CHAPTER 1 - PLEASE ENJOY
"I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you, Elena." I trailed my fingertips along her high cheekbones. "Don't drown me in the feud." Elena audibly gulped.
Dear Diary,
She's afraid of me. But still, it's undeniable that I feel for her; feel for the doppelganger who is so like Katherine yet impossibly different. How could I know something like this would happen? I can't shake the feeling that… how could I not have known? The truth has been in front of me the whole time I knew of her existence. She's a replica, a rope pulling on my heart-strings. The never-ending feeling of torture since Stefan betrayed me all those years ago is lost when I look at the truth, the truth that is Elena, a human. The meaning behind her has fooled me into thinking I can escape the path I've been set on, the road to my doom. Monstrous destruction is what I've known for so long, it's something I want to forget the feeling of. But if I do, If I let it all go… how can I be sure I'll never resort to it? Stefan can't taste human blood anymore; it's like a frenzy of sharks whenever he gets anywhere near the stuff. So no, I can't forget. I have to let it stay in my system; let it linger until nature lays me down for my final rest where I'll fly, sore with the demons that have escaped me. At the end I'll have to fall where I'll be among those I drained to nothing, those I left to burn to ash. I sit here, wanting to scream. I want to wake up. I want to be saved. And above all, I want to be human. I need my time to stop; to stop going on forever where the thoughts never end and my head feels like it's about to explode. In a realm where your heart never stops hurting, where you will always be broken, that's called hell. This is my hell and Elena is my heaven, my salvation; except she is not mine, nor will she ever be. Which means she is also my hell. She dulls the pain but inflicts the most excruciating blows. Everyone knows there's a fine line between love and hate, well Elena, sometimes I hate you, but always I love you.
Patiently,
Damon Salvatore