Nightmare

I can't sleep alone anymore
I need you here with me
Even though I closed all the doors
There's somethin' holdin' me
Never Ending Nightmare
Always there instead of you
Never Ending Nightmare
No escape this time from you

-Nightmare, by MSG

When Mello left, Matt was well past devastated. He wasted nights lying on his bed, staring at the empty bed across the room. It was disheveled, like how Mello had always left it. Matt didn't dare touch it, afraid that if he did, his last and only proof that Mello had ever been with him would be destroyed. He seldom fell asleep, and when he did, he was plagued by nightmares.

Nightmares that had once been at rest thanks to Mello. Now they returned with seemingly more force than ever, showing Matt memories of his and Mello's early years in Whammy's orphanage. They all ended the same way: mocking him in the forms of his now deceased parents. Did you really think he belonged to you? his father asked him acidly. He was never yours. He's never going to come back. His parents would be the same people, the same unkind, uncaring ones that they had been when they were still alive. And Matt clutched at his sheets, face contorted in pain, thinking desperately, Mello, please stop them. Please come back.

But the blond never did.

As the year moved along painfully slowly, Matt was forced to believe that the real world was cruel. It hit him like a force, and he was disbelieving at first, because his mind was still used to the games he played. Fantasy. The character in distress was always saved by a hero.

It only caused more pain when Matt realized that Mello was not coming back. He was not going to be the hero, he was not going to save Matt.

So, one day, Matt packed his bags. He was slowly recovering from Mello, having decided that getting away from Whammy's would help. The night before he left, he ruined all of Near's toys, knowing that Mello had always wanted to do that. He also sneaked into the lunchroom and placed a chocolate bar and his DS on the table, which was in the middle of the lunchroom.

In memory of you. Of us, the redhead thought. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and left the place that held dear memories of his blond angel.

And here he sat atop his apartment building's roof, looking distastefully down at the city below him. Smoke curled up into the air, coming from the lighted cigarette in his fingers. The night sky loomed up above him, the color being disoriented by the orange tint of his goggles.

He was tired and restless at the same time. His job as a hacker was tiring and the nightmares were slowly ceasing, but for some reason, his eyes refused to shut.

His DS sat beside him, out of battery. He still loved video games as much as he did when he was little. In fact, he hadn't changed much, save the goggles he started wearing all the time. They made him feel secure. And there was Mello...

Matt shook his head, auburn bangs becoming even more tussled. He had, little by little, forgotten his best friend and built a wall, shielding himself from the contact from anyone else. He learned the hard way that most of the time it wasn't good to become too attached to someone. In the end, they'd be ripped away from you, after all.

The sound of his cellphone ringing sliced through the air. Matt blinked once, slipping the device out of his pocket. One look at the caller ID told him that it wasn't his boss. Frowning, the hacker flipped it open, pressing the cold cellphone to his ears.

"Matt," a raspy voice said, sounding relieved. "Help me. Please."

Matt recognized the voice, but he couldn't quite put his finger on who it was. "Who is this?"

"Matt," the voice was strained. There was a cough before the stranger said, "It's Mello."

Mello! Matt didn't hesitate and leaped up. "I'm coming, tell me where you are," he said.

The wall he had carefully built over years slowly crumbled down as he raced to his car, determined not to lose his Mello again.

Whoa. Did I just write that?

It's my first try at something angsty. How'd I do?

.Atreyl

PostScript: I'm considering adding another chapter, this one in Mello's point of view.