Tool [tool] n.
1) means to end: something used as a means of achieving something
2) something used for job: something used in the course of somebody's everyday work
3) somebody manipulated by another: somebody who is easily manipulated, especially to carry out unpleasant or dishonest tasks that somebody else is unwilling to do
…
"What do you know about me…that I don't?"
She doesn't know what to do.
He looks so sad and helpless then even she feels powerful. Like she can reach over and make him bend. Or snap.
Those blue eyes are staring at her; searching for answers she can't give, answers she doesn't want him to know. She won't blame him if he gets angry with her; she's just as guilty as the rest. If not more.
But she feels like he needs to know. Even if it'll hurt him; and probably confuse him even more than he already is. This information can set him free, or at least, she prays it will. And while those big blue eyes are staring at her, she can see something underneath the confusion; something she's seen before in another pair of blue eyes. Her resolve crumbles and she knows he can handle this.
She takes a breath and begins.
x I x
The man with red hair is kinder when no one else is around. She wishes she knew his name.
She woke up here a few days ago, and she doesn't know anyone's name, but they all seem to know her; even more than she knows. Which is terrifying.
The man comes into her room with a box of colorful sticks and a pad of white stuff, "I'm supposed to give these to you." he notices the way she holds them, as if they are the rarest gems in all the worlds. For some strange reason, that doesn't sit quite well with him.
She nods at him, a silent way to show her thanks. But she doesn't know what to do with them, or, what DiZ wants her to do. Instead of asking the man, she just opens the box, takes out a yellow cylinder, and examines it. She likes this color; it's similar to her hair.
The man rolls his eyes, "Do you even know what you're doing?"
Her eyes flicker to his for a brief second but she stays silent. That's all the answer he needs though because he's walking over to her and she's trying so hard not to flinch. But when he yanks the yellow thing out of her hand, she can see the tiniest of smiles.
"You're supposed to draw, it's kinda like printing an image from your mind onto paper." his hand moves across the paper and a yellow trail follows his hand, "They're called crayons."
She nods again, taking in the information. And then she has to ask the question, "But what do I need them for?"
The man shrugs, "I dunno. He said it might help you later on." he finishes the picture and stands up, "Well, it's been fun, but I gotta go."
He hands her the cylin- crayon, and grins, "The name's Axel, got it memorized?"
x AM x
Today, DiZ pays her a visit. It feels like she's been here forever, but in all honesty, she really doesn't know. Keeping track of time is just another painful reminder of what she's supposed to do.
He looks at her, "His memories, how far have you gotten?"
The pencil in her grip tightens. "It's difficult to say really."
She watches him; he's walking around her room looking at all of her drawings. He stops in front of the picture of Kairi, "Have you replaced her yet?"
"I'm trying, there's so many memories of her."
He looks at her so calmly that she feels a twinge of panic bubble in her stomach. She hasn't felt this way in a long time. DiZ only nods and heads for the door, "See to it you find a way to speed things up."
When he's gone, she feels relief and guilt. Her eyes find the picture of Kairi again, the girl she's connected to, the girl Sora cares so much about. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
She draws a star shaped fruit next to the picture. She's seen it before in Sora's memories, and although she doesn't understand much about it, she knows it means something important.
Taking a step back, she examines her work. It isn't much, but it's all she can give.
x NOT x
Larxene is the only female she's seen so far in the castle. And quite frankly, she finds the older woman terrifying. Her eyes are similar to Axel's, but they have a sharpness to them that Axel's don't, and they aren't very friendly.
She really doesn't like it when Larxene has to deliver messages, and what's even worse is when Marluxia is with her. She hates it, and she supposes they don't care.
She's learned to stay quiet when certain Organization members are around. Some like to assert their dominance, like to show her that they are in charge, that they are the captors and she is the prey. She doesn't need reminding. Being weak and helpless are attributes she wants to change about herself; she can't fight them, and they all know it.
Others act like she is a pet, and treat her as such, giving her small but appreciated gifts every once in awhile, albeit when DiZ or any superiors are around.
Meeting new members is somewhat exciting though, not everyone in this castle is cruel and sadistic. They just don't quite comprehend what all this is about, what anything is about.
She can't judge them when her own hands are defiled.
x BUT x
Memories.
Xion is made of them.
Made up of the memories that slipped through.
This imperfect replica makes her heart ache; Xion is being so selfless and acting so calm for her situation. It isn't fair, not for anyone.
"You'll disappear." she feels that helpless feeling again, she doesn't want anyone else to get hurt. Not anymore.
Xion smiles oh so prettily, and yet oh so sadly, "I know."
That simple sentence bears so much weight, and yet will free so many people.
She can see the resemblance; that heroic and altruistic resemblance.
x YET x
Sora is coming. The castle feels like it is alive because of all the energy.
She thinks of Roxas then; a confused boy with power he didn't even know he had. A small smile forms when she thinks of him, he was different, so much like herself. She had watched over him, just like Xion had asked. But she didn't know she would grow to care so much about him, even though she knew he wouldn't last long. He had to fuse with Sora after all. They weren't complete with out each other.
She knows the statement is cliché, but they really are two sides of the same coin. They both mean so much to her, and yet one doesn't remember her and the other might never see her again.
Loneliness is a feeling she though she was used to by know, but if the pain she feels is any indication, the feeling can still hurt so much.
Welcome, come on in.
x I x
Apparently, she isn't needed anymore, she's fulfilled her purpose. Her time has come, but she isn't sure if she's ready yet.
DiZ doesn't know she knows.
Riku is supposed to dispose of her now, and he does grab her arm rather forcefully. She looks up at his hooded face and can tell he's angry. About what though, she isn't sure. All she knows is that she's scared and wants to be back in her little white room.
When she looks up, Axel is there. She doesn't remember a time when she was so relieved to see someone before. Riku lets her go when they get to a hill, much to her confusion. She sits down on a bench with her notebook in her lap while the two men talk. Riku asks if they have anywhere to go, and she has to hold back a humorless laugh. They're Nobodies. Where could they go?
Axel smirks rather sadly, "Such things don't exist for guys like us."
She flips open to a picture of Roxas and Sora, she stares at it and thinks, "That's right. There is no place for me. Still…" images of blonde hair, key blades, and blue eyes fill her mind. She can feel her throat close up. "I have some places I want to go. I have some people I want to see."
Riku tells them to go. That he owes them for what happened at Castle Oblivion. Axel nods and opens a portal, waiting for her. But she's just looking between the two, wondering if this is just some sick trick. When her eyes land on Axel he nods at her, and she understands that this is real, that everything that's going to be okay.
She looks back at Riku who is staring at her, and says, "I'm sorry." she realizes for the first time that Riku is someone who deserves to be happy. She prays he will, that he'll get himself away from the Organization.
Riku watches as the two disappear into the portal.
x AM x
She doesn't know who she is. Why she's here. Or who the man with amber eyes is. She isn't frightened or scared, happy or excited, she just is. Or, whatever being here could mean.
What a weird thought.
The man stares at her for a long time before he speaks, his voice is old with age, "Do you know who you are?"
She stares blankly ahead. Who is she?
He continues on, "Your true name?"
True name? She doesn't know what he's talking about. Can't he be a little more specific?
The man sighs, and starts pacing. She watches him with mild interest. Suddenly he speaks up again, "I need you to help me."
A feeling of remembering wiggles its way up, she isn't sure what makes her say this but she does anyway, "With memories?"
He stops, and looks at her with a strange look in his eye, "Yes, with a boy called Sora's memories."
That name sounds familiar, like she should know it already, and she feels like she kind of does. That name means something important to her, she just doesn't know why.
They both watch each other, and she wishes she knew his name. Or maybe her own name.
He walks over to her and she feels intimidated, not being able to see his face completely is unnerving. "I suppose you should know your name. Not your true name of course, but something to call you."
Again with that true name stuff, she wishes he would stop. But she feels better that she wont have to walk around without a name, an identity. She waits patiently, but her curiosity gets the better of her, "What is it? My name?"
He smiles at her, and she wants to run. "Naminé."
…
The existence of a man is so small a thing to take, so mighty a thing to employ.