Name: Laura Isaac
E-mail: laura_isaac@hotmail.com
Rating: R - NC17
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I just like to play God! weg
Distribution: Anyone who wants this but please tell me where its going so my ego can be massaged!!
Feedback: Yes please!
Spoilers: None really but it is post - "Grave"
Summary: The Powers That Be have a hand in the Willow/Tara relationship one last time.
Notes: Dark at the beginning but it does lighten up somewhat as the story goes on :) as I am a kitten after all!
"Will....Willow, WILLLOW, come back!" Xander shouted after an advancing Willow who had just taken off into the night as fast as she could. He hadn't meant to say it but somehow it had just slipped out. He hadn't been sure what to say and when the red - head asked him how he felt about the things that had happened he had spoken his mind before he had found a way of sugar coating it and instantly wished the ground would swallow him up whole, but he had to find Willow and quickly...
She had broken away from Xander and ran to the only place her mind and heart would take her but still it was not far enough away - away from them, away from the things that she had done and once again she had lost everything - everyone. When she had asked him what he thought she half expected something evil, after all she had been evil but what came out of his mouth knocked her sideways. She knew she had hurt them, all of them, but not half as much as she now realised. The soft rumble of thunder and the slow fall of rain did not deter her as she made her way through the tall, wrought iron gate and into the yard and down the well - worn path she knew all too well as of late and to the silence, the solitude that lay within. She traced the hard bold letters that spelt out the name of her beloved and softly began to cry.
"I can't do this anymore, I need you, everyday I'm alive it gets harder without you, every breath I take hurts" Willow began, her words choked behind her sobs "I try, I get up in the morning, I stay alive even though you and I both know it'll be easier for me to just curl up and die, at least then there'd be a chance that we'd be together again." She quickly reached into her inside pocket and drew something out, the blade glistened in the soft moonlight from above. She brought it up to her, her purpose clear now, clear as the soft silvery moonlight that shone down on her, and stared hard at it. Willow took a deep breath and holding it she quickly drew it across her wrist and watched as the blood mixed with the rain and ran down into the greedy earth below, taking another deep breath she repeated the action again on the other wrist.
"Buffy" Xander ran into the Summer's residence, his second home ever since the two had become friends. "Buffy, its Will" He ran into the kitchen and nearly crashed headfirst into the youngest Summers, who was busy making toast on the kitchen table "Buf....Dawn" Xander said breathlessly "Where's Buffy?" he almost shouted
"She's out on patrol, she should be back soon. Xander, where's Willow? What's wrong with her?"
"She.....I don't know where she is, we need to find her quickly. She asked me....I told her....I didn't think, we need to find her Dawn, now!"
Taping a hurriedly written note to the fridge the two grabbed whatever weapons they had to hand and ran out of the door.
"See!" Willow shouted "See whats happened. I need to be with you, I need you, I love you Tara and its tearing me apart. I thought I'd lost you when Glory raped your mind but I found you, I thought I'd lost you when you walked out on me but we found each other again, but this....this is different. I'm afraid that after all I've done that I never will find you, I'm doomed to eternity without you. My life started with you but now...now, its nothing, I'm nothing, I never was anything without you!"
She fell down on her knees and her head swam through the sudden continual loss of blood but still she continued; "Not even they can stand me now, I didn't know just how much I'd hurt them. When you died, when I felt your lifeless body against me, I just lost it completely. It had always been there, this power, but never as bad as this, it was like a black mist overtook me and it filled the emptiness, filled the gaping hole. I know I should have stopped it, but I couldn't, I didn't just cross the line, I rubbed it out completely! I was so stupid. Every day I live with this, your loss, my withdrawals, the pain of knowing I killed someone, the pain of knowing that they may never trust me again. They will always see the magic in my eyes, live in the fear that I may go off the deep end again and cause even more damage than even before and it gets harder and harder to deal with it all, which is why I have to end it...it'll be better for them, better for me, better for anyone who has ever known Willow Rosenberg"
The blood from her wrist flowed more freely now, mixing with the heavier rain and quickly disappearing as it soaked into the ground, Willow's head swan even more, her consciousness slipping and her breathing getting slower by the minute. Slipping further and further down she laid cross the grave and closed her eyes and whispered "Tara......" as the darkness finally overcame her.
"We need to find her Dawn, where could she be?" Xander asked, the pain and raw concern in his voice apparent, "Willow!" he shouted in a vain attempt that she might answer him. Thinking, Dawn suddenly struck upon a brain wave; "Xander if you were Willow, where would you be?"
"Now is not the best time for jokes Dawn..." Xander began, suddenly he caught on and shouted "Tara!" and simultaneously they ran towards Tara's final resting place and hopefully Willow's salvation.
"You can't let her do this....you can't....the pain is unbearable, for her....for me, you must stop this!" the plea came, panic stricken, but still in the same soft, sultry voice of Willow's lover.
"She must be punished, you cannot change what has been done. She brought this all on herself and she has chosen this way to solve the problem, so be it!" Gabriel began
"But you promised me we'd soon be together, we were ripped away from each other and I need her. She was my life and she is my soul mate. How can you allow this to happen?" Tara continued, trying to get her point across to the stubborn arch angel that allowed this pain to continued
"Please, just one more time, let me be with her one more time, let me see her, touch her, feel her against me one more time. Don't let this happen, please I beg of you, of all that is right, don't let her die. Give her a chance, give her time. She will change...just please give her time" then she gave way to tears.
As he watched her, Gabriel's resolved weaken slightly; "So be it, she will not die. Just watch Tara, just watch, and if she can change, you can be with her one more time."
"Willow" Dawn and Xander shouted as they crashed through the gate and across the path, "Willow" they shouted again, the rain lashing at their faces, the thunder getting heavier in the distance and the lightening lighting up the sky for brief flashed at a time. As they reached the site of their friends final resting place their breath caught in their throat as they beheld the sight in front of them - Willow deathly pale, stretched out on the top soil and the blade still caught in between her fingers. Dawn's hand went to her moth in horror and she began to cry "No...Willow, no you haven't....not you too!"
Xander ran up to his best friend and got down onto his knees, he felt for any signs of life with his shaking fingers. First finding none he checked again, hoping, praying that she was still alive, he could never forgive himself if she wasn't. "Dawn.....Dawn...help me, she's alive, but only just, we need to get her to the hospital" Xander stammered.
Willow was flying, she could see the others down below and watched in fascination as they struggled to lift her up and carry her out, finally succeeding in their task through the rain and the winds. There was no more pain, no more suffering, only bliss, complete and utter happiness. She gazed across and she smiled happily as she saw her lover walk slowly towards her, her arms outstretched. Only this smile was quickly erased however as she Tara was crying; "This is not meant to be, not yet, not like this, you must go"
"Why...?" but the answer was cut short as she felt herself fall, sharply, quickly, out of the happiness, the bliss, the only sound audible were her cries as she fell back to earth.
"Tara?!" Willow mumbled groggily, her head swimming and the pain behind her eyes unbelievable. "Tara...why must I go back? I don't want to, I need you!" she struggled to get up but a firm hand pushed her back down again onto the pillow; "Willow, we are not Tara and you need to stay still" a voice half familiar burrowed itself into Willow muddled up head, it was Buffy. Willow shook her head slowly and turned to look at the blonde who was staring in concern down at her; "What..." she said quietly as everything that had happened finally dawned on her and in an instant she knew exactly where she was and she knew that she had failed in her attempt.
"No I'm not meant to be here, I don't want to be here..I want to be with her..I need her so much...its killing me" Willow started, her full ability to babble not hampered by anything that had happened
"You don't need that to kill you, you nearly did that yourself" Anya started but was quickly cut of by a swift kick to the shin by Dawn who was sat next to her.
"Why did you do this Willow?" Buffy asked pointing to her wrists which were now neatly stitched up and extremely sore.
"I need her Buffy....I can't live without her anymore. She is my life, she is my soul mate and I can't go on like this. Living like this. You don't want me anymore, I have nothing, no one"
"You have us Willow, I know what has happened in the past but that's what it is, the past. You are my best friend Willow, you are our best friends" Buffy said quietly as she pointed to everyone in the room in turn "Otherwise we wouldn't be here, we wouldn't have saved you, wouldn't have brought you here"
"But Xander....-"
"Xander didn't mean it, he was just angry. Look at him Willow, does he really hate you? We all love you and care for you and we will help you get through this, everything okay? You just need to trust us, we all need to trust one another again"
"I'm sorry.....I'm so sorry" Willow said quietly as her quiet resolve gave way to tears once more.
18 Months later......
Willow moaned softly and molded herself to the familiar touch of her lover. Opening her eyes slowly she saw something that almost made her heart stop in her chest; "T...Tara?!" she said in disbelief but this was stopped short by a finger to the lips.
"My Willow" Tara said softly; "Do you realise how long I've waited for this night...."
But before she had time to answer the question Tara kissed her slowly, deeply on the lips and watched as she saw her lover reel against her touch. It had finally come, the night that Gabriel promised, her heart ached for the fact it was only one night but Tara was determined to make it a night to remember forever until they were together again. Breathing in the scent that was uniquely Willow she kissed her again, deeper, wanting to make this night last forever. Breaking the kiss she used her hands to map every part of Willow's face, memorising every last feature, curve and line, committing them to her soul. She gently captured her earlobe and sucked at it, knowing that it always drove her wild, she knew Willow's body better than knew her own at times and knew the very spots that incited the most pleasure from her Willow and was determined to find each and everyone of them tonight.
Moving from her earlobe she placed butterfly kisses on her neck, stopping every so often to suckle there, leaving lightly red marks. She positioned herself on top and gazed down at her soul mate below her, she always liked to look at her before they made love, she was always so right, so perfect, so Willow. Tara smiled sadly but luckily Willow did not see it, sighing softly she continued her journey southwards. Reaching her breasts she ran her fingers lazily over them, causing Willow to buck forward slightly, seeking a firmer hand. Obliging that request Tara pressed harder, kneading them with the flats of her hands, enjoying the sounds coming out of her fiery - haired lover. Quickly she replaced her hand with her tongue, teasing the flesh around the more sensitive nipple before her own need forced her suckle there, teasing, one then the other, Willow's arched back forcing Tara to take as much as could inside, whilst trying to make things last, drag things out.
Continuing her journey ever southwards to the place they both needed was slow and meaningful, as so many times before, so right, so perfect. No one had ever made Tara feel the way she did with Willow, no one else brought out the needs, the raw emotions, the desire that were rushing through the both of them, the pure chemical reaction that happened every time they were together, the electricity passing through them watch and every time they gave themselves, mind, body and soul to each other and this time was no different. Reaching her centre she stopped, slowing her breathing down as she prepared to give pleasure to Willow where she needed it the most. Slowly she entered her with her tongue, gazing up every now and again to watch the emotions flick over Willow's face. Taking up a slow rhythm she entered a finger and curled it upwards, eliciting a loud moan from her woman above, entering another she continued at a pace that was almost maddening.
Speeding up ever so slightly she teased her very sender causing Will to moan ever louder, by wither the connection they shared or just a woman's intuition she could sense she was getting close so she took her centre in her mouth and suckled sharply, sending Will over the edge and causing her to call out her names to the heavens like so many times before. Waiting until Will had come down slightly Tara pulled and and placed butterfly kisses over her Willow's slick body as she made her way back upwards, where she glanced down at Willow's content face, a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat of old graced her face and her eyes were shut, a large sigh escaped her body.
"I love you baby..." Willow mumbled as sleep quickly overtook her
"I love you too Willow" Tara said quietly, a tinge of sadness in her voice knowing this would be their last time until the time was right for them to be together once more.
Willow awoke and gazed over to the other side of the bed where her lover was sleeping. Reaching over she kissed her softly on the lips. Tara stirred every so slightly and opened her eyes. Willow watched as the emotions flicked over her Tara's face; shock, disbelief followed by happiness and the trade mark half - smile graced her face once more. Then ever so softly at the back of her mind Tara swore she heard the voice of Gabriel; "One more chance, you were meant to be, so be it" Tara smiled and kisses Willow back, safe in the knowledge they had as long as destiny allowed them and not even death could keep them apart!