A one-shot written as a birthday present for someone who no longer exists. Enjoy!
Booth sat down on the relentlessly uncomfortable hospital chair and sighed. Despite what Bones thought, he didn't always have the right words to say. Especially now. He looked sideways at the broken man next to him, at a loss to find some sort of comfort to offer.
"Sweets? Can I get you anything?"
The young psychologist shook his head slowly, dragging the gesture out as if he were under water. He looked up at Booth, then glanced around. "Where is Dr. Brennan?"
The question seemed out of context to Booth, but he knew that Sweets wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind to be thinking clearly. "Uh, she went with Angela to the nursery." Booth swallowed audibly before asking his next question. "Do you...um, do you want to go up there?"
Shaking his head again, Sweets stood and began to walk back and forth in front of where the agent sat. "I can't, Booth. Not yet." He dragged a shaking hand across his face. "I know that it's not the baby's fault, but right now...all I can think of is Daisy. I just..." Looking back at Booth, his face visibly paled. "I can't right now."
"Okay. That's okay, Sweets. If you want, we can go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee. Want to do that?" Booth stood and laid his hand on the younger man's shoulder.
"Thanks, but no. I need to call her family. How am I going to..." His voice broke and it seemed as though all the strength had gone out of his legs. He started to collapse, but Booth caught him mid-fall and pulled him back to the bank of chairs in the maternity waiting room.
Booth crouched down in front of Sweets and placed his hands on his forearms, holding him in place. "Look, Sweets...I can't pretend to know how you're feeling right now. But I can tell you that everything you're feeling is right, whatever it is. However you want to get through this, whatever you need...it's okay and you're not alone. We're all here for you. Just tell me what I can do, and it's done."
Sweets nodded again and tried to focus on Booth's face, vision blurred by tears and exhaustion. "Okay." He whispered. "Could I...can I have some privacy? I need to call Daisy's parents." With shaking hands, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and seemed to contemplate the device with a look of almost confusion.
"Sure, man. I'll go find Bones and Angela and be right back. Okay?" Booth stood and walked backwards out of the room, watching Sweets closely until he was out of sight.
When Booth was finally gone, all the hurt and anguish and pain he was feeling poured out of Sweets in a heart-rending, soul-crushing wail. He slid down the wall and hugged his legs to his chest, cell phone forgotten on the floor. Sobs tore from his throat and his face was awash in hot, salty, pain-riddled tears. All he could see in his mind was the vision of his wife's face, going from smiling joyously at the birth of their son to pale and quiet as her eyes slipped shut for the last time. The doctors said something about a blood clot that resulted from the placental abruption that had spurred Daisy's early labor. Everything had seemed fine after the emergency caesarian, but soon after the nurse showed Daisy her son, her heart rate dropped dangerously and they had forced Lance out of the delivery suite. He would never forget the look on the doctor's face when he came out thirty minutes later to tell him that his beloved wife, the mother of his child, was gone. It had been pure providence that Dr. Brennan had been standing next to him when the news was given, otherwise he might have hit the floor in his shock. But Brennan, with reflexes like a cat, caught him and helped him down, holding him close and quietly telling a weeping Angela to call Booth and Hodgins in her calm, soothing voice. Sweets was convinced that had it not been for Brennan he would have simply walked to the roof of the hospital and jumped. Anyone who accused that woman of being cold would have to answer to him from now on. She was a godsend.
After almost an hour of not-so-quiet grieving, Lance realized that he wanted...no, needed to go and see his son. Their son. The last piece of Daisy he would ever have. He wasn't proud of the fact that he waited this long, but he felt sure that she would understand. He stood shakily and headed for the elevators, nearly running into Booth's chest as the doors opened.
Booth took in his friend's ruddy complexion and red-rimmed eyes and pulled him into an embrace. Alpha male traits were useless when someone you cared about was hurting, apparently. The errant thought almost made Lance smile. Sniffing, he nodded at Booth and led him back into the elevator. Pressing the button for the nursery floor, he spared a glance at the agent next to him and realized that his eyes also bore evidence of tears. Oddly, the revelation eased some of the tightness in his chest.
When the elevator dinged, Booth stepped aside and let Sweets exit first, following closely in what Lance had come to recognize as his protective stance. Rounding the corner and seeing Brennan, Angela, Hodgins and Cam standing huddled together in front of the nursery window only served to solidify the decision he had come to when he was downstairs thinking of his wife.
Brennan saw them coming first, and stepped forward to take Lance in her arms. "How are you doing, Sweets?"
"I'm okay, Dr. Brennan. Thank you." He sniffed and accepted embraces from the other members of the team, even Hodgins. With a burning ache in his stomach, he walked up to the window to take his first look at Daisy's son. His son. Their son.
Dark, curly hair adorned his tiny head, while blue eyes stared back out into the eyes of his father for the first time. While Lance knew that the baby couldn't actually see him yet, he felt the connection instantly. A sense of peace washed over him, easing a bit of the pain in his heart. 'We'll be okay, little man.' he thought. 'We'll be more than okay, especially with our family here to support us.'. He turned and regarded the people standing around him, varying degrees of concern, love and pain on their faces.
"Daisy-" he gulped a bit and continued. "Daisy and I talked about what we would name a boy quite a bit. We wanted to give him a name, names that were also worn by good, strong brave men that we wished him to grow up to emulate. Daisy's father was a fireman for almost 50 years, saved countless lives and lived for his family. So, we had decided that if we had a son we would name him after her father...Nathaniel."
"That's a great name, Sweets." Booth clapped him on the shoulder affectionately. "A good, strong name. But what about his middle name?"
Sweets smiled softly at his friend and nodded to the window. "His full name will be Nathaniel Joseph Sweets."
Brennan wiped a tear from her cheek and hugged Sweets close, glancing at the shell-shocked look on Booth's face. "That's a wonderful name, Lance. Two strong, wonderful men for your son to look up to. And with you as his father, he will indeed have extremely strong male role models."
Angela and Hodgins were a little confused until Cam leaned over and whispered to them. Both broke out in identical grins, finally understanding Booth's reaction.
Booth placed a hand on Sweets shoulder. "Sweets, I don't know what to say. I really don't. I'm just-I'm honored, man."
"No, it's my honor, Booth. If my son grows up to be half the man you are, I'll be the luckiest father in the world." He turned back to the window and gazed lovingly at his son. "I only hope I can be enough for him."
Booth stood next to him and placed an arm around him. "Sweets, Daisy knew what kind of a man you are. She loved you and trusted you to be the father of her child. That should tell you everything you need to know. You can do this, I have no doubt."
Nodding again, Lance motioned to the nurse on the other side of the glass. She smiled and went to open the door for him. Turning to his family, he hugged each of them again and thanked them. "I am going to go hold my son now. I can't thank you all enough for..." He shook his head, the words lost in his constricted throat. "For everything."
They all returned his slight smile and waved him into the nursery, then headed off down the hall to give them some privacy. Sweets took a seat in the rocking chair the nurse pointed to, and tried to keep his hands from shaking as she handed Nathaniel to him. He took her instruction about supporting his head and, holding him tightly, he sank back and began to rock.
"Hey little man, I'm your dad." The word sounded odd on his tongue, but it sounded right. He closed his eyes and thought of what he wanted to tell this small miracle in his arms. "I just want you to know a few things. First and most importantly, your mother loves you. She-uh, she couldn't stay with us, although I know she wanted to more than anything in this world. And even though she's not here physically, she'll always be in our hearts, and always watching over us. We're lucky to have had her." He adjusted his position and placed the baby securely over his shoulder, patting his back softly. "There are other people you need to know about as well. My family. Your Uncle Booth, Aunt Brennan, Auntie Angela, Uncle Jack and Aunt Cam. They're your family too, now. And you'll learn a lot about the world from them, from all of them. They're an amazing group of people, and we're lucky to have them as well. They love you very much, and they'll all be there for you, whenever you need them. They're like that. Family is like that. You'll see."
The nurse came back and offered him a small bottle to feed Nathaniel, and he cradled his son and watched in fascination as he devoured the small amount of formula. Laughing, Sweets was surprised that he had begun to feel something close to joy as he remarked, "Already like your Uncle Booth, huh? You're too young for pie yet, buddy...but I'm sure he'll be happy to introduce you when you're old enough."
Then father and son silently rocked together, cementing an unbreakable bond between them. A bond forged of family.