Yup, I have even more of my ridiculous Black Jack/Terezi. :)

"Wake up!"

He did not want to wake up.

"Don't you have a surgery today?"

He bolted upright in his bed, shoving the warm covers off. "What?"

Terezi grinned at him. "Wakey wakey!"

He didn't remember having a surgery that day, but he couldn't risk it. He heaved himself out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom, shielding his eyes from the bright light. The one that Terezi seemed to be shining in his face.

"I'm really mad at you," she announced cheerily. He didn't take much notice of this, since she'd been saying it four or five times a day for the past month. He couldn't figure out why.

She wasn't wearing clothes. This wasn't unusual lately. When she was wearing clothes, she was always dressing in these ridiculous outfits that made him cringe. They were so impractical.

She padded after him into the bathroom, where he rubbed at his face a bit and reached for his razor, half heartedly costing his face with shaving cream. He was halfway through his normal routine when he realized.

He stared at the mirror in horror. No. She'd gone too far. This was too much. He couldn't deal with this.

"We're breaking up," he said.

"No," said Terezi. "We are not."

"You..." blustered Black Jack. "You shaved..." He couldn't bring himself to say the words. "You shaved my..."

"Sideburns," supplied Terezi helpfully.

"I've had them since I was fifteen!"

"I know! I really liked them too. They were the most attractive part of you!"

"I know!" he moaned. "They were the only attractive part of me!"

"I did it for a reason, you know," she said ominously. "You have been rather neglectful of late, my love."

She struck a pose, putting her hands on her hips and jutting them out dramatically. "This cannot continue!" she yelled. "You need to see the harm you are causing! I took something you cared very dearly about from you so you would see the pain I go through every day."

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," he said mournfully. "But whatever it is, I'm sure I did not deserve the desecration of my...my..."

"Sideburns?" she supplied helpfully.

"You ruined them," he moaned. "What if they never regrow? What if I'm sideburnless forever? What have you done?"

"Do you feel...unsexy?"

"Of course I feel unsexy!" he snapped, "I never feel sexy!"

"Then you know how I feel!" she said loudly. "All month I've been trying to get your attention, but you've been ignoring me! I'm sexy! I'm hot! Everyone thinks so but you!"

"I...you were?"

"Yes! You didn't notice any of it! How am I supposed to know if you think I'm sexy and you don't say so?"

"Isn't that what erections are for?"

"Maybe, but since it takes you like, an hour, to get it up, what does that say?" she wailed.

He blushed. "You know that's a medical problem..."

"Do I? Do I really? What if you're telling me that because you think I'm that ugly?"

"Your attractiveness has nothing to do with my subjective opinion," he stated. "Objectively, you are very attractive."

"But do you think I'm attractive?"

"I...yes..."

She beamed at him. "Good. I was so worried! Tonight we're gonna do it, 'k?"

"Not with my sideburns like this."

"But...why not?"

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Half his face was covered with shaving cream, but the other half clearly showed the missing sideburn. He lowered his eyes.

"You can't tell, but I'm ugly," said Black Jack savagely. "I know I say it a lot, but it it's...novel...to me to think that you don't get it, that you don't think..."

It occurred to him that he'd just said rather a lot of words all at the same time, and most of them were about their relationship. He shut his mouth.

"Your sideburns matter that much to you?" she asked incredulously. "They smell nice, but so does the rest of you."

"Oh," he said.

She breached the distance between them and kissed him on the lips, getting shaving cream all over her cheeks. She grinned at him.

"I still like you, hair columns or no."

"Hair columns?"

"Can we have sex tonight?"

"...Okay."

"Will you tell me that I'm pretty?"

"You are pretty," he said. "You don't need me to tell you that."

This time, he was the one who kissed her.

Reviews are love. :)