*Thing to know about this one shot is that no one knows that Peyton knew Julian in her past. They just went on lying to everyone, and Lucas never did find that photo in the hotel room.
Lucas stood on the damp grass, staring at the tombstone. Why did he always feel like he was here, putting someone he cared about to rest? People who never deserved such a fate. He kept reading the words written on the tombstone: Peyton Sawyer Scott, loving mother, wife & friend. He couldn't believe she was gone. His Peyton was gone, and this time there was nothing that was going to bring her back. This time unlike all the rest, he was unable to save her from such a fate.
Everyone had long gone, but he couldn't bare to leave her like this; alone like she had always feared. This wasn't how their story was suppose to end. They were suppose to get their chance, their happy ever after.
He wanted so bad to blame her for leaving him, for choosing Sawyer over her own. He believed that they could always have another one, but she would hear of it, and once he felt his child kick he couldn't blame her. And looking down at Sawyer, at her innocent face, he couldn't believe how selfish he had been.
Your wedding day is suppose to be such a wonderful day, the happiest day of their life, but like all Tree Hill weddings, it was cursed. Remembering how so many had gone wrong. His mothers never got to the day before Keith was shot in cold blood, Haley and Nathan's ended with a car going over the bridge and people, including Nathan almost dying. And well His and Lindsay's ended with her running saying no (which he can't be mad about cause he knew in his heart it wasn't meant to be), and Jamie getting kidnapped during the ceremony. He couldn't think of one wedding that had gone right.
When they had come home from the reception, he had gone into the garage to get her Comet ready to show, but when he came to grab her, she was lying in a pool of her own blood. She was breathing, but it was very shallow, and what unresponsive. He had never been so scarred in his whole life. He knew he couldn't wait for the ambulances, he knew he had to get her to the hospital as soon as he could. Hours later she was pronounced dead, and all he left of her was this little girl.
Someone came up behind him, placing hands on his shoulders, "Luke, it's getting cold out here. You really should get Sawyer home. You don't want her to catch a chill," Haley said. She glanced at her best friend, he was so lost, and she was unsure how to bring him back. She wondered if this was what she would've felt like, losing Nathan in the bridge accident.
Lucas glanced up slightly, "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't realize how late it was getting." In all truths he had lost sense of time, of the world. She was gone and he never felt like he would be whole again. Like the moment she died, a part of him had died too. He wondered if he would be strong enough to raise Sawyer without her.
"Why don't we get this beautiful girl of yours home, and fed. And then I'll make you something."
"Okay,"he said, starting to walk towards the SUV.
Haley watched her friend as they walk to the car. Her heart broke for him, for the time they never got together, the life that never really got to begin. It broke for Sawyer, for the mom she would never get to meet, the things she would miss out on. That's why she knew she had to be strong at this time, and take care of them. She'd have time later to mourn, to cry for her lost friend.
Nathan stood at the Rivercourt, just staring at it. He had come here in hopes of time to think, to mourn. But for some reason he couldn't bringing himself to play. Just when everything was getting better for everyone, another tragedy happens. One that effected then more then any of the others. They had lost a best friend, a girl who held them all together.
He kept thinking back to the first night that he had played on this court, when he was trying to go after Lucas, show him up. It was the same night he realized that he had lost her forever to his brother. Not that he regretted that night, it was a wake up call to him, and it led him to Haley, but he couldn't help but wonder if she would still be here if it had turned out differently, if Lucas never came on the team, would she still be alive today.
Tears ran down his face, he could no longer control it. He had lost his best friend, and it wasn't fair. Of all people, Peyton didn't deserve this. From a young age she had lost so many things, so many people in her life. She deserved her chance at happiness. A chance to meet the beautiful little girl she had risked everything for. And she called him a Martyr, in his eyes she had been.
**************
Brooke sat alone in Peyton's office. She felt the need to feel close to her, to be near her. Her stuff was all here, her music, her drawings, everything that made Peyton who she was. She sat at her desk, in the chair where she use to sit all day. A place she had been making her dreams come true.
Brooke began looking through her drawings. Tears filled her eyes, as she looked at their lives through Peyton's eyes, how she saw everything, everyone.
" you weren't suppose to leave me here alone, you promised me that everything would be alright. You lied to me!" Pushing everything on the desk to the ground in a rage.
After she had cried it out, she went to pick up everything, she came across a photo. As she looked at it closely, it was Peyton & Julian in each others arms. First thought was that they had been cheating, but Peyton's hair was different, lighter, like it had been in L.A. But if thats true then why had she lying to everyone. Why hadn't she told everyone that she knew him?
Brooke noticed the indents in the photo, she turned over to find something was written on it.
My Dearest Julian,
The day you came back into my life, into Tree Hill, my heart fluttered; I felt truly alive again. You know like you do when you're on set filming of a movie you're really passionate about.
I know I'm with Lucas, just like I bet you predicted would happen when you came to Tree Hill. But it's not the same as it was when we were in high school, it's not like I thought I would feel to be back with him. Maybe it's because I'm not the same girl he left in the hotel that night in L.A. I guess that's why I wanted to hang on to those books, make me remember what I was like, be that girl again. But the truth be told, I can't go back to being that girl, because in the time we were together you taught me we can be so much more then the people everyone always saw you as, not a sad cheerleader. You saved me that day in the photocopier room, with that wit of yours. You opened my heart again. And it was the first time I fully let my guard down, and let myself to be happy.
When I came back to Tree Hill, I allowed people to believe it was for Lucas, and maybe along the way I allowed myself to believe that too. Getting back into a relationship that was familiar, with someone that I knew loved me, just like I had done with Jake. But the truth is I was running away from mess I made of our relationship, in hopes of mending my broken heart. Cause it hasn't been the same since you left me.
Why am I doing this now? Why am I waiting until now to tell you all of this? Ever since you walked back into town, you've opened my eyes to this lie I've been living;I know now, that I can't keep living it. And I can't keep hurting the ones around me, they deserve better then this, Lucas deserves better then this. You deserve better then this
So if you still love me, like I believe you do. Meet me at the docks at 7pm.
Love Peyton
PS I love you, I never stopped.
This couldn't be happening, she thought. This had to be a mistake of some sort. Peyton was in love with Lucas, she just married him; practically begged him for it to happen sooner then they had originally planned. This had to be some bad dream. She would wake up, and this photo wouldn't exist. She pinched herself, but she was still here in Peyton's office with the photo in hand, with so many questions, like why she went through with the wedding when her heart was with another?
All this time Julian had been lying to her to why he came to Tree Hill. It hadn't been to get the rights to the movie, it was to win Peyton back. She felt so used. She wanted to scream out, but couldn't find the energy to do it. It was all too overwhelming.
She grabbed her bag, and rushed out of the office.
************
Haley sat with Sawyer in her arms rocking her. Lucas was laying down in their guest room. He had been staying with them since that day; he hadn't been able to walk into their house since it had happen, as it brought him back to the moment he found her.
"We're all going to make sure that you know what a great sacrifice your mother made for you. You will know the love she had for you," she cried. It was a mother's love for her unborn child. And she couldn't blame her, she would've done the same thing if put in the same situation. A mother would do anything to protect her child, even if it meant she would died for it.
"Mommy," Jamie said softly, slowly strolling into the room.
"Is Aunt Peyton with Q now?"
Haley looked up at her son with so much anguish, "Yes baby. And she's looking over us right now."
"Is Uncle Lucas & Sawyer going to live with us?"
"Probably for a little while. Uncle Lucas is really sad right now. So we're going to help him out with your new little cousin."
Sitting down with his mom, leaning up against her, "I'm going to miss Aunt Peyton."
"Me too, me too."
************
Brooke saw Nathan sitting on the benches, maybe he could help her figure out what to do about this. Maybe he could make sense of this all. It was like opening up a secret door, into a life of her best friend she never knew about. She didn't understand how she never knew about a guy in L.A. They were best friends, they weren't supppose to keep secrets like this. She was begining to wonder what else she didn't know about her.
"Nate," she called out.
"Brooke, what's wrong?" noticing the look on her face. "Did something happen?" knowing no one could handle anymore tradegy.
"Yeah, and I don't know what to do about it," she said in a panic, as she paced back and forth.
"Brooke what is it?"
"I was at Peyton's office. It was the only place I felt close to her, the only place I've been able to sleep since she died. And I was looking at some of her drawings when this came out of them," handing him the photo.
Nathan took it, his eyes bulged at the sight. He was ready to go find Julian right now, and punch him for messing with his family.
"There's more, read the back."
Nathan quickly read through the note. "I can't believe this." He was beginning to feel like he didn't know Peyton at all. Why had she felt the need to hide things like this? Did she think they wouldn't understand. They loved her no matter what, she was their best friend, and they would've supported her.
"Should we tell Lucas?" feeling if anyone had been made a fool of, it was him. "Do you think the baby was Julian's?" Had they had a fling since he has been back. Who knows, cause no one even knew about their previous relationship.
"I don't know. But until we get the facts straight we can't tell Lucas. His heart is breaking right now. We tell him this, I don't know if he'd live through it," afraid that it would have a tole on his heart. He was positive that he'd go into cardiac arrest. And he wasn't willing to go to another funeral this year. One had been too many, let alone two.
"You're right. Guess we should ask the only one left that knows the whole story."
*************
They found Julian sitting at the docks, just like Brooke had predicted. "Julian we need to talk."
He jumped up quickly, "How did you know I was here?" He had never shared with her that he came here sometimes. As then he would have to explain the reasoning why, and he just couldn't do that.
"Well it was the place Peyton was suppose to meet you the day she planned to run away with you," Nate stated. He knew from the moment this guy came to town he was trouble, just never could prove it.
Julian's eyes widened, "How did they know about that?" He hadn't told anyone about that, and he was sure Peyton hadn't mentioned it to anyone.
"It was on the back of this," handing the photo to him. "Care to explain."
He knew that there was no way to lie his way out of this. He was just sorry he had to break his promise to her. "Why don't we sit down?." He took a deep breathe, "I met Peyton the first time at her work, after Lucas ran out on her, but didn't see her again until a year later. She was crying coming out of Lucas's book signing. I told her she must be the saddest girl in the world if both times I meet up with her she's crying; it made her laugh. So I invited her to function I was heading to. From that day on, we were inseparable, didn't take long till I moved in with her. I had opened that heart she had kept well hidden, and she shone a bright light into my life. But that book always was sore spot in our relationship, as I never could understand why she had so many copies, and why one always had to come with us everywhere. So I let her go from my life, just never from my heart."
"Is that the real reason you came to Tree Hill?" She needed to know the whole truth. She wouldn't be made a fool of any longer.
"I'd be lying if I said no, but I did feel that this story needed to be told. Just as I expected she was with Lucas when I arrived."
"Why did you lie about knowing her?"
"Because I wanted to make the movie, and I knew he wouldn't do it knowing that we dated. And I didn't want to make things awkward for Peyton and him. She deserved to be happy, and if he made her happy then I couldn't ruin that."
"So then explain this letter then?"
"It came as a surprise at first, as her and I hadn't really talked much since I had arrived. She had kept her distance, not wanting others to know. But when I received this I was overjoyed. It meant that I wasn't an idiot for loving her all these years that I was without her. I had gone and waited at the docks all night. But she never did show."
"I need to know why she didn't show."
"I confronted her the next day at her office."
Julian stormed into her office, "So you wanted to make a fool out of me. Making me believe that you still loved me, and wanted to be with me, and then just stand me up."
"That wasn't my intention, let me explain," she begged.
"Then what was?Cause I waited all night for you to show at the docks and you never came."
"I fell over in pain last night at work, so I went to the hospital."
Julian rushed over to her, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "I'm pregnant."
Julian's heart dropped. Before she said anything he knew what was coming.
"I never had a family growing up. I want this child to have the family that I never had. I don't want my child to have the childhood I had, I want more for them. I'm sorry Julian I can't go with you."
"But I thought you loved me?" he said.
"I do love you."
"Then why stay with Lucas? Why stay with someone, when you love another?"
"Because this child deserves me to try with it's father."
"Even if it means a loveless marriage?"
"I may not be in love with Lucas anymore, but I once was. I've got to believe in time I will learn to love him again. I'm sorry Julian this wasn't how I wanted it for us. I want to get our chance, but it's not just my life I'm thinking about anymore. And I'm sorry that it hurts you, it hurts me too, but this is whats right."
Tears ran down both of their faces. Julian brought her into his embrace.
"I'll always love you," Peyton said, leaning her forhead against his.
"I'll always love you too," he said, before leaning in for one last kiss. "Good-bye Peyton."
"I'm sorry Brooke, I never meant to hurt you." He had cared for her, he just couldn't say at this time it was the way he had cared for Peyton. Cause letting her go was the hardest thing he's ever had to do, and moving on was even harder.
Tears ran down her face, "They never do, but it all hurts the same." She felt like she was never the one they wanted to stay with, that there was always someone luring in the background, someone they always dreamed of. When was she going to be the one someone dreams of, hopes for.
Nathan grabbed a hold of Brooke, putting his arm around her, guiding her back to the car. They sat there is silence for what it felt like hours wondering what to do with this news.
"So what are we going to do?" Nathan asked, unsure whether to tell his brother of this. She was gone now, what good would this news do, especially since they know that Sawyer is Lucas's now.
Gazing out, into nowhere in particular, "On her wedding day, she made me promise to take care of them if something happened to her. So that's what I'm going to do. We can't tell Lucas this, more harm will come of it, then good. He will always be left to wonder if she really loved him, if everything was all a lie, and I don't want that for him."
"You really are something Brooke. Sawyer was right, you do really have a big heart. I'm just sorry you got hurt in the crossfire."
*************
"Couldn't sleep," Brooke asked Lucas as she came into the kitchen of the Scott house for a glass of water.
"No, not without hearing her mumble in her sleep, or hearing the sound of breathing next to me. I'm lost without her Brooke," he broke down, just like that day in his hotel room; just this time she wasn't across the country to come back to him.
She would be their rock, she told herself, "I know Luke, but you must do this. You have a little girl that needs you."
They were interrupted by a little cry. Lucas got up from the stool. Brooke smiled, "Why don't I help you."
"I'd like that."
Brooke followed him up to the room where they were staying. She picked up the little one from her crib, and sat down on the couch in the room. Lucas sat down beside her and handed her a bottle. She cuddle up to him, "No matter what Luke, you and Sawyer are my family, and I will always be here for you."
And she would forever make sure that Peyton's Secret was left a secret no matter what. Luke and Sawyer deserved a new start. And if they knew the truth, they may never be able to move pass that. And she didn't want Peyton's memory to be tainted. She would keep her word and take care of this little family. That she one day would become apart of.