Its days like this, you think about the ones that love you.
I don't know how long it's been, maybe three days. There are no windows, it's a concrete room, and I'm only just beginning to see everything clearly. He hasn't been in to shoot me up with any drugs in a while, he unstrapped me from the table, and let me put on my clothes, as I sink down to my feet on the cold concrete floor. I can almost see my breath it's that cold, I wonder if I'll be here forever, be his torture device, when he'll kill me, but there's still a part of me that hopes they will come. Chris, Nick, Andy, Sam, Dov, I just keep repeating their names, please, please come for me. I don't know why but I begin to feel bad for my coldness towards them and something about that makes me think they won't care to come. Someone had to have noticed. The throbbing, burning pain in my wrists is slowly becoming more numb by the wire he has tied my hands together with behind my back, it feels like my wrists are breaking, but what hurts more is how cold they are and how scared I am. But I'm not scared, I'm a Peck. I'm a Peck. That means nothing anymore though, I wish I was anyone else right now.
I hear the door creek open and sound of his steps, click clack click clack. That's when I see his face, I have no clue who he is or why he brought me here, if this was random or I was targeted. I just pray for it to end. I look down avoiding eye contact, he steps right in front of me while I'm still slouched on the floor.
He grabs my face to make me look at him. The force of it shocks me, I never realized how strong he was before and that scares me a little bit.
"Look at me, bitch."
I look up, to be met with angry eyes. He was dirty, like the kind of dirty mechanics were like. He had brown hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in months, and the smell of him was the worse, and I only smell it now that I'm not drugged, I didn't know how to describe the smell, but it was horrible, and I tried to hold my breath.
"You do what I say. You don't obey me, or you know what will happen. Understand?" He says, as he stands back up to look down on me.
"Okay, yeah." Keep it short, Gail, keep it short. But I can't help myself, "who the hell are you though? What do you want? Can you at least tell me that?"
He punches me in the face, making me yelp and fall back against the concrete wall and hit my head. Everything is spinning. That's when he pushes me down so I'm on my side on the floor with his foot, then he kicks me and kicks me until I'm literally sobbing and begging for him to stop. All I can think is how weak I am, I should be able to take this, I'm a cop.
"Are you ready to be nice now?" He says, grabbing my face. His breath dripping all over my face he is so close to me now.
"Y-yes." I say, shaking from the pain in my stomach and I can feel the blood dripping from my nose down over my face from where he punched me.
"Good. 'Cause I am too." He chuckles. He turns around, so he's back on, "You know, you're one of the lucky ones. And when I'm finished with you, will you ever have a story to tell. Me, I'm a gift. You, you're nothing. I have on rule, that's it-" he says as he whirls around, the look on his face sends shivers down my spine. "You look me in the eye, or I will make it a whole lot worse. And whoever is waiting for you, far far away, will never, ever see you again."
I try to tune out what he's saying. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to die. I can't take it anymore. I accidentally look down, not thinking, that's when I get another blow to the stomach and when it finally starts to go numb, I hear him unbuckling his belt. I pray this isn't what I think, I can't stomach it, I really can't. He kneels down to my level, "ready to have some fun? I guess you're going to need some help getting that off he says," pointing to my clothes, "since your hands are tied and all. Maybe if you behave, I'll untie them." He offers, as if he is being incredibly nice. My stomach churns. He leans in closer, and grabs the hem of my shirt as he slowly lifts it over my head. I shiver, and try to back away, but he grabs me. Examines me. That's when he goes for my pants, I cringe, I have to hold myself back from kicking and screaming, and begging him to stop. But then I wonder if there's even a point? There's really no point to anything anymore.
That's when it happens. He's inside of me, I'm fighting back sobs as I keep my eyes locked on his, so I won't get any more "severe" punishment. I can't do it, I keep thinking, but I have to. I think about trying to kick him, but I'm just too tired, too weak, and he's too strong. I'm probably going to die either way. He grabs my shoulders as he continues; I can feel my body weakening, I can't fight it anymore, everything hurts. It seems like forever this goes on, but it finally stops. He gets off of me, stands up and pulls on his jeans. He smiles and walks back up the stairs and I hear the door close.
I roll over on the cold concrete floor, still naked, and just cry. Cry until I fall asleep. Because as far as I know, I think this is the end, I really don't think I have much time left.