Title: Twelve Hook Improved Days of Christmas

Author: Pinkcat4569

Rating Teen, for innuendos, adult situations, language

Pairing/Characters: Emma/Killian, Henry, other characters briefly

Description: Killian decides to improve on the gifts of the Twelve Days of Christmas, personalizing them for his love.

7400 Words, in several chapters

Chapter One, Twelve Hook Improved Days of Christmas

Henry and Killian were strolling down a shop aisle filled with Christmas items. "The Twelve Days of christmas" was playing.

"This is the most ignorant song yet," snarled Killian.

Henry laughed. "Worse than Frosty?"

"Frosty," grumbled Hook. He gestured grandly with his one hand. "It is supposed to be a land without magic, lad. How can a man made of ice and snow 'laugh and play the same as you and me' without the aid of magic?" Killian turned, his head tilting to the side. "Oh, but there was magic in the old silk hat they found, wasn't there?" He shook his head. "This land seems to be quite contradictory. There's a lot of magic to be had it seems in song.'

Henry chuckled. Killian rolled his eyes dramatically as the Twelve Days continued..

Kilian was momentarily distracted from the song. Sitting on a shelf, calling to him, was a small Christmas angel with long flowing yellow hair. He smiled and picked it up, gazing at its green eyes. "She's enchanting," he whispered.

Henry smiled. He instantly saw why the pirate was attracted. The angel did look like Emma. For a moment it even made Killian forget the music.

It didn't last.

Killian growled slightly and glared at the ceiling. "This song is far worse than our Frosty friend. These gifts make no sense. Where is the sentiment, the inspiration of one's love?"

Henry had to smile at the little angel and the fearsome pirate that held her. Captain Hook actually had a little ball of sentimental fluff inside. He really did love Henry's mother and that made him feel very happy.

"Who in this land would give a lover a partridge or a pear tree?" asked Killian indignantly. " All one has to do is wander into the nearest food market and acquire one of those large birds. Even pears come in those strange see-through satchels."

Henry laughed. "I think it was written a long time ago, Killian. When people did give those kind of gifts."

Four calling birds was sung. "How quaint," said Killian. His eyes lingered on the angel.

"You should get it," said Henry. "She'd like it."

Hook looked at him, then back to the angel. "It is too small. While it does evoke some of your mother's beauty and magical essence it is hardly enough to express the depth of my love for her."

"Oh, brother," muttered Henry.

Just then the song hit, "Five golden rings!"

Killian broke into a wide grin. "Finally, a worthy gift in this inadequate list!"

Henry laughed. Gift shopping was turning out to be kind of fun this year, at least with his mom's befuddled pirate boyfriend.

They kept moving down the aisles. It turned out the gold rings were the last adequate gift in the song.

"If a man truly cherished his beloved he would not need nine ladies dancing. The only woman I want in my arms is your mother," he said. Henry just kept laughing and shaking his head as the criticisms kept coming.

"Pipers, drummers, lords?" asked Hook. "This imbecile has no idea how to win the heart of a woman."

"You do?"

Killian looked shocked. "Indeed I do. For one thing, I would invite as few people as possible. No need to share the company of one's true love with more people than necessary."

"Nice family time there, Killian."

"Oh, I do look forward to the holiday with you and your grandparents, even your other mother and the Loxley clan. However, I do intend to spirit your mother away later in the evening for a romantic, intimate interlude."

"Um, the less I know, the better, Killian."

The pirate laughed and patted his head. A new song, "Silent Night," played. "Finally, the assault of the twelve most ridiculous gifts of Christmas has ended," he said with a sigh of relief. He actually clapped, with his hook.

Then he became quiet.

He was too quiet for Henry, who put down the soda flavored candy canes he had found and turned. "Killian?"

The pirate stood still, a slow, bright smile drifting across that handsome face. "I feel inspired."

"Uh-oh."

"I shall give your mother twelve days of proper tokens of one's love and and devotion."

"Gifts you'll buy or steal?"

"Henry! For shame! I am reformed."

Henry cocked his head to the side and gave him a half glare. "Really? Don't make me search you again."

Killian raised his arms in an 'I give up' gesture. "For the last time, I thought those baubles were complimentary, like the little canes of red and white sugar."

"It was a jewelry store! Those rings and things were just on display! Candy canes are one thing, pricey 'baubles' are way different, Killian."

"How was I to know the worth the inhabitants of this strange land put on their sweets?" he asked with a teasing smile. "Anyway. We have work to do."

"We?"

"Of course lad. You must help me! I was just getting her one gift now I must get ten more."

"Ten? Shouldn't a pirate know how to count? Twelve minus one equals eleven, sailor boy."

"Ha ha," muttered Killian. He moved with purpose out of the aisle. Henry had to run to catch up.

"Where are you…" Then the boy stopped. Killian had returned to the little golden haired angel.

Killian looked up and smiled. "This shall be my proverbial partridge," he said.

Henry smiled. "That's nice, Killian. I like it."

The pirate returned his smile, with a fond glint in his eyes. "That pleases me, Henry. I am happy to have your approval. Now for the pear tree, I think one of those small, photoshopped trees they sell will do."

"Whoa, whoa," said Henry, grabbing his arm. He was chuckling. "A what tree?"

"Photoshopped. Your mother informed me sometime ago that it means faked."

HEnry burst out laughing. "Not all the time, Killian."

The irate shook his head. "I have no time to quibble over language. To the little, not real, and apparently not photoshopped fake trees!" He moved quickly to the artificial tree section, a laughing teenage boy behind him.

After scrutinizing every single tree, Killian settle on a three foot tall, pre-lit, green pine tree. He smiled at Henry with his most cheeky, smug grin.

"I like it," the boy said. "Wait, you are buying it and the angel, right?

Killian rolled his baby blue eyes. "Yes, Lad. I have a small fortune in gold doubloons in my pockets."

"Really?"

The pirate nodded like it was obvious. "Now, I must think.. ten gifts to go, culminating in one superb show of total love."

"Just promise me if you go back to that one store, you'll go alone," said Henry. He then giggled. "Or take Grampa Dave with you."

"I told you lad, the baubles confused me."

"Not the jewelry store, Killian, the other one," he said through his teeth.

The pirate was confused, then he got the message and smirked. "Ah, that store." He then laughed. "I do not think I shall ask your grandfather to accompany back to the knicker store. No, he would never forgive me. Although I am sure his face would be redder than yours."

"You shouldn't drag your girlfriend's son into a place that...lacy," Henry said as he shuddered all over and looked ill.

"I didn't realize that was all the shop sold, Lad. How many times must I apologize? I was as uncomfortable as you, I assure you."

"Really? You didn't seem to mind the sales lady drooling all over you."

"She was very attentive and helpful. Have no fear my boy, I only have eyes for Emma Swan. Besides, you get used to being devilishly irresistible. It is its own type of curse."

"You are such a ham."

Killain frowned. "How is it possible, that I with this face resemble a piece of smoked pork?"

Henry laughed loudly and walked ahead. "Come on, let's buy those things and go. I"m hungry."

"Aw yes." Killian purchased the angel with no troubles. The Storybrooke merchants were becoming used to gold doubloons.

End of Chapter One