AUTHOR'S NOTE: Shiro: Hello our glorious readers! We missed you so much! But with me getting sick all the time...

Amaya: And me getting ready to move, and dealing with school, we kiiiiinda forgot that we promised a sequel. …oops.

Shiro: That is, until we looked at the Edward plushie again!

Amaya: Poor little bastard has been in my car for a month.

Shiro: I dunno if he has heat stroke, cold stroke or both!

Amaya: Cold stroke?

Shiro: …...Yep!

Amaya: Whaaaaatever. Anyway, we're back bitches! We hope you enjoy this new installment of fangirl craziness!

Disclaimer: We do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Shiro: If we did, I'd be raping Scar...a lot.

Chapter 1

Finally, after much preparation (a/n Shiro: AKA, bringing lots of snacks! Amaya: *pocky nom*), the two fangirls finally managed to get the portal open with the help of the Fuhrer's notebook. They were not even sure if they could accomplish such a thing in their world at first, but now they were ready.

"Okay, are we READEEYYYYYY?!" Shiro shouted with much vigor as she already started to charge toward the portal.

Amaya grabbed the back of Shiro's shirt, nearly choking her in mid-run. "We need to double check to make sure we have everything first," she said in exasperation.

"Fiiiiine, if you wanna be all...safe and shit," Shiro groaned.

"Okay, let's go down the checklist," Amaya said as she pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. "Maps?"

"Che- ...oh wait, left them on the printer," Shiro said.

Amaya facepalmed. "Aaand this is why we have a checklist!"

"Damare," Shiro mumbled. "Anyway, check!"

"Snacks?"

"Check."

"Clothes?"

"Check."

"Girl necessities?"

"Check."

"Edward plushie?"

"SQUEEEEE! ...uh, I mean check please!"

"We're going to another world, not a restaurant," Amaya said. "Flashlight?"

"Check."

"Other dangerous things that you really shouldn't be handling?"

"Hehehe, check!" Shiro said as she pulled out an arsenal of knives, daggers, and lighters. "And I have gasoline in my bag too, in case I need to light someone on fire. ...I mean something. Ehehehehe...DIE PALM TREE!"

"Ooooookay. So I guess we're good to go!" Amaya confirmed.

"I also have my voodoo book!" Shiro blurted. "Just in case."

"Good to know," Amaya said with a sigh. "Are we rea-!"

"MUSTANG RAAAAAAAAPE!" Shiro shouted as she charged through the portal, obviously paying no heed to Amaya.

The slightly more sane fangirl sweatdropped. "Goddamnit." She adjusted her pack and walked through the portal.

~~~~~~~~~~In Central~~~~~~~~~~

"Back so soon, Fullmetal?" Roy Mustang asked with a condescending tone.

"Shut up, Mustang!" Edward snapped. "You don't know the hell I've been through!"

"Do tell, shrimp," Roy provoked.

"You'll never believe what happened, Colonel!" Alphonse intervened before his brother could blow his top. "It was so...weird."

"There were these two girls, and..." Edward proceeded to explain in detail what had happened earlier that day. He left out the part where he hugged the two fangirls in gratitude at the end.

Mustang seemed to recognize Edward's expression though. He turned to Alphonse. "Is that the full story, Al?" he asked with a mischievous smile.

"YES, THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY!" Edward shouted, slightly red-faced.

Roy chuckled. "Oh, so it isn't."

"Colonel, stop tormenting Fullmetal," Hawkeye sighed. Though she inwardly admitted that this was all very entertaining to watch.

"What?" Roy said innocently. "I'm just trying to get the whole story." His explanation was not very convincing, considering the fact that he had a large ass smirk on his face.

"That is the whole story damnit!" Edward shouted, still blushing all the way.

Fullmetal at the Colonel continued to bicker for several more hours, with Alphonse and Hawkeye standing by in exasperation.

A few miles away, however, something strange was transpiring...

~~~~~~~~~~Back at the portal~~~~~~~~~~

Shiro and Amaya found themselves inside of a large, empty warehouse.

"Where are we?" Amaya wondered aloud.

"I didn't do it!" Shiro exclaimed.

"Gee, no shit," Amaya said. Her eye suddenly caught sight of a circle surrounded by dozens of intricately drawn symbols. "A transmutation circle!" she cried. (a/n Amaya: By the way, the warehouse is where Ed and Alphonse transmuted into our world. We forgot to mention it. Whoops.)

Shiro gasped and yelled, "IT'S AN EDWARD CLUE! THIS WILL LEAD US TO EDWARD! JUST LIKE BLUE'S CLUES!"

"Shiro, quiet!" Amaya snapped. "There could be a murderer like Barry the Chopper around here!"

"Whoa dude...that's deep," Shiro said dazedly.

"How is that deep?"

"No, I'm just talking about this ginormous box," Shiro said, pointing at a large box. She gasped. "Something just moved!"

Amaya freaked out. "WHAT? WHAT?!"

"Oh nevermind, it was just a shadow," Shiro said dismissively as she hopped down the mountain of boxes.

Amaya grabbed the smallest box she saw and chucked it at Shiro's head.

"What was that for?" Shiro whined like a child.

"Nothing," Amaya grumbled. She grabbed Shiro and dragged her out of the warehouse. "Let's just get going."

When the fangirls were about a block away from the warehouse, a sudden realization hit Shiro. "But wait...if there was no light in that box, how was there a shadow?"

Amaya stopped in her tracks and paled. "Shiro, I think you're imagining things," Amaya said, trying to convince herself more than Shiro. "Let's just keep moving, shall we?"

"...Okay!" Shiro said cheerfully.

The two fangirls continued down the road, unaware of the journey that lay before them.

Or behind them for that matter.

~~~~~~~~~~Back at the warehouse~~~~~~~~~~

Three dark figures stood side by side in the entrance of the warehouse. One lean, one fat, and one curvy as fuck. (a/n Shiro: Seriously, how does she not have back pain?)

"Who the hell were those two?" Envy asked in his strange gravelly voice.

"Can I eat them, Lust?" Gluttony drooled eagerly.

"No, not yet," Lust said calmly. "They intrigue me. I'm more interested in why they're here than who they are."

Envy tsked as he stared out into the empty street. "Who gives a damn who they are or why they're here?" He stopped, staring into space confusedly. "What I want to know is, what the hell is Blue's Clues?"

~~~~~~~~~~Back in Central...again!~~~~~~~~~~

Edward, Alphonse, Mustang and Hawkeye all sat in various places around the Colonel's office with relativity untouched cups of coffee in their hands. The argument had finally died down and the room was quiet...for once.

It was Roy who broke the silence once more. "I have to admit, Fullmetal," he started. "As farfetched as it was, that was still a hell of a story."

"So you don't believe us," Edward grumbled into his coffee cup. He let out a deep sigh, "Well, whatever. As long as I never have to deal with those crazy chicks ever agai-"

BAM!

"MUSTANG RAAAAAAAAAPE!"

Edward blanched and dropped his coffee. "Oh...crap."

Alphonse jumped out of his seat in alarm. "Brother, they're here! But how?!" He turned to look at Edward, but found that he was no longer next to him. "...Brother?" Alphonse glanced up and saw his brother clinging to the top of the bookshelf.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Edward yelled, his voice was a concoction of fear and anger.

"The purple spotted tiger rolled itself into a ball and rolled down the sky but his mouth was open so it caught a dragonfly that was black and red and there was a lot of choking. Sadly the dragonfly was poisonous so the tiger couldn't pass go and collect its two hundred fairy shits."

The room was silent for a moment, starting oddly at the short fangirl.

"What she means is," Amaya began to explain calmly as she pulled the notebook from her pack. "We found your book and transmuted here." Then, in the blink of an eye, all of the taller fangirl's sanity melted away as she locked eyes with Edward. "Now, where were we? Oh right, EDWAAAAAAAARD!"

"COLONEL DIPSHIT!" Shiro screamed as she rushed towards Roy.

Edward started to laugh at the very appropriate nickname Shiro had shouted at the Colonel. That is, until he saw Amaya rapidly scaling the bookshelf. "AHHH!" He shouted in alarm.

The tiny alchemist tried to scramble away, but Amaya caught hold of him in the likeness of a cat catching a wounded mouse. "Gotcha!" she growled eccentrically.

"LET GO!" Edward shouted. He was trying to sound intimidating, but he sounded more like he was scared for his life. (a/n Shiro: Or his virginity.)

Meanwhile, Shiro leaped over the Colonel's desk and tackled Mustang to the floor. "RAAAAAAAAAAAPE!" She shouted again.

"OKAY FULLMETAL I BELIEVE YOU!" Roy shouted, his voice cracking with panic. "SOMEONE GET HER OFF ME!"

"AL HEEELP!" Edward shouted and reached for his brother as Amaya dragged him off the bookshelf.

Click.

The room went silent as everyone turned towards the sound.

Shiro turned to see Hawkeye pointing a gun in her face.

With an eerie calmness, Hawkeye said, "I hope you understand, but I cannot let you harm the Colonel."

"Oooh shiny," Shiro stared cross-eyed into the gun barrel. She stuck her finger into the barrel and exclaimed, "I can feel the bullet!"

Everyone, even the crazed Amaya, sweatdropped.

At that moment, Hughes walked in with his usual oblivious cheerfulness ringing in his voice. "Colonel! I've got some new pictures of my beautiful daughter I want to show you!" He stopped in his tracks as he surveyed the odd scene before him. "Am I interrupting something?" he said suggestively.

With the hand that didn't have the finger stuck in the barrel, Shiro waved ecstatically and screamed, "HI HUUUUUGHES!"

Amaya was so engrossed with the sight of Hughes that Edward managed to wriggle away from her. "Fuck, he's married. Must not glomp, must not glomp..." she chanted.

"It's okay Amaya, you can glomp him!" Shiro exclaimed. "Just don't rape him afterward. After all, his name practically has the word 'hug' in it!"

"Good point...YAAAAAAY!" Amaya sprang forward and pounced on the Lieutenant Colonel.

END AUTHOR'S NOTE: Shiro: That was awesome!

Amaya: And a hell of a lot of fun to write! I just hope it's equally as fun to read.

Shiro: So much brainpower! ...That I don't have.

Amaya: We know, Shiro.

Shiro: My mommy says I'm special! *sniff sniff* ...actually, my mommy was a prostitute.

Amaya: Is that really something you wanna tell people on the internet?

Shiro: Nah, I'm pretty sure everyone already knows. My mom really gets around.

Amaya: Aaaanyways, it may be a while before we get the next chapter out. There's been a lot going on in both of our lives lately and we just can't be sure. But until next time, we hope you likey!