SOMETIMES
Everyone feels this way sometimes. Its up to you to decide whose pov this is. There is reference to a possible slash relationship but nothing graphic.
Sometimes I just need some time by myself. Time to regroup. Time to relax. Time to think about my life and my future. Time to do all the things I never seem to have time to do.
Sometimes the pain is more than I can bear. Physical pain. Emotional Pain. The pain of losing someone I love. The pain of wanting something I'm afraid I'll never have. Sometimes just the pain of living.
Sometimes I'm afraid. Afraid of dying alone. Afraid of living my life alone. Afraid of losing the most important person in my life, my partner and my best friend. My true soul mate, the other half of my heart.
Sometimes I wish I could tell the world how much I love him. I wish people wouldn't judge us because we're in love and we're both men. I wish I could put a ring on his finger to show the world that he belongs to me. I wish things could be different for us. I wish we didn't have to keep our love a secret.
Sometimes I hope the future will be kind to us. I hope we'll have decades left to be together. I hope neither one of us has to be the one who's left behind. Left behind to go on alone, to die a little inside each day, to pray for death so we can be together again. I hope it's me who goes first and not him.