The Cullen's Go On MSN

by LivingInThePast1901

Ok so its a bit OTT but still! Rated M for language!

1. Chapter 1

Ok so its a bit messed but hey!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

...: No you don't.

Me: AAAAHHHHHHHHH

~Edwards bitch~ Has logged in.

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ Has logged in.

~ Edwards bitch ~ says:

Good name

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ says:

Hey I guess I managed to successfully change your name!

I'm good

~ Edwards bitch ~ says:

You did this you evil bastard ill kick your ass

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ says:

Ha-ha says the human

~ Edwards bitch ~ says:

ill go get Carlisle to bite me then

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ says:

N0 DON'T TELL DADDY!

~ Edwards bitch ~ has logged off

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ says:

Hello?

Bella?

GREAT!

I hope Edward likes his name! :D

~ bella is my bitch ~ has just logged in

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ says:

Edward! Meh 100 year old virgin of a bruv

WAASSSUUPP???

~bella is my bitch ~ says:

i actually just had some pretty good sex with tanya actually bruv

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ says:

really?

~bella is my bitch ~ says:

yeah she is sucking my cock now

~GrizzlyBearsFearMe~ has logged off (To change his name)

~GangstaaEmmInDehHousee~ has logged in

~bella is my bitch ~ has logged out

~GangstaaEmmInDehHousee~ says:

MEH BRUVS GONE

Wait 'till I tell Bella 'bout Edward and his fuck-toy!

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit~ has just logged in

~GangstaaEmmInDehHousee~ says:

Jacob is dat youzz?

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

nope its bella

~GangstaaEmmInDehHousee~ says:

WAASSSUUPPP Belsie?

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

im crying in the toilet emmy bear edwards a bastard

and tanyas a slut and whour

~GangstaaEmmInDehHousee~ says:

not a bastard a virgin

who was dared by MWA to fuck Tanya

Hehe I'm an evil genius

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

no he wasnt i walked in on them and he told me he wanted to break up cuz he likes the fuck toy better

~GangstaaEmmInDehHousee~ says:

i still dared him, its no fun if he wants to do it

~GanstaaEmmInDehHousee~ Has logged off sulking

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

emmy bear can i have a bear hug

im alll alone every one hates me

~StupidShinyVolvoOwner~ Has signed in.

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

sup bruv

~StupidShinyVolvoOwner~ says:

Who in the world is this?

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

this is bellsie

and you are

~StupidShinyVolvoOwner~ Is smacking his head against the wall for leaving his Belsie.

~StupidShinyVolvoOwner~ says:

Edward

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

nope thats not right is fuckward dickward and bastard

oh dont forget asswhole

~StupidShinyVolvoOwner~ says:

Stupid Emmett and stupid Tanya stupid me

i deserve every name you call me

*sob*

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

go fuck tanya

~StupidShinyVolvoOwner~ Has logged off to go to Volterra

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

yay fuckward is going to kill hisself

~I Can See Your Future~ Has signed in.

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

aliiiii

~I Can See Your Future~ says:

Why has Edward smashed all of his walls and is now leaving for Volterra?

BELSIE?

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

cuz he dumped me for his fuck toy tanya

~I Can See Your Future~ says:

In the words of Rose: YOU STUPID BIMBO!

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

who me

~I Can See Your Future~ says:

YEAH YOU!

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

why me im not blond

~I Can See Your Future~ says:

Rose keeps taking the pc

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

ok

~I Can See Your Future~ Has been disconnected

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

ok then

~BetterThanYou~ Has logged in.

~BetterThanYou~ Says:

BELLA

edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

yeah

~BetterThanYou~ says:

i say we get revenge

we all know you love Edward

so make it even

i will even allow you to borrow Emmett...

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

no cuz i found out QUIL imprinted on me ohhhh SHOCK

~BetterThanYou~ says:

Alice has already gone to get Edward

and nice try but Quil imprinted on Claire

seriously we have Jasper and he knows you still love each other!

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

damn OK THEN EMBRY ACCTUALLY DID IMPRINT ON ME

i hate FUCKWARD

~BetterThanYou~ says:

Then why is Embry fucking Leah

?

Doggy style i might add.

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

LMAO OK BRADY OR COLIN IMPRINTED ON ME

~BetterThanYou~ says:

Just face it Bells you love him!

And them two are gay!

With each other

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

NO I HATE HIM DAMN HOW BOUT SETH

~BetterThanYou~ says:

he waste's his time being Jake's puppy

get it puppy?

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

YEAH ROSE LMAO

~BetterThanYou~ says:

anyway Alice has already seen you agree

no point fighting

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

nope i will never agree *RUNS AND HIDES*

~BetterThanYou~ says:

so now have your pick of men to use:

1) Carlisle

2)Emmett

3)Jasper

4)Alister

5)Mike Newton

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

Umm..

~BetterThanYou~ says:

6)Eric Yorkie

7)Me

8) Alice

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

Rose u called yourself and ali a dude

~BetterThanYou~ says:

no just someone to help get revenge on my idiotic brother

N0W PICK!

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

hmm witch on is the fittest ??????

~BetterThanYou~ says:

Personally my choice Emmett

but Alice says Jasper

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

hmm

can we have a three some

~BetterThanYou~ says:

with who?

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

jasper and emmett

~BetterThanYou~ says:

sure

now go get ready!

Alice is bringing Edward

GOGOGO

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

can you get my out fit

~BetterThanYou~ says:

its already on the bed

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ says:

thanxs

~edward is a bastard and jacob is fit ~ has signed out

~BetterThanYou~ says:

I need to go shopping

sexy emmy bear has just logged in

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

hii babe

~BetterThanYou~ says:

hey sexii

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

why do i have to have a free some with jasper and bella ?

not that im complainin

~BetterThanYou~ says:

To get revenge on your mind-reading brother

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

koolio iit would be better with you in it to

~BetterThanYou~ says:

Babezz me and Ali are going 'shopping' while you have your fun so i can't

Ali is here! bye honey love you!

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

how are you going to keep fuckward in the same room

~BetterThanYou~ Has Logged out.

~SexyDoctor~ Has signed in

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

supp daddy oh

~SexyDoctor~ says:

hey Em

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

whats you up to

~SexyDoctor~ says:

waiting for Esme

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

eww arnt you going to ask me

~SexyDoctor~ says:

nope

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

why

~SexyDoctor~ says:

i'm too busy

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

yeah fucking mum

~SexyDoctor~ says:

no actually

waiting for your mother, we're playing doctors and nurses

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

eww

~SexyDoctor~ says:

go run along Emmett, before I take your jeep!

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

im to busy fucking bella

brb

~SexyDoctor~ says:

while on the computer

nice

well your mother is here

bye!

~SexyDoctor~ Has logged out!

~Aro~ The Almighty Gay~ Has signed in.

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

sup gaybo

suppp gaybo

~Aro~The Almighty Gay~ says:

is this Felix's idea of a joke!

I AM N0T GAY!

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

no cuz you are really gay

~Aro~The Almighty Gay~ says:

no i am not!

now silence before i send Jane!

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

says the person who fucked demitri

~Aro~The Almighty Gay~ says:

how did you find out?

never mind!

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

i can read your mind plus he recorded it and put it on youtube

~Aro~The Almighty Gay~ says:

you can't read my mind!

AND I TOLD HIM N0T TO!

~sexy emmy bear ~ says:

well he is very disobidient

~Aro~ The Almightly Gay~ Has logged off crying.

Frog has logged in

Ribbit

~sexy emmy bear~ has logged out

Frog says:

Ribbit

Ribbit

~jane = pain~ has logged in

Frog says:

Ribbit

~ jane = pain~ says:

*glares at frog and puts it in pain*

Frog says:

Ribbit

~ jane = pain~ says:

stupid fucking frog

Frog says:

Ribbit

Frog has logged out.

~SexyBeast~ Has logged in.

~ jane = pain~ says:

supp whos this

~SexyBeast~ says:

YO! Jane!

Ma little sis.

~ jane = pain~ says:

sup bruv

~SexyBeast~ says:

dis is Felix (The hot Volturi guard)

~ jane = pain~ says:

yeah you is fit

~SexyBeast~ says:

ennit man

~ jane = pain~ says:

ohpps did i say that out loud

~SexyBeast~ says:

yup

~ jane = pain~ says:

i have a crush on you

WOOH WHO SPIKED MY DRINK WITH TRUTH PILLS

~SexyBeast~ says:

aww don't be mad.

Alec did it"

!

~ jane = pain~ says:

I AM GOING TO KILL HIM

~SexyBeast~ says:

chill

come tame mah beast

~ jane = pain~ says:

that sounds like i great idea to me

~SexyBeast~ Logs out to wait.

... Has Logged in.

~jain = pain ~ has logged out to go tame beast

~ i is fit~ has logged in

~i is fit~ says:

supp people of the world

... says:

Hello young grasshopper

~ i is fit ~ says:

who the fuck is this

... says:

i am your friend

~ i is fit ~ says:

who the fuck is this and you dont no me who am i then ?

... says:

i am your master

~ i is fit ~ says:

my master is aro

... says:

i am the master of your master therefore i am your master

~ i is fit ~ says:

* numbs senses *

... says:

i Hate to dissappoint you but you can't injure something over the cyber-web

~ i is fit ~ says:

oh yes i can its called a vires

... says:

i can't get virus' i am the smart part of your subconous teaching you important lessons

~ i is fit ~ says:

kool

... says:

or am i?

~i is fit ~ has logged out

~shop a holic Pixie~ has just signed in]

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ has logged in

heyhey ma peeps

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

supp dude whos this

????

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

this is the gangstaa who goes by de name Embry man

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

Sup puppy hows use

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

nana man i ent no puppy

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

yeah you are man

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

and seriously dudette gangstaa talk don't suit ya ennit, you more of a violent pixie ennit blad?

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

Na blad im going to go turn emo now blad i hate you *slits wrists and crys* i thought you liked me

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

i mean its like a dog meowing get wat am sayin' Ali?

i do like ya trust me i do but it just dant suit yaz

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

okay imm going back to bubbly hyper pixie so hows the pack

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

yhyh man dey sickige they all like yh..

we all just chillaxin' down on deh beach ennit

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

jasper died maria killed him stupid bitch

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

aww nana man Jaspers a fighter

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

nope he got trained by this maria dude and she had a new born army she was going to kill me but jasper risked his life

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

and we will kill dat bitch Maria for even touchin' our best homies deh bl dsuckers

can't ya just bite him ennit?

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

im lonely

no cuz jasper is all ready a vamp and he is in ashes

nothing to bitre

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

wat bout some superglue?

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

no cuz he is dead and you are making me feel like shit its all my folt *crys*

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

nana dude it ent ya fault its his the stupid prick ennit man?

~shop a holic Pixie~ says:

no cuz he saved my life maria was going to kill me but he risked his life to save me now im lonely and emo

brb need to change name

... says:

pationts young grasshoppert

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

WTF?

~ emo alice~ says:

sup

back

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

io

~ emo alice~ says:

ennit man jokes

... says:

i am your friend

~ emo alice~ says:

piss of

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

wat is up wiv dat dude?

~ emo alice~ says:

i dont no but i dont care

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

did ya see him come in?

~ emo alice~ says:

nope stupid dude

... says:

those with a kind heart earn more

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

WHAT DA FUCK MAN?

~ emo alice~ says:

piss off you twat im an emo and my husbands just died and fuckward and tanya are fucking each over

... says:

pationtions young grasshopper and everything will be fine

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

ok not to be a wimp or nuffin but dis guy is freakin' me out

Embry out blas

~ emo alice~ says:

no it wont and fuckward is cheating on bella and im alone with a crying bella thats gone emo to so fuck off

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ says:

blad**

~ emo alice~ says:

laterz embry

~GangstaaBoyFromDownDeBlockage~ Has logged out

~Happy Alice~ Has logged in]

~Happy Alice~ Says:

Hello

~ emo alice~ says:

fuck off emmett

thats not funny

~Happy Alice~ says:

this isn't Emmett this is the happy you!

~ emo alice~ says:

no thats you emmett dont pull this shit

~Happy Alice~ says:

Which reminds me! WE NEED TO GO SHOPPING N0W!

N0W I TELL YOU! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE EMOALICE?

We need to get them new shoes we like!

~ emo alice~ says:

nope fuck off emmett

wait if emmett is right next to me then this must be the real hapy me ahh

~Happy Alice~ says:

YESS

so can we please please please

dont make me get angry Alice!

~ emo alice~ says:

ok ill go shopping but im only buying emo clothes and shoes and make up and im dying my hair with pink hylights oh and i grown it out

~Happy Alice~ says:

yaay this will be SOO much fun

hey we should invite Rose

Oh and Happy Bella

~emo alice~ as logged out

~Happy Alice~ says:

and and and JASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST!

Seth the PuPpy ~has just logged in

~Happy Alice~ says:

SETH! Hi

~Seth the PuPpY~ says:

hey

did edward really cheat on bella again ?

~Happy Alice~ says:

i don't know i was busy escaping from the horrible world of Alice's emo side

it was horrible

~Seth the PuPpY~ says:

bless arnt you surposed to be shopping

????

~Happy Alice~ says:

yess bye

~Happy Alice~ has logged out.

~NAKED MIKEY~ has logged in.

~NAKED MIKEY~ Says:

HEY HEY

NAKED MIKEY AND HIS BIGGY WILLY IS HERE

~Seth the PuPpY~ says:

ahhh

im blind and noo i do not want to fuck you im not gay

~NAKED MIKEY~ says:

i never said that

HEY WANNA MEASURE OUR WILLY SIZES?

~Seth the PuPpY~ says:

nope uhh bye freak

~seth the PuPpy~ has logged out

~NAKED MIKEY~ says:

am i really that bad?

... says:

yes you are...

~NAKED MIKEY~ says:

AAHHHH SCARY VOICE

~NAKED MIKEY~ Logged out screaming