This mad little ramble was created when I noticed 'Brave Enough' by the splendiferous Flu updated. It's sort of a rebuttal to the original poem.
During a time not too long ago,
you asked if we were Brave Enough
To leap unto your empty maws
And face your frightful stings and claws.
Well I for one, say we're not scared!
To be frightened of you is like being scared of the stairs!
The Zombies? Pathetic! Just a simple-minded mouth!
They walk in a straight line and face us in a crowd!
Maybe if you were smarter you could possibly see
That with nothing but our fist we kill you, you're as deadly as a bee!
Spiders? How childish,
Skittering out of view.
Up along the walls you have us? What if we have a roof?
And yes you may be faster, but also you are fatter!
Through a one-block hole we play whack-a-mole
With you as the target!
Creepers? Oh I'm quaking!
Please, don't make me laugh.
With arrows or armor we've rendered you
Simply inefective!
Skeletons, the rangers, the ones that lie scared in back of rank,
Or - and I respect this - perhaps you decide to flank.
But the matter is, you simply suck, can't hit the side of a barn.
And if you strike, what was that? You deal but half a heart?
Cave spiders are truly dangerous, but they're quite simple too.
Drink some milk or eat their eye, and that poisons good as new!
They might be small and good in packs, but we never see you!
To judge your lack of appearance, it would seem you're too scared, you flew!
Silverfish, small and tiny,
making a feeble 'skree'
you hide in blocks and take one shot,
What fear is there to be?
Slimes, I won't even bother,
You've enough humiliation as it is,
Your strongest attack a feeble nudge, what's that supposed to do?
Endermen are another matter, strong and smart and quick.
Maybe we can reason across this moat that I have built!
Wait, do you feel that? Is there a drizzle coming on?
Better run under a tree, till you can see the sun!
Pigmen, pigmen, so sad to see,
What it is that's become of ye.
With but a few slashes your whole group is dead.
Let's count the loot shall we? A gold helmet, heavy as lead!
Magma cube, you're an imbecile, drowning as soon as you spawn.
Thats all I got to say 'bout that. Can we just move on?
Ghasts and blazes,
Flying foes,
You think you're very tough?
With rebound or arrow, or even snowball, quickly you will fall.
Enderdragon, how far you hide,
just not to taste our steel!
Your Vorpal poem can't save you now, our arrows you will feel!
I think I've proven us humans point,
Of how you're basically ants.
The question isn't our bravery
Its how you seem so Cowardly!
I sense a epic 1v1 poetry slam about to break out. *Cracks knuckles* Also, I'm in the market for a Beta Reader, if anyone is interested.