Title: Picnic Blues
Author: Evil_Little_Dog
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Sorry, no, I don't own this. Wish I did.
Summary: Daphne wants a picnic, much to Niles' chagrin.
Seattle was having one of its rare sunny days, and Daphne insisted on taking advantage of it. "A picnic! Just you, and me, it'll be lovely."
Niles wasn't so sure. After all, picnics happened outside, in the grass. Grass generally harbored all sorts of nasty little things – dog poop, for example. Despite Martin's insistence at cleaning up after Eddie, a lot of other people didn't. Or ants. "I'm allergic to ants," he said.
Daphne cocked an eyebrow at him. "Then don't eat any."
He opened his mouth to reply, realized what she said, and closed his mouth again, perplexed. "No, Daphne, the sting."
"Wasps sting, and bees," Martin said from his chair.
"You're not helping," Niles sing-songed.
"Ants don't sting," Martin sing-songed back. "They bite." He twisted in his chair. "Did you ever see a fire ant nest, Daphne? Nasty things. Good thing they only like hot places. But my buddy, Max, he stepped in one when he was down in Florida on vacation. Leg swelled up like a balloon." He had to do the hand gesture, and puffed out his cheeks for good measure.
"How terrible!" Daphne said. "But you say they aren't here in Seattle?"
"No, no, not fire ants," Martin said, shaking his head. He smirked at Niles, who mouthed the word, 'No!' at him. "In fact, Hester and I used to have picnics all the time. There're all sorts of beautiful parks here in Seattle." The evil grin widened. "We never had any problem with ants at all!"
Gritting out, "Thanks, Dad," between his teeth, Niles turned to Daphne. "I guess we can go on a picnic, dear."
She clapped her hands together, beaming. "I'll go pack us a lunch!"
"Martin," Niles said, trying not to whine, "why'd you do that?"
"Son, you'll thank me once you see that halter-top Daphne bought to wear on a day like today." Martin grinned. "Va-va-va-voom! Gives a whole new meaning to the word 'sunkissed'."
"I see," Niles said, his eyes widening.
"No, but you will." Martin chuckled.
When Daphne came out of the kitchen, a picnic basket hanging from the crook of her elbow, a smile on her face, Niles knew Martin was right. Not that he'd tell him until they returned safely from this venture, because Niles also knew picnics and ants were almost a foregone conclusion. But maybe Daphne could nurse him back to health. "I'll get the blanket!" he said, running off.
"So, you talked him into it," Daphne told Martin, giving him a cross between a smile and a sour look.
"Yup. You owe me twenty bucks." He laced his fingers across his stomach.
"You're a sly old man."
"Hey, you're getting your picnic, aren't you?" Martin's smile was far too sly.
"Hmph. I'll give you your twenty later. Now I just have to prepare myself for that lily white skin your son has." She patted Martin's shoulder. "Oh, there you are!"
Niles had a stripe of white stuff on his nose and a blanket slung over his arm. "Ready, Daphne?" he asked.
"Ready, Niles." She took his free arm. "Goodbye, Mr. Crane."
"Bye, Dad," Niles said, closing the door behind him.
Eddie leaped into Martin's lap as he pushed deeper into the recliner. "Better you dealing with that lily white skin than us, huh, boy?" he asked. Eddie barked his agreement, and Martin laughed, rubbing his dog's ears. "Good boy."
~ end ~