourself, we will meet later to ensure your concerns are handled appropriately."

"Oh?"The raised eyebrow said far more that the single questioning syllable.

"There has been a last-minute need to change the band booked for the Yule Ball."

"Oh?"

"While I'm aware of your personal reactions, I cannot use them as justification for a big fuss.I will not require you to chaperone at all, and I offer my assistance to ward your rooms."

"Albus, what…? Oh. I see."

"We will discuss this later"

**A few minutes later:**

"Thank you all for giving up part of your Sunday afternoons! I'll try to too take too much time. This meeting concerns the planning for the Yule Ball. As you may or may not be aware, the new Rock group Symphonic Serpents has issued a challenge for the contract to perform at the Yule I had a few reservations, they have provided me with a complete set-list with lyrics to ensure that there will be no concerns about whether the content will be age appropriate. In fact, they were more respectful of our sudden change in the age group of the participants that their competitors. As per the terms set out in their challenge, they have won the right to bid for the contract, and I would like to accept the bid, provided there are no objections?"

There were murmurs around the table.

"Albus, are you telling us that we will have Symphonic Serpents performing LIVE at the Yule Ball?" Minerva would deny that she squealed excitedly like a girl at this junction, however her voice was certainly higher than normal.

"Indeed, if no one can think of a reason not to…"

The glare that the Deputy Headmistress leveled at the staff ensured there would be no objections. She found it a little odd that Severus just sat there looking bored by the whole thing, not taking a single crack at anyone, but she was too excited to care.

**9:25 PM on the Night of the Yule Ball**

After half a bottle of alcohol, Severus found his bitterness toward the American band mellowed. After all, he had nothing against the band from a moral or aesthetic standpoint, and his unfortunate physical reaction had provided him with a perfect excuse to spend an evening locked in his quarters with a bottle of whiskey. Albus had insisted, in fact.

The Potions Professor tidied the stack of second year tests he had finished marking and stood to put them away and get the first year pile, which he wanted to finish that night. Unfortunately, he couldn't find searching his quarters, he recalled with a groan that he had left them in the staff room. A glance at the clock showed it was not yet 10 pm, surely he had time to slip up and get them before the ball got too loud for him to avoid more than mild discomfort… He could even take a fairly strong pain relief potion that would not mix poorly with the alcohol as a precaution. Decision made, he gulped down a generous dosage of the blue potion and slipped out of his rooms.

The route to the staff room required several detours to navigate without running into excited students and staff. Once there, he shrunk the papers and pocketed them, and hurried to try and regain his rooms. It was still not quite 10, he opted for a more direct route that passed close to the main hall, as despite the pain potion he wanted to be behind good wards by the time the music started. The dark passage was deserted and he was striding down it quickly when he turned a corner straight into a wave of sound.

For a few moments he wondered dazedly if a tsunami had somehow found its way into Hogwarts, for he seemed to feel and intense crushing pressure trying to destroy him, and his senses were completely overwhelmed. The tiny corner of his mind that remained rational and snarky noted that this was definitely NOT a migraine. He thought he felt the rough stone of the wall as he slid down it, instinctively dropping his head to his knees as if to stave off a fainting spell.

He might have blacked out, or he might have just drifted in limbo for a short while. However after a while he realized he had been wrong about the nature of the problem from the start. It wasn't a physical reaction, but a mental one. The sound bombarding him started to slowly become recognizable as music, but it was still triggering reactions he did not understand. The sensation was changing, it was less pain and more like pressure that was building. He forgot where he was and what he was doing, forgot everything except the forces at work inside his own head.

Albus cursed in his head as the castle wards alerted him to something wrong in a rarely used corridor close to where the teachers accessed the Great Hall. He cursed out loud when he saw Severus curled in a ball on the floor, arms locked around his knees, head down. He called the man's name and got no response. Every muscle in his body was rigid, and he didn't so much as twitch when the Headmaster laid a hand on his shoulder. Albus decided to wait a little bit and see if Severus snapped out of it on his own, as the man hated to be fussed over. He sat down with a Sherbet Lemon to observe.

Two candies later Severus stirred. He raised his head and stared at the Headmaster, who rose and approached him cautiously.

"Severus, are you alright?" To Albus' surprise, a soft smile flitted across the normally grim man's face. Severus rolled his shoulders to get rid of any lingering stiffness from the unusual position he had been in and got to his feet.

"Yes, Albus, I'm quite well now. I hope I did not worry you?"

"Somewhat, my Boy, but I know you don't like to be coddled… so I just stayed with you."

"I apologise for taking you away from more pleasant duties, Headmaster. I have determined that those odd migraines were in fact a bad reaction that affected my occlumency. The stronger I made my shields, the worse it got. I believe the situation is now completely resolved."

"Wonderful, Severus! But what on Earth could have caused it?"

Severus hesitated. He wanted to trust his old mentor but the truth was incredible. And dangerous. He would need to consider many possible angles. He would have to stall, mix truth with lies until he was sure it was safe.

"I cannot give you all the details, but do you recall the potions conference I attended some years ago in Italy? And how I was rather ill upon returning? I never told anyone the full story but what happened was that there was an accident that caused temporary mild amnesia. As soon as I was reminded of the parts of my life that were lost, the memories resurfaced with some mild discomfort. However I met and became friendly with a young lady during the conference, and hoped to stay in touch with her, but I never saw or heard from her after the accident so the memories remained buried under successively more layers of mental development. Now those memories have resurfaced, after battering their way through years of occlumency."

"Good Grief, Severus, no wonder you were suffering so!I hope she can understand it was not your fault you never contacted her."

Severus snorted in amusement but maintained an otherwise calm demeanor. He knew she wasn't upset, she would not have crossed barriers insurmountable to most in order to find him after they were separated if she hadn't guessed it was not his fault. He was still reeling from the knowledge of what had happened, what a precious gift he had been given, and the power he now had to share that gift.

"I think she will understand, Albus, however I'm sure an apology wouldn't hurt. I'm sure you must be due back at the ball, I'll accompany you and perhaps you can help me think of a suitable way for me to express myself?"

"Delighted to, Dear Boy! Do you recall if she prefers a traditional approach like flowers, or something more personal?"

"Not cut flowers, although walks in nature were appreciated in clement weather."

"But wait, Severus, you cannot stand this music, why would YOU accompany ME?

"This music is what was triggering the memories, and the occlumency reaction. I met her when she sat down at a café after singing for change on a street corner. Now that my mind is not at war with itself, I can freely enjoy it, and I fully intend to!"

The two men were still chatting as they slipped into the Great Hall. The students seemed to be enjoying themselves, dancing and some were even singing along to the piece that was winding down. The professors were slowly strolling through the hall, keeping an eye on everything. Minerva passed them as they meandered in the direction of the stage set up where the teachers normally dined. The lead singer of Symphonic Serpents stepped to the side of the stage, drained a glass of water and returned to her microphone.

"Since we fully intend to rock on as long as we can here tonight, we'll be taking the first of a few brief breaks now to fuel up!"

The bassist chimed in, "Yeah, let's all grab a snack to keep this awesome energy going!"

The lead singer smiled and added, "Personally, I'd love a good cup of tea! Good thing we're in England!"

"Good thing indeed!" The Potions Master murmured to Albus. The headmaster raised an eyebrow as he followed the younger man, who was murmuring a string of spells that resulted in a conjured teacup full of warm tea. They skirted the 2-foot-high stage to the back corner where the band was relaxing and "fueling up". Pitching his voice to reach their ears, Severus spoke.

"I believe someone requested a good cup of tea?"

Albus was shocked, and a little concerned. The snarky spy's gallant behavior made no sense. He stared as the lead singer, a short woman in a black and green corset, short black leather skirt and thigh-high black boots turned and took the teacup floating in the air toward her. She took a sip, eyes never leaving the tall, black-haired man who had offered it. She raised one eyebrow.

"Yes, "Severus replied to the silent question, "I remember how you like your tea. I remember a lot of important things now."

Then the Headmaster understood. This was the woman who had been singing in the street in Italy, which explained why her singing now had broken through the memory blocks. Now she was grinning down at Severus, who was looking back up at her with a little smile curling up one corner of his mouth. She stepped to the edge of the stage and handed back the cup and banished them with a flick of his hand and reached for hers. She leaned down, resting her hand on his shoulder and said,

"We have a few moments 'til we start again…"

The Potions Master lost no time in placing his hands on her waist and lifting her down. She immediately wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, which he returned. When she loosened her grip, she leaned back with a slight frown and inquired,

"Are you ok?"

A rueful look crossed Severus's face. "You and your nose! I'm fine can talk more later. I'll stay for the show."

Her face relaxed back into a happy smile."I'm glad I found you, finally. I was worried when you disappeared, but I reckoned it would have been hard for you to contact me... Drat. I have to get back on stage."

Severus adjusted his grip on her, and took a deep breath, concentrating as he channeled his magic into levitating them both up to the stage, an impressively showy piece of magic for someone who normally tended to fade into the background. He leaped silently back to the floor and strolled back to the dumbfounded headmaster.

"Shall we partake of refreshments, Albus? I'm sure you have questions, and I have consumed alcohol and pain potions on an empty stomach."

Dear Readers, how's that for getting my first piece of writing in 10 years off the ground? Don't worry if some parts are a little cryptic, there is much to reveal as we go along! Cheers, Quillian

(Footnote: Part 1 of this story is inspired by and dedicated to Joan Baez, and chapters will be quotations from her song "Winds of the Old Days".)