You stay.
(Du bleibst!)
Translated from German, thanks to AllegroAssai!
_
In his usual reserved manner, Lucius took his cane and sat down in front of the fireplace. They were alone in the small lounge, the fire burned brightly, warm and crackling. The rest of the room was dark. Lucius did not have candles lit.
"I have no idea what you want!" snapped Severus, more aggressively than intended. But he was tired and exhausted.
"Just don't attract attention and then you will not make mistakes… It would be best if you did NOTHING at all!"
Lucius snickered dryly. Maliciously.
"Of course, Severus. Of course. YOU are now the Dark Lord's right hand man, YOU do not have to worry… YOU are the one who purrs in his ears…"
"If I wasn't good at purring, I wouldn't be alive!" Snape hissed. "And now be still!"
Reluctantly, Lucius allowed his old friend to bend over him and cast a healing charm on his face.
"Your eye will still be swollen, I cannot fix that," Snape explained coolly and touched the swelling. Lucius flinched in pain. Severus lowered his hand, stood back up and looked down onto the man.
"Where else?"
Lucius didn't look up, but instead stared at Severus' white sleeves, at his hands, at the ONE hand with the wand.
"My… legs. I think I sprained my knee."
Without hesitation, Severus kneeled down and cast more charms.
"Better?"
"Yes. Thank you."
Severus only wanted to look up quickly, but his eyes were suddenly glued to the face of his friend. It was lit up by the fire. He saw deep wrinkles that hadn't been there BEFORE. He looked grey and much, much older. And he didn't laugh anymore as he had done BEFORE. Severus studied the face he'd known for thirty years, almost his entire life while Lucius stared dreamily into the flames. Then he seemed to notice that Severus was quiet, not murmuring anything and looked down at him.
Grey eyes met black.
"What is it? Why are you staring?" asked Lucius, it was supposed to sound amused, but instead sounded… sad.
"Nothing… It's nothing," Severus replied hastily and wanted to stand back up, but Lucius held him tight by the arm.
"What do you see in my face, Severus?" Lucius whispered, the flames through dancing shadows upon his cheek. Severus' face was in the dark.
"I am just looking at you, Lucius. Nothing more. I only see you," he added quietly. And then realised that he could continue staring, forever. His eyes adhered to Lucius' face. He could raise his hands and touch it and try to flatten out the wrinkles, try to relax it again…
Shocked at himself, he forced the thoughts away.
"Yes." Lucius loosened his grip on Severus' arm and leaned forward in order to say something.
"Just me. You see ME."
Lucius was very close. Nobody came that close up to him, nobody dared. Only Lucius. ALWAYS had been.
"Severus, you look so very tired," he whispered.
Oh yes, he was tired. Indeed.
His friend radiated warmth; it was different warmth than that from fire behind him. Severus had to force himself not to learn forward, not to his shoulder with his forehead hoping one hand would be put on his back…
Instead, he abruptly stood up and straightened his robe.
Lucius looked up again.
"You came here so fast."
"Yes."
"You were worried."
"Of course I was, Lucius. You tend to miscalculate situations."
Severus coolly studied the aged face in the comfy chair.
"And that doesn't suit you. As you can see."
"Hmmm." Lucius took a glass of wine from the table and took a sip. Severus turned to the fireplace and warmed his hands on the fire. He was cold. Despite all the clothing he had on, he was frozen to the bone.
"You were worried?" Lucius repeated as if the question hadn't already been answered. Typical. If Lucius didn't like and answer, he repeated the question so many times until he was satisfied with its answer.
Severus' lipped quirked upwards, but he didn't turn around.
"YES, Lucius. YES, I was WORRIED."
"I was worried about you, too."
"Seriously? Why, pray tell?"
He was still freezing… right in front of the fire… strange…
"It was difficult for you to get rid of Dumbledore. – Where are you going to sleep now?"
Severus was quiet.
He heard Lucius breathe in his chair behind him. Then he said: "Well, in my old rooms. I am not crude…"
"I understand."
Silence spread, but it wasn't awkward. Every now and then he could hear Lucius drink and swallow, Severus didn't drink tonight. He had to keep it together, his life depended on it. He almost leaned into Lucius… how weak and embarrassing and utterly inappropriate. He wantedto lean into him.
"I have to. I have things to do, students to protect," Severus said at some point.
"Of course, my friend."
"You can stay seated. I can find the way."
"That is out of the question. I will see you out."
Determinedly, Lucius grabbed his cane, his empty, numb cane.
"Take care, I do not believe that the other teachers will be delighted by your presence in the headmaster's office."
Lucius helped Severus into his coat.
"Of course they won't," Severus answered dully and sniffed. "But they have to get used to it."
Lucius didn't say anything, but instead he straightened the folds on the coat of his friend on the skinny shoulders and then suddenly touched his neck, but not the skin. Severus felt it and froze. Slowly, Lucius pulled the long black hair out of the collar of the coat.
"So," Lucius said took his hand down. And then he said:
"Why won't you stay."
Severus was still too confused about his feelings when his hair was gently pulled and now he didn't know how to react at all.
"Stay. Here, with me, Severus."
His cheeks heated up, his heart suddenly thumped under his tongue, his thoughts were racing each other, Lucius stood there, gripping his cane.
How… what… did he mean…?
Finally, Severs decided to use the Lucius-Malfoy-Method and to act as if he hadn't heard him at all. With a mask-like face, he opened the front door.
"Stay. There is no one here, they are all gone, Draco and Narcissa are asleep in the other part of the manor. It is only us. You do not have to return yet. We could have some wine and talk… or just sit… whatever you prefer… you can sleep here, there are plenty of rooms."
"That's impossible, Lucius," Severus answered hastily and looked outside where he somehow had to get to. Somehow.
Right now.
"I have to go back. I must protect my students."
"It's the Easter Holidays. Most students went home. And McGonagall is there, she will protect them."
Lucius still firmly gripped his cane. When Severus spoke, the only thing that moved in his face where his lips.
"No, Lucius. I need to go back. I'm leaving now."
"Stay," Lucius whispered and took a small, quiet step forward.
"You… just stay.
You wanted to lean on me."
Severus stared him, shocked.
"You wanted to lean on me, I know you, I noticed. Do not think I… did not approach you without reason. I… You mean a lot…"
"I'm leaving. I'm leaving now!" Severus interrupted, out of control and confused, he turned away, opened the door again and stepped onto the stairs. At the bottom stair, Lucius had caught up with him, he just knew his stairs better, knew them like the back of his hand. Severus was grabbed roughly by the shoulders, was turned around and forced into an embrace that paralysed him entirely.
He couldn't hope with hugs.
With dark curses, yes.
Not warm hugs.
"You stay," whispered Lucius, held him tightly and Severus stopped breathing.
"You stay," the lips whispered right in front of his mouth, he felt them move, felt the breath caressing his skin, he saw every detail in Lucius' face, every fine line, every deep wrinkle… and then Severus felt his friend's soft, warm lips.
His heart raced, his face glowed, his legs trembled, his body trembled, he… hadn't kissed anyone for ages, not since… not for many years. An unbelievable amount of years. He had to resist this… immediately.
"You stay!" Lucius' lips whispered again and were on his mouth. Again. Resist. Immediately.
"You do want me, I know you do, I can feel it… I can feel how desperately you do. Just as much as I want YOU… you stay." The lips where whispering roughly and slightly hoarsely. The lips were on his again, adamant, remorseless… resist…
"You stay. I will shower you with tenderness and affection this night. The WHOLE night… just you stay here with me. Stay."
The soft lips whispered into Severus' closed mouth and they stayed there and they kissed him. And then… He wanted to feel those lips and him and the warmth, the WARMTH, wanted to feel the hot breath on his cold face and wanted to be embraced by tenderness and nothing more.
"You stay."
"Yes."
_
Severus was too confused to feel uneasy when Lucius took his arm and guided him into one of the rooms of the manor as if he was a challenged child. In the candlelight of a few leftover candles, Lucius took off Severus' coat, his robe, his white shirt and covered every inch of his bare skin with kisses until he finally kneeled down and opened his trousers. Severus didn't dare to glance downwards, but instead closed his eyes, tilted his head backwards, his arms uselessly hanging downwards and almost immediately came when Lucius touched him with that mouth of his.
Then Lucius stood right back up, he was tall, and he hugged him and caressed him and whispered things like: "It is okay. Everything is okay." And then Lucius kissed him again and again and his heavy velvet jacket slid down his shoulders, his silky shirt, too… and then Severus had to sit down on the bed, because he was shaking and trembling and couldn't stand any longer. He looked at the naked belly of his friend who was still standing in front of the bed, wrestling with his belt and Severus' previously rather useless arms raised and he laid his hands onto the warm skin in front of him. And bent down. His arms embraced the naked, firm body, pulled it closer and pulled it into the bed.
"Why are you doing this to me… for me, Lucius?"
"Because I enjoy it. I enjoy you," the breath on his skin answered.
"And once those… political insecurities are over, we need to talk. About this. About us.
"Excuse me?"
"Yes, about us. And where this is going to go."
"Where?"
"Yes. Where." His elbow was being kissed.
"That's rubbish, unbelievably sentimental rubbish…"
"Of course it is. Otherwise I would not care about you, despite your skinny body, your overly large nose, your greasy hair."
He was being kissed underneath his right ear.
"I… don't understand…"
"You are an idiot, Severus. Seriously. I have feelings for you; have had them for a very long time. I have loved you for ages… Your large nose, your grumpy face, your starved features… and I also love your hair."
"My nose."
"Yes."
"My hair."
"Yes, that, too."
"You have some sort of incest issue, Malfoy. Something is wrong with your perception, it is… somewhat damaged."
And now he heard Lucius laugh, just like he had been before. Not maliciously, or arrogantly, just how he used to laugh.
He felt the warm, naked body next to him, his friend, who was now stroking him, hugging him, pressing his aroused body against him, warming him, kissing him and Severus felt awkward, because he was going hard again – like some gawky teenager – but he warmed, kissed and stroked back.
At first reluctantly, probingly, carefully, but when he noticed the reaction, when he saw just how much Lucius liked it, when he heard a throaty groan, when he looked into those half-closed eyes and felt the sweat on the goosebumps, Severus got ecstatic. His lips and tongue and eyes went into discovery mode. He didn't shy away from Lucius' body, even licked his erect penis, and tried everything just to cause another shiver, another groan, another hissing breath, and most of all, to hear his own name. "Sev… erus… Severus."
And there was no more awkwardness; he didn't feel ashamed about what he was doing to Lucius, or what was being done to him. Not even when Lucius lay on top of him and slithered his way into him, not even when he stammered stupid things about passion into his ear, words no one had ever said to him.
He was so unbelievably happy that he had stayed after all.
_
In the wee hours of the morning, they stood at that front door again, close to each other. Severus already had his coat on.
"Hold on," Lucius said and pulled Severus' hair out of his collar.
"Hmmm," Severus replied and the corners of his mouth quirked upwards, just a little.
"So," Lucius said, satisfied and moved the hair out of Severus' face.
"Take care, Severus. Don't take McGonagall lightly, she is ghastly."
"I know. Nothing will happen to me. YOU need to be careful. Hold back."
The black eyes studied the grey ones in earnest, one was still swollen.
"Don't say anything. Don't look at him. Tell Draco to do the same."
"Yes." Lucius nodded, his hands still in Severus' hair, he didn't seem to listen properly.
"LUCIUS."
"Yes, I hear you. I will not say anything, I will be indiscernible." Shrugging, he lowered his hand.
"Or I will ask Draco to disillusion me."
It was supposed to be funny, but Severus realised, that his friend was without any means of Protection. Not only Voldemort was dangerous – the other Death Eaters were, too. Greyback's preference for young people… Draco in the house… and Lucius…
Now Severus did something very, very strange, something he hadn't given much thought at all.
He got his wand from his pocket and gave it to Lucius. Who stared at him, scared that Severus had lost his marbles.
"Take it, Lucius."
"What?"
"Take it. I have another one at Hogwarts. I'll take that one and tonight we can just swap. You give mine back and I'll give you the spare. But take it for now."
"Severus, I can't do that."
"Of course you can. You can. And you WILL. I don't need it for making my back to Hogwarts, I have a portkey right here, always. You will accept that wand and return it tonight. I'll be there half an hour earlier. But hide it; no-one must see it."
And he held it up to Lucius who looked as if he was about to faint.
Hesitantly, Lucius took it, held it in his hand as if it was poisonous. He stared at Severus, dumbfounded.
"Severus," he whispered. "Severus…"
"Hide it under your robe so no-one can see it. And don't you dare show off with it! And be inconspicuous! Go… to your study or who knows where. Survive today and we meet tonight. It is only for emergencies so that you can defend yourself and protect Draco."
Lucius hid the wand straight away; he seemed panicky and wouldn't stop staring at Severus. Then the door opened and Severus took a step outside. The day was starting, but it was still quiet. Narcissa and Draco were fast asleep.
"See you tonight."
Severus wanted to turn around, say something more, but Lucius just hugged him from behind, his arms gripping him tightly. Severus embraced the familiar warmth of his… friend. He tilted his head, closed his eyes. Then left without another word, there was absolutely no point.
He was just happy that he'd stayed after all.
At night, he got his wand back, just like the agreement was, it went well. Unfortunately, they couldn't make any time for each other, the Dark Lord was there, EVERYONE was there. They actually didn't have time for anything. The short touching of hands seemed accidental, then Severus took his seat on Voldemort's right side and Lucius sat on the large table next to Draco. Next to his wife.
That was the last time that he could observe Lucius calmly.
They'd only had one single night.
oooooOooooo
"You need to see the Dark Lord. He is asking for you!"
Severus had retreated into the Forbidden Forest, he instructed the Death Eaters and was just about to go and find Potter. Lucius' eye was still swollen, it didn't seem to go down.
"Alright," Severus said calmly and looked up. "I'm on my way."
"Have you seen Draco?" Lucius asked fearfully, his voice broken.
"I haven't. But I'll be right back. I'll have to go to Hogwarts anyway, because of Potter… then we can for Draco together."
"Yes. Agreed. Yes." Lucius was slightly trembling and his eyes followed Severus' billowing robe on its way to the Shrieking Shack.
_
Everything was light, just so light. And white… and red… more white though. And feather light. The heart only beats once per minute. Per hour…. Per day. It beats slowly through the poison and yes, everything is white. _
"Severus… SEVERUS…!"
Lucius?
Lucius…
Panicky, Lucius Malfoy knelt down beside him, wiped the blood off his face, stupid. It was way too much. He had been lying here for too long, alone, far too long.
"Severus… No… Severus…"
Lucius pressed both hands onto the wound on the neck, shocked, wide-eyed and dirty, frizzy hair in his face. The wand was next to his dying friend.
He took Severus' wand, forgot about his and cast several healing charms.
Snape's wand was rather confused, as it wondered who that was that wanted to use it – and then the wand remembered. It recognised Lucius; he had owned it just for a short while. The wand's actual master had lent it out of love.
AH!
And now the wand angrily erased the black magic that was keeping the wound open. That magic escaped the blood of his master Severus Snape. And with angry energy, the wand pumped neutralising energy into the dying body. It got even angrier when it found the remainder of its masters heart and the last of the black magic dissolved.
Lucius shivered, held the wand, tried an Enervate and another one, tears running down his cheeks, leaving white trails in his dirty face. The grubby floor was full of blood, the air smelled of urine and Severus was white and wouldn't move.
"SEVERUS!" Lucius shouted desperately, shook him brutally by the shoulders, and then Severus felt Lucius' trembling lips on his mouth. And his forehead.
It took Severus a lot of effort to open his eyes, he had no strength left, there was so much pain and he shouldn't be here anymore…
"SEVERUS SNAPE… You stay!" That was Lucius' stubborn, throaty and angry voice.
"You stay! Do you hear me? Do not dare! DON'T YOU DARE! YOU STAY WITH ME!"
Lucius was completely undone now, he was groaning and huffing.
"Yes," Severus croaked, managed to keep his eyes open and stared into the swollen, relieved and wickedly grinning face of Lucius Malfoy.
Weakly, he lifted on hand and touched the dirty, long blond hair above him and Lucius kissed his forehead again. Then very loudly and energetically, he announced that he was going to run and get some help now and that Severus should not try to stand up and run away.
And Severus blinked and looked up into those shining, grey eyes and felt another kiss on his forehead, and he was so, so happy to have stayed.
_
And that is the
END
of this story.