Sleepless

It was one o'clock in the morning and sleep still hadn't claimed him. He could hear far away the chirping of crickets and sometimes, if he concentrated enough, the sound of his parent's heartbeats… Everything around him was calm and peaceful and yet he was unable to close his eyes and sleep. He actually tried hard to, but every moment he closed his eyes he was surrounded by the vision of these dreadful moments when he, once again, was forced to watch someone he cared about being killed. Sometimes, at lonely nights like this one, he thought it to be his own personal curse. He still remembered that vision he saw, years ago, when he was surrounded by the graves of everyone he cared about and he was the only one living. His dad told him differently, 'everyone dies, son', he said, but Clark somehow knew his dad was wrong. He knew he was nothing like everyone else and the same powers, that made him strong and able to do such amazing things, condemned him to be always alone. Tonight, alone, he faced his nightmares once again, as the events of the day played before his very eyes…

It had been a nice day, nothing out of the ordinary: they weren't facing anything dangerous at all. Chloe and Lois were in Smallville, this weekend, and as usual, Lois was staying at the Kent's farm. Clark's parents always liked Lois, but after the meteor shower they kind of adopted her. He could understand this: after all she saved them and helped them to rebuild the farm, so it was expected. What he didn't expect was they suddenly campaigning for him to see her as a potential girlfriend. His mother, especially, had been getting on his nerves with all hers 'Lois this' and 'Lois that', as if all of a sudden Lois had become some sort of goddess and she was the main priest of her sanctuary. So, this weekend, once again, he had lost his room and his bed, and was relegated to the couch.

When he first heard Lois was coming with Chloe to stay for the weekend, he was aggravated as he always got when she came, but then when the two of them convinced him to go out together and he found himself having a real nice time around them, he quickly forgot his annoyance and he was very happy, until it happened. He was taking a coffee at the Talon with Chloe, and Lois had just left when they heard all the people screaming at the street. They ran out of the Talon and stopped in shock in front of the sight before them. Lois was lying unconscious at the middle of the street. A hit and run, people were saying. For a terrible moment he thought she was dead, and he was astonished at how devastated he suddenly felt. It was like he couldn't breathe anymore and he felt just as dead as he thought she was. Then, he heard it: her heartbeat, steady and strong. He ran away to get her while Chloe was dialing 911. The rest of the day was spent in the hospital hallway, waiting for news about Lois.

At the end, everything turned all right actually. Some bruises, maybe a headache, but nothing major. The only thing left was his fears, his guilt, and these memories, taunting him, telling him he couldn't save her that he could have lost her. And this one question rose from the middle of this mess: why it was so important not to lose her? And for once, Clark didn't have this answer… Trying to focus his hearing, once again, in the sounds around him, Clark suddenly heard steps coming from the stairs, and when he looked up the subject of his reveries came down the stairs wearing her funny looking pajamas and her bunny slippers. He looked at her, unobserved as she went slowing towards the kitchen. He didn't know why exactly he found himself following her. She went to the cupboard and took a glass and poured herself a glass of milk. When she suddenly became aware she wasn't alone.

"Jeez, Smallville" She jumped. "What are you, the ghost of Christmas past?" She spilled the milk on her favorite slippers. "Great!" She complained. "Look at what you did."

"Me? I just went here to see what you were going to do in the kitchen. Last time you came here at night you brought a dog that devoured everything in sight!" He explained.

"What? You mean your dog, 'Clarkie'?"

"I mean my dog, Shelby."

"Yeah, because you really didn't like that dog." She said drinking the rest of the milk. "So, why are you haunting this house at this late hour? I used to think farm boys sleep with birds and get up with the chicken."

"I couldn't sleep." He said tiredly.

"Oh, sure." She smiled. "I'm always forgetting 'your complicated thing' with Lana. You know, Smallville, you should go for something lighter. You and Lana are so 'drama king and queen' that I don't know if this make you perfect for each other or what." He looked at her as if she had suddenly grown two heads. What the hell had Lana to do with this?

"I tell you what, Smallville. You should pick up a glass of milk, then close your eyes and start counting sheep or cows, or your blessings or whatever. Or" She said smirking, "You could just replay all your 'one step forward two steps backward' pseudo romance. That will certainly do the trick. Just thinking about it is making me yawn already."

"Funny, Lois. Notice me laughing hysterically." Clark replied annoyed. "What makes you think I'm thinking about Lana?"

"Let me see, anguished expression on your face, far away look of pain in you eyes, yeah that screams miss 'I was possessed by an evil slut, so that makes everything I did perfect okay'." She said imitating perfectly the Lana's tone of voice and the way she usually speaks.

"Well, I wasn't" Clark cut her sharply.

She stopped talking and looked at him. She was noticing now how tired he was looking and that something serious was really bothering him.

"Okay" She said. "Talk."

"Excuse me?"

"Listen, Smallville. I can see you are in the mood for a pity party and I bucked myself my ticket to downhill parade. You got my own and undivided attention, so, amuse me." He looked blankly at her. "You know you'll tell me sooner or later, so why don't you spare us some time and start talking. You know, move you lips, let sound come out of your mouth, build some phrases…"

"I'm not talking to you!"

"Well, suit yourself." She replied.

Clark stormed out of the kitchen. Calmly, Lois sat down and poured herself some more milk. One minute later, he came back and looked at her in silence. Their eyes met on some silent argument. After some minutes just staring at one another, Clark gave up, lowered his eyes and started.

"I was thinking about what happened today." He said quietly as if this explained everything. She looked confused. A lot of things happened today. What exactly he meant by that?

"I'm not sure I'm following." He stared at her. She went on. "You know, though I lived with your family for a while I'm not exactly fluent on your 'non-verbals' yet, so, you better make yourself clear here because I'm totally not getting you."

"Your accident, Lois." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You almost died."

So this was what all this was about? She couldn't believe it. "Wow. I know you didn't exactly like me, Clark, but I never expected you to be so devastated because I didn't die." She joked. "Word to the wise: don't worry, it will happen sooner or later." Then she noticed the haunted look in his eyes and immediately regretted what she had just said. It was painfully clear that her accident had affected him very much, why, she was completely clueless, but she couldn't let him like that. "Hey" She said almost tenderly "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, or I did, but it wasn't supposed to hurt you, just annoy, not hurt. You know that, right?" He smiled, yes he did. This was their relationship: their harsh words were not supposed to hurt, just to aggravate each other, nothing more…

Then, he started to talk and she listened. He told her everything he felt when he saw her lying unconscious on the street: his fears, his loneliness. He told her about how he sometimes felt so unable to help and how he couldn't stand losing anyone, how he couldn't stand losing her. And she just listened, quietly collecting every word he said. She never expected he could be so afraid of losing her, and this kind of warmed her heart even though she wasn't sure why this was so important to her.

They talked for a while, until Lois's eyes started to close against her wishes, and Clark was laughing at her sleepy face. "Guess you should go to bed before I have to take you to bed, Lois."

"In your dreams, Smallville. In your dreams." And she started to go to the stairs. Suddenly, Clark was by her side.

"Thank you, Lois."

She looked at him for a moment, and then, she kissed his right cheek whispering: "Any time, Smallville."

He stayed still at the stairs for a while, with his hand on his cheek and a smile slowly appearing on his lips.

The End.