More Than Just A Brother
Chapter 1
Having Dean Winchester as a brother was both amazing and frustrating. Sam knew that Dean was one of a kind. He knew that there wasn't anyone quite like him in the long, substantial history of brothers. And he knew that he was lucky to be Dean's little brother. He knew.
But, being Dean's little brother was hard. And it was hard in a multitude of ways. Ways that Sam knew he couldn't even put words to, really.
Dean was more stubborn than anyone Sam had ever known, and that was including his father. Of course, John Winchester was the epitome of stubbornness himself, so that was saying a lot. But, Dean's stubbornness was different. It wasn't the 'my way or the highway' stubbornness of their father. No, it was much deeper than that.
Dean's stubbornness revolved around Sam and sprang from his deep commitment to keep his little brother safe. Sam knew he should appreciate that fact, but he couldn't. Because Dean just wouldn't see reason where Sam was concerned. And Sam had learned that the hard way.
The first time Sam recognized the problem for what it was was when he was nine years old. They were staying in a small town in Ohio while John was hunting a rugaru. They had been staying in a small apartment for almost a month, which was a nice departure from the crappy motel rooms they usually stayed in, and for the first time in a long time, Sam and Dean were content. At least, they were until they had to start school.
The school was one of the smallest they had ever attended and Sam hated it. He hated always being the new kid in school, especially because he always seemed to have a hard time fitting in. Dean, on the other hand, usually fared much better, and Sam wasn't sure if it was just because his brother was a likeable kid or if it was just his 'I don't care what you think of me' attitude. Maybe a bit of both.
From the very first day of school, Sam was singled out by two of the "popular" kids, Patrick and Seth. No matter what he did, the two boys were always there to make his life miserable. Whether he tried to blend in to the background or take part in whatever was going on, Sam found himself facing the two bullies over and over again.
He hated that they made him feel so weak and he hated that he couldn't stand up to them. But, most of all, he hated the thought of Dean finding out what was going on.
It wasn't like Dean wasn't used to standing up for him, because it happened in almost every school they attended. But, Sam was tired of it. For once in his life, he wanted to be able to handle it himself. He wanted to take care of the situation without his brother's help. And he wanted Dean to be proud of him.
Day in and day out, Sam woke up, got ready for school, and walked with his brother to his own private Hell on earth. It didn't escape Dean's notice how quiet Sam always was on the way to school and he spent most of the walk trying to get his brother to laugh. Sam wasn't surprised that it usually worked, because Dean always knew just what to do to cheer him up.
Eventually, though, Sam got to the point where nothing would cheer him up. In fact, Sam was so miserable that he did the unthinkable…. He faked being sick just so he wouldn't have to go to school. And it worked the first day. Luckily, their father was off on a hunt, though, because in his mind unless you were throwing up your insides or actively seizing, you went to school.
Dean could be a hard-ass, too, but it usually only took several minutes of Sam looking at him with his patented puppy-dog look for Dean to give in. It wasn't that Dean was against Sam skipping school. In fact, he thought that his little brother was way too serious about school in the first place. And if Sam stayed home from school, so did he, which was always a plus in his mind. The only reason Dean was reluctant to let Sam stay home was that he knew he'd have to answer to John Winchester if he found out. And John Winchester had a strange way of always finding out.
One morning, Sam woke up and realized that he didn't have the strength to get out of bed and face the day. Patrick and Seth had been unbearable that week and Sam could tell it was culminating into what was bound to be an epic showdown. A showdown that he wasn't sure he was ready for.
Dean was already awake and Sam could hear him singing off-key in the shower. Sam threw the blanket back over his head and burrowed back down into the bed, trying to come up with a reason why he couldn't go to school. He knew he had his work cut out for him in convincing his brother to let him stay home, because Dean was still reeling from the trouble he'd recently been in for getting into a fight at school. John Winchester had a knack for making a boy want to stay on the straight and narrow.
Sam listened as the shower turned off. He could hear Dean fumbling in the medicine cabinet for several minutes before the door finally opened. A cloud of steam followed his brother out of the bathroom and into the hallway.
"Sammy, come on, dude. We're gonna be late!"
Sam rolled over onto his side and curled up in a ball. He didn't bother replying to his brother.
"Sam! Dude, come on!" Dean walked over to the bed and grabbed the blanket, yanking it off of Sam in one fell swoop.
"Deeaann," Sam groaned. "Leave me alone."
"No way, Sam. I can't be late again. Mr. Danson said the next time I'm late, he'll have to call Dad."
"I don't feel good, Dean," Sam whined. "I want to stay home."
Sam watched as Dean's look of annoyance quickly changed to a look of concern.
"What's wrong, Sammy?" he asked quickly.
"My head hurts. And I feel dizzy," Sam immediately answered. He knew better than to say that his stomach hurt, because he really didn't want to spend the day hungry as he tried to maintain the façade of illness. Looking up to see if he could figure out what Dean was thinking, he felt guilty at the look of worry on his brother's face. He hated lying to Dean, but he currently hated the thought of going to school even more.
Dean looked Sam over thoroughly before getting up and going back to the bathroom. Seconds later, he returned with the thermometer, a glass of water, and some medicine. "Open up, Sam," he said as he held out the thermometer. "Under the tongue."
Dean looked at his watch before turning his attention back to Sam. "You do look a little pale. I guess maybe you should stay home."
Sam couldn't believe that Dean was giving in so quickly, but he didn't argue. He knew his temperature was going to be normal, but luckily it sounded like Dean didn't really care about that. A minute later, Dean took the thermometer out of his mouth and looked at it closely. "Well, you don't have a fever, Sammy. Are you sure you wanna stay home?"
Sam nodded his head and tried to look at his brother pitifully.
"Okay, Sammy….. sit up and take some medicine and then you can go back to sleep. When you wake up I'll make you some breakfast, okay?"
"Thanks, Dean," Sam said. He slowly sat up and took the medicine. After getting it down, he grabbed the blanket and pulled it back over him. He was really hungry, but he figured it would be better to play along.
Dean leaned over and tucked the blanket in around Sam. Once he was satisfied that his little brother was warm enough, he gave him another worried look, and then turned and left the room. Sam closed his eyes and tried to shake off the guilt he was feeling. When that didn't work, he allowed his relief of not having to face the kids at school to wash over him, pushing the guilt aside for a while.
The next morning, Sam tried to convince Dean that he was still sick, but it didn't work. For some reason, Dean was adamant that they not miss another day of school. Sam wasn't aware of the fact that the school allowed one missed day of school with a signed excuse, but anything more than that required a phone call to the parent/guardian. Dean was all too aware of that rule, so there was no way he would allow them to skip school again. As it was, he was already going to have to find a way to forge his dad's signature on a note. Risky business, for sure.
So, with dread filling every single cell of his body, Sam got out of bed and got ready for school. He wasted as much time as he could, taking too long to eat his breakfast and walking too slow on the way. By the time they arrived at the school, Dean was annoyed and a little angry with his brother.
"If I'm late again, it's all your fault," Dean said angrily.
Sam gave him a wide-eyed look and Dean suddenly felt bad for yelling at his brother.
"I'm sorry, Sammy. I just don't want Mr. Danson to call Dad."
Sam didn't say anything, so Dean continued. "Listen, little bro…. today's Friday, so we just have to get through the next eight hours and then we're off for the whole weekend. I thought maybe we'd get some pizza tonight and watch a movie. What do you think?"
"We can't get pizza, Dean. It's too expensive!"
"You let me worry about that, okay? You just think about what kind of movie you want to watch."
Sam smiled up at his brother and Dean didn't notice that the smile never quite reached his eyes. Minutes later, they entered the school just as the warning bell rang. Dean quickly hurried towards Sam's room, hoping that Sam was right behind him. Once Sam was through the doors to his classroom, Dean ran off towards his own classroom.
Sam watched him running down the hall, wishing that he could follow after him. Resigning himself to his fate, he turned back to the classroom and put his backpack away, looking around the whole time for any sign of Patrick and Seth.
By the end of the day, Dean was exhausted. He had been skating on thin ice over the last few weeks, so he was trying to be on his best behavior. And he found it exhausting. It took way too much energy for him to be polite and courteous and to do what was expected of him. He even did some of his homework in his study hall period, much to his embarrassment and disappointment. He couldn't help but feel he was selling himself out.
Once the end bell rang, Dean was more than ready to leave the school and start the weekend. He made his way over to where Sam usually met him, but was surprised to see that he wasn't there. Looking around, he noticed a rather large group of kids at the edge of the playground, and he suddenly knew that he'd probably find Sam right in the middle of them all. Without a second thought, he took off running towards the group of kids, wondering why there didn't seem to be any adults aware of what was going on.
As Dean drew closer to the group, he could hear the sounds of one kid taunting another kid and his heart sank as he realized that Sam was probably the kid being taunted. The large group of kids looked to be made up mostly of elementary grade kids, but that didn't stop Dean from roughly barging through the circle. Once he made it to the front, his eyes immediately landed on his little brother, who was surrounded by three other boys. Sam hadn't noticed Dean's arrival, and Dean could tell that he was fixated on not letting the other boys get the upper hand in the situation.
Dean knew that he should wait and let Sam deal with the situation, but he couldn't. The very second one of the boys made his move on Sam, Dean shot forward and placed himself in between them.
"What the hell are you doing?" Dean growled, pushing one of the boys away slightly. "Leave him alone." He couldn't help but notice that two of the three boys were quite a bit bigger than his little brother.
"Dean!" Sam cried. "I got this! I don't need your help."
Dean didn't even look back at his brother. Instead, he kept his gaze on the three boys, as if daring them to make a move. Two of them backed off a few steps, but the biggest one didn't. Dean wondered how many times the kid had been held back in school. It was obvious that he was closer to Dean's age than Sammy's.
"I asked you what you were doing," Dean snarled at the kid.
"Who are you?" the kid asked as he glared at Dean.
"It doesn't matter who I am," Dean answered. "But, if you really want to know, I'm your worst nightmare." Dean knew he was being cheesy, but he didn't care. He just wanted the boy to back off before things got out of hand. He didn't miss the look of uncertainty that suddenly passed across the kid's face.
"Dean, get out of here. I got this," Sam tried again. He was trying to salvage what little bit of cool he'd garnered by standing up to the three bullies, but it was quickly fading away.
Dean still ignored his little brother, his eyes never leaving the face of the kid in front of him. Just as he thought he was going to have to make a move of his own, Mr. Danson's voice broke through the crowd.
"What's going on here?" he asked as he stepped into the small circle.
The kids in the group started to disperse rather quickly once the adult showed up and soon enough, it was just the three bullies and the two Winchesters standing on the field. Mr. Danson looked between all five of the kids, trying to figure out who was to blame. His first inclination was to blame Dean, but he had grown rather fond of the boy. Once he'd gotten over his exasperation with the kid, of course.
He didn't really know the other kids too much, but he did know of Patrick's family. Patrick's older brother, Ian, had been in one of his classes a few years ago, and Mr. Danson could remember what an entitled, arrogant jerk the kid had been. It wasn't too far of a stretch to imagine that his little brother was the same.
"Dean? Is there a problem here?" He finally asked as he turned to look at his student.
"No, sir," Dean answered after a bit of a pause. "No problem. I just came to get my little brother so we could walk home."
The teacher wasn't convinced that there wasn't more to the story, but he obviously didn't have any proof of wrongdoing and nobody was going to talk. "Okay, then…. You boys better be getting on to wherever it is you need to be."
With a single glare back at the other three boys, Dean turned and grabbed Sam by the arm and started to drag him away. "Have a great weekend, Mr. Danson," he said as he walked past the man. Mr. Danson nodded his head to them and watched as they walked away.
Sam was quiet the whole way home and Dean was starting to worry. He still had no idea what had happened and it didn't look like Sam was going to tell him anytime soon. Once they were inside the house, Sam went straight to their room and slammed the door, leaving Dean to stare after him. Dean could tell that his brother was upset with him, but he didn't know why. And it was driving him crazy. He hated it when Sam was upset with him. Absolutely hated it.
Discarding his original plan for pizza and a movie meant that Dean was going to have to figure out what to do for dinner. As he looked through the cupboards, he was suddenly aware of the sound of Sam crying coming from their bedroom. Without another thought, Dean quickly made his way to their room, hoping to find out what was troubling his brother.
Sam had thrown himself across the bed the minute he entered the room and that's just how Dean found him. Not wanting to risk making the kid even madder, Dean hung back a bit. He hoped that Sam would respond to his presence, but the kid didn't budge an inch.
"Sam, what's wrong?" Dean asked in the smallest voice he could manage. "What were those boys doing to you?" When Sam didn't answer, Dean continued. "It looked like they were about to attack you."
Sam suddenly rolled over and sat up on the end of the bed. If looks could kill, Dean knew he would have been dead instantly. In fact, he was surprised and a little shocked by the look on his brother's face.
"Why can't you ever just leave me alone?" Sam suddenly blurted out. "I told you I didn't need your help!"
"Sammy, there were three of them and only one of you! I was trying to protect you, dummy."
"I'm not a dummy and I don't need you to protect me!" By this time Sam was screaming and Dean couldn't believe it.
"Dude, what's your problem?" Dean asked as his own anger started to flow.
"I can take care of myself, Dean! I don't need you to fight my battles for me."
"Sam, come on…. You're talking crazy. You were outnumbered and they were all bigger than you."
"I could've taken them," Sam declared. "I've been training, remember?"
"I know you have, Sam. And you're getting really good, too, but that's not the point. And I'm not going to stand by and let you get hurt, if I can help it, Sammy. That's never going to happen."
Sam glared at his brother for several more seconds, before throwing himself face down on the bed. Dean stared at him before finally turning to leave. Just as he was at the door, though, he heard Sam's small voice. "I don't need you, Dean."
Dean was pretty sure he'd never heard anything that hurt him quite as much as those words did.
The same thing happened over and over again as Sam and Dean grew up. Dean always stepped in to protect Sam, whether it was from bullies at school or monsters on a hunt or even from the wrath of John Winchester.
There was no telling how many times John had punished Dean for something Sam had done. And it wasn't like Sam ever asked his brother to take the blame for him. In fact, he often tried to own up to whatever trouble he was in, but Dean always barged in to take the blame. And for some reason, John never questioned it. Sam wondered sometimes if that was John's way of punishing him in a way that really hurt. Knowing that Dean was getting his backside tanned for something that was Sam's fault was worse than getting his own backside tanned. He'd much rather be the one punished than listening to Dean being punished. Of course, he knew that was probably exactly how Dean felt and why he was always so eager to protect Sam from it in the first place.
He had lost count of the times that Dean ended up injured on a hunt because he was trying to protect his little brother, too. No matter how often Sam asked Dean to treat him like an adult- like a hunter- Dean always felt the need to treat Sam like he was still ten-years-old. And Sam hated him for it. He hated Dean for putting his little brother's safety, and everyone else's for that matter, above his own. Dean didn't care if he himself got hurt as long as Sam was safe. And he hated Dean for not believing in him. Sam struggled to be seen as a hunter in his own right by both his dad and his brother and he honestly didn't think it would ever happen.
There was a part of him that was moved by the fact that Dean did these things because he loved him so much. He knew that Dean loved him more than anything else in the world and he found that to be a little overwhelming at times. Suffocating, even. Dean didn't do it on purpose, but sometimes Sam found it difficult to hold onto who he was in Dean's presence. Because he wasn't just Sammy. He wasn't just Dean Winchester's little brother. Or John Winchester's youngest son.
He was so much more than that, even if Dean sometimes forgot.
Author's note: Holy smokin' peanuts! I've been watching a lot of Supernatural lately and I keep hearing things that make me want to write a one-shot. I have a whole list of them, so beware, lol.
For some reason, hearing Dean tell Mary that he had to be more than just a brother to Sam was so heartbreaking. Which of course meant that I had to delve into that a little. It was going to be a one-shot at first, but as it usually happens, it's going to be a little more than that. I'll probably take at least one more chapter to wrap this up. Maybe two….
Anyway, thanks so much for reading this. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.