A/N: Honestly, I can't help myself. As of right now, I have three Kakashi-centric time travel fics... On the bright side, at least this one is a one-shot, so I don't have to worry about updating it!

It's a Mad, Mad World

Kakashi didn't think too much about it when he woke up in a decidedly smaller body, in a room filled with childhood possessions. He'd had this dream (nightmare) before, too many times to count. It came ritually like the night, and yet never left even when morning streams of daylight roused him from slumber (the lingering echoes it left in the cracks of Kakashi's mind snuggled in too deeply to be shaken out).

The Jounin, instead, stared around the room he was in, dazed and hands limp by his sides, trying not to remember even as the images of his childhood stirred haunting memories at him.

His vision of everything was so vividly bright and clear this time, unlike the usual murky scenes his dreams usually comprised of. The last time it was this vibrant, Kakashi had almost overdosed from a whole bottle of paroxetine. The little white pills had looked so welcomed in his dimly lit bathroom, scattered from the orange bottle into his clammy, pale hands. It was so welcomed against the screaming ghosts in Kakashi's head, trying to break free. He'd just wanted the pills to work, dammit, to silence the vicious spirits who refused to let him go (He hadn't meant to take that many).

He'd woken up in the hospital the next day, locked within white walls until he promised he wouldn't try it ever again.

This time he'd done nothing of the sort. Or at least Kakashi hoped not, noting how bleary and foggy his mind was of the last few actions he'd performed before surrendering to fitful oblivion. He couldn't have overdosed; he didn't break his promises ("Protect Rin in my place." "I promise.") – sometimes.

Kakashi didn't need to bother trying to figure out what horrid event his mind decided to transport him to. If he was a kid again, it was the usual of his several nightmares. Either the one with his father - he would always wake up in the musky blood-filled room of the Hatake Compound for that one; or the one where each of his teammate died off one by one as the dream proceeded onwards (Obito first, then Rin, then Minato-sensei - while their blood stained on Kakashi's trembling hands).

Kakashi wasn't in the family Compound, so he'd figure the latter.

Which teammate he was here to watch die once more, or perhaps all of them, he would find out later when he made his way onto the training grounds. It was almost depressing how he resigned himself to watching their deaths once again, but it'd been his fault they'd died (If only he'd seen that boulder. If only he didn't stick his Chidori through Rin's chest. If only he'd realised what Minato-sensei was up to sooner).

What kind of person would he be if he didn't pay his respects by suffering through his friends' (family's) final days with them once more – especially of something he'd inadvertently caused?

Kakashi dressed swiftly, pulling on the distinctive clothes he'd worn as a child. When everyone had gone from Kakash's life, he'd forgo his originality (along with his heart), opting to pull on a flak jacket like every other faceless shinobi. But that wasn't now.

Kakashi halted in front of the bathroom, unable to help himself.

He sought out his face in the bathroom mirror, not sure if he was loving or hating the lack of mis-matched eyes staring wearily back at him. On the one hand, it meant Obitio was still alive (even if the only time he could say that truthfully were in these dreadful dreams of his), but on the other, it also meant he'd lost the part of Obito who'd stayed by his side all these painful years.

Kakashi lifted a pale, gloved hand, touching the mirror where Obito's eye should've sat. He wanted to just sit there the rest of the day and stare thoughtlessly into his matching eyes until morning came and drew him out of this dream, before it could descend into a horrid nightmare. But Kakashi knew better than that.

With determination that seemed a lot stronger than it actually was, Kakashi managed to push himself away from the bathroom and out of the house. He pulled his headband over his left eye along the way, recalling that one time he'd left it up. It'd started bleeding rivers of blood, swirling down the floor with an endless flow. It became a morbid red string of fate, leading Kakashi to Obito's broken, battered body, drawing Obito's death so much sooner than he'd expected to see it.

The sight had haunted him, leaving constricting coils around his lungs the weeks after whenever Kakashi was forced to use the Sharingan in battle (because Kakashi was afraid it would lead him to the sight of another comrade lying lifelessly on the cold, unforgiving ground).

The silver-haired man, or boy rather, wandered into their Team Seven training grounds where the other members were waiting, as like all memory dictated them to be. Minato was there, hair shining under the sun in a bright glow that Kakashi felt like he could stare at forever. And beside him was Rin, bright, happy, cheerful, and nothing like the coughing, kneeled-over form (with blood spewing from her lips and a Chidori through her heart) that Kakashi had seen her last.

The copy-cat ninja wandered to his usual spot facing the trees, knowing any moment Obito would burst through. And then the nightmare would be right on track – as always.

"What happened to your eye?" Minato asked suddenly, his voice echoing in concern – a tremor Kakashi never realised he had remember clearly enough for his mind to replay such convincingly.

Kakashi was silent for a moment uncertain of what to say. His hallucinations had never been this inquisitive before. They usually just went on like nothing was wrong, leading up to that dreaded event, no matter what Kakashi tried to do or say.

By now he had learned to just flow along with the story, enjoying spending time (even if it was all in his head) with his teammates, and hoping the scarring that came afterwards wouldn't be as painful as it had been all the other times. It usually was, though.

Perhaps it was his own unconscious way of punishing himself (because god knows he deserved it. He failed them all when they needed him the most).

But today... perhaps his mind decided not to be so predictable; so pedestrian (or maybe he was slowly going insane).

"Aaah, I didn't want it to start bleeding again," Kakashi answered honestly - the truthful answer for that dream world, at least. Because in the dream Kakashi didn't have his (Obito's) Sharingan yet, and he feared that mentioning it would unceremoniously drop their team back into that damp, crumbling cave in a fluid transition that Kakashi never found fault with until he'd woken up the next day.

No, he wanted more time with his team before the inevitable occurred.

"Bleeding?!"

Kakashi glanced his single, uncovered eye upwards, watching shocked expressions spread over the faces of Rin and Minato. They seemed so real this time, but Kakashi knew better than to hope (because if he ever started to even just poke at that optimistic idea, the pain would be so much sharper when they fell). "Yes."

Minato looked alarm and frantic, something Kakashi didn't want to see stitched on his sensei's face.

Obito's arrival was a welcomed interruption – as it always was – drawing away the blond's attention. "Did I make it in time?" the boy huffed out.

The words made the silver-haired boy smile gently. They were what Kakashi had teasingly called Obito's signature quote (Just after "Those who disobey the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash!").

Orange visors reflected light as the goggled boy turned over to look at Kakashi, as if expecting a scalding comment from the boy. Kakashi wisely kept his mouth shut to stop what he knew wouldn't be the expected insults.

There was so much Kakashi wanted to say to the Uchiha that he still never managed to exhaust out in front of the memorial stone. But Kakashi knew better than to break down apologizing to the Obito in his dreams. The moment he opened his mouth with anguished guilt spilling out from it, Kakashi knew it would only speed up to Obito's dreaded end, where the Uchiha's ghost would stand in front of the cave, a vicious "It's all your damn fault Kakashi, you bastard!" shouted at him. - Like it had so many times before when Kakashi hadn't managed to stop himself in time, and had thrown himself in front of Obito, pleading for forgiveness.

Kakashi kept quiet, so it was Obito's turn to talk next and carry on the conversation like nothing was off. "What happened to your eye?" The goggled boy asked, instead of his usual spew of excuses.

Repetition. That was odd. Even odder than the change in script. Kakashi had long figured out that once one person knew something, so did the others (It was all in his mind, after all). Perhaps his mind was really going for realism this night.

"Bleeding," Kakashi said succinctly.

He wondered how long it would take before his mind decided that dream Obito should stop acting so real? If it didn't stop soon, Kakashi wasn't sure if he would be able to keep his promise and not lose himself to another bottle of happy pills the moment he woke up in his lonely, solitary world once more.

Obito gave Kakashi a confused look. "What?"

Kakashi looked away, for once actually wishing the dream would speed to the haunting beginnings of a nightmare much sooner. It felt so genuine this time, and he couldn't take it. His chest was already stinging with wrenching heart-break at their too-real expressions.

Kakashi hadn't realised Obito was striding up to him until the boy suddenly grabbed his arm. He hadn't noticed because it was Obito (because Obito was a part of him; living in his eye and mind like he'd always belonged there). Kakashi was much too used to the feel of Obito behind his loaned swirling red Sharingan eye to even register the goggled boy's presence as anything but Kakashi's own self.

"Hey Kakashi, what's wrong with you today? You're … quiet," Obito asked, concern seeping into his usually boisterous tones. The worry in his voice only made Kakashi hate himself so much more.

"Stop acting so wrong," Kakashi whispered out, inciting nothing but confusion from the rest of the group.

Minato made his way over from the rock he was sitting on, crouching in front of Kakashi. "Are you feeling alright?" he murmured softly. The blond raised a hand, moving it towards the silver-haired boy's headband, looking like he was going to lift it up.

Kakashi took a giant step backwards fearing the reaction Minato would show after seeing what was underneath, more than anything. His dream was already taking such an odd turn. Who's to say underneath wasn't a gleaming Sharingan? And the moment Minato saw it, Kakashi illogically feared the man would grow vicious, calling him a murderer, while the scenery around them crumbled like wet sand until they were standing in a cold, vacant lot littered with nothing but lifeless bodies (Obito amongst them), eyes gauged out and hollow.

"Can we move on?" Kakashi pleaded needingly. Can we move on to something I recognise; something I can prepare myself for?

Minato lowered his arm. "Perhaps we shouldn't take today's mission," he pondered out loud.

Obito's eyes widened at that. "What?! Forget about Bakakashi. I've had enough of all the stupid D-ranks. I want to do it!"

Kakashi merely hummed and rocked on his heels, already knowing the outcome of this argument. No matter what Kakashi said or did, there was always something that happened, forcing their mission to occur (and in today's case, pressured by Obito's insistence). Ironic that; dream Obito was insisting on the mission that was soon to kill him (Kakashi's mind had a warped sense of humour, didn't it?).

Rin hopped down from her spot and joined the conversation before Kakashi had realised it. "Obito, it's just a C-rank. We can always get another one." She flickered her eyes over to the silver-haired boy. "Kakashi doesn't look well today."

Her words gave Kakashi a pause. A C-rank? But wasn't it supposed to be the Kannabi Bridge mission – it always was. Kakashi turned, looking curiously at his sensei. "Oh?" Was his mind trying for creative today; what disgusting fantasies was Kakashi's cracked mind going to play out onto his teammates' imagined forms in order to break his already chipping mind into a thousand pieces more?

The flow of the conversation seemed to favour what was actually being said instead of what was floating desperately in the front of Kakashi's mind (Were his dreams always like that, or was he remembering things wrong?). Minato answered the wrong question to Kakashi's 'Oh?' by latching to the end of Rin's comment instead.

"Rin's right, you don't look very well. You seem distracted by something, Kakashi. And your eye ..."

"What's our mission?" Kakashi directed urgently, already shoving aside the weird conversation his mind's manifestation of Minato-sensei had wanted to take. For an idle second Kakashi wondered again what he'd done that day before falling asleep, for his dream to take such a strange, unusual route.

Minato frowned at him before letting out a soft sigh. "C-rank. We're patrolling the area around the Fire Country border because of the sightings of unallied shinobi spotted loitering suspiciously there a few months back." The blond glanced seriously at the boy. "The trail is most likely cold by now, but that doesn't mean I'm letting you go out there if you're not at the top of your game."

But that was … extraordinary. Kakashi distinctly remembered doing that mission months before the Kannabi Bridge. Why was his dream starting so early in time (Inwardly Kakashi wondered if it was so that when his teammates fell, he would hurt so much more – because these days his usual nightmares didn't burn as much as they had when they'd first started appearing)?

His mind, Kakashi decided, was a sadistic thing.

"Can we go please, sensei?" Obito begged beside them.

Minato fixed his cerulean blue eyes on Kakashi who only shrugged, wondering why this scene was taking so long to play out.

"Let's go," Kakashi finally said when he realised they would be at a stand-still forever unless he said something (not that Kakashi minded staying in this scene forever – better than seeing Obito die. But Obito would die in the end of the nightmare, that was a given. And seeing his best friend die outside of Konoha, where Kakashi wouldn't be constantly reminded of it as he walked through the village after he'd woken up, seemed like a much better idea).

They'd made it to the border as easily as Kakashi remembered it from his painfully nostalgic memories.

When the enemy shinobi appeared just as Kakashi recalled, he was almost surprised how normal they looked. Kakashi half assumed they would become twisted into grotesque figures, monstrously vicious, fueled by everything that was wrong with Kakashi's bent mind.

But no, they jumped out exactly as it'd happened so many years ago in the world of reality. It was so ordinary Kakashi almost didn't know what to think (because his damaged mind loved to torture him with things that were anything but ordinary, and his nightmares were always worse than this). So, Kakashi merely flowed through his motions of fending off the enemies like he knew he was supposed to do.

The silver-haired boy could feel himself moving instinctively, ducking punches, and launching furious kicks, without really paying attention to anything around. Kakashi fought half-heartedly, wondering what of this scene his delusional mind would twist to sully the bitter-sweet memory. Was Obito going to be struck down here, by these nobodies, and be robbed of the heroic gesture the Uchiha had performed in his last dying breath?

Kakashi didn't realise his mind hated Obito that much to taint a memory so precious to both of them.

But then again, there was something wrong with this scene, unlike the many horrid nightmares Kakashi had already been through. But Kakashi couldn't place a finger on the problem.

Perhaps it was the fact that his chakra control seemed so much under his own control this time. Kakashi could remember a time under dreams of falling rocks when he'd tried his hardest to perform a Doton (or honestly, just about anything to keep those damned boulders away from Obito!) to no avail, as his chakra failed and sputtered even though in real life he could've easily performed one in a flash.

And as consumed as he was by such crushingly dreary thoughts, Kakashi didn't notice an enemy nin closing in on him until he was caught by a fisted punch in the stomach. Air rushed out of his lungs as Kakashi twisted his body in the midair he was flung into, feeling the cold sting of a metal blade slicing his arm just as he turned away.

He launched himself at the enemy in retaliation the moment his two feet touched the floor again, kunai in his hands and chakra boosting his speed.

From the corner of his lone grey-blue eye Kakashi spared a glance at the enemy flung back from his attack, not actually caring what happened to him, but rather just to note that he would be out of the way. And he would be, Kakashi confirmed, watching the enemy hit his head on the truck of a tree, knocked out. With a nod at that, Kakashi turned around and headed back into battle, habitually raising a gloved hand to brush aside his drooping silver-hair.

His arm froze half way.

Kakashi's heart slammed urgently at his chest as the boy jerked his hand down again, his throbbing arm thanking him the whole way. He desperately tried to breathe as his breath came in choppy intakes.

This wasn't right. Pain. He was feeling pain!

(Since when could he feel physical pain in dreams?)

What was going on? Kakashi pressed a clammy hand onto his wound, staring fascinated as the crimson blood soaked his glove, dying it red. He hadn't even realised he was frozen in place, completely ignoring the fluttering of movements occurring around him.

His teammates' echoing cries were what drew Kakashi's attention back from his daze. His grey-blue eye snapped up and sought out Obito quicker than ever. Kakashi found him trapped and outnumbered in a corner, clearly lacking the skill to defend himself. If Kakashi had glanced a bit further, he would've seen Minato-sensei ready to speed the Uchiha's way, but Kakashi's vision was tunneled towards the goggled boy and nothing more (because he finally felt like there might've been a chance to save Obito, after years and years of failing his friend every night).

Kakashi rushed out, eyes fixed on the enemy who seemed so intent on harming his precious family. The boy raised a pale gloved hand, shoving up his headband in a gesture everyone (or at least everyone who knew his moniker) knew meant Kakashi was out for blood (because Sharingan Kakashi let no one who'd faced his Sharingan get away. Especially those hurting his comrades).

But Kakashi didn't have the Sharingan underneath. But what did that really matter?

Maybe it was all in the mind, the advantageous boost that came with lifting his headband (or maybe it was the fact that before then, all he'd been fighting with was one lone eye, complete with its dangerous blind spot), but Kakashi felt the world rush clearer around him as he charged forwards.

Kakashi cut down the enemies in swift movements. Like the wind gracefully weaving through, he dashed about, leaving fallen bodies in his wake.

The kunai in his hand crackled with white chakra, violently laced and sparking on its metal head like a circuit. As if cutting down the enemy was not enough, Kakashi shorted their nervous system with each strike. They went down and stayed down. Obito and Rin, huddled safely behind him, stayed free of harm.

When the last of the shinobi were struck down, Kakashi collapsed into a stagger. He dropped the bloody kunai, glistening with the enemies' blood, from his hands. He felt fatigued (was he really? Or was it merely psychological after all his years of feeling drained whenever he was finished fighting in a battle where his two eyes were open?). Kakashi ignored the red taint on his hand as he clumsily pulling back down his headband to its distinctive tilt, covering up his left eye.

Team Seven moved cautiously around him as they neared.

"Rin, Obito, go make sure none of the enemies are still conscious," Kakashi dimly heard their sensei direct. The blond turned to him after the two had left, voice softening when he spoke up next like Kakashi was delicate. "Calm down," Minato ordered. His fingers were stretched like he wanted to touch Kakashi, but was fearing the white lightening chakra lingering on the top of Kakashi baby fat.

But Kakashi was calm. He felt composed and collected, and in fact he never felt better (because even if it weren't that dreaded mission, he'd finally saved Obito. Finally). Minato probably thought the angry white sparks dancing on Kakashi's skin were from uncontrolled chakra, instinctively produced in an attempt of self-preservation from the rush and fear of the battle.

But no, Kakashi was in full control, even if he found it hard to believe himself.

It was so odd. Control and pain... (It couldn't be that he was actually... awake, could it?)

"Kakashi," Minato said.

The boy was unresponsive. Kakashi was too busy staring into his oozing wound in astonishment to care.

"Kakashi."

There was another moment of silence before the boy flickered his single right eye upwards for a second. "Yes?" The silver-haired boy murmured distractedly, still mesmerized at the flowing blood slithering down his arm. His other hand traced the wound in hesitant circles, feeling growing hope at the stings of pain he felt with every movement.

Minato's lips were pressed into a thin, concerned line. "You're in shock," the man decided knowingly.

Kakashi shook his head. "Don't worry, sensei. I'm not traumatised. I'm just ... amazed at how red my blood is," the silver-haired boy answered, despite knowing that that didn't sound any saner (But since when were ninjas – the hands of children coated in blood of their first kill before puberty even kicked in – sane?). The colour of his blood; the smell of the coppery fluid; the absolute pain of his throbbing arm – Kakashi's dreams couldn't mimic something like that so perfectly (It never could, despite to amount of time he'd spend coated under the substance throughout his whole life).

So he was wrong, then? He was wrong this entire time? This wasn't another one of his wretched dreams, impatient to shatter what was left of his hanging sanity?

Could Kakashi dare to let himself hope something so absolutely wonderful?

Was he actually awake?

"Are you real?" Kakashi murmured softly, peaking hesitantly at Minato under long silver lashes in what he tried not to seem too much like hope and need.

Minato kneeled beside him, hand already working on bandaging Kakashi's arm once he'd managed to get the boy to stop prodding and agitating the wound. "Did they try putting you under a genjutsu?" the blond asked conversationally, even though Kakashi could hear the overflowing unease under his sensei's tone.

"Not really."

There was silence as the blond finished dressing the wound. Minato stood up, studying the boy in a gaze that feared too much. "I think … therapy," Minato said in a voice that sounded stronger than it really was. "I'm booking an appointment for you when we get back."

"I'm fine, sensei. It's nothing that hasn't happened to other shinobi." Other Jounin, Kakashi wanted to say, but he wasn't one yet (and in a way he was also lying because it wasn't something that had happened to other shinobi before. Kakashi didn't think he could name anyone else who's dream actually turned out to be reality).

Of course, Minato couldn't have known about the lie in Kakashi's statement. He took the words as 'shock from killing a whole army of shinobi in cold blood' instead. "Not to someone as young as you. Other shinobi have years of experience to help cope with the shock."

"Six years is long enough," Kakashi said gently (and twenty years was even longer).

This was nothing Kakashi hadn't done before, and any other time, Minato wouldn't have said anything about it. Because Kakashi knew it wasn't the amount of ninjas he'd killed that worried the blond. It was Kakashi's odd, odd behaviour (but it wasn't his fault; he'd thought he'd fallen into yet another one of his recurring nightmares) that was setting the man on edge.

"I'm fine, Minato-sensei. Honestly," Kakashi stressed, stretching a comforting smile under his mask. Inwardly he was wishing for a distraction – anything to stop Minato from looking so intensely at him. His prayers were answered. The silver-haired boy tilted his head over to the side where Obito was arriving, Rin not too far behind him. Minato immediately turned to face them, drawing out an inaudible sigh of relief from Kakashi.

Obito nodded at the blond. "Done. No one's going to up and attack us any time soon," he said. The goggled boy turned over to Kakashi. "Dude, what did you do?" he asked, with excited curiosity.

Kakashi shrugged. "I have lightening affinity. I fed it through my kunai to shock their systems," he replied, hoping no one noticed the slight wavering in his tone as he forced himself to speak calmly to Obito. Minato shot him a glance before leaving the two of them alone to re-check Kakashi's damage to the enemy. At the very least, the blond seemed glad Kakashi looked like he was willing converse with Obito (talking to friends was a type of therapy, after all).

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "And that has nothing to do with what you're hiding under your headband?"

"My eye?"

"I don't know!" the boy cried, throwing up his hands. "You pushed your headband up and then you went crazy strong."

"It's just a normal eye."

Obito sulked, arms crossed. "Liar! You wouldn't be covering it if it was! I bet you transplanted some sort of lightening-laser beam eye underneath." Kakashi snorted slightly, but it was unheard as Obito continued his rant. "First your mouth, and now your left eye. I bet next year there'll be nothing left uncovered," he said, jabbing a finger in Kakashi's face.

"It's a requirement for anyone who wish to enlist in Anbu to slowly learn to fully cover their whole face, so that wearing a mask will not feel unusual," Kakashi said teasingly.

Obito considered it. "Really?"

"No."

"Oh god, are you making a joke? Did you hit your head?!"

Kakashi quirked his lips under the mask into a playful grin. It felt great to banter with the raven-haired boy. It was nothing like squatting in front of the cold memorial stone, and having nothing but the wailing cries of haunting memories and nightmares to help him remember Obito's voice. For once he could stare all he wanted at the boy without his mind suddenly flickering to an image of a half-crushed Obito (grinning weakly up at him in relief that Kakashi was alright, rather than pain that Kakashi knew he certainly had to have been feeling).

"I'm … sorry." Kakashi braced himself as he uttered the words – braced himself for what exactly, Kakashi wasn't sure (Perhaps deep within his mind, Kakashi was still dreading that this was nothing more than pictures and fantasies playing inside his dream. Perhaps he was still afraid that apologising would break this wonderful illusion like it had all the other times).

But nothing happened.

The world didn't crumble around them, and Obito's baby face stayed clean and whole. His eye didn't suddenly sink into mush, dripping out of its sockets in a deep crimson flow, pooling around them. – nothing happened at all!

"Sorry for what?" Obito had asked while Kakashi was still fearing for the worst.

Kakashi closed his eyes. Air exhaled jaggedly from his lungs in uneven breathy chuckles of relief. It was real. It was real. It was REAL!

"Hey, are you listening to me?!" Obito complained.

Kakashi opened his eyes. He fixed his glaze on Obito, drinking in the boy's image. He stared.

"Kakashi?"

A content smile tugged at Kakashi's lips as the boy felt at ease, hearing that nostalgic annoyed tone. Even so, Kakashi didn't answer. He just continued to stare for all it was worth.

"Say something already, Bakakashi!"

He would, if he could. There was so much Kakashi wanted to say to Obito, but nothing that wouldn't get him locked up in a white padded room, restrained to the bones. And Kakashi couldn't have that. Not when the remainder of his life was better spend with them, beside his family, for the rest of his days. So, Kakashi did nothing but continued to stare, his words (they were inappropriate to say at this time, and gods, it'd better not be appropriate ever again, because he was done with saying sorry to people who could no longer hear him) dead on his lips.

It was a mad, mad dream Kakashi had fallen in, but he had no intention of ever crawling out. Because no matter what, this mad, mad dream was actually his mad, mad reality, and he refused to let it go.