Title: Academy Days
Author: Pendaren
Summary: Sometimes even the best people have scary secrets in their past.
Season: SGA Season 4
Pairing: Sam/Other
Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Non-Con mentioned
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, not even in my wildest dreams; or so the men in the white coats with the colorful pills tell me.

AN: It is the Air Force Academy after all and military life can hold a lot of stories (I've heard and personally lived some of them). Small references to Market, but no need to read. FF fans can enjoy the tiny techno-babble egg.

Didn't find a beta so complete incoherence is entirely my doing.


Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard looked around as he walked. The building on the top of the hill was beautiful and he was reminded of similar spires on academy grounds. The field on the side of the town had feathery cow size creatures grazing on the grass. The ambassador walked abreast of Colonel Carter as she officially lead the trade mission. He saw her looked back at him and he could read 'Cadet Chapel' on her lips. He nodded in agreement and smiled. His small bonding moment didn't last long as McKay argued with Parish for the umpteenth time behind him.

"Don't make me separate you two," Sheppard turned and glared. Lorne's AR team kept their heads low to hid their amusement and kept walking. They had unofficially appointed themselves the new commander's guardian. They didn't want this mission to wind up anything like her first. Sheppard had tried to get his team to do the honors but had lost the coin toss. Instead he won the unfortunate job of guarding the science geeks, which included Parrish.

"He started it. He seems to think that because we are here we have to actually listen to anything he has to say," McKay ranted.

"I don't care what the problem is or who caused it. Leave it alone Rodney; go talk to Katie. And YOU," Sheppard pointed to Parrish as he walked away. "Not a word out of you for the next five minutes."

As they reach the building he could see that the doors were wide open. The Ambassador invited them all inside before heading towards the back to stand with his people. The Atlantis expedition paused as they entered. The vaulted ceiling blinked with red, blue and purple lights and awed most of them.

"You ever been inside the Cadet Chapel in your Academy days?" Sheppard asked Carter as she paused to look things over.

"Downstairs mostly."

"Catholic?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Hey Sam, can we ask for their power source?" McKay interrupted.

"Aren't you suppose to be talking to your girlfriend?" Sheppard asked pointedly.

"Ladies and Gentleman, Please sit. Help yourself to the refreshments," The ambassador lead Carter and Sheppard to the table as the scientist including McKay were lead back outside. He saw Teyla, Ronon and two of Lorne's team shadow the scientists out the door. Lorne and Cadman were offered chairs but they declined.

"So, lets begin."


Carter smiled as she shook hands. The meeting had been productive, boring but productive. They had agreed to trade for food and medicinal plants. A few minor changed to Doctor Weirs standard contract was all it took to make a new trade partner.

"I'm glad we could come to an agreement so quickly. Never before have we had such pleasant talks," the ambassador smiled and placed his chair under the table.

"We too are glad we could come to an agreement that is satisfactory to both sides," Carter spouted out the memorized closing as he bowed and walked away. She mentally thanked Weir and her notes and hoped she would be able to thank her in person one day.

"Lets go see if the scientists found anything they want to add to the "or misc" list," Sheppard rose.

"I'm glad Doctor Weir made the contracts flexible enough to include surplus that could be substituted with new discoveries as time passed without a major revisit."

"Colonel, the Ambassador handed me this," Lorne said.

"Let me guess, an invitation to the closing festivities?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Well gentleman, time to gather the troops," Carter said.

They headed out the door and rounded the corner.

"Will you leave that alone. No one is going to want that ugly thing," McKay's voice could be heard before the group came into view.

"The people here use this 'ugly thing' as you so eloquently call this plant, to help their elderly," Parrish said in return.

"He is right Rodney, from what I can tell, it could possibly be the cure to Alzheimer's disease on earth." Katie said as she turned. "Hi guys, I think we found a few things that will be quite useful."

"Maybe we could use it to enhance memory all together? Could you imagine having to study less?" Parrish beamed.

"Remembering something isn't the same as knowing something. Just because you can spew a few facts doesn't mean you can use those facts. You know, like people who are actually intelligent." McKay retorted.

"Well, how about helping someone recover memories?" Katie tried to be helpful.

"And need therapy, no thank you. Most people forget things for a reason."

"Sounds interesting, maybe it would be a good aide in law enforcement. Enhance witness recall and provide more accurate testimony." Carter added politely while silently glaring at McKay to knock it off.

"Maybe it could help me remember two weeks of my Academy life," Sheppard joked as he walked away

"Only two weeks? My four years are one big blur," Carter replied smiling.

"No, seriously. I got beaten to within an inch of my life as a Fourthclassman and to this day I don't remember why."

"Who really wants to remember being a doolie anyways?"

"True."

Watch it." Carter pointed to a log behind him.

"Huh?" Sheppard missed seeing the obstruction and tripped.

SPLAT!


"What IS this stuff?" Sheppard tried to wipe away the dirt but it kept smearing.

"Fertilizer," McKay tried not to grin but failed. The rest of the expedition cracked smiles as well.

"You mean I landed in a pile of..."

"Afraid so."

"Come with me, there is a wash this way," one of the local women said. "Adubo is dangerous if not removed quickly." Ronon and Teyla followed Sheppard into the nearby public outhouse.

"What kind of creature makes dangerous waste?" Katie asked the farmer raking the pile back together again.

"The fellips are quite aggressive creatures and unfortunately their waste can cause aggression in others. Adubo is valuable to Pectarine growers and we make Fellip Nectar out of the milk they produce. The meat is quite delicious. I believe we are trading you several koli's of meat and a few barrels of Nectar."

"Yes there are fresh and dried meats on the trade agreement." Carter said. "Hopefully you will like the chocolate and chicken we are trading you."

"We are trading chicken?" McKay looked at Carter like she was crazy. Lorne snickered while Parrish, Brown and the rest stared.

"Every since Daedalus has been making regular supply runs, Atlantis has been trading chocolate; it was your team's experience on M7G-677 that gave the SGC the idea, McKay. Midway has opened up our trade options further and I plan on taking full advantage. Did you know that several planets in the Milky Way have started asking for chicken? If our galaxy likes them I figured we could see if Pegasus was interested. That and cupcakes are too perishable and messy." Carter said.

"You can't be serious!?"

"One of Ba'al's Jaffa got a hold of Nerus' suitcase. He had a pair of roasted chicken and several dozen cupcakes in one. The gossip of those roasts spread faster than Origin did. Amazingly enough it helped to have other options to trade other than medical supplies and knowledge on irrigation. We have gotten tomato seeds that produce more fruit per bush, Some peppers that don't require pesticide. Even a new melon that grows in the harshest conditions that in the next few years we hope to actually put on the market as a new discovery from the Amazon Jungle. You would be amazed at all the research we have going on the alien plants, herbs, and even spices we have traded. Not to mention that through our trades we have acquired a decent supply of refined weapons grade naquadah. So who knows what we will find in this galaxy."

"What next, a pizza franchise?" McKay quipped.

"I'd go for that," Lorne added.

"MCKAY," Sheppard shouted from the little shack-like structure. "Bring me my pack. I need my extra uniform."


The evening was cool and the breeze played across the open area. Tents had been set up with waiters scurrying about with all sorts of trays laden with foods and drinks. The expedition had changed into dress uniforms and formal attire. Carter looked about and saw everyone doing their best to mingle and learn from this culture exchange. Even Ronon looks less apprehensive as he enjoyed the calm surroundings and delicious offerings but then he was the only one armed. For a fleeting moment she missed Daniel and wished he was there to enjoy it too.

McKay had at first pestered her to get out of this social gathering, talking about how it would give him hives or something but she had succeeded in getting him to comply by pointing out that one of the local scientists had taken a shine to Doctor Brown. As a result McKay never left Dr. Brown's side as he tried to keep her attention.

Carter saw that Sheppard, Lorne and Cadman had parked themselves near the desert table which had assorted cutlery. "You three trying to will the knives into your hands though mind control?" She asked as she joined them.

"Ma'am?" Lorne questioned.

"Don't look so innocent, I know what you are thinking. At least fake it and eat something," Carter reached for a small plate of the sweets and picked up a knife to cut a piece of cake. She pointed to a nearby table and gestured for the three to sit. "I know you don't much like the rules here. It is a peaceful gathering and only one weapon was allowed. Ronon was the best choice, it was either he be the one or he stay behind." Carter passed the sweets to Cadman and handed the cake to Sheppard. Lorne stepped up behind her with more sweets and a piece of pie. Carter took the pie and sat down. Sheppard traded the cake with Lorne and both sat down opposite the gals.

"Observe anything interesting yet?" Carter began.

"Got to talking to a few of them. Apparently they have no military. They barely have a simple police force," Sheppard said.

"I couldn't imagine living a peaceful civilian life," Cadman replied. "Closest I could ever imagine is FBI."

"I think if I were a civilian the world would not be the same. Every Alternate Universe I've ever encountered where I was not military the Earth was not doing so hot. Course Daniel could be the actual focal point, and not my military status; in each of those worlds he was dead, not coming back, dead." Carter said.

"How about you two? You started out as career military men?" Cadman asked.

"I'm an academy grad. It is rare for someone to survive that ordeal and then give up the uniform," Sheppard said.

"When I fulfilled my ROTC contract I almost resigned. I was one of those who took the military route as a way to pay for college and log in some air time," Lorne added. "I was thinking of being a commercial airline pilot. The Stargate program changed my mind. The galaxy at my finger tips and the fate of the world in my hands was, is worth more than being a glorified globe trotter."

"Being a part of the Atlantis Expedition is interesting. I'm so use to living in a military environment that the 'normalness' of the civilians has given me culture shock. And I thought going from Marine to Air Force was jarring," Cadman said.

"Why did you anyways?" Sheppard asked interested.

"When I enlisted in the Marines I wanted to be an EOD tech. Course nobody told me if I had just gone the Air Force route I would have been able to attempt it out of basic and save myself 4 years but anyways; I started out as a computer tech. I served in the Gulf War and was promoted to E-5 within my first contract. When I tried to push my EOD application it was denied. While TAD someone told me that I was being denied EOD because I was a female Marine. The Marines only have 20 EOD billets a year to fill and with only 4 females Marines having past the course many officers wanted to fill the class seat with, and I quote, 'someone with higher odds of class completion'. CO though I would wash out like all the other females he had sent prior and he didn't want to waste the Corp's time. I was mad and wanted to prove them wrong but I didn't want to waste another 4 years waiting to see if the CO would change his mind, so instead of re-upping I gave the Air Force a shot. With my Prior service and the fact that they had 55 active females EOD techs already I had my enlistment contract include EOD tech billet; I even got a sign-up bonus. So I graduated and earned my crab, I finished a degree and went to OTS and that is how I got to be an officer in the Air Force," Cadman said.

"The Marines can be a bit of a male dominated world, sorry to hear it held you back for so long," Lorne said.

"I think you have ROTC blinders there, Major. The Academy has it's share of being a boys club as well," Carter said. "Maybe not in opportunity, but in treatment. Don't you think?" Carter turned to Sheppard.

"Huh? Sorry, what?"

"Are you okay?" Carter questioned.

"It's nothing, a slight headache. Probably too much sugar. It drops my pressure," Sheppard waved her concern off.

"Lets get you checked out anyways," Carter rose.

"I'm fine," Sheppard stood to prove his point and he lost his balance. His head hit the chair, cutting his temple near his hairline, and he lost consciousness.


"Well, that went well.," McKay's voice filtered through the fog in Sheppard's head. "I was actually enjoying a party, for once in my life, and Mr. 'Hit my head' gets it canceled."

"Rodney, that's not nice. He didn't mean for the party to end." Dr. Brown responded in a 'mother knows best' tone of voice.

"Too bad they didn't have any tech to trade so I could at least get to work, the lights were bio-luminescence creatures," McKay said, brushing off the rebuke and changed the subject. "Your department made out like bandits though. Is that the memory plant?"

"Oh, yes. It is quite remarkable actually. The people say it is most potent as a tea but even the fragrance from the night blooming flower has some effect. And it is quite a pleasant smell. Here," Dr. Brown passed the pot over the bed and McKay leaned over to sniff.

"How nice of you to bring me flowers," Sheppard interrupted. His voice was a bit scratchy and not very loud but it was enough to startle McKay and his head made contact with the pot which caused it to turn upside down and spill dirt and leaves all over Sheppard's chest. "MCKAY!"

"Ohshhhsosorrydidntmeancrap," McKay babbled and tried to brush Sheppard clean but only managed to make a bigger mess. He clutched the broken plant in one hand and looked apologetically at his girlfriend, his comment having not been directed at Sheppard.

"I'll deal with it if you both could..." Doctor Keller spoke from behind him and instead of finishing her sentence gestured with a needle for McKay and Brown to step aside and leave. "How are you feeling Colonel?"

"Fine, the headache is gone. I've never felt better," Sheppard smiled. "I'm telling you it was the sugar. I just ate too much. Pigged out."

"Let's just see what the blood work says. Your pressure is slightly low but not low enough to explain a loss of consciousness," Dr. Keller pointed out.

"So hows your patient Doc," Carter spoke from the doorway.

"He should be fine. He is probably right. He hasn't had many sweets in the past three years so the problem could be as simple as sugar on a clean system." Dr. Keller said as she walked towards the Colonel.

"Will it be a problem?"

"As in permanent? I don't think so. But even so, I can always order and stock insulin."

"If it is permanent he will have to be shipped back. Chronic illnesses aren't allowed in the SGC or Atlantis."

"I though that was just initial mission regulations because we didn't have communication with Earth. Now that we have Daedalus, Apollo and Midway it shouldn't be a problem."

"The problem is, as with any deployed mission in fact, there is no guarantee that supplies will be uninterrupted. Midway could be lost, the Stargates could malfunction, something could wipe out our space travel option. There are infinite possibilities that could cause Atlantis to be lost again." Carter pointed out. "SGC alpha site and SG teams have the same rules. Being stranded is always a possibility and MIA is a death sentence to someone who is a dependent."

"I can hear you you know," Sheppard yelled from his bed. "And I'm not going to wind up some desk jockey because of some medical condition. Hell I wouldn't give this place up for another duty station, so you just better fix me up doc."

"Needs of the Air Force comes first. You are lucky you are a natural gene carrier and one of the best jumper pilots which allows you to re-cycle your tour," Carter said.

"Can't I get the Teal'c wavier? I know the risks and I am willing to take them."

"Dependency on Tretonin isn't the same thing. One, he can carry a six month supply on his person, we have caches of extra on other planets enough for 10,000 troops for 1000 years and he can always be re-implanted with a larva Goa'uld if he can't make it to one of those caches. He wouldn't die if cut off for Earth. If he were to die due to lack of Tretonin it wouldn't be because he was dependent but deprived via capture/torture which is the case of anyone who is starved to death. Plus, and unfortunately the most important, it is exclusively a Jaffa trait Sheppard. Teal'c being a non-military alien, human rights and conventions don't cover him so he isn't required by law to have life insurance. You may be willing to take the risk, but the government isn't going to. Just being on an off world deployment makes them nervous as is." Carter explained.

"I wish I could pound some sense into a bureaucrat or two."

"Well, the initial labs of your blood when you first came in came back, it looks like your body just metabolized the sugar too fast and made you hypoglycemic which is why you passed out. Hopefully the new test will show normal levels again. You are free to go, just come back if the symptoms start again. And be careful with the..." Keller pointed to her temple instead of referring to his stitches. Sheppard hated when people reminded him about the last time he got a set and subsequently banged his head on a desk, a tech's elbow and some strange whatchamacallit in lab 13.

"I can watch were I'm going," Sheppard huffed and walked out of the med bay with Carter.

"Well, you will be glad to know the trade started while you were out. SGC has just sent the last batch of chicken through Midway and Major Lorne is prepping the jumper to leave as we speak. Oh and a new member with the natural gene has arrived. Top scores at the Academy."

"That's good to hear."

The pair kept talking and walking down the various halls and corridors. They were close to the control room when Carter glanced downward. "Are you squaring your corners?"

"What?"

"For a second it looked like you were actually pivoting."

"I'm not a doolie you know. I got rid of that habit long ago." Sheppard said as he executed a perfect column right.

"You just did it again."

"It must be that damn plant. The one Rodney dropped on me. You mentioned the Academy."

"Hmm. Guess we never truly forget out past, no matter how much we want to."

"But why am I not remembering my past?"

"Probably because you had minimal contact with it. You didn't ingest it. You only had skin contact. Or maybe it requires time to be absorbed by your brain tissue. Go see Dr. Keller."

"How about I just go to my quarters. You could always join me," Sheppard invaded Carter's personal space slightly.

"Colonel, the jumper is ready," Lorne's voice interrupted over her head set and distracted her.

"Then you have a go. Load up the last of the goods and come back. We can debrief after you unload." Carter climbed the stairs "Chuck, will you inform the mess crew to stand by. They should already have the storage space set up. See if you can get some volunteers to help out and make sure the civilians stay out of the halls so that this can get done quickly."

"My team can always help out. Ronon is great for muscle and McKay has no work to get done."

"You should be in the infirmary," Carter pointed out.

"I don't want to sit around useless in bed." Sheppard growled.

"Just have her draw blood, scan you, check your vitals and draw blood again. She shouldn't have to keep you there, I just want to have her compare the results with the vial she took right before you left as that was right after you got exposed. This way we can see if any chemicals are dissipating quickly or if your footwork was just the beginning and your memories will get stronger. You'll probably be done before the jumper comes back anyways. After all, they still have to unload the chicken and load our meats before returning." Carter said.


Sheppard walked into the infirmary and hovered over Dr Keller as she fiddled with a patient's line. "The Colonel wants you to see if the plant is affecting me."

"Which plant?"

"The one McKay dropped on me. It seems to be resurrecting old habits. Since it is suppose to affect one's memory." Sheppard ran his fingers through his hair.

"Here, take a seat." Dr Keller stuck him with the collector and inserted a vial to collect his blood. One of the mess staff rolled a cart as she finished. "Looks like lunch is served. Would you like some chicken salad."

Sheppard shrugged and reached for the offered plate. He took a few bites as she walked away and a memory flashed in his head.

Mitchell Hall was full of Cadets and Cadre. Sheppard had just started the Academy, hell not really, the school year hadn't started yet. This was the "Beast", 6 weeks of hell. BCT was something every incoming student suffered. His fellow class of 92 wannabes all chowed down, most on the chicken salad and hoped that things would get better when classes really started. They were marched out to continue their training and after a hour or two, one by one, they fell ill, hundreds of them. Even the Cadre weren't immune. The Class of 92 made Academy history, not just for being large in number but for Mitch's Chicken Salad. That Damn Chicken Salad.

Sheppard jerked out of his memory and began to gag. The plate bounced off the bed and crashed to the floor.

"Colonel!" Dr. Keller ran back to his side. She quickly handed him a pan as he threw up.

Sheppard slowly felt the nausea go away and he lifted his head. His head was swimming with memories but they were too jumbled to actually remember them. He took the offered cup of water and swished the contents around in his mouth before spitting it out. The second cup was nice ice cold water and he drank it greedily.

"Doctor Keller to Doctor Brown. Please come to the Infirmary," Keller tapped her ear piece after a few seconds. "Just relax. I need you to stay put for a second scan and blood in a half hour to see the levels but it looks like the effects are increasing." She inserted an IV to rehydrate him.

Moments later Doctor Brown walked in looking a bit puzzle with McKay in tow. "You called for me, Doctor?"

"What exactly did the villagers tell you about that plant?"

"It is a tea they drink to help them remember their past. Their elderly take it daily. I've noticed that a few bits of memory come to mind if you smell the flower as well."

"How about skin contact?"

"I've been handling it with gloves as per protocol."

"I had a few stray memories but all pleasant ones and they went away a little while after I put the plant down. And I had more contact then he did, what with me walking the plant in my hands all the way to her lab," McKay added.

"Maybe the effects are enhanced by the fertilizer he fell in." Doctor Brown said.

"Let me take a sample from you Rodney." Dr. Keller gestured for Rodney to roll up his sleeve.

"Do I have to?" McKay whined as he complied.

A crash from behind revealed Sheppard pulling out his IV. The pole had knocked down a tray of instruments. "Doc, I'm not staying here. Just call me when you need the next test. I have to get to the gate room. There is work to be done."

"I can't release you Colonel. What ever is happening could happen again."

Sheppard walked out the door without listening. He went to the gym to see if he could find a few volunteers before the jumper came back.

"Colonel Sheppard," A pair of security men tried to block his path.

"You guys getting off duty? I'm looking for a few volunteers."

"Please come with us, Sir," one of the guards said.

"We have order to escort you back to the infirmary," the other one chimed in trying to be polite.

"Screw orders. I've got work to do," Sheppard tried to walk past them. One grabbed his arm and Sheppard swung. Elbows and fists flew as they tried to reign him in.

"Colonel," Cadman's voice rang down the corridor. Sheppard glanced up and saw her point a stunner in his direction.

"What's the matter? Couldn't hack it as a Marine so you trying to make up for it by going after a real man?"

Cadman called for a stretcher over her comm and pulled the trigger.


Carter looked at her CMO and XO, the lather was restrained in his med bed. Sheppard looked around as if wanting to escape her scrutiny and Dr. Keller glanced over the test results.

"When Sheppard first fell ill, it was just the fertilizer in his system. The first set of tests we ran when he was passed out showed not only an increased metabolism but a slightly elevated testosterone level as well as heightened activity in the amygdala, hippocampus and periaqueductal gray. Serotonin levels were also altered but none of it was alarming as they were still within human norms, or in the case of his metabolism, contextually explained. The second test I took before I released him showed a gradual increase in the above as well as in the prefrontal cortex and septal nuclei. Since this test was taken immediately after plant exposure there was no sign of it in his system. The third test showed abnormal levels on all of the above and high levels of activity in hippocampus also there was a chemical in his blood similar to a calcineurin antagonist but it is nothing I've ever seen before. McKay had low levels of this chemical in his system and a minor increase in hippocampus activity so I'm assuming that the plant is responsible for it. I took more tests after Sheppard was stunned and while McKay's system has since purged the chemical and his results are back to normal; Sheppard's levels seem to be increasing, possibly due to the interaction. I'm waiting for the results from the fertilizer itself. Maybe if I can figure out what caused the initial spikes I can stop them from interacting and perpetuating each other."

"So the attitude?" Carter asked.

"The fertilizer's effect on the brain and hormones causes aggression," Doctor Keller's computer beeped and she attended to it. "Looks like the fertilizer has a plethora of MUPS and Lutropin and some new protein that activates the pituitary. His tests show they are no longer in his system so if I can counteract the activation he should be back to normal."

"Something to inhibit the creating of LH and testosterone?"

"Exactly," Keller nodded.

"I can ask the SGC to push through a request for Cyproterone."

"The SGC is going to raise some eyebrows to that. I doubt he would want it on his medical record either."

"What don't I want on my medical record?" Sheppard growled from his bed.

"Cyproterone. It is use to help treat prostate cancer as well as a few other things," Dr. Keller said politely.

"What she is trying to say is it is used in men who can't get it back down, if you get my drift," Carter started to explain.

"I wouldn't mind people thinking I had a hard on for hours, the rumors would be cool actually," Sheppard preened.

"However it is also used by men who are transsexual and want to become female. It is also one of two common drugs used in chemical castration. The other being the Depo shot. The Depo we have here but if used on a man it is generally in the chemical castration context whereas the Cyproterone has other options you may feel more comfortable with explaining to your next doctor," Carter finished her explanation.

"They are both reversible." Dr. Keller added.

"There is no way I'm letting you castrate me," Sheppard yanked at his restraints having heard the word and instantly shut down. "I'm all man sweethearts. I've always been. You aren't cutting anything off." He struggled harder and managed to kick a tray on the floor again. The silver items went flying.

"I'm all man, we are all men, and yet that girl thinks she is better than us. She thinks she can walk around as if she is smarter than we are. One of us should put her back in her place. Women shouldn't be in uniform let alone at the Academy," A uniformed cadet ranted outside Vandy. His chrome Prop and Wings on his flight cap glinted in the sun.

Sheppard look at his Element Leader. "What's your problem Cadet White?"

"Did I give you permission to speak, doolie? Who is our flight commander?" the boy challenged.

Sheppard responded automatically.

Sheppard pulled at his restraints wishing he could punch his tormentor. The 1st class cadet had plagued him and his flight. "Your days are numbered Cadet. I wish I had been the one to teach you a lesson," Carter and Keller looked at him puzzled.

"He must be having another memory."

"Look at her. She thinks she is special with her Gold Prop and Wings, as if she earned it herself instead of just being 'Daddy's Little Girl'. And she kills the bell curve. She gets her Superintendent's List Award and because she gets highest marks in the classes she making it twice as hard for us men to get even a simple Dean's List star, let alone the Sups award." Sheppard kept his head down and pretended to read his Contrail but he couldn't stop eavesdropping on his flight's cadres conversation at the end of the table. His burly Element Leader was talking with his roommate, Cadet Benda.

"Just leave her be. She is a Floppy Disk 90. They probably all sleep with them under their pillows. We graduate this year, just move on," Benda said.

They all watched as Cadet Kane and Cadet Hanson sat down next to the girl in question. McDermott library was busy, small study groups gathered to prepare for exams and she was no exception.

"Too bad she is not a doolie. She can't be more than a buck ten, I'd have her run up and down near the railings on a windy day," the roommate snickered.

"Look at Cadet Hanson. I know he doesn't like the status quo either but there he is, sitting around like it doesn't bother him that there is a girl in his Flight. But no, the jerk takes it because he needs her to tutor him. Without his family influence he never would have been accepted here in the first place."

"I hear he has the hots for her and just wants to get in her pants."

"You're probably right. It is a disgrace. Starship 19 should just be disbanded, the squadron is run by morons. I have an idea," White said as he rose. Sheppard watched the pair leave.

Sheppard fought as the guards tried to hold him down for an injection.

It was past lights out when he was dragged out of his bed. "You are going to get dressed and come downstairs in five minutes or you will regret it."

In silence Sheppard did as he was told and saw the pair of plotters waiting for him down stairs. "Just stand here and distract anyone who tries to get into the maintenance closet. I don't care if they are Cadre or even the professors. You don't let anyone in there understand?"

A half hour later the boys emerged from the closet and closed the door behind them.

"Get back to your room doolie. None of us were here, remember that," Sheppard nodded and walked away from his Element Leader. The last he heard was "Too bad she was unconscious."

"That should do it. Hopefully his system responds to the treatment." Doctor Keller said.

"Keep me informed if anything else comes up."

Cadet Hanson slammed him against the wall for the third time. "You think you can mess with a member of my Squadron and not pay for it?" The punch to the stomach bent him over. Sheppard's felt blood drip from his nose and forehead, his body was battered and bruised.

"I never touched her," Sheppard wheezed out for the umpteenth time.

"I don't care. Cadet White isn't going to walk again, let alone graduate, he is probably on his way to the hospital right now. Cadet Benda says he is going to drop out. I can't just let you walk away from this scott free, after all a message has to be sent here. I mean why not mess with a girl from your own Squadron. There are plenty of good candidates in the Blackjacks. But no, you had to poach from us and I can't tolerate that." A few more hits sent Sheppard to the floor in a heap.

"I didn't know what was going on at all, Sir, honest," Sheppard said as the cadet leaned over him. "I was just suppose to guard a door. I thought they were stealing cleaner to get high. I didn't know there was another cadet in there, let alone what they were planning to do to her. I didn't know."

Cadet Hanson saw truth in his eyes and rose to his feet. "If you ever look at Cadet Carter again, or any girl in my Squadron, I'll kill you." The parting kick hit him in the head and he blacked out.

Sheppard stopped mid-thrash and slumped unconscious in his bed.


Carter looked at the gate as the jumper came back on schedule. Several teams had volunteered to help unload and stow the new items and a few civilians had asked her if she would authorize a BBQ. She said if the mess crew were willing then she would authorize it, she warned them no backyard wannabe cooks that think charred meat was manly, as the lather usually resulted in a fire or inedible wasted meat (In some cases both). She walked over to the staircase to see if this was indeed the last trip or if they had to go back.

Lorne walked towards her when he saw her enter the jumper bay. "Everything is accounted for. Had a little help actually. You would be amazed at this kids spacial skills. I promised him a little tour in payment, hope you don't mind." Lorne gestured to a skinny boy of fifteen to come over. "Felz, this is Colonel Carter, she is in command of Atlantis. Colonel, this is the little genius I was talking about."

Felz kept his head down at the compliment and gave a soft shy greeting.

"Nice to meet you Felz," Carter smiled. "I hear you were hoping for a small tour?"

Felz's face lit up and he looked at her hopeful. "Yes ma'am, if you don't mind."

"You are more than welcome here, after all you have brains and are not afraid to use them. That is always rewarded here. I'm sure the Major won't mind giving you the grand tour."

"He wouldn't mind?" Felz asked puzzled.

"I don't mind at all Felz," Lorne said. "I would never have agreed if I wasn't willing to do it myself. It isn't like giving a tour to a kid is a punishment or anything."

"Mluvit za sebe," Zelenka muttered from behind. "Děti přivádět k šílenství."

"But if you want, I'm sure the Colonel here wouldn't mind taking my place." Lorne continued.

"Would you rather someone else give you the tour?" Carter asked sensing the boy's discomfort.

"Are there no established pairs?"

"He means couples, parents," Teyla smiled and joined the conversation. "Are you mashoga?" The boy nodded. "Colonel, Major, He is concerned because he is gay. Some worlds allow it but others don't tolerate it, and he is probably afraid that you are the lather. The ones that do allow it just ask that every once in a while they put aside their preference and help those who can't, procreate; some societies even allow tri-bonds so they can raise the children together."

"Though the military frowns upon it, we won't try to change you or get you to impregnate someone. But if you are still concerned, though there are no children, a few here are parents back home." Carter tried to explain.

"We even have a few couples here who are dedicated to each other and plan on children in the future," Lorne added.

"We can take you on the tour, you have nothing to fear from us. I personally don't plan on having children, at least not my own, I'm an adoption type myself. Our planet is overcrowded and there are plenty of children who need homes." Carter explained.

"In fact a lot of women will terminate an unwanted pregnancy." Lorne added. "And though gay people can't bond in some areas, the relationship is not illegal in most places."

"Your world sounds wonderful." Felz said.

"Well, we may not have lived under fear of culling but we have our own set of issues, like we still have idiots who are prejudice against certain people including gays; but enough about our problems, Atlantis awaits."


"The Ancients have an extensive database on calisthenics, mostly geared towards the goal of a balanced body and a healthier metabolism for ascension, but they didn't have much of an exercise facility with body strengthening and improvement, let alone a PFT, in mind so we made our own." The doors opened to the Atlantis Gym. Carter had made sure, since she took command, that the military contingent had real options other than running in the city, calisthenics or swimming in the ocean. After all, the homemade rope and weights concoctions in the first year had landed several in Carson's care before the Daedalus arrived and even then, other than a few small weights, the Atlantis crew had not had any organized gym until now. The stationary bikes and the weight machines were the most popular. Felz was fascinated by the entire concept that one could grow bigger with effort instead of being born to a big parent or trained as a smithy.

After learning a few basic stretches he was allowed to try out a few machines. One of the Marines who had been listening and watching offered her illustrated calisthenics booklet which he clutched to his chest as they walked out.

The mess hall bustled in preparation for the night's BBQ. Most of the food stuff had been stored away already and as the tour stopped by to grab a few apples a Lieutenant informed Felz, in full view of Carter, if he stayed the night he would prepare the Colonel's favorite black forest cake recipe.

The infirmary was calm as they walked in. Sheppard was only one of two patients, the second being a Technical Sergeant who got shocked fixing a power conduit. "Did you want to take a look at what you look like on the inside?" Doctor Keller asked the boy.

With a nod, she pointed to the diagnostic bed and he eagerly jumped up into it. The Atlantian equipment silently did a scan and Keller showed him the results, answering every question the curious boy had. Carter took the opportunity to check in with Sheppard who was awake.

"How are you feeling?" Carter asked.

"I'm awake so that is a plus, and the Doc says I'm no longer a 'testosterone-induced-uber-pain-in-the-ass'." Carter's eyebrow lifted in reply to Sheppard's quote. "Don't worry, she was muttering to herself when she though I was still out of it."

"Glad to hear," Carter smiled. "How's the memories? They stopping too?"

"They're not as aggressive or violent. That is a good thing. I did get to relive my game winning home run, that was cool." Sheppard kept his head down and wouldn't look her in the eye.

"You don't have to feel ashamed, the lack of aggressive feelings will go away, you are just feeling the reduction in testosterone." Carter said, misinterpreting his discomfort. "If the warden releases you, come to the BBQ. I'm sure your team don't want to suffer the social gathering alone."

"It's not that, I," Sheppard began but Carter interrupted him.

"I got to go, duty calls. Just get better okay?" Carter walked away towards Lorne and Felz and the trio exited the infirmary.

The science labs were quite for a change so there wasn't much to show Felz but they did the rounds of what they thought would interest a teenager.

"Why are there no children?" Felz abruptly asked.

"Well, we consider this a place of work and dangerous for children."

"That and the Stargate program, including the space ships and Atlantis, are a secret to our people. Children in our world aren't very good at keeping secrets." Lorne added.

"But we have had children in Atlantis before. Teyla's people actually stayed a while." Carter pointed out.

"Can I work here?" Felz asked.

"Yes," Carter said, remembering Nyan. "If you are willing to learn we would be happy to take you when you are older."

"I'm almost sixteen," Felz stood up straight.

"Our people don't consider an individual an adult until the eighteenth year."

At Felz's crestfallen face Lorne added. "But if your parents allow it, seventeen is okay."

""Major," Carter glared.

"Some men join boot camp at that age." Lorne shrugged.

"If you think you can handle it, we would be more than happy to have you with us when you turn seventeen, provided your parents allow it." Carter acquiesced

"Can I go to earth and wear a uniform?"

"Well, our military is still a bit backwards. You would not be able to tell anyone you are gay."

"There is always the British, French or Russian Forces." Lorne added.

"It isn't like you have to be military to work here. We have civilians. Teyla is a great asset and she isn't military." Carter said.

"Life is strict here. Even the civilians have to maintain a uniform, keep up good physical form, submit to inspections of work and living areas, even train as if military." Lorne said.

"My parents are farmers, I'm not much for dirt though. Your hydroponics lab is very interesting but...." Felz paused.

"Go on," Carter said.

"I like to cook." Felz admitted.

"I'm sure Lieutenant Bolo would love to have you as part of his crew. He was the fellow that asked you if you were staying overnight. He tried to bribe me with the chocolate cake to allow you to stay," Carter said.

"Speaking of which, they should have the BBQ going by now. We should go supervise them to make sure they don't set the place on fire," Lorne smiled.

The mess hall was indeed packed with people trying to help out the mess crew. A few men were arguing on the best way to light the fire. "May I?" Felz asked.

"It's the curious lad," Lieutenant Bolo smiled. "The one who saw a wonder in an apple."

"He is hoping to become one of your crew when he is older." Carter informed him.

"Excellent. Can never have too many good cooks. And a local that knows how to use the spices would be a change. I was just about to pull out my secret kerosene stash to light this Weber," the cook pointed to the dry wood.

Felz pulled out a thin metallic rod out of his pocket and waved it over the wood slowly. A small ribbon of light was emitted and flames started to appear.

"I guess we should leave you to apprentice with the Lieutenant to see if you really think it is a good idea to work for him," Lorne turned to Bolo. "Put him to work, including clean up and morning role call." He walked behind Carter and his hand grazed the small of her back as he past. She tingled momentarily from their bond and followed him to a chair to observe. They watched as Bolo steered Felz to the wash area and begin basic hygiene instruction.

"Teyla, please, come join us." Carter saw the AR-1 team member walk in and called to her.

"Colonel, I though you were out giving a tour."

"Our charge is hoping to join up. He wants to be a cook for us so we though he should have a day in the life of one before he committed to anything." Carter replied and pointed to the boy slicing the newly acquired meat into steaks.

"Will he be treated well by his people when he returns," Lorne asked.

"Yes, his planet allows for tri-bonds where he is bonded to a childless couple and can have a second relationship of his choice on the side. His apprehension was due to his fear of your reaction rather than his own current circumstances. Some planets do shun mashoga and force them out of the community altogether. Some get lucky to get shunned with a partner but they generally get culled quickly or die without adequate shelter and resources."

"Are there planets where he can be himself all the time?" Carter asked.

"I have not heard of any that do not at least try to get them to be parents," Teyla answered.

"And if they are infertile?"

"Some planets use herbs or other tests to determine fertility but some rely on trial and error, especially in regards to males. Usually a mashoga is selected but some societies will replace mashoga with widows and widowers if they don't find new mates of their own but this is usually a last resort as they usually have their own children to raise." Teyla explained.

"So they have to keep having children?" Carter asked.

"Each society varies. My people only ask that each mashoga have at least one child. I have not heard of any world that asks for more than three children to replace the three adults, the couple and the mashoga's place, in the society. Many volunteer for more, especially in tri-bond societies."

"At least they are welcome in the society. I had a friend, a roommate actually. When a few SF's found out he was gay, they beat him almost to death. And of course he was discharged when he was better." Lorne said as Teyla excused herself to talk to a sergeant who was waving at her.

"There was this one cadet, Cadet Benda, he quit the Academy. I found out later that he was gay. He apologized for having been so fearful of other cadets back then that he did something that if he had not been so afraid of being discovered, he never would have done." Carter said.

"What did he do?" Lorne asked.

"There was this Cadet White, he hated that I was female and smart so he and Cadet Benda, they raped me. I was unconscious at the time, they jumped me as I was coming back from Aero Lab. I woke up in a maintenance closet at two am. I knew what had happened but not the who until Benda confessed six years later. We bumped into each other at a conference in DC, he recognized me, pulled me to the side, and he just confessed."

"Did you ever confront White?" Lorne asked concerned.

"Benda told me he is in a wheelchair. Never graduated." Carter revealed. "Actually, Benda and White had been beaten by another Cadet. Jonas Hanson. I dated Jonas for four years after we graduated, hell I almost married him, and he never told me he knew who those men were or that he defended me like that."

"It had nothing to do with you," Sheppard said from behind her.

"Sheppard," Carter turned in surprise. "You made it to the party."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Lorne asked, having processed his comment.

"I was a doolie at the time. He just grabbed me out of bed and had me guard a door. I didn't know. Not that you were there or what they were planning. Cadet Hanson had heard from Cadet White that I was the guard and he beat me senseless. But it wasn't to avenge a wrong or out of respect for you. He was marking territory. He told me to mess with a girl that wasn't from his squadron. He didn't care if there was another victim, just that his own wasn't a target. He called us 'poachers'," Sheppard confessed.

"Now that makes sense. Jonas was always possessive and controlling. It was why I left him. I guess you would be happy to know he was killed for playing a false god on P3X-513." Carter explained.

"He was SGC?" Sheppard asked in amazement.

"Leader of SG-9."

"Wow. I guess bad apples make it everywhere." Lorne said.

"Would you like some hamburgers?" Felz interrupted. His arms carrying trays of food. "The ribs won't be ready for a while, but the hamburgers are ready, as is the assorted salads and the broiled steaks. Chef decided not to grill them as the space wouldn't akomi, akomo, fit them all."

"I guess not even your skills can feed the lot of us," Lorne said.

"The grill only fit the ribs, which is already a lot, and a handful of steaks. LT Bolo says only the officers can touch them." Felz said.

"I'm sure that won't last long. The civilians will see to that. Speaking of, here comes someone who will try to eat my steak," Sheppard looked over at the entry way as McKay walked in.

"Katie not coming?" Carter asked as McKay joined them.

"Pegasus protein never seems to sit well with her. Plus she isn't a big meat eater."

Ronon and Keller walked in and joined the table. They discussed Felz even after the boy was sent to guest quarters by chef with strict orders to be awake for morning mess call, breakfast and group PT.


Felz looked at the City from the Jumper. He had spent the entire day as a part of the mess hall crew. He had even taken a nap during his free time. He was scheduled to leave so he had been excused from the rest of the dinner shift. He carried a bag in his hand with his new treasures. The calisthenics book tucked neatly between a few gifts various people had given him. The jumper flew back into the bay and down into the gate room. As he flew through the gate Felz closed his eyes and prayed to the Ancestors that the wraith would leave him alone and he could come back next year and become a part of this wonderful family.


A/N: I used the fact that Carter was born in Dec. 1968 and that would make her the Academy Class of '90 (Even if she graduated High School early the academy laws means that no one under 17 can attend; She would have had to wait to attend either way) And Yes, they were called Floppy Disk 90; it was because they were the first class to be issued computers (and TI-66's).

A/N2: Yes I know Sheppard didn't attend the Academy (He went to college where he knew a Todd) but I needed another Academy graduate and he is the most likely to have been accepted what with his MENSA qualifying intelligence and family connections. With the fact that Sheppard was born in 1970 I extrapolated Academy Class of '92. (And yes, hundreds of them suffered food poisoning from chicken salad)

A/N3: Regarding Cadman - StargateWiki says she is a member of Stackhouse's AR team but he is enlisted which would mean she couldn't be a subordinate in his team, I put her on Lorne's team instead. I know StargateWiki says she is Air Force and never mentions Marine service while Duet has a picture of her in a Marine uniform and regular wiki says she is USMC and not AF. Making her enlisted then commissioning her later makes sense given she is only a LT. Crossing her from Marine to Air Force unites the two canons and given the facts of EOD for each branch, and the story theme, I thought it made the most sense. Also StargateWiki says she was trained in Eglin, Florida but if Cadman had really worked as part of a SS detail (usually 5 years) and training instructor (usually 3 years) that would be impossible for her to have trained in Eglin as it only opened in 1999.