How Will I Know If Love Changes Everything?
"How Will I Know" by Whitney Houston (0:20:41) watch?v=MoJI1Y7I8uw
The droplets knocking against the tomb's solid stony façade were intensifying the longer they were shut out. After her rather ineffectual encounter to kick Klaus Mikaelson's ass once and for all, she had come up with an flimsy excuse saying if she had to sell her soul and her inner beliefs to her own personal devil in order to save her friend Cami from being misused as a vassal for some maniac witch, she'd rather start some research than spending her time getting on a fool's errand at the devil's residence. Allowedly, her excuse had not only been one of flimsiness but of misbehavior. It wasn't that she cared that much anyway if not for the possibility of having gambled away the little respect she'd earned. Not to forget one certain young newbie witch changing sides and allies like chocolate to cotton candy.
When this new danger became apparent on the horizon without a chance of being postponed, Davina had kept cool and set to work though this task turned out to be far more complicated than originally assumed. Screw that. Since when has any task she'd found herself confronted with been easy? Wishful thinking was misplaced here as well as her entire role in this horseplay. She hadn't settled for this and to call the spade a spade the pay was antic: Murder, mayhem, pain, and loss accompanying a free home delivery of heartsickness.
The dust having settled on the furniture over the past 100 years was dancing around Davina's delicate frame like a prima ballerina mocking her with her grace, her knowledge and the history she had shared with him.
There's a boy I know
He's the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes
Takes me to the clouds above
The more she thought about it the less enthusiastic she got. There was no way she would be able to do this all own her own. It never paid to underestimate her but on the other hand she knew by experience it never had paid to practice overestimation either. And truth was: the clock was running faster than sound. She missed the days she used to spend jailed away at the attic. Numerous of endless minutes of loneliness were the demand good now. Not to care about the time working against her, she'd have enough time to get in touch with the ropes and join the ends loose. If only she knew what topic she'd have to get in touch with. It was of no avail. She needed to call…
"Hello Darling, I knew you'd be here."
His smooth voice tickled her ear, making her jump back. "Kol?" She was scolding herself of the resonate tremble falsifying her voice even before this very word of sin had left her mouth.
Oh, wake me, I'm shaking
Wish I had you near me now
Said there's no mistaking
What I feel is really love
"In the flesh. Well kind of. Seeing that this is not my body but who am I to act all judgmental here."
"I am afraid the ability to judge does not belong to the configuration of yours?" Kol's smug grin vanished from one second to the other. Could it be that she had gotten Kol freaking Mikaelson muzzled? Davina felt a slight flame of pride evoking deep within her. Or did she dare to think that…she'd might hurt his feelings?
How will I know?
(Don't trust your feelings)
How will I know?
How will I know?
(Love can be deceiving)
How will I know?
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" The proof of her misdeed was given by the sight before her. His all body language was made of defensive stance; leaning against the wall close to the door casually with crossed arms combined with his facial expression gave him away. He wouldn't even look at her. With clenched teeth he whispered huskily: "It's alright, Davina. I understand. Now…uh…what are you up to?"
How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you what you know about these things
"Ahm…I was trying to figure out if…uh…" What had she been up to before he had come around ignoring her wish to be left alone? The spell…Cami…Esther…vassel…kemiya…and Kol
"…I…uh…"
How will I know if he's thinking of me
I try to phone but I'm too shy
(Can't speak)
"Yes, darling?" There he was again. The self-deprived coward as whom he had introduced himself to her. Not a clue of former insecurity or hurt feelings. Good God, the shield cast and hardened by 1,000 years of sins, hatred and betrayal was made of iron. She'd like to believe she'd already gotten glimpses of the man behind the shield. But given what she had come to know during the last few days, all she was sure of was how she could not be sure at all when it came to Kol Mikaelson. She couldn't help but admire him as he came over to her, obviously convinced that the worm-eaten and dusty table was more worthy to lean against than the cold wall. It had been easy to take notes, given that Davina's had to learn fast how to put people into categories: Kol Mikaelson was the rejecter not vice versa and this credo was fulfilled without a doubt. Kol Mikaelson was always the one to pull the strings, so if he had gotten tired of this wall; who was the world to deny him to develop affection towards any other item existing on god's beautiful world? No-one was. So, what exactly bared him from playing and breaking little hearts? No-one was. And this awareness greeted the little witch with a much despised clout of foreboding and dolorousness.
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak
"Here", she said sliding the ancient leather book over for him to see. As their hands touched briefly butterflies rose not only in hers but in his stomach, too. It was clear without having to be mentioned seeing no sarcastic comment coming from the former Original. His brows furrowed in concentration while he skimmed through the page, his forearms leaning on the table. He truly owned a freaky witch encyclopedia brain, so Davina wasn't surprised as he commented within seconds: "You want to use kemiya…" It was more a statement than a question and was there pity in his voice? Davina was seeing red. After all she had been through – murder, mayhem, self-sacrifices and her friends being constantly balancing on a knife's edge, being humiliated by a psycho for making baby-steps he'd made decades ago was too much too handle. "You know what? Don't bother!" Faster than Kol could react, the little witch had wrenched the book out of his hands, whooping the heavy leather-bound artefact right into his face. "Fuck, Davina!" That statement was it to free her from her lovesick-controlled haze. Her rash action had caused a nosebleed.
Oh, wake me, I'm shaking
Wish I had you near me now
Said there's no mistaking
What I feel is really love
"Gosh, Kol, I'm so sorry!"
"Love Changes Everything" by Climie Fisher watch?v=SX9KavVhf_A
"I hope so", he mumbled trying to prevent the blood from buggering his shirt. It wasn't his favorite but after the rather unfriendly encounter with the werewolves at Rosseaus or having his arse kicked by dear old dad, he certainly ran out of clothing and…Band-Aid. He'd assumed to be met with Davina's full disrespect by what the hell did anyone have to lash out these days? Kol felt the blood rushing in his ears making it hard to focus his senses on Davina's sweet voice or her delicate fingers firmly gripping his elbow guiding him toward the couch. "Sit here. I'll go get some ice." Kol's answer was a simple growl. "Easy there. We don't want you to be mistaken a prize boxer, do we?" He had come to make it up to her. Charm had been calculated as well as sweet-talking or even begging. Not a broken nose ;he hadn't seen the pain coming.
"Thank you very much", he said the sarcasm pouring out of his every pore as he embraced the ice. "You have broken my nose." Slightly sated he could see the guilt creeping up his little witches' features. "Hey, darling, it's not half as bad as all that other stuff we've been through lately." His reward came to him in the most immaterial way. Back one year ago, he would not allow any less than a small amount of physical activities to be his legitimate prize. And now – one year plus a new body later – and all he needed was a curve up of Davina's gorgeous lips to feel completely content; how wickedly wonderful.
I was only foolin' 'round but she stole my heart away
I've never been the same
"So, love" – he benched forward on the couch to pick up the book from the ground; his shoes forming a creaky sound. "Shall I butt out or am still in your good graces?" Kol prayed the statement had come out as honest as it had been intentioned. Though he swore to himself he'd never show it, his heart would be broken if she locked him out.
I felt the strangest feeling like a raging fire it burned
She left I cried for weeks and
I can't forget her or the lesson that I learned
He had come in contact with Davina without any expectations at all. Never had he ever expected much. As time flew by meaninglessly, so did the faces whose were given the honor of his attention; it was fleeting. Individualism was scratched from his vocabulary as the people with ambitions and attitudes became long lost nameless faces the more time ran by.
Then the years went rollin' by
I grew up and moved away
Had to earn my pay
Kol has always had a way with words but not with simple gestures, he never got accustomed to this whole `action speaks louder than words`- romanticized nonsense, it was something new for him to experience and enjoy. "You need to title your head back, Kol." He knew she wasn't one to disguise her joy of being able to reprimand, and so he let her. The soft touch her hand created on his chin forced his eyes to fall closed as his head hit the backrest. "Better?" he felt her breath whispering at his ear. "Much better, love", he said peeking at her. He had seen numerous women but not one of them has had the skill to truly captivate him. His interest had either been based on ulterior motives or was just short-lived because he simply wasn't one for indeterminate liaisons. But Davina was different and the truly remarkable facet of this was that he couldn't even call his fascination by name.
I was only seventeen when she looked at me that way
Seems like yesterday
It wasn't for her brown curvy locks or the absence of make up on her angelic face, her catching laugh or the subtle ways she touched him. What kept him staring at her longer than he intended to or holding his breath while he heard her speaking was the sum of her inner or her outer beauty, it was the sum of each aspect imaginable in addition to the ones he'd would yet have to discover layer by layer. "You're beautiful."
"Yeah, right", she huffed leaving her position close to his face. The immediate draught her action caused made him shudder on the inside. She wouldn't believe him. That's only fair he told himself.
"You're going to help me or what?" As demanding as her voice sounded, to Kol it was pure bliss. She hadn't shut him out. Comfortably he laid his head on the backrest again beginning to speak with closed eyes. "As I had the pleasure to witness on my own, I must say you're by far the smartest witch I have ever met." He paused, waiting for an objection that never came. What this new Kol with his healthy measure of self-doubt never would dare to dream about, the little witch who owned his heart, she loved to hear him speak as well.
Love changes, changes everything
Love makes you fly it can break your wings
"But kemiya won't be the answer to our task, sadly."
"Hello ladies. What a pleasure, you bless me with your company. What took you so long?" In all his arrogance Kol tends to get inattentive. He's been this way before and he would never change. That's the thing with narcissistic psychos, they never learn from their mistakes. "My family dinner wasn't really something not to miss, so I thought we might as well get back to work."
"And what makes you think, we will still hang on every word you say; Because of your good looks or your bad habit of bossing us around with your shoes on our altar, although you are reliant on us and not vice versa. If that's what you're thinking than yes, we cling to you like the well tamed slaves we are."
Clapping fills the room "Bravo, Astrid, bravo! Despite the gossip going round at the quarter you are no old damsel, no. You can pay your own bills, can you? I mean, I surely would pay good money to audience your performances more often. But…" Kol gives up on his bossy posture only to replace it by the nonchalant sophisticated gentleman who doesn't care about what the world cost. He ownes it already. "But…to our both shame, I have a weak spot for blond girls with a less distinctive self-esteem, don't I Mary-Alice?"
While his blonde friend keeps on clinging to her awkward silence, Astrid has a lot to tell. "You bloody bastard. A spawn of hell, that's all you are. You're a monster; Cruel, murderous, without the slightest feeling of empathy cursing through your cells. And in all your narcissistic arrogance you're far more unworthy of living than we are. We are rich and you are as poor as a street dog in your incapability to love."
"I have to admit that Astrid had hit the nail on the head. I always thought of love as a waste of time. A stumbling block, if you like." Kol tried to choose his words with caution knowing how this confession was made of explosive substance ready to blow up his hopes.
"What did happen then?"
"Thinking of this matter as secluded, may I suggest getting back to work? What's that paper in your hand, Astrid?"
"That's none of your business, Kol."
"She had me on toast literally. As I snatched the paper out of her grip, I felt a needle piercing through my skin. It had been filled with vervain and gathering immediate access to my blood circuit, I was knocked out. As I woke I found myself lying on this", he continued his explanation while tapping the old couch almost fondly. "Tied to vervain ropes. You can imagine my distress…"
"I'm going to kill you, I swear!" He had lost all his kindness, all his well-constructed building of charm and manipulated feelings, had crashed down; bearing the crude facts of his personality for everyone to see.
"You never loved me." He can almost taste the bitterness in Mary- Alice's voice; the trembling, the hysterical crying announcing itself. But he just doesn't care.
To have been human had more and more become a vapid memory as the centuries came and went. He hadn't changed completely. He still could've been called a psychopath or a narcissist without second guessing but now being human again gave him the opportunity to analyze his own behavior more objectively. Different from 1914, he craved the small signs of affection more than his next breath and as if being mentally connected, Davina took his hand and intertwined their fingers. "Did you have your emotions turned off?" The fact that he wasn't able to look her in the eyes as he continued spoke volumes. But instead of dissociating; Davina tightened her hold on his hand.
Their faces are only inches apart. He can make out her fine and harmonious features, her sad eyes and soft locks but even if he wanted to, he would feel nothing but sexual attraction.
"It's pointless, Mary-Alice. Trust me. To care about someone who does not care at all, is pointless. You deserve better than this." He hears Astrid talking large from afar; an acrid aroma filling the room. The couch moves as Mary-Alice sits on the edge. "I am sorry, Kol. I am sorry for making you a man I wanted you to be. I am sorry that you couldn't be the man I adored." Her voice was thick with tears as she continued. "You don't seem to know or seem to care what the heart is for."
Kol doesn't respond. I fact, what could he possibly say? She had believed in him, trusted him. But an illusion never turns into something real. She's cold and ashamed; he knows it by the way she kissing him on the forehead one last time. "There's nothing where you used to lie, you know? You could've simply asked me for help but instead you chose to trick me into loving you."
And I wondered was I destined to spend my life alone
Oh girl you answered my question
"He's not going to reply, Alice. And even if he does, he won't tell anything but lies."
"To tell lies runs through your blood, I see."
Kol had lost her. He could tell by the way his heart clenched in his chest and the fact that Davina had dissolved their bubble of intimate togetherness. What purpose did a hand have in the first place if not to hold your soul mate close to you? "Davina, please, I need you to listen to me." She turned around to face him and he was shocked to see tears running freely down her face. "That's the point, Kol. You need me to listen to you. You need me to help you with the dagger. You need me to go against Esther meanwhile forcing me to make it up with Klaus after all he's done. Using people for your own needs is all you're after. "I mean, what's this story of you breaking my ancestor's heart all about. Is this your sick idea of humor? We're done, you and I."
I've seen the way love shakes ya makes ya break ya
It's got a power of its own
She was almost at the door before Kol could bring his muscles to move. He was taken aback and frozen. His whole life – the life he really wanted to live – was shattering into a sea of piercing glass glued to the ground he'd have to walk on from now till his very last breath. He had to prevent her leaving.
With one movement of his hand, he locked the door. "Seriously, Kol?"
This time it's working you've given me new hope
At a leisurely pace, he walked toward her. Not for an immortal life or a million dollars would he run the risk to scare her away forever. He was very well aware that this was his last chance.
Gladly he recognized that she didn't reject his hand.
"You poor boy, all you really crave is to gather a small piece of witchcraft. Just like a vulture plundering a corpse to stay alive" A broth simmering in a cauldron blistering and spitting is poisoning the tomb's floor. "Your soup boils over, just saying." If he has to go down he would so with pride.
"Don't you worry, Kol. Dinner is served."
A vampire doesn't forget anything. Their memory is photographic. But the following minutes would always be annealed as a fogged blur. He feels the sting of a needle piercing through his skin, the injection sends fire through his body, greater than he ever had experienced before. Kol screams in pain, thereby trying to gather the frazzles his vampire-hearing brings to him.
"Does it hurt Kol?" – Astrid
"You never told me he'd be suffering this much "– Mary-Alice
"Shut up. He's got what he wanted." - Astrid
"After half an hour or so, the pain had subsided and I came back to my senses. My head hurt but beside that I felt as if nothing happened. Well, I was still tied with vervain ropes but that's not the point. Astrid sat beside the couch on a chair watching me sleep…"
"Did you have a good rest, dear?" This little bitch. Once free, he'd go after her and…"I don't have much time, so I make it quick. I assume, Mary-Alice and me quitting our little alliance doesn't need further explanation. But…we are well-bred, so we left you a little farewell present."
"Oh, Astrid. You could have told me simply. I wouldn't have kicked you out of bed for eating crackers, love"
"You can scoff at me all you want but I won."
The evidence of fear reflecting In Kol Mikaelson's eyes is her ultimate prize. The simply awareness that there's something he hasn't got he hold over scares him to death. What exactly it is that he has no control over comes second to him.
"The only thing, you love more than yourself is your idea of taking revenge on your brother." She's laughing wickedly at him. "You know, I've worked on a spell so that from now on, kemiya can only be practiced by two witches bonded by pure and utter love, the kind of love, you don't know nothing about. So you see, only true and endless love of two soul mates can change the dagger."
"Kol chuckles "I obviously have overestimated your skills ,Astrid." How hard can it be to find two witches being madly in love? As a psycho never learns from his mistakes, Kol should know better "As I forgot…the dagger can only be changed by a particular pairing of soul mates…" Her wicked smile grows even wider. "One of them would have to be you."
"You wouldn't dare! I'll come after you."
Astrid will always savor this moment as the most glory of her life. She doesn't care about being ripped apart later. She'd won nonetheless. "You know, I'd like to see you turning yourself back into a human again. It'll be fun to watch I guess and…let me say, kemiya won't help you with this. Trust me, I've tried."
As they speak, Astrid starts to loosen the rope's knots. "Knowing your persistence, I took in consideration that you'll find a way, but even if you do; we both know it's pointless, seeing as your incapability to love someone other than yourself has nothing to do with your vampirism. It's a weakness of character."
"I knew it was effortless given that I had no clue about love or was interested in experiencing it. Nowadays, you could say I always downgraded it to be a byproduct of imagination and consumer society."
He had been forced to bury his plan on the dagger but he would not let go of his revenge. It was a natural circle for Kol's heart to freeze even more and his actions to be even crueler than the previous. The range he'd found himself jailed in, made him lurching around, losing eye contact with his goal. Bad things don't come in addition, they come potentiated.
"And as my mother found a way to save me as the Other Side collapsed, she offered me a free ride to achieve my revenge, so I hung on, but then…"
Kol had come such a long way in such a small amount of time; it was a nice freeing feeling actually. As if he had woken from a slumber that had gone little-noticed by him or everyone else who he had known. But in this very moment, he was happy to see that Davina knew exactly when to grab the loose ends.
"And then we met purposely." What she said sounded accusing but one look into her glistering eyes told Kol what he needed to know. With shaky hands, he cupped her cheeks, daring her to look at him.
He could do this.
"And then we met purposely. We've met on fate, love." He tried to explain the unexplainable as his voice thickened with tears. "It hit me as I had to decide whether to go behind your back or stay beside you. I couldn't handle sacrificing your friends to my selfishness. And I hadn't once to question it because I knew you and me would be able to practice kemiya. Because I…" It was now or never but Kol never had been one to flee. "Because I love you, Davina Claire."
Her eyes widened either in shock or in happiness, he couldn't tell. He felt his heart running like a jet plain. "Kol, I…"
"No,no, no…just listen love, please…"He didn't care one bit if he sounded like a begging fool. He had to tell her everything even if it would take all night. She had to understand.
"I know why you switched sides, Kol. I would have done the same because I love you, too."
Love changes, changes everything
Love makes the rules from fools to kings
Love changes, love changes everything
The kiss they shared was one of sweet tenderness. They both were testing new waters here knowing that both of them were unserved in love; One way or the other.
Fin.
AN: I need a Kolvina kiss in 2x09...I just do...sweet or steamy, I don't care ;)