WARNING: The following story contains violence, coarse language and mature subject matter. Readers discretion is advised.

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue. I don't own Twilight, so please don't sue!

The sun was bright as I stepped out of the taxi and on to the busy sidewalk. Making sure my sunglasses were protecting my eyes, I closed the cab door before stuffing my hands in my pockets and heading for the entrance to the skyscraper. I had to climb a few steps until I reached the revolving doors that lead into the fancy lobby. This was one of the condo buildings in Seattle that went above and beyond expensive. It was the break-the-bank type of building where only the rich and famous resided. Inside was marble floors (which I'm sure were shipped straight from Italy), chandeliers with real crystals and fixtures with golden finishes. This was a millionaire's heaven.

I had a good look around the lobby before heading towards the elevators that lead to the condos above. But I didn't make it as a guard stepped right in my path. He had a sort of doorman uniform on but I was sure he would kick my ass if I were seen as trouble. Anybody who came into these buildings were questioned, unless the man knew you well.

"State your business," he barked, his voice deep and tough.

Taking off my sunglasses, I smiled at him. "I'm here to see a Mrs. Newton," I answered smoothly.

He frowned, looking me up and down suspiciously. "I wasn't told of any visitors."

I merely shrugged and he glared at me before stomping off to his desk. Picking up the phone he dialed a number, his watchful eyes on me while it rang. I simply stood where I was, rocking back and forth on my heels and whistling a small tune. He grimaced until Mrs. Newton must have picked up. His whole demeanor changed from serious and tough to bright and cheerful in seconds. "Hello, Mrs. Newton?…Yes, it's the front desk calling. I've just been talking with a…" he looked me up and down. "Young man who says you've sent for him?" He paused, murmuring a few "yes'" and "uh-huh's" before putting his hand over the phone. "What's your name kid?" he hissed.

Kid, I thought with a snort. I was twenty-five, not so much kid material. "Edward Masen," I answered with a smirk.

He repeated my name into the phone before a crestfallen look came across his face. Mrs. Newton obviously knew who I was. Grinning triumphantly, I replaced my glasses on my face and waited for him to wave me through. He was sadly saying his goodbyes before hanging up. He glowered at me as I shrugged and headed for the elevators.

It didn't take long for the lift to reach the lobby and so it shouldn't since a rich person was usually impatient. Or maybe I was just stereotyping. Chuckling to myself, I stepped inside and pressed the top floor as the golden doors shut and my ride began.

Using the mirrors that surrounded me, I fixed my already out of control hair into that perfectly mussed up look. Women apparently swooned over locks like mine, or that's what I'd been told in the past. I always told myself that it was all a part of the job. Having the looks meant easier access to information in the undercover world, especially if you were working a woman. If I thought less of myself I wouldn't think that Mrs. Newton would be like putty in my hands soon enough. They all melted into puddles when hit with an Edward Masen smile…other people's words, not mine.

The doors slid open and I stepped out into a small hallway with only one door. Checking that everything was in place, I knocked. It only took a moment for the door to swing open and Mrs. Newton to appear. She was short, much shorter than me, with frizzy, brown hair and a round sort of face. She was thin although her torso was longer than her legs. I could see the appeal that Michael Newton had for her but I wouldn't be so stupid as to marry her. Getting attached to a woman physically was one thing, but getting super glued to her with the whole wedding kit and caboodle was another thing entirely. I wasn't moronic enough to even think of marrying a woman. I enjoyed the bachelor life far too much to give it up over one girl.

The woman fluttered her eyelashes in what I supposed was to be a flirtatious move. I thought it made it look like she had something in her eye. "Hello, Edward," she purred, leaning against the doorframe.

"Mrs. Newton?" I questioned.

"Just call me Jessica," she giggled.

Knowing I was already halfway to having her do anything I wanted, I went in for the kill. "Jessica," I murmured, pulling out that crooked smile that made Jell-O out of women.

It worked. She let out a heavy breath, her cheeks turning pink and her eyes glazing over. Yeah. I had this one in the bag. My God, women were so easy.

"May I come in?" I teased, moving closer.

"Of course!" she stuttered, waving me inside. I passed her, stepping into the expansive living space of the condo. It had a modern look to it, with colours like white and silver. It was what people might call an open plan space with the kitchen to the left. There was no wall in between the two rooms to give it all a more spaced out feeling. In the kitchen were stainless steel appliances and marble counter tops. The whole far wall was made up of floor to ceiling windows looking over the Seattle skyline. You could even see the Space Needle in the distance. This truly was a premium condo.

"Please, sit down," Mrs. Newton's shaky voice came from behind me. She was clearly flustered still. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"No, thank you," I answered politely. "I'm just here for my assignment."

She looked embarrassed for a moment. "Oh, yes," she said. "Um, well. You might know my…husband well." She paused on the husband part and I thought I heard some disappointment in her voice.

"Yes," I agreed. "Michael Newton of Cityspace Cooperation. It's a software company, am I right?" She nodded. "And it's one of the top software companies in the world, right behind Microsoft, correct?" Again she nodded. I sighed. "So I suppose your husband wants me to find out a rat in the company who continually gives away their ideas?"

She finally shook her head and spoke. "Oh, no! Nothing to do with the company. But…it is about my husband." I raised my brow and she continued. "Well…he's been staying out longer at night and he won't answer my calls. I'm kind of worried. Well I believe that…he's…having an affair with his personal assistant." That last part came out quickly as she squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips together.

Another potential affair case. I'd seen plenty of them. "I see," I murmured. "And who is his personal assistant?"

She looked very angry all of the sudden. "She's a snake," Mrs. Newton hissed, sounding a little like the reptile herself. "Her name is Isabella Swan and…and…she's trying to steal my husband! You have to expose her!"

I raised my brows at her suddenly vicious demeanor. She obviously hated this Isabella and it was my job to find out why. Was this woman really as evil as Mrs. Newton made her out to be? It could go either way. From my experience, jealous wives were sometimes right and sometimes wrong. "So you believe that Ms. Swan is trying to get to your husband for…?"

"The money," she said right away. "And bragging rights, I suppose. I mean, how could she do that to my Mikey?" Her lip quivered and her eyes watered as she swept her hand across her face dramatically. "He did nothing to deserve this."

"Are you sure that this affair is one sided?" I asked.

She glared murderously at me. "Of course it is!" she snarled. "My husband is innocent! He would never cheat on me."

"I just like to get the facts straight, Mrs. Newton," I answered, holding my hands up. "Most cases I've had have not been one sided."

"Well this one is!" she snapped. "It's all that dirty slut's fault and I want her to pay!"

"All right," I said, trying to calm her. "I'll look into."

She grinned, fluttering her eyelashes again. "Thank you," she whispered.

I smirked at her. "Not a problem, Mrs. Newton."

She tittered and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "Didn't I ask you to call me Jessica?" I mustered up a smile but didn't answer. She continued with a grin. "Well I have set up a few things to help you on the case." She walked (or rather sashayed since she shook her ass so much) over to the coffee table where an unmarked envelope sat. She picked it up before handing it to me. "It has the keys to an apartment in the same building as her. Number three-oh-two, if I'm not mistaken. That's the seventh floor. She's on the fifth. The apartment has everything you'll need in it. But if you need…anything…don't be afraid to ask me." Again with the fluttering eyelashes! Yeah, I'll be sure to get back to you on that sweetheart. And here she was calling this Isabella a snake. Like the pot calling the kettle black.

"And," she continued. "I've also got you an interview at Mike's company. You're to report to the mailroom tomorrow at seven am sharp. I'm pulling a few strings so don't mess this up."

I nodded and smirked. "I don't mess up," I said confidently. "I'll get myself a new identity and start the job."

"Good," she answered. "I'm counting on you to expose this disgusting snake for what she is!"

Smirking, I winked at her before pulling down my sunglasses. "That's my job, Mrs. Newton." Then, without another word, I left the condo chuckling to myself. I opened the envelope in the elevator and checked everything that was in it. She'd even put a map of where my temporary home was going to be. But I knew, as I stepped out of the elevator and passed the pissed guard, that there was one place I had to go before I went to check out my new digs.

The cabbie was a little angry when I told him I wanted a ride to the suburbs. But when I threw over a few twenties he lightened up immediately. It was amazing what some people paid me to investigate for them. There seemed to be a lot of insecure people who believed their spouse was cheating on them or their workers were helping another company. That's where I came in. Edward Masen, private detective extraordinaire. I didn't have my own PI firm but I was able to work with the local police. I had some links inside and they didn't mind giving up some information to me. But other than that (and my techy partner), I was on my own.

I made the driver stop at a local grocery store. I had to pick up something for my partner. He'd appreciate it, I was sure. After picking up what I needed, I got the cabbie to take me to my old neighbourhood. With the cookie cutter houses and the perfectly manicured lawns, my childhood home was the same as everyone's else's. But instead of turning on to my old street, I made the taxi drive me down two more streets until we got to another road I knew so well. Five houses to the right was where my partner was stationed. It was a two story home with a cheerful yellow as the siding and rose bushes surrounding the front step. I got out of the taxi and he took off immediately, probably thinking I'd want some of my cash back. I ignored him and went for the white front door instead.

Ringing the doorbell, I waited a second before it was opened by a plump little woman. Her skin was tanned, her hair a deep black while it hung around her shoulders and her eyes a very dark brown. She was dressed in jeans and a purple t-shirt with an apron hanging around her waist. As soon as she saw me she yanked me forward for a hug.

"Oh, Edward! It's so good to see you again!" she laughed.

"It's good to see you too, Mrs. Clearwater," I answered as she let me loose.

She smiled widely. "And you're just in time! I'm making cookies! Would you like one?"

I rubbed my stomach and grinned. "Mmm, sounds delicious."

She giggled before dancing off to the kitchen. I let myself inside, closed the door and toed off my shoes as she came back with a tray of sugar cookies. They were shaped as little pink hearts. "It's almost Valentine's Day!" she said as I took one and stuck it in my mouth. Of course it was amazing. Mrs. Clearwater could cook like nobody's business. "Do you have anyone special…?" she prodded as I swallowed my treat.

I shook my head, snatching another cookie off the tray. "Not this year."

"Oh," she said with a frown. "That's terrible." Here it comes, I thought while chewing on my other cookie. "You know Leah mentioned you yesterday when she called me?"

"Is that so?" I asked.

"Mmmhmm," she went on. "My poor baby's got no one this Valentine's Day too."

"I thought she was dating that young guy," I said, already knowing that she was taken. "What's his name? Jacob Black?"

Mrs. Clearwater's bottom lip stuck out in what looked like distaste. I didn't see anything wrong with Leah dating the Jacob guy. He was a little younger than her, but from what I heard they were really happy. But this happened every time I came over to the Clearwater's house. Leah and I used to date back in high school but it was sort of a stepping stone for both of us. We ended it right after graduation. However, Mrs. Clearwater seemed to still hold on to the thought of us being together. No matter what day it was, she always brought up her daughter. It was actually rather amusing.

"Well he's just a little fling," she said quickly. "But she won't stop talking about you! Wouldn't it be lovely if the two of you went out to have dinner together on Valentine's Day?"

I smiled at her. "I think Leah has plans," I told her gently. "But these heart shaped cookies are delicious."

She frowned but smiled again when I mentioned her baking. "It runs in the family," she said with a wink before going back to the kitchen. "All we Clearwater women know how to cook!"

That wasn't exactly true since Leah did try and make me spaghetti once and it turned into a smoky disaster. But then again she may have changed since then. "Is your son in, Mrs. Clearwater?" I asked.

"Downstairs!" she called back.

I thanked her before going to the door that lead to the basement. It was almost completely dark as I stepped down to close the door after myself. I could hear the dim sound of computer's whirring as I continued my descent to the carpet below. Anyone could see that it was a bedroom. There was a messy bed against the wall across from the stairs and a dresser with clothes hanging out of every drawer. To the right was a huge set up of computers (at least three screens) with printers and scanners and machines I couldn't even name. Papers were scatted about the desk and the computer monitor's were all a blue screen. Turning around the end of the staircase you could see a big screen television with a couch in front of it. The TV showed a racing game and I could see the outline of someone on the sofa.

"No! Don't cut me off damn it!" a teenage boys voice shouted at the screen. The race seemed to have ended and the boy must have lost because he was hissing profanities loudly.

"Better luck next time, Seth," I said and he turned around.

In the dim light of the television screen I could just make out his facial features. He still looked a lot like his mother with the tanned skin, black hair and dark brown eyes but he was definitely all his father personality wise. Like every teenager his skin wasn't perfect but Seth didn't really give a shit since he was in the basement almost all day. If it weren't for high school, he would never leave this room. The kid enjoyed the cyber world far more than reality.

Quickly, he shut the television off and got off the couch to turn on a lamp. Once he noticed who was standing in his room his surprised expression changed into that of a mob boss. Putting his arms behind his back, he proceeded to walk past me. "Masen," he said in a voice very unlike his own. "I've been expecting you." He'd definitely watched way too much of the Godfather.

Sitting down in his rotating chair by the computers he spun around to look at me, his fingers pressed together to make a steeple with his hands. "I suppose you are in need of my services?" he questioned as I sat down in one of the folding chairs beside his desk.

"That was the plan," I said seriously, playing his little game.

"And what payment shall I receive?" he questioned.

"Same as always," I answered before bringing the plastic bag I'd got from the store into his line of sight. "Plus some extra incentive." He watched me curiously as I dug my hand into the bag and pulled out what I'd bought him, throwing it over.

Suddenly, his eyes lit up as the teenager I knew came flying back. "Cool! Doritos!" he cried, ripping the bag of nacho chips open and stuffing his face like a hungry chipmunk.

Grinning, I place the bottle of Pepsi on the table and he stared at in longingly. "Man," he said through a mouthful of nachos. "I'm yours."

"I'm not going to point out how wrong that sounds," I said with a chuckle. "You're not exactly the person I want saying that to me."

He rolled his eyes, opening the bottle and taking a long drink before sighing in contentment. "So," he said, licking his fingers. "What's up?"

"I got a new assignment," I answered, leaning back in my chair. "Another cheating husband."

"Boring," Seth groaned while shaking the computer's mouse to make the screen come alive. On his desktop was a large picture of a scantily clad woman. Poor kid. Never had a girlfriend and he was eighteen at the moment. It wasn't right for me to shove my conquests in his face…but he always asked me about them.

"Apparently the wife doesn't think her husband wants to cheat on her," I said with a small chuckle.

Seth snorted while chewing another chip. "Not likely," he answered.

"The husband's name is Michael Newton of --"

"Cityspace Software," Seth answered for me. "I got loads of his shit." He then proceeded to show me all the programs he had that Cityspace had created. A lot of it was complete shit that I myself would never use but Seth seemed to adore the company's programs. "He's a genius."

"He's a cheating genius," I corrected. "I don't believe for one second that he's innocent in all of this. He's a man with a hell of a lot of money, power and fame. It wouldn't be difficult for him to find himself a willing mistress. Apparently his personal assistant was one of the willing."

"So you want me to look up the PA?" Seth asked, pulling up a program.

"Yeah. Everything you can get on her. Her name's Isabella Swan."

His fingers flew over the keys as he typed in her name and clicked the search button. The teen's program could get into any database and pull up info on any person. He was fucking incredible with this computer stuff and it was why I relied on him rather than the police. The kid could make millions in the future with talents like his.

Suddenly the basement door swung open. "Seth!" Mrs. Clearwater shouted and her son flinched. "Have you taken out the garbage yet?"

Spinning around in his chair he shouted back, "Not yet, Mom! I'm kinda busy!"

"Oh!" she cried. "Are you showing Edward some of your nudy magazines?"

I snorted, covering my mouth to stop from laughing out loud. Seth's face was bright red and his jaw was hanging open. "MA!" he shouted in embaressment.

"Well have fun!" she giggled before the door closed again.

There was an awkward silence before I burst out laughing. Seth muttered profanities under his breath and glared at me. "Laugh it up, asshole. Laugh it up. But just wait until I get a fucking supermodel girlfriend!"

After a moment I calmed down enough to respond. "I guess," I chuckled, wiping my eyes.

"Hell yeah," he answered, turning back to his computer.

"Got her," he said after a few minutes. He wiped his hands on his torn jeans before scrolling down the page. I leaned forward to read.

"Let's see," Seth murmured. "Full name is Isabella Marie Swan. She was born in 1986. That makes her…what? Twenty-two?"

"Around there," I answered, staring at the profile in front of me. There was really nothing out of the ordinary. She was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. She moved to Seattle two years ago and got a job with Cityspace Software. The only odd part was that she was promoted quickly and became Newton's PA suspiciously fast. Either she was great at her job or there was something going on between them.

"Print it off for me, will you?" I finally said. He did so and I tucked them away in my pocket. "All right. Now I need a new identity. Can you make it happen?"

"Can I make it happen," he snorted before laughing dramatically. "I am the master, you know."

"Yeah, yeah," I chuckled.

Pulling up another program revealing different identification cards that were blank he turned to look at me. "Name?"

Thinking I finally came up with one I hadn't used before. "Ted Cullen."

He stared at me. "Ted…Cullen?" he asked with raised brows. "Are you trying to scare off the women?"

Grinning, I nodded. "That's the plan. I'm going undercover as a computer enthusiast."

His face dropped in astonishment. "You mean to tell me that you, Edward Masen, are going undercover as a NERD?"

I shrugged. "It's a change."

"A change?" he cried, rubbing his forehead. "Dude, you're fucking sex appeal in one body and you're just gonna…throw that all away?" Again I shrugged and his jaw dropped. "Do you know how many guys would give their right hand to be you just for one day? Scratch that! Their dick. They would give their dick to be you for a day. Do you understand the severity of that statement?"

"No biggie," I answered calmly.

"Unbelievable," he muttered before swinging around to type furiously on the keyboard.

"It's my job, Seth," I said. "I'm dedicated. It is and always will be the most important thing in my life. Nothing is ever going to change that."

Author's Note

I know, I know. Edward is a complete asshole but it's his character…for a while anyway. Keep in mind that this hasn't been edited yet! Remember I said that Mamun was my favourite character in SEALs? Well now Seth is my favourite in this one. Why? Because he's a cute geek! Cityspace is not a real company, it's just made up, and I've never worked for a software company so bear with me if I get facts wrong. As I said in my Author's Note in SEALs, the maturity level for this one is going up again. Still no lemons (because I have yet to have experience one) but maybe a few limes? I'm on the Twilighted fourms and there will be a topic for this story so if anyone wants to talk on there, that's where I'll be. Usually lots of people ignore me on that site because my stories aren't NC-17. It's why I perfer , cause you guys are awesome and love me unconditionally. And I love you, too! So…review for me, okay?

AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR THE SHORT STORY CONTEST I ENTERED!