Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This contains references to my story Think of England but can stand on it's own. Thank you to Lanie for always being there.
"Amanda, thank you for meeting me for lunch." Joe stood to greet his ex-wife with a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug before pulling her chair out to help her get settled at their table in the corner of the restaurant.
"No problem, Sweetheart, it sounded important." Amanda smiled and then turned to the waiter who approached their table.
"Good afternoon, I'm Tom and I'll be your server today. Would you like to start with a drink?" The young man placed glasses of ice water at their settings while speaking and then took his order pad from a hidden pocket.
"Amanda, your usual?"
"That would be great."
"We'll have a bottle of sauvignon blanc."
"A bottle?" Amanda raised her eyebrow. "Isn't that a lot to drink for lunch?"
"It might be a long conversation." Joe quickly responded. "You did say you had the afternoon off didn't you?"
"Yes, but I still need to function this afternoon." Amanda began to worry about what might be so important that Joe felt she might need more than her usual glass with lunch. "Joe, you're not sick are you?" She reached across the table to grasp his hand needing to have physical contact with him.
Smiling at her obvious concern, Joe squeezed her hand reassuringly, "Honey, it's nothing like that. I just thought we might each have two glasses of wine instead of one and it's more convenient to have the bottle at the table so the waiter won't have to interrupt us as much."
"Joe, the last time you ordered us a bottle of wine with lunch was when you told me you had accepted the overseas assignment that EAO had offered you. Is this conversation going to be as vocal as that one?" Amanda glared at him waiting for him to break.
"No, Amanda, I don't expect this to be loud at all. In fact, I believe hushed tones would be better in this situation." Joe was relieved to see their waiter approach the table with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
"Are you ready to order or do you need a few moments?" Tom inquired while he began filling their glasses.
"We'll both have the roasted chicken. Thank you." Joe ordered and handed the waiter back their menus. "I hope that's alright with you. I would really like to get this conversation started."
"So would I, Joe. You really have me worried."
"It's really nothing to be worried about. It's just something that happened when I had the boys at the lake earlier this week."
"Well, I assume they're fine or we would be sitting in a hospital not at a restaurant. Don't tell me that they walked in on you and Carrie again." Amanda smiled thinking back on their conversation three months prior.
"No, Carrie and I have learned our lesson. No sex when the boys are around until we are married and can lock our bedroom door. She stayed home this time so I could spend time alone with the boys. I had wanted to have that conversation about sex."
"Good, I'm glad to know that we are both setting good examples for our sons. Since that first night home from California, Lee has not spent the night at the house and I only stay at the apartment when you have the boys. How did that conversation go?" Amanda picked up her glass of wine and took a sip. "Joe, this is good wine."
"Good, you might want to take another sip before I continue." Joe picked up his glass and drank the whole glass needing the liquid courage to tell his ex-wife what happened.
Seeing this, Amanda took a long sip herself, feeling that she might need it. "Okay Joe, whatever it is, spit it out. I cannot stand the anticipation."
"Well, the boys didn't catch Carrie and I, but I did catch Phillip." Joe looked into his glass not wanting to see Amanda's disappointment.
"You caught Phillip doing what?" Amanda asked not catching what Joe meant.
"I caught Phillip in the boathouse with a girl." Joe mumbled.
"Oh Joe, Phillip's been kissing girls for a while now. I thought I told you that. I caught him with a hickey about a year ago." Amanda was relieved. She reached for her glass and started to take another sip when Joe continued.
"No Amanda, they weren't kissing. She was uuummm...uuummm, well she was giving him his birthday surprise."
"What do you mean his birthday surprise? His birthday was three months ago."
"Amanda," Joe dragged out her name hoping she would catch on to what he was referring to. When he realized from her confused look that she wasn't, he leaned forward and continued in just above a whisper. "Don't you remember what you used to do for me on my birthday? Your birthday surprise."
"Oh," Amanda stated and then repeated louder, her eyes wide with shock. "OH! No, you have to be mistaken. He's only 14. He's much too young for that." Shaking her head trying to get the image that popped into her mind's eye to go away.
"How old were you when you first, first, well, you know?" Joe asked trying to keep their conversation private.
"I was young too but at least I was 16 before I ever did that to a boy."
"Yeah, well, so was this girl."
"You mean this, this, hussy was 16. She's much too old for Phillip to be hanging around with. Weren't you watching him? What was he doing out by himself where she could get her hands on my baby?" Amanda once again picked up her glass of wine and emptied it. Joe immediately refilled it knowing she was going to need it.
"I was with Jamie on the speed boat. We had been tubing around the lake when Phillip decided he was hungry and went back to the cabin for something to eat. I didn't see the need to walk our 14 year old son back to the cabin a few hundred yards away."
"If he was going to get something to eat, how did he end up with a hussy in the boathouse?"
"Ahhhmmm" Tom cleared his throat as he approached the table noting the couple's heated conversation. "Your lunch." He put the plates down and looking pointedly at Joe he added "I'll leave you alone. Please wave me down if you need anything else."
Joe smiled realizing that Tom must have heard Amanda's last remark. "Thank you Tom, I will."
"Amanda, Samantha is not a hussy. She is the Hendersons' granddaughter. You remember Judge and Mrs. Henderson, my parents' best friend and next-door neighbors. She's actually a very nice young lady." Joe explained while placing his napkin in his lap and starting in on his lunch.
"Just because she is a judge's granddaughter does not mean she's not a hussy." Amanda reached for her glass once again.
"No it doesn't but the fact that Sammi is an intelligent, well-spoken, polite young lady does. Amanda you're jumping to conclusions when you have not met the young lady."
"Sammi, hhhmmmpph, I should have known, I bet she spells it with an 'i' at the end like all other hussys." As she went to reach for her glass she realized it was somehow empty and reached for the bottle.
Joe was quicker and held the bottle in place. "Honey, you've already had three glasses, maybe you should eat something before you have another."
Amanda realized that she hadn't even put her napkin in her lap, reached for it and started on her meal before looking up at Joe again. "So does she?"
"Does she what?" Joe asked
"Does she spell it with an 'i' at the end?"
"As a matter of fact, she does, Mandi."
"I have never been called Mandi!" Amanda stated adamantly.
"I do remember one night when I called you Mandi. My reunion, the baseball field." Joe smiled at the memory of Amanda fulfilling one of his fantasies so many years ago."
"Joe, I was playing a part, at your suggestion if you remember. In fact, that proves my point, I was playing the part of a slut which is why 'Mandi' fit so well into your fantasy."
"Boy, was that a good night."
"Stop that." Amanda spoke in her best mother voice. "We're here to discuss Phillip and that trollop."
"So now she's a trollop."
"Well, you won't let me call her a hussy so trollop it is. What else would you call a girl who would, would..." Amanda stopped, took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "service a boy like that when she had just met him."
"Well, I called her my prom date, technically, I was her prom date but still we had just met and I lost my virginity to her that night." Joe again smiled thinking back on that night long ago.
"Oh that's right, you also lost your virginity to a trollop." Amanda once again reached for the bottle of wine and was able to fill her glass this time without Joe's interference.
"First of all, Frankie was not a trollop, she was a shy brunette with braces and glasses who needed a date for her junior prom. My cousin Julie talked me into going with her."
"Yes, and Frankie was so grateful that she stole your virginity." Amanda realized her glass was once again empty. She reached for the bottle and found it too was empty so she finished off Joe's wine.
"Secondly," Joe continued ignoring Amanda's comment and regretting his choice of ordering a whole bottle of wine, "you were not a blushing bride on our wedding night. What was his name? Oh yes, little Stevie." hitting the word little hard.
"It's Dr. Steve now," came Amanda's quick response stressing the word doctor, "And he had been my boyfriend for a long time before we took that step. Unlike your mousy little four-eyed brace-face."
"Amanda, this is getting off topic and you're getting drunk. Can we please stop discussing our pasts and talk about Phillip?" Joe patience was wearing thin. "Why don't we finish our lunch and I'll tell you about my conversation with him." Joe caught Tom's eye and lifted the coffee cup that was laying beside his plate. Tom immediately approached and filled both cups before making a hasty exit.
"Sorry, Joe, I guess the wine went to my head. So tell me exactly what happened. I promise, I'll sit here and eat quietly without commenting until you are finished."
"Thank you, so as I was saying, the boys and I were tubing in the lake. Jamie was on the tube and Phillip was waiting to take his next turn when he yelled to us that he was going to go back to the cabin for something to eat. After a little while, Jamie wanted to try water skiing. We brought the boat back to the dock and I left Jamie with the boat and before you ask, I had the keys, he was wearing his lifejacket and there were other adults within range if anything were to happen. Anyway, I headed to the boathouse to get the skis and found Phillip with his suit around his ankles and Sammi's bikini top on the ground. I stopped them before it got too far."
"Well, not quite." Off Joe's disapproving look, Amanda picked up her fork and continued to eat.
"I stopped them, much to their embarrassment and told Sammi to go home and Phillip to head back to the cabin, I would be there in a moment. I then got the skis and brought them down to Jamie. I asked Tom Johnson who was at the lake with his son if he would take control of the boat and let both boys go skiing."
"When I got back to the cabin Phillip was surly and told me I had humiliated him. I let him rant until he was done and asked him to sit down. I explained to him that what I caught him doing was a grown-up act and if he thought he was old enough to participate in such an act that he should be old enough to sit down and talk about it like a man."
"Okay, did he accept that?" Amanda asked slowly coming out of her daze with the help of coffee and food.
"Well, he sat down and explained why what he was doing was acceptable because they weren't hurting anyone and it felt good. Then I explained to him why it was not. I told him that while you and I feel that he is too young to be involved in a sexual situation if he feels like he is truly old enough then he must consider a few things. Protection, are they safe from pregnancy and unwanted diseases? Feelings, do the two people involved in the situation have the same feelings for each other? If one feels more strongly than the other, it could cause problems. Long term issues. Even with protection and mutual feelings, what if an unwanted pregnancy were to happen? Had he thought of those consequences? Did he believe he could take care of a child? What about the mother? Did he know Sammi well enough to know if she would be a good mother for his child?"
"Did he understand what you were trying to tell him?" Finishing her coffee, she really wished there was more wine. Joe still had the boys for another couple of nights so she was staying the night with Lee. Maybe some take out, a bottle wine and a night in his arms would make this whole conversation seem like a bad dream.
"Well, he argued a few of the points and then stormed off to his bedroom for the rest of the night. He did come to me the next day to apologize for his actions. We then had a long talk and discussed everything and I do mean everything about sex. I told him that we felt strongly that he wait until he was older and was at least in a long term relationship."
"Do you think he listened? Did you explain the difference between having sex and making love? Do you think he understood?" Amanda rapid fired the questions at him.
"Honey, relax. He did listen and he does understand the differences now. I shared my first time experience with him and told him that as much as I was happy at the moment to finally have done it that I have regretted it for many years. I explained how I didn't have a connection with the girl, we were both drinking and I haven't seen her since. I always worried that she regretted it. That maybe I had hurt her." Joe shook his head trying to shake his past from his thoughts.
"Joe, I'm sure she doesn't. You were just a kid yourself and you would never push yourself on a girl." Amanda reached across the table to give his hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Thank you." He smiled at her once again wondering how he got so lucky to have Amanda in his life. "l just always wondered what happened to her if her smile was pretty now that her braces are off. Well, she's in the past. I'm sure she's married with children by now. Anyway, back to Phillip. He agreed to talk to me before he went any further than kissing so I think we don't have to worry about it for a while."
"Thank you for handling this. It would have been very embarrassing for both him and me if I had to talk to him."
Seeing that their conversation had wound down, Tom approached. "Can I get you anything else sir?"
"No, thank you Tom, just the check." Looking across the restaurant, something caught Joe's eye. "Amanda, isn't that Lee over there?"
Turning in her chair to look in the direction Joe indicated. "Yes it is. I didn't know he was going to be here. He has been in a meeting since early this morning. He didn't know you had called for lunch."
Tom approached then and Joe paid the bill, leaving a large tip appreciating Tom leaving them alone. "Should we go over and say hi or sneak out?"
"Joe, there is no reason to sneak out. I'm going tell Lee all about our conversation today. We keep no secrets."
"No secrets, Mandi?" Joe laughed as Amanda blushed.
"Well, maybe just one or two." Amanda laughed. "Come on. Let's go say hi."
"Let me just call the office to see if my secretary was able to cancel my meeting for this afternoon. I want to go home and spend the afternoon with the boys. I'll be over in a minute."
"Amanda, what are you two doing here." Lee got up from the table to greet his wife.
"I met Joe for lunch. We were discussing his trip with boys."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I'll explain later. Do you have your car?"
"No, Francine drove us here why do you need a lift?"
"No, I was hoping you would drive my car and I'll have Joe drop me. I had a little too much wine with lunch. I would rather not drive." Amanda reached into her purse and retrieved her car keys. "Thank you, I'm parked in the back."
Joe approached the table. "Lee, it's nice to see you."
"Joe I don't think you've ever met our co-worker and friend…" Amanda started
"Frankie?" Joe asked looking at Francine.
"Francine, Francine Desmond." Francine replied, looking at Joe oddly.
"It is you! Frankie, don't you remember me? I took you to your prom. My cousin Julie set us up."
"Wait a minute." Amanda exclaimed pointing between Joe and Francine. "You're Frankie! Joe's Frankie." She then dissolved into a fit of laughter realizing that Francine was Joe's first.
"Nobody calls me Frankie, not since high school and I went to my prom with a guy from Chevy Chase named Johnny." Francine replied haughtily.
Joe thought for a moment and then laughed. "That's right, you were drunk and thought my name was Johnny. You kept singing that Jerry Lee Lewis song, Frankie and Johnny."
"I was not and it was Elvis Presley who sang that song." Francine crossed her arms and glared at Joe.
Amanda started to laugh even harder. "Joe, don't you have a photo album in the boxes in the attic from your high school years. I know you had a couple of pictures of Frankie in there. You showed them to me years ago when you told me the story of that prom and the after party."
"Amanda, dear, I still have more pictures in the Francine Desmond files from my first couple of years at the Agency that you would be quite interested in." She looked at Lee with a knowing nod.
"So a trade?" Amanda smiled. "It depends. Would they be worth it?"
"They would be worth my clothing allowance for two years. Deal?". Francine stuck her hand out.
"Deal. I'll bring the pictures in on Monday." Amanda shook hands and then smile sweetly at Lee. "I own you now, Scarecrow."