Mission: Murphy

Mission: Murphy

—PROLOGUE—

Mr. Block figures out Murphy's Law is behind the very disasters his agency is meant to stop, because a memo from 'several levels above him in management' crosses his desk.

The memo simply reads, 'The Murphy's are important. Keep watch over them.'

So he figures he's got to take them out.

He sends Brick and Savannah to a distant ancestor of the Murphy family and instructs them to make sure that he never gets married.

Everyone's memories concerning the time change are directly effected and the time stream is altered.

-On the 'present' consequences-

The pistachio missions all go off without a hitch, but Balthazar Cavendish finds himself mystified. Dakota too, feels like something is off about it.

"I mean, pistachio's are just fine in the future- what are we even fixing? These, 'monitor these pistachio shipments' missions seem off… somehow."

"Yes, I know what you mean. I didn't study time travel for twelve cycles in order to be stuck protecting pistachios— I signed up to save the world!"

"I signed up to prevent the Mississippi Purchase."

"You mean, the Louisiana Purchase?"

"You're welcome."

Suddenly a confused look crosses both their faces.

"Whoa," declares Dakota, "Deja Vu."

"Have- we had this conversation before?" Cavendish stutters, "and isn't it a warning sign when two time travelers suddenly get similarly struck with Deja Vu?"

"Well, from what I remember, that only happens when a massive time alteration overwrites their memories of previous time travel events?"

Cavendish scratched his chin, "There must have been an event that triggered a lot of changes to previous events." Cavendish uneasily twirls the end of his mustache, "Something that means now the pistachio was never going to go extinct… but the butterfly effect has caused- unintentional alterations…"

"Maybe Swamp City is at the center of it?" Dakota ventured, "A lot of our mission have been here after all."

"I don't like this feeling of unease… we'd better check in with HQ."

He digs out his temporal communicator… working just fine- no glitches- why was that odd to him now? Yet another thing the time shift had changed?

"What do you two want?" Mr. Block demanded, "If its for a different mission again the answer is still no."

"Did the agency make a 'Deja Vu- level event change? Concerning Swamp City?"

"That's above your security clearance!" Mr. Block gritted out, "just focus on your missions until I'm satisfied the pistachio is safe!"

The screen goes dark as Mr. Block closes his end of the connection.

"Above our security clearance?" Dakota baffles, "that means they did, and they're worried about anyone finding out- I'm sure of it!"

Cavendish nodded, "What could he have possibly changed? He places a closed fist into his other hands' palm, he looks determined. "Something is rotten about this… the shipment from Tunisia– a fishing boat– an errant air tank?"

"Yeah!" Exclaimed Dakota, "Our equipment used to be awful-" he gestures to their time vehicle, a perfectly functioning red car. "Our car, our communicator… something always going- wrong."

"The Opera, the Dr. Zone premiere… right here on this very dock!" Cavendish stomped his foot in frustration, "something about a swordfish in fresh…water."

A look of comprehending crossed Dakota's face. "Yeah a common thread must have been deleted!" He agreed, "something… or someone -destructive."

"Someone- destructive."

"Why is this making me so uneasy?" Dakota wondered aloud, "Destruction is a bad thing, why wouldn't Mr. Block want to boast that the agency has just stopped something really bad happening?"

"Because," Cavendish snapped his fingers in realization, "He was never supposed to have changed what he did!"

"How do you mean?"

"We prevent disasters, if we can right?"

"Sure, I'm following you so far…"

"But there are rules that we work to prevent disasters without outright deleting the cause-"

"You're saying he's prevented something happening in the past… that's -deleted- someone we've already interacted with?"

"Yes, Dakota, that's what I'm saying." Cavendish nods, "the threats never happened that were supposed to be prevented- because nothing went wrong…that was supposed to…"

"What is it?"

"What is it called when– what ever can go wrong, will go wrong?"

"Murphy's Law….uh why does that name seem really important to this conversation?"

"I remember now!" Cavendish exclaimed, "There was a kid– a counter agent? Am I remembering that right?"

"Yes and no, I just think the kid had something to do with Murphy's Law…"

"Milo Murphy… Block, deleted him, by making sure he was never born!"

"Preventing someone from being born?!" Dakota marveled, "If that's the case then Mr. Block is off his- well block, I guess."

Cavendish raised an eyebrow, "Is now really the time to be joking?"

Dakota shrugged, "I'd would be crazy for him to do. It's against like- at least an entire chapter of the 'Codes of Conduct: Concerning Time Travel Alterations and Prevention'!" Dakota gasped for breath at the end of the titles' recitation.

Cavendish shook his head wearily at his partners outburst. "I know what book you were referring to, you could have just said 'that would be against the rules'."

"Hey, I spent a whole cycle reading theC.C.C.T.T.A.P!" Dakota said, spitting out a rough attempt at pronouncing the acronym as if it was a word- making it sound like a more like a lisped 'sit-rep' than its actual spelling.

Cavendish rolled his eyes, "Never mind– Dakota we've got to get to the bottom of this! Counter-agent or not–"

"He's not…" Dakota interjected with Cavendish taking no notice of the interruption.

"No one deserves complete deletion!" He turns sharply to Dakota, "Are you with me?"

"The time agency will have our hides if they find out what we're-"

"Vinnie."

Dakota nodded solemnly, "I'm with you- Balthazar. Till the end of time."

"Then the games' a foot!" Cavendish charges to their time vehicle, Dakota trailing behind.

"The games' a foot? Deja Vu…"

"So…" Dakota said, as he entered the time vehicles' passenger seat, "Where or when are we headed to first?"

Cavendish blinked, "To be completely honest, I don't know– I was hoping to come up with a plan before we got to the time vehicle?"

"Well, we should figure out just when the Murphy's were affected in the time stream first." Dakota offered, "I'll bet you five American dollars he had Brick and Savannah prevent an ancestor of Milo's from having kids."

"You're probably right," Cavendish pondered, "if there's any two time travelers so determined to follow Mr. Blocks' orders, to the point of bending the rules; I haven't met them yet."

"I think I know where to find them." said Dakota, "in fact if memory serves, we've already met them there… because our communicator battery wasn't charged?"

Realization flitted across Cavendish's face. "By jove, you're right!"

"B-by jove– really?"

"I am agreeing with you Dakota."

"Let's just go already."

—Mansion Party—

Dakota spotted them first, standing at the same table as before.

He still stopped to scoop up a plate of pigs-in-a-blanket. Leave it to Dakota to think of snacking in the middle of an important mission.

"Brick, Savannah." Cavendish greeted cooly, "You wouldn't happen to have had a mission involving a 'Murphy' recently?"

"That's above your security clearance!" Brick shot back immediately, with distain clear in his tone.

Savannah regarded their attire, "Why are you two dressed like that?"

They'd had this discussion already- Cavendish still sort of wondered which of them was dressed like they were from the 1870's…though he suspected it might be him.

It might be odd to see two people dressed for two separate centuries…Eh, it's all the past.

"Never mind that." Balthazar said, shaking his head, answer my question!"

Brick suddenly touched his ear and spoke, "They're on the move."

Savannah touched her ear, "Roger that."

Suddenly Brick and Savannah were on the move, off to complete their mission without so much as a goodbye.

Dakota sighed, "That's the second time we've been told it's none of our business. I'm beginning to suspect they don't want us looking into this."

"If the answer had been no, they would have just said so— that tears it Dakota!" Cavendish pounded his fist into his open palm, "our next destination, the record keeping office of Swamp City, maybe there we can uncover where and -when- we are to go."

Dakota nodded, "Good plan- I'm going to grab another plate of pigs-in-a-blanket, so I'll meet you at the car."

Cavendish rolled his eyes, "Dolty snack hound." He said, with an undercurrent of warm affection, "okay, but do hurry up–and grab me some too."

—Records Office—

They surrounded themselves with old archives and poured over them, Dakota looked up from the one he was reading in surprise at what he had uncovered.

"Wow," Dakota marveled, They went right back to Edward Murphy– that is thorough…"

"Right– okay, we should aim to either prevent Brick and Savannah from completing the mission… or undo their efforts after they complete it."

"There is no way they'd take us interfering in a mission of theirs- we're just going to have to fix what they change, after they change it."

"Okay, so I guess we should head over to a time period before Edward Murphy gets married and stake out the situation from there."

Cavendish nodded, "Much as I hate to admit it, we are playing this entirely by ear."

Dakota nodded seriously, "We'll be careful… I'll be careful."

"Lets go save the Murphy's."

Cavendish and Dakota had managed to pinpoint the temporal interface point. More by trial and error than anything.

After a few hours, of what might be considered stalking under normal circumstances, they were hot on the trail.

Brick and Savannah had prevented Edward Murphy from meeting his future wife, but not without incident. Seems like Murphy's Law could effect even seasoned agents.

Lord only knew where that run-away grand piano had come from, but it was quite hilarious to see Brick being clipped by it; having only just dodged the brunt of it.

Savannah had to deal with a busted high-heel shoe that nearly caused her to fall onto the pavement.

Not to mention the inexplicable swarm of woodpeckers.

Cavendish silently observed from his vantage point of their, now disguised-to-period time vehicle, Dakota having fallen asleep in the passenger seat.

A part of Cavendish wanted to be mad at his partner for falling asleep on a stakeout, but they had been at it for a while.

Cavendish checked his pocket watch, they'd spent a good few hours just figuring out where Brick and Savannah had interceded in the past.

He sighed deeply, then another few hours examining exactly what had been done in order to determine the best coarse of action to undo Brick and Savannah's manipulation s…

Though he worried that if the Murphy's didn't meet under the circumstances they were supposed to, Murphy's Law would cause any re-staged meeting to fail.

Beside him, Dakota shifted in his sleep- his stomach giving out an audible grumble. Cavendish shot a guilty look at Dakota… they hadn't eaten since lunch, and they'd only really had those pigs-in-the-blankets.

Cavendish knew how Dakota got about food, and had long since got used to that about him.

He was actually a little surprised Dakota hadn't mentioned being hungry before.

Cavendish raised his binoculars back to his eyes; Ha! There was Brick and Savannah's very conspicuous time limo… they hadn't even disguised it for the time period.

Cavendish huffed out a frustrated breath.

Seems like they were hypocrites to mention Dakota and his 'period-inaccurate attire'.

Typical of them to think the rules didn't apply to them as long as it suited their egos.

Brick and Savannah left in their limo, contented that they'd finished their mission.

Cavendish smirked, "So… now we've got a precise time." He clocked the time and place into the temporal displacer. "Wake up Dakota, we've got the relevant coordinates-"

Dakota snorted awake, "I'm up, I'm up, just resting my eyes!"

Cavendish rolled his eyes fondly, "We should get something to eat before we set out to right what has been wronged."

Cavendish made a show of checking his pocket watch, "We've not eaten a thing since lunch after all."

"Oh, good idea! I vote we get corn dogs, I know of this great place that we can go to that has them really fresh."

Same old reliable Dakota, Cavendish thought fondly.

Out loud he said, "Haven't we already had hotdogs today?"

"We had pigs-in-a-blanket, which are only like— the party-appetizer version of corn dogs." Dakota argued, "why, what'd you want to get?"

"I- I hadn't really thought of anything if I'm honest… I suppose that it wouldn't kill me to neglect the food pyramid just this once."

"Alright!" Dakota cheered, "Ok, off to the worlds fair, turn of the century!"

Cavendish smiled, "Oh, I love the worlds fair! There really isn't a better place to get funnel cake."

"Yes, that's what I'm talking about!" Dakota cheered, pumping his fists in victory. "Dinner and desert, then we're gonna put Brick and Savannah in their place."

"Yes, hopefully all will go as planned. Murphy's Law being what it is…"

"Somehow, I think Murphy's Law might just be on our side for once."

When they got back to the relevant time period, a plan had formed. A crazy plan; to thwart Brick and Savannah during their mission.

With Murphy's Law in full effect, all their mission needed to succeed was to introduce some more chaos elements into the situation.

Thusly, Cavendish armed himself with a large bag of birdseed.

Dakota, was armed with two bags of marbles.

First step: Find that grand-piano before it begins its errant journey and add birdseed into the interior of said piano.

Second step: Station themselves on a rooftop above where they saw Brick have to dodge the piano, and Savannah had broken her heel.

Step three: Wait for the right moment to introduce the marbles…

Step four: Cross our fingers and hope it works.

Brick, again, narrowly avoided the piano, but did not avoid being sprayed by the birdseed. The swarm of woodpeckers swooped down and pecked at him. The marbles landed at his feet, and he fell to the ground.

Savannah's heel broke when she dodged the piano, but this time the marbles prevented her from catching herself. She too was sprayed with the bird seed and the mockingbirds split off from swarming Brick to swarm hers as well.

It was, in a word, beautiful.

Cavendish and Dakota silently cheered as Edward Murphy deftly dodged and weaved every obstacle like the seasoned pro he probably was.

His blasé attitude toward the devastation all around him caught the eye of his future wife.

To think, if the agency had just given them working equipment to start they'd be this productive all of the time.

Cavendish smirked, Milo had never been a counteragent– and he'd always sort of known that– their real detriment this whole time, had been the agency.

He'd only really entertained the counteragent thing because, in order for him to be a hero, there had to be a villain… and the villain was the ones who employed them.

They'd never before been provided the proper functioning equipment in order to deal with the problems they had to face.

At least a few of the problems they had with Milo around, were due – in part, to a malfunctioning temporal transporter or a run-down time vehicle.

Cavendish supposed it also helped that they finally had a mission they could believe in.

Suddenly Brick cried out. "Savannah, look up on the roof!"

Savannah looked absolutely furious, "What do you morons think you're doing!"

Oops. They'd been spotted.

Suddenly a flash of light enveloped them, and a familiar feeling of being transported to the future surrounded them.

This would not be good.

They arrived in Mr. Blocks' office, to the sight of Mr. Block, Brick, and Savannah all glaring at them.

Mr. Block was incandescent with rage. A not unusual look for him, it must be said.

"Just what did you morons think you're doing?!" Mr. Block yelled, "Sabotaging a critical mission like that!"

Cavendish crossed his arms, "You mean your scheme to delete the Murphy family?"

Savannah shifted back in surprise, "Delete? We only prevented more disasters then anyone in this agency, in one fell swoop I might add!"

"Yeah, losers!" Brick added, "Get with the program. These orders came from the top brass!"

Dakota crossed his arms, "Prove it!"

Mr. Block fumed, "Oh- I expected this level of idiotic insubordination from —Cavendish— but I expected better of you Dakota! Your work on the Mississippi Purchase was promising… However, it seems he's succeeded in dragging you down with him."

Dakota huffed and stood all the more defiantly, "I don't believe you had orders to delete the Murphy's." He then gestured at Cavendish, "and he's not 'dragging' me anywhere!"

Cavendish nodded, "Yes, thank you Dakota. It's true I'd thought Milo a detriment to our missions, but now I see whom are the true villains here."

"Yeah," Dakota added, "If you really had orders, I'd like to see them!"

Mr. Block waved a official memo at them. "It says, and I quote, 'The Murphy's are important. Keep watch over them.'"

A beat of silence.

Brick and Savannah looked stuck dumb; it was a satisfying on them.

Cavendish was almost shaking with anger, "That says to WATCH them you– you– BLOCKHEAD!"

Dakota was fuming as well, "I cannot even believe this! You really are off your block!"

Mr. Block rolled his eyes, "Like I haven't heard all those insults before, very original. It's called reading between the lines!"

Savannah cringed, "That's not an order of deletion boss."

Mr. Block turned sharply towards Savannah, his voice now at a full out yell, "You too?! How much insubordination am I going to have to deal with today?!"

Cavendish raised a disbelieving eyebrow, "The Codes of Conduct: Concerning Time Travel Alterations and Prevention-"

"Don't you tell me what the C.C.C.T.T.A.P says!" Mr. Block interrupted, spitting out the acronym like he wanted it to be pronounced like a word. Mr. Block then stomped his foot, "I know what it says! We're supposed to be preventing disasters, even if it means bending a few 'rules'!"

Suddenly an unknown voice cut in, "Except when they're —my— rules, you doorknob."

Mr. Block whirled around to give the intruder a piece of his mind, only to gasp in surprise and fall flat on his face.

Brick and Savannah followed suit with a mid-waist bow and curtsy respectively.

Cavendish and Dakota stood, too dumbfounded by who they saw stood before them…

—The Queen of the Universe—

Her Majesty, Queen of the Universe, raised an incredulous eyebrow. "I told you to watch the Murphy family- not to eliminate them!" She threw up her arms, "Milo is my friend, why on earth would I order– Never mind, I don't even want to hear your excuses!"

Mr. Block trembled, but he remained mercifully silent. Brick and Savannah looked worried, but not nearly as much as they should have been.

Suddenly Cavendish realized… "The girl who got slimed by the pistachio gelatin…" he whispered to Dakota, "That was Queen Melissa."

Melissa pointed at Cavendish, "I thought that might have had something to do with you."

Cavendish shrunk back, only to have Dakota step in front of him. "We are very sorry about that, your grace– ma'am, a giant donut sign fell on one of the drums we were loading-"

Queen Melissa raised a silencing hand, "Yeah, that's Murphy's Law for you. You guys had no reason to prepare for that sort of thing. So, no worries, it all worked out okay."

Both Cavendish and Dakota blinked, dumbfounded.

Queen Melissa then turned to Brick and Savannah, "I'll have Orton figure out what to do with you two. For now, consider yourselves on a disciplinary probation."

Brick and Savannah bowed in response. "Yes, your highness." They said in unison, like they'd rehearsed or something– it was a little creepy.

Queen Melissa nodded in recognition, "You are dismissed."

They left without further commentary.

Queen Melissa then turned to Mr. Block, "As. For. You." Her eyes narrowed, "Guards, escort Mr. Block to the holding cell."

Mr. Block's eyes widened in fear as two guards emerged from their hiding spots and snatched him up, "W-what's going to happen to me?"

Queen Melissa laughed, "Oh, that's– above your security clearance–I'm afraid."

Soon, it was just Cavendish, Dakota, the Queen, and whatever guards were left hidden around the agency.

Queen Melissa quirked a small smile, "I've got just the assignment for you two."

Dakota bowed, "I hope we don't disappoint."

Cavendish bowed deeply, "It would be an honor to accept whatever you have in mind."

Queen Melissa nodded, smiling brightly, "Your mission, is something I've already seen that you're well capable of—given the proper equipment." She chuckled to herself, "Protect the Murphy family, wherever possible."

Cavendish smiled, "We'll do our best, isn't that right Vinnie ?"

Dakota grinned, "All too right, B, all too right."

-EPILOGUE-

Brick and Savannah were demoted to preventing animal extinctions in the Antarctic and the thickest, most humid, Amazon rain forests, the most undesirable– but yet– still important mission assignment.

Mr. Block was never seen nor heard from again. (Good riddance).

Milo, continued to enjoy pistachios from the friendly vendors he'd become acquainted with over their many –coincidental– meetings.

"Wow, Mr. Dakota, you guys sell pistachios at a lot of places around town!"

"What can I say? We go where the demand is."

"You told him your name?!"

"What? He introduced himself first, It would have been rude not to!"