Hey there readers! This is an Author's Note!
So finally I have a new fanfiction up, which I hope you guys will enjoy. Some of you may recognize this to be similar to elvesmagic010's "Mechanism" and you'd be correct. I love how that story has developed and I loved the idea of having the element of flashbacks create the story, so I wanted to write a Axel-Roxas fanfic just like it.
And here it is. So, without further adieu, please read on~
ChapterOne: LostInTime
The sound of the rain helped to soothe his muscles, assisted to relax and gave Roxas the opportunity to enjoy the weather he had been waiting for almost the entire duration of the summer. It had been typical weather of Destiny Islands: balmy, sunny, the sun's rays bathing the island in a heated and bountiful glow, and a few clouds loitered on the horizon of the ocean, unmoving it seemed. None had built up enough moisture to rain down upon the grown island; storm clouds raged on the coast of Twilight Town, raucous lightning biting through the atmosphere and lighting up the night sky with god-like force. Roxas had watched those clouds storm upon the booming city, but never once did they cross the ocean to unmercifully give a good show upon the island.
However, Roxas began to think, the rain would help to calm his nerves. A bare minimum. It had been a long school year—typical of any teenager's life, really—and he now only had one more year left, his senior year, before he could finally start the life that he wanted. The rain, now pouring, had arrived just in time. Roxas let out a contented sigh. At last.
The blond began to think about all the things that had happened during the year. The laughter he had shared with people he had only just met, the joys of finally feeling good enough to be anybody's friend. The excitement of feeling love for the first time. As the rain continued to pour, every drop splattering on the street below, the memories washed over the blond and images flashed in front of his eyes, remembering all the things that had happened.
A roll of thunder suddenly erupted in the afternoon atmosphere, shaking Roxas loose from his memories. He looked wonderingly at the sky, and as a flash blinded him for a split second he moved from where he had stood on the patio to the safety of his apartment flat. He closed the door as another crack of thunder rolled across the sky.
The Past: 2 years, 11 months
Roxas exhaled deeply as he made it onto the last step of Destiny Islands High. The island had changed since the last time he had seen it, or – more or less – flew over it: it had grown from a play site for kids to an actual city. He didn't want to think about the past, though. He wanted to continue forward, start a new life with his sister, Naminé, who stood beside him, her arms crossed but expressed the usual, monotone and patient mood on her face.
"Are you ready?" she asked, just before a roll of thunder sounded above their heads.
"I think so," Roxas responded quietly. He looked at her. "I'm kind of nervous though."
She smiled bitter-sweetly, thinking about where Roxas had been for the past three years, and all the things he had to endure. The good people are always the ones to suffer the most, she thought sarcastically. She dared not let the thought show in her eyes, though. "Everything will be fine. I'll show you to all my friends, and then you can get comfortable in your own way." She gave him her best reassuring smile as the sentence rolled off her tongue.
"What are your friends like?" Roxas inquired softly as they began to walk through the large, double-glass doors. The clouds behind them continually built up into black, threatening clouds. "Are they nice?"
"Well, one of them is very energetic. He's definitely not the type to be judgmental. None whatsoever. The other boy is ... well, he's just quiet. Doesn't really say much, and if asked, he says he just has a lot on his mind." Naminé blushed lightly. "He's a great listener, though." A nervous giggle, then, "Anyway. Then Kairi, my best friend of all my best friends, is kind of like Sora, the bouncy, energetic one that you'll meet soon, but Kairi isn't as off-the-walls as Sora is. You'll get to know them soon enough. I'm always bringing in new people to make them a little more comfortable in our school." Namine suddenly turned down a hallway and for a moment, Roxas was a little bewildered by all the people he was surrounded by, ranging from his age to eighteen years old. He quickly caught up to Naminé as she continued to speak.
"I don't think the courses here are as easy as where you had them," she said thoughtfully and carefully.
"No, probably not; I think we've been over this before," Roxas replied calmly, his eyes darting from face to face. So many new faces to dread every day, he thought wildly for a second, but strained to keep his expression calm and relaxed. It was easy to do with the muscles of the face; not so easy with the eyes.
So many things have changed so quickly.
"And sometimes, they treat you like you're in college," Naminé spoke again, over the multitude of loud and excited voices. "Did I tell you this as well?"
Roxas gave a short nod as they wound their way through the halls. "How come they decided to build this school so large?"
"There was a population boom, and they needed a school. This was the start of an all-grades school, but when the population continued to enlarge, they felt it best to finally split up the grades into two schools."
"High school and elementary." The blond nodded, understanding. "That would make a lot of sense. Were you around for that?"
"With as much traveling as I've done I don't remember it clearly like some of my other friends do, but bits and pieces." She blushed, remembering some of them as they walked.
"So where's our first class?" Roxas looked at his piece of paper that held the information about his classes and reread, for the umpteenth time, his first class, his teacher and the room the class was in. He looked up and was suddenly swept away, again, by the enormity of the school and the surging and pulsing bodies that came and went. Teens traveling in groups of two, three, five, and six… It was all so overwhelming to the blond that Roxas had the sudden urge to faint.
But I can't. I must stay focused, the blond thought to himself. Gotta stay focused.
"Oh, it's right down here. Actually, I think I have the same classes as you," Naminé replied casually, her hand automatically digging in her white purse for her time schedule. Finding it with a satisfied gesture, Naminé grabbed the wrinkled sheet of paper from Roxas' hands and compared the two. She smiled. "All the better," the girl responded with a smile. "We do have the same classes together. This will be brilliant." Naminé's cheeks flushed with anticipation. "I have so much to show you, so much to tell." She beamed at the blond.
Roxas smiled to himself. He couldn't remember when he felt so happy. Maybe before everything in the past had happened, he had been happy. But, shaking his head, Roxas wanted to keep moving forward. Everything was going to be okay in the end and that's all that the blond, who was no taller than Naminé – "We share the same genes as our parents," she had told him when they first reconnected – cared about.
"I just want to be happy."
The blond looked up, wondering who had said the same sentence he had said just minutes earlier, until he realized it was he who had repeated the phrase. He blushed as he felt Naminé's stare bear into his consciousness.
Overhead, the bell suddenly sounded – clanking and uneven – and bodies began to move quickly, the voices growing louder and larger, as if somebody was turning up the volume notch on a stereo. Roxas turned and, for a minute, lost sight of Naminé when he felt her small, soft hand touch his arm and gently wrapped its fingers around the skinny limb. The blond twisted over his shoulder to see his sister look at him earnestly.
She mouthed, "Everything's gonna be okay."
Such simple words for merely just starting at a school with classmates he hadn't seen in years. The boy was convinced none of his friends would recognize him due to Roxas' changes. His face, once pudgy with baby fat, had become almost masculine, but still carried a feminine touch. His eyes had grown cloudy, almost expressionless – Naminé was the only one who could read his eyes – and his hair had grown longer and had formed its own bed-head style. All in all, Roxas had completely changed and, he noted with a fraction of distaste, was still the shortest kid in the school.
Naminé guided him through the pulsing crowd and, with much pushing and pathetic apologies, finally stumbled into their first class.
The crowd, most of which were goofing around and throwing paper airplanes or paper balls – hadn't Roxas seem something like this in a movie once? – had already arrived. Looking at his now moist and even more crumpled piece of paper, Roxas read the student count and quickly did a calculation. There were three that were missing. It was Naminé, him, and—
"Hmm. Sora must not be here," Naminé almost whispered thoughtfully. "Where is he?"
As their teacher rose, whose name was handwritten neatly on the blackboard and stated that he was known as Mr. Squall, a mousy, well-tanned boy suddenly burst into the room as Roxas and Naminé were settling down in their seats, Naminé in front of Roxas.
"Sora," Mr. Squall said coolly and almost sarcastically, "welcome to the first day back."
The boy's eyes grew large in a split second and quickly sat down at his seat – which was in front of Naminé – as he exclaimed, "Mr. Squall, I am so sorry! I kind of slept in as I'm still in summer mode, and you know how my mother can be, what with being such a procrastinator and all…"
"Doesn't that remind us of someone in particular?" the brown-headed teacher responded without blinking, an eyebrow cocked. There was a velvety tinkle of laughter that rose and died, and when there was silence, Mr. Squall walked to the direction of the row that Roxas was seated in.
The blond shrunk in his seat. He hated this part.
"So, class, as you know we get new students in homeroom every year. You know what I'll say, but in the school's sake I'll say it again. You must always treat new students with respect, and graciously welcome them to our school. Now, if I could get Roxas to stand up and introduce himself…"
At that, Roxas bolted up right, nearly falling over as his legs caught the chair attached to the desk. The boy gained his balance and shifted his footing, rubbing his clammy hands on his shorts.
"Ah, I – uh – don't really know what to say. I've been here before, but was, ah, more or less taken away due to particular reasons. I was raised here on Destiny Islands, and then I, uh, went traveling for three years—"
"Whoa, you've been traveling?"
"Where have you gone?"
"What have you seen?"
"Did you meet any cute girls?"
"Or guys, you never know with that outfit he's wearing."
"Guys! Settle down!" Mr. Squall barked. Roxas quickly looked at his outfit, then at Namine. She shook her head. The class became quiet immediately. Mr. Squall cleared his throat. "Do continue, Roxas."
The blond shifted his footing again. "I have been traveling, but the funny thing is I don't really remember where I've been. I know it seems strange but it was all in such a blur that I can't remember. But, yeah, no, I'm not exactly new here, I'm not a foreign import or anything, but I've been kind of disconnected, in a way, from everybody here." Hesitating, Roxas bit his lip and then sat down at his seat awkwardly. The class was silent, taking in what he had said.
Mr. Squall looked at the heads turned towards Roxas, then cleared his throat once again. The class snapped its attention forward.
"Anything else you'd like to add, Roxas?"
Caught in his train of thoughts, Roxas looked at Mr. Squall with a shocked expression. His eyes clouded over again and he shook his head calmly. The man regarded Roxas for a moment as Roxas turned his head back towards the window, and whispered, "All right then."
The Present
A large boom of thunder sounded over Roxas' head, snapping the blond from the depths of his memories. The feeling of struggling and confliction was still fresh in the blonde's mind. He tried to shake it out, thinking, That definitely can't be a good sign. He rose from where he had sat on the couch, stretched, and looked out the windows. A flash swept the blond out of his serenity and for a moment felt anxious and worried. Definitely not a good sign, the blond thought again. He scurried over to the telephone and dialled a number he knew all too well.
Three rings later, a familiar voice came on the line. "Roxas! Are you scared?"
"More than you think. Listen, Sora, can I come over for a bit, just until the storm is gone?"
"Or would you rather me go over there?" the brunet countered.
Roxas let the question sink in, and then realized why Sora had asked. "If you're up for it, then that would be great."
"You know I love thunderstorms. I'll be over in a bit."
"Thanks." Roxas hung up the phone; another flash lit up the living room. He hated to have to ask Sora to come over to his place – the brunet's parents were consistently worried about their son going into such storms – but it comforted him to know that Sora would always be there.
After many lightning strikes and thunder booms later, Sora finally knocked on the door, causing the blond to squeal, both in fright and delight.
"You know, it's actually really funny," the brunet said immediately as he walked into Roxas' apartment, "because I was thinking as I was coming over here that usually you like thunderstorms, and the only time you don't like them is when you've been remembering."
"I know, and it's not like I mean to, but it just happens," Roxas replied apologetically. "I can't really control it. There are always those certain triggers that cause me to think about what had happened."
"And usually it depends as to what you've been remembering, too," Sora nodded thoughtfully. "So what were you remembering?"
Roxas told the brunet, as Sora stretched out in his favourite armchair, what he had been thinking about.
Sora frowned when Roxas had finished. "Odd."
"I know. It just seems to be that whenever I remember anything about my past, good or bad, it usually frightens me."
"And those memories weren't that awful…"
"It was my first year of being back in the education system, Sora."
"True. But still."
"Yeah, I guess it wasn't that bad."
The blond gingerly sat down on the sofa that resided beside the armchair, separated by a lamp stand. The two sat in silence as the storm raged outside, deep in thought.
"Have you talked to your psychiatrist at all?" Sora finally asked.
"No." Roxas rubbed his eyes with his palms. "I haven't talked to him in a long time."
"You should get right on that."
"Don't you remember what I told you, about the last time I had seen him?"
Sora paused, his mouth open, and once the brunet realized what Roxas was speculating about, it slowly formed an 'O' shape, then finally closed. A flash of lightning scared both Roxas and Sora out of their deep thinking, and they looked at each other. The booming and sickening clap of thunder that pursued made the boys shudder.
"What a storm," Sora nervously chuckled.
"The worst I've ever seen," Roxas agreed.
And nothing more was said.
The Past: 3 years, 1 month
The tired and anxious blond observed what was happening beyond the window. It was storming, which wasn't a big surprise. In Hollow Bastion, it was constantly storming or cloudy; the sun never shone. The rain lashed against the double-paned window voraciously, the lightning intense and the thunder incredulous.
Just another day in Hollow Bastion. Roxas yawned.
"So Roxas," a man to his right said, "what progress have they made?"
The blond turned towards his psychiatrist of the month – Roxas never did find out his name – with a blank expression. "What do you mean?"
"Everything," the white-haired psychiatrist replied cautiously. "There was an extensive amount of tests that were performed on you over the last … two years?"
"Two years and eleven months," Roxas corrected. "I can even give the exact amount of minutes that have passed since the first test."
"Is that part of the symptoms that occur from these tests, or is it just you?"
"I don't know what you're asking," Roxas responded simply. "Ever since the doctors took away my memories and feelings, that's all I know how to do, is to just keep going forward."
The doctor nodded, writing down notes on already-scribbled on documents from the blond's previous psychiatrists. He found from last time's appointment why he had so many, and it wasn't the kid's fault. Not to mention that the doctors had done too many exams and tests on the blond that they nearly sucked everything out of the boy, and now they were doing what they did best: they did more tests to see if their tests work. With a frown, the doctor wrote down what the scientists were looking for.
Feeling sympathy for this kid, however, was a bad personal trait the dark-skinned doctor had gained growing up himself. And this kid was only, what, fourteen years old? They would have started testing on him since he was twelve.
The doctor shook his head. Leaning forward in his chair, he asked quietly, "Would you like to gain your memories again?"
Roxas turned towards the man. "You can do that?"
The expressionless emotion etched in the blond's eyes stung the doctor. Man, they really took a number on this kid, the doctor thought sadistically. "Yes. I can," the doctor said. He slammed the folder of notes onto the table that acted as a foot stool for the young blond and represented as a wall between the doctor and his patients, and got up, pacing in front of the window. "There's a certain technique in psychiatry that is fairly new to us," the doctor explained. "I've only done it on one or two patients, and they were able to regain their memories from there." Sitting in the sofa across the blond, he looked deep into Roxas' eyes. "It's known as hypnosis. What I do is that I put you into a state of sub consciousness, and I communicate with you as you're more or less sleeping. You can respond to me perfectly fine, as I will be asking you questions." The doctor lowered his voice and leaned in so that the doctor's nose was nearly touching the blond's. "The scientists here don't know about this, as they perform these tests merely to find out if the human mind can completely be erased of its memories and emotion, but they don't know that the mind will always remember. You'd have to promise to me that you would never repeat this technique past these doors. You'd have to pretend to be in the state that you are currently in if changes to begin to happen and you're back to your normal self. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes."
The doctor paused, sighed, then moved back to his chair. "I'll be scheduling another appointment for you to attend two days from now, so that would make it…"
"Tuesday."
The white-headed doctor regarded Roxas. Apprehensively he responded, "Yes. Tuesday." After one final glance, the doctor dismissed Roxas, and watched him leave the room. He sighed once again, shaking his head.
I hate my job.