I am here I am not dead I am writing. Ive not written for long. Its sad I know and Im sorry. Sorry doctor sorry sir. Sorry mother and sorry father. For a lot of day and a day and a day I was writing and it helped. Like the doctor say. It made the good day happen more and the cloud even when I saw it wasnt bad. I could be out and about and out in the big city by myself for a day I got so good. I went to every shop I could and bought everything I could except what I didnt know the names of. Ive never known the names of so many things. So its OK. That was when I was so good. The doctor said he was proud. The pony with the horn said she was proud but she didnt say it. She wrote it in a letter. Ive never seen her except on the day where she was at the doctors house and they put me in the metal thing and made me dream of the cloud and dream of what was behind the cloud. After that she left and never came back. She said she would but couldnt. I believe her because she was nice. She wrote that she was proud of me and that was her last letter. I realised one day that she wasnt coming back and it made me sad but I told that to the doctor and say that that that was very good for me to have understood that. I wish she would come back. So that was when I was so good.

After that I got bad. I got so bad. I am so bad. I am worst. I realised it one day when I was doing the letters for sir. For a long long time I had been so good that I was doing all of the letters every time every day. Sir got so proud he gave me more coins every time. But then one day on the day that I realised that the pony with the horn wouldnt ever be coming back. I had a dream. It was a strange dream because it wasnt a dream because there was nothing in it. I dreamed of nothing all night. And I remembered the nothing. All the morning when I was going to sirs house to do the letters I was remembering the nothing and was thinking of it and nothing else only the nothing in my head. And when I got to sirs house I started doing the letters without even picking up the bag I was so busy thinking of nothing. I didnt even realise. But that was when sir and doctor started to realise. That I was going bad again.

One day doctor say to me. Your conishon is dejenrateve he say. I asked him whats that mean and he say youre getting worse. I knew it already. The cloud was with the nothing now in my head. My tongue feel heavy again. My eye feel dead. Doctor say I cant help you. I already help you and youre worse now. I cant help you he say. And. And I realise that I was going to get so worse I could not be anymore. Be dead. Get so worse to be dead I would. I was so scared. I cried at the doctor over and over until he stop me and he make me leave. I dont understand what its like to be dead. But its bad even worse than the cloud. I think its the nothing. Dead. I havent been doing the letters for a long time now. I havent been out of my house for a leng no lang no long time now. I just write every day. Doctor use to say it help. I hope it still do. I hope it help.

Ive written so much. All the black words hurt to look at theres so many. I just have to keep writin. A time ago a knock was at my door and I didnt let them in and I didnt do anything or make a noise so they wouldnt know I was in and they left. I do that every day. I wish they dont try to come back. I want to not be with other ponies when I. When i. But. Theres one ponie I like whos here. My mother is here next to me and its her whose helping me to write the. She smile more thn she does when she was not dead. And

I write beco becea ba becaose I dont wont to be dead and then nothing

I f I write and ponies see them ponies will know me and I wont be gone Ill be dead but not gone I dont want to be to gone

I keep remeemer things mother. Cloud so heavy I feel it. Feell nothing all. I feel hard to write

And

I see what happen I see flying so fast I be young not now be young and see the tree there. Hit it pain. Then cloud all life. I want I naver hit tree. I want never be.

. . . . . Never be alive

Hard write hard. Cant stop it help doctor say. Mother help I wish I wish I maither love you so much dont go

moter i love you but dont want to go. dont go mother. dont want to folow. write get good always. need to. need to write

I am writing. I am not be dead. I am I am I am I am Who am I

mother i go

mother

"The deceased body of a local pegasus was found in their home recently after a tax inspector investigated a seeming lack of life in the house. The mare, who was known to have severe educational disabilities, was reported to have helped at the local mail office as a livelihood, the local commissioner of which requested that the name and identity of the deceased be censored. Her death has been attributed by a local physician to 'a rare, exceedingly unfortunate, and, yet, incurable degenerative condition which affected the areas of the mind concerned with language and memory.' The tax inspector who discovered the body reported that he had found 'reams and reams of strange writing' inside the deceased's home, 'which this poor mare must have been scrawling off as she died... they were intimately personal, and private, and for that reason, I saw fit to burn them, so that they could not be exploited, or abused, by others.' The pegasus had no known next of kin. She has been buried next to the graves of her parents in their hometown."