READ THIS PLEASE!

Hello if you're reading this! This story is about Kira (which is me and that's my real name!) and Danny (Which is Larvitarr whose real name is Danny!) so were basically writing about ourselves but this is no normal fanfic. SO R&R PLEASE!

WELCOME TO THE EPIC POKE-FIC!!!

THIS IS KIRA'S PART!

Written by Kira AKA Kster!

DISCLAIMER: I bet you've read my disclaimers so many times that you know what I'm going to say don't you? I don't own Pokemon at all, it belongs to Pokemon USA and Satoshi Tajiri! And if I did own Pokemon, M&MShipping would happen (not that it isn't happening right now!) and the writers who wrote Pokemon would be killed unless they brought Misty and AAML back! But I don't own it but I DO own a Cat so...take that!

"Pika pika!" the sound echoed over and over again, making my brain hurt. I'd already had to endure an hour of my mum singing, "Girl's just wanna have fun!," and now this? WHY ME! I opened my eyes slowly to find that stupid little rodent sitting there. "WHY YOU LITTLE PIECE OF ELECTRIC-" Pikachu slaps butt and runs off. Well isn't that cheery, I wake up to find a yellow fluff ball's butt in my face, what else will God throw at me next?

Suddenly, a voice appeared, "I DON'T KNOW, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SEND YOU A REFERANCE PAGE?" and then it stopped. I plucked up my courage and replied in my most pissed off whisper, "Very funny God, very funny, don't you have a date with Satan or something?" and then that voice appeared again but magnified by 300 times with a whiny tone, "WHY DOES EVERYBODY PICK ON ME? ME AND SATAN ARE JUST FRIENDS! YOUR JUST LIKE MISTY WATERFLOWER!" and then it stopped. "Thanks for the compliment!" and I tossed my brown wavy, hair with blonde streaks back in my most girly way as if to make him think that I may look sweet and innocent but he didn't want to mess with me any day!

Anyway, I live in New Barktown, yep they named it after the Mayor's dog who also has its own night club and restaurant named "Le woofe", how original? I'm a thirteen-year-old girl (your probably thinking I'm WAY too old to be a trainer but here you have to be thirteen to be one in this town!) and I want to be the best Pokemon Master ever!

"Where have we BURP heard that BURP again?" a small little pokemon with tassels hanging down it's earless sides vomited. "At least I HAVE a dream!" I shot back but Jirachi was too busy checking out his gay porno magazine, "Ooh, who do we have here? Oh yeah, Tracey can draw me anytime!"

That's it! "I'm getting out of here!" and I grabbed my Poke'gear and ran downstairs while that disgusting pokemon was masturbating in my room. Jirachi popped up around town time to time and my house was where he liked to go most of the time, especially MY room, I know he was a pervert but i thought he was gay!

"Hey dad, what do you think of my outfit?" I twirled around and did a little curtsey, haha take that Dawn! My dad looked up from his newspaper and said rather sternly, "Aren't those shorts a bit short?", I sighed, he really didn't get fashion sense did he? "There supposed to be short okay?" and I leapt off and grabbed my backpack and ran outside. "NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!" and I started to ride my bike down the road that lead to the Pokemon research centre.

"G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S!" I sang as I peddled, my iPod stuck in my ear but then that I saw that Pikachu standing in the middle of the road, right in my way.

"Pika, pika, pika pii!" it sang as it smacked it's butt, "THAT'S IT! YOU WANT A BIT OF TIME WITH MY MALLET! HEY SATAN, GIVE ME THAT MODEL 2000!" I shouted up at the heavens, "DO I HAVE TOO? I'M HAVING MY NAILS DONE!" Pikachu and me looked at each other for a moment then, "YES YOU HAVE TOO!" then I pulled out a mallet from my space time pocket and WHAM! That fuzz ball was out like a light, "Know one messes with Kira! Ta ta sucker!" but just to be nice I put a fifty dollar note in its hand as it lay there knocked unconscious and then I got back on my bike and started peddling again.

A FEW MINUTES LATER…

"Pika pii?" it rubbed it's head in shock but then found the money in its paw. "It's time to do the Pikachu dance! WHAT THE HELL! I CAN SPEAK IN ENGLISH NOW?" and then the narrator replied, "Don't blame me yellow, I only get ten bucks an hour for this gig!". Pikachu turned its mind back to the money in its hand, "I got me some mula! I got me some mula! La la la la!" but the careless pokemon let go of that dollar and it flew away just like that. "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT WILL BECOME OF MY MULA!" funeral music played as Pikachu sat down and cried but after while rose its head up and said, "At least I have my Ketchup right? RIGHT?"

BACK AT THE LAB…

"Hey Kira!"

"Go away!"

"Hey Kira!"

"Shove off!"

"Hey Kira!"

"GO AWAY!" and I hit Dawn's little blue head and did a Misty pose, "The girls still got it!" Professor Elm chuckled as I did another Misty pose…HEY HOLD ON A MINUTE! WHAT'S DAWN DOING IN JOHTO! I'M THE LEADING LADY HERE!

"I just wanna be your friend!" and with that the aliens from Zirgun Nine teleported her back to their mothership as we all stood there amazed. "So umm, what's the Tv reception around here like?" I said trying to break the awkward silence, Professor Elm finally tuned back into the world around him and replied, "So you're here for a Pokemon right?" well done Elm, of course I came here to see you make nachos didn't I? And this guy calls himself a professor!

MEANWHILE...

What did you think about me? Next chapter we have Danny at Papa Lugi's! Get ready for more laughs along the way! R&R PLEASE! With Cyndaquil's on top!