Hello everyone, and Welcome to the show
Tonight, the Eyeshield 21 cast members will be in reenacting the Grimm Brother's 'Little Red Riding Hood' and I, Yukimitsu Manabu will be narrating it.
Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood
Once upon a time, there was a famous Japanese high school football team with a famous running back called Kobayakawa Sena, and he-
Script director: Yukimitsu-senpai! that's not the right script!
Yukimitsu: huh? looks at script EH?! Sorry sir!!
Script director: OK! From the beginning again! ACTION MAX!
Yes. Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was loved by everyone, platonically and was loved by everyone, not so platonically, but most of her loved by her grandmother...who in fact loved mango pudding a little more than she loved her granddaughter. Once, her grandmother gave her a red velvety cape in exchange for some mango pudding, which the little girl wore under non-humid conditions during winter. And so she was called 'Little Red "Devil-Bat" Riding Hood'.
Once day, her mother said to her "Come here, Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood, here is a basket of mango pudding. Take it to your grandmother, she's been ill and sick and these will make her lively again."
The grandmother just happened to live out in the creepy forest somewhere. While on her merry way, Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood met a wolf. Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood peed her panties a little at the devilish appearance of the wolf and was very, very afraid of him.
"YA-HA! Little Red "fucking" Riding Hood!", he greeted.
"ah--Hello, Mr. Wolf", Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood replied as she bowed that low bow every time
someone had greeted her.
"Where the hell are you going Little Red "fucking" Riding Hood", the wolf asked.
"To my grandmother's", Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood answered.
"Kekekeke, what have you got in your basket?" the wolf questioned again.
"Mango pudding. Last night we got an e-mail from our grandmother and she said she was feeling sick and needed some mango pudding to cheer her up." Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood said.
Script director: sees Yukimitsu waver CUT CUT CUT MAX.
Yukimitsu: script director-san...this "Little Red "Devil-bat" Riding Hood" is getting REALLY annoying to say every SINGLE LINE!
Script Director: Yukimitsu-senpai! Just stick to the script MAX! It's important!
Yukimitsu: TT
Script director: fine. Just use "fucking shrimp" from now on...--;; although we REALLY shouldn't. gets back to camera set alright ACTION MAX!
"Where does your grandmother live Little Red "fucking" Riding Hood" the wolf enquires.
"A good 40 yards into the forest from this point. Her house HAS to stand out from all the conbini's it's situated in the middle of..." the fucking shrimp drifted off into thought.
'Kekeke. what a pretty little thing. Sure, the fat grandma would be a good treat too. But this fucking girl is just too tasty!' the wolf thought to himself.
"Alright Little Red fucking shrimp, why don't you pluck some of these nice flowers for your fat grandma and dance and skip a little while you're at it" the wolf suggested.
"Ah...ok." the fucking shrimp agreed and began to gaily hop around just as the wolf had planned.
Meanwhile, the wolf silently escaped the scene and soon arrived at the grandmother's door. He shot at it with his brand new AK-47, whilst laughing manically.
"Who's there?...", the grandmother asked, calling from her bed. "What a pain...I'm human after all" she mumbled.
"It's me, Little Red "fucking" Riding Hood, grandma. I brought mango pudding for you." The wolf called, imitating the fucking shrimp's tender, sweet voice.
"MANGO PUDDING!!", the grandmother suddenly gained all energy to get off her bed and fast, as fast as she could, to open the door to receive her dear, dear mango pudding. Oh, and of course, her granddaughter…
"Listen up fucking fat grandma! I've brought you a YEARS supply of mango pudding. And you're going to sit in that closet and eat them silently. No questions!" the wolf dragged the box containing the year's supply of mango pudding and threw it into the closet. The grandmother was in total awe from laying eyes on a year's supply if mango pudding for the first time in her life. The wolf then began to shoot at the grandmother's feet, bringing her back from staring at what classified as her heaven.
The wolf draped some of the grandmothers garment over himself and rested on the bed clicking away on his laptop waiting for the fucking shrimp to arrive.
Soon after, the fucking shrimp arrived and the wolf had left the door unlocked so she could let herself in.
'This feels strange...I usually don't like to hang-out with my grandmother, but this...this feels very different...I wonder if I can do this...' the fucking shrimp thought to herself.
"Hello ther-", the fucking shrimp started. "Oh grandmother, what big POINTY ears you have!" she exclaimed.
"All the better to hear you with, you fucking shrimp", the wolf responded.
"Wow, grandmother, what large devilish eyes you have...and extra eye-liner...?", the fucking shrimp questioned, as she noticed the dark outlines around the wolf's eyes.
"They let fucking-beardy do the make-up during the half-time, and all the better to see you with, you fucking shrimp" the wolf explained, managing to snap in and out of character, instantly.
"Oh, but, grandmother, what SHARP bad teeth you have", the fucking shrimp countered.
"All the better to chew you with, YA-HA!" the wolf rejoiced, as he pounced on the fucking shrimp and began to chew on her plum red lips.
Suddenly the door breaks open and a hunter barges in. "I shall save you Eyeshield-twen...I mean, fucking shrimp!" the Hunter proclaimed his intentions, without a shred of emotion.
The hunter used his famous spear tackle, with an actual spear and reached for the wolf, wounding him profusely. As fake blood, (prepared for the show) begins to drip down his stomach, the wolf fell to the floor, pretending to be dead.
"Thank you Hunter-san" the fucking shrimp said with gratitude, eyes sparkling.
"You're welcome, fucking shrimp. Just remember that the ones going to the Christmas bowl will be OUJO!" the Hunter claimed as his eyes widened at the last word.
The fucking shrimp looked around shiftily and bowed at the audience, signaling for the curtains to fall.
END of show
Yukimitsu: Shin! you were supposed to say "Your welcome little girl. We should find your grandmother and save her too" and you weren't supposed to break the door!
Shin: I tried to open it with less force. It just broke. And the ones going to the Christmas bowl will be OUJOU! Shin's eyes widened again
Yukimitsu: sigh he had TWO lines and he couldn't even say them properly. Well, everyone else did well at least. Yukimitsu patted Sena on the back Nice work Sena!
Monta a.k.a Script director: WELL DONE MAX! What did you think Musashi-senpai?
Musashi (part of audience): well...it would've worked better if you didn't say things like
"fake blood" and "pretending to be dead" and "e-mail" or "conbini". But whatever, good effort.
And what's with the wolf having a gun and a laptop. Did you people even read the original story?
Hiruma: There's no proper reenactment without my guns or my laptop, fucking old man! Kekeke
That's Little Red "fucking" Riding Hood for ya! YA-HA!
--end--