Care to Explain? 2
Continuation of: Care to Explain?
Set between Quantum of Solace and Skyfall. M comes home to find a passed out Bond again.
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The rain had not stopped in four days and the mood around the city was falling as fast as the water. M's mood was also affected by the drudgery of the week.
Bond had blown up a safe house on his last mission and the woman he was to protect accidentally got killed.
The only saving grace in the entire fiasco is that Bond managed to steal a laptop that has sensitive information from the CIA. Bond took it from the criminals that were responsible for an agent that disappeared last month.
This should appease the PM and eventually make the CIA very happy. Q will have the computer and mirror the hard drive before they let the American know they have it. This way M can see what their counterparts are or were up too.
It isn't that M distrusts their allies, but it has always been her prerogative to know as much as possible to out-distance herself from opponents.
Bond is to report within two days, however she expects him by tomorrow evening to end up sitting on her sofa sipping her best Scotch with a smug expression on his face. Ever since Nigel died he had done this.
The drive home had her reminiscing about as Nigel had called it the episode with Bond. James broke in and scared the daylights out of him in a quest for a booty call from her. Bond was very drunk and drugged when he professed his love for her.
A small tear escaped her eye… in both mirth and sadness. The incident was highly entertaining once she talked Nigel out of his anger and jealousy…not to mention stimulating.
Nigel had been very passionate that night and spurred on by another man's interest in her. Bond was embarrassed and never intruded on her home again…until after Nigel died.
M finds it impossible to believe that Bond finds her attractive considering the age gap. It is likely more the result of a deep psychological need for a mother figure.
That Vesper seemed to ruin him…the loss was too much for him. M has even gone to medical and requested they keep a good eye on his liver and alcohol intake.
During missions she has suggested he only ingest two drinks an evening. Having a soda with lime will look to the casual observer like a mixed drink…she has encouraged him to act drunk on occasions while directly overseeing this last mission.
In speaking with Tanner there seems to be a theme developing…Bond drinks more when M is listening to him than with Tanner or anyone else. M plans on talking to him about this when he next shows up at her flat.
Christ…It is so unprofessional of her to have allowed this intrusion to continue, but she forbade him and he still does it. M has no one to blame but herself.
Bond gives her some sort of comfort…a normalcy…there is no one in her life outside work but him and her two children. The children rarely come to London but they do call at least once a week and email her often.
The only other family nearby is her brother-in-law and he never liked her…well that is not exactly accurate…his wife never liked her so by proxy he was not allowed to like her. Marshall did like her and that was the problem.
M smiled to herself remembering the distant past when they were young and Nigel and Marshall staggered into their flat one night. Marshall hugged her and told her that she was the best looking woman he had ever seen and that Nigel was the luckiest man in London.
M had just laughed it off because Nigel was getting very angry and Marshall was having a difficult time keeping his drunken paws off his wife. Nigel pushed his brother into the spare room and sat on him until he passed out.
Marshall Mansfield has called her every week since Nigel's death. His wife passed away the year before Nigel. M has ignored the calls or sent short emails expelling why she is too busy to see him. Unfortunately, her techniques have not worked and she is to meet him tomorrow evening for dinner.
Marshall is very similar to Nigel in appearance but attitude is how they differed. M cannot stand a man with no backbone. His wife was a complete stuck up bitch that luckily disliked M so much that they did not have to endure their presence socially very often.
M's car pulled up to her door and she got out. The driver escorted her to the door and she said her goodbyes. The second she entered the flat she knew he was there. The smell of his cologne hit her…well that and the audible snoring.
Depositing her bag and coat, M crossed to the bar and took a passing glance at Bond passed out on her sofa…just like that night…the night Nigel though he was her lover.
M get a drink and sits in the arm-chair across from his sleeping form. She sighs and just looks at him. Christ he is the most incredibly sexy man she has ever seen…most women and some men at work practically swoon when he is in office.
Moneypenny seems amusingly immune to his charms…just as M is. Bond refers to Moneypenny as a tease. M has no idea what he refers to her as…although he and Tanner had tossed about evil queen of numbers at their first meeting.
Actually she liked the nickname…Nigel had loved it when she told him. Olivia had been his evil queen for 45 years and he had always been her prince charming.
Still what to threaten him with upon waking? Should she stomp about loudly and have him put in a taxi tonight or let him sleep it off?
The room was still shrouded in partial darkness but there was a spot on the floor near where Bond's hand hung over the edge.
M frowned, got up to take a closer look. Damn it! He is bleeding all over her rug! M loves that rug!
"Bond…what the hell!"
James stirred in his sleep and slowly opens one eye. He manages to croak out one word. "M…"
"Who the hell else would it be?"
"Where am I?"
"Bond we have to have a little discussion about how much you drink if you have no idea where you are and your blood in pooling on my favourite rug. Now get up and I will look at your injury in proper lighting…in the kitchen…up with you now."
M helped pull Bond up off the sofa and held his arm while going to the kitchen. She guided him into a chair and rolled up the sleeves to her cream coloured blouse as she opened her lower cupboard to get the first aid kit.
Bond moaned in pain and she turned to see him with his eyes closed and licking his dry lips. M got him a tall glass of water to drink and placed it beside him as she opened the kit.
Bond watched M as she bent over to look in the cupboard. Christ her ass was divine and her skirt rode up her legs enough to see the top of her stockings. Bond was still tipsy and involuntarily groaned and shut his eyes to will his body not to respond to her back side.
M gave him some water and helped him out of his jacket. M grasped his hands and turned them over in her own. She tried to roll up the sleeves but needed to see higher up than they would allow access.
M took his tie in her tiny hands and worked at the knot and slipped it over his head.
Bond kept opening his eyes enough to sneak a peak at her breasts…they were so close to his face as he sat in front of her. The smell of her perfume was giving him an erection. The cream blouse was low-cut and he could easily make out the lace of her ivory bra beneath.
M thought Bond must be in a lot of pain…he kept groaning and closing his eyes as if in agony.
"Bond do you need me to get you something?"
"Christ…yes I need you!"
Shit did he just say that out loud? "Damn it!"
"Bond?"
"M?"
M looked at him confused. She could smell the alcohol on his breath and heard what he said even if he sounded like he's confused after saying it.
"I need you to take your shirt off…do you need my help?"
"Yes I need you….your help…christ this isn't working."
"What isn't working?"
"My head…my mouth…I…I need you so bad M…for so long now…"
M's breath caught in her throat. She remembered that night last year with Nigel. She thought it prudent to ignore it…he's drunk and injured…just help him get cleaned up and have him in a cab home.
M began opening the buttons on his dress shirt and eased it off his shoulders gently. M involuntarily sucked in a breath as she took in the bruises and cuts on his torso. There is a large bleeding cut above the elbow on his left arm.
M takes a cool wet cloth and starts to bathe him. Touching him so gently that he barely feels it. Bond's eyes riveted on her face to see if she will acknowledge what he said to her.
M remains as silently defiant as ever.
M does not want to acknowledge anything and will meticulously perform the task of fixing him regardless of the bloodshot eyes trying to bore into hers. Bond leans back against the chair and closes his eyes while she works.
Bond's breathing is shallow and he is hard as a rock even through the pain and booze that he has consumed. Every feeling he has, collides in the focal point of her touch. The numbness of the alcohol is wearing off and her nails sometimes graze him.
Bond wants to feel pain from her nails…needs to…racked across his back while she writhes under him…
M finishes cleaning and bandaging his arm and body…what a body. Bond is now staring at her intently. M is suddenly very conscious that she is standing between his open legs…very close to him.
M drops the towel on the table and turns to get some pain killers but Bond grabs her wrists and clamps his legs together pinning her in place before him.
"Bond! What are you doing…I need to get you something for the pain."
"You did not say anything? I…I told you that I need you."
M frowns. "I know and now I fixed you up."
"NO! You cannot fix me with a towel and bandages…you need to fix me in here."
Bond places her right hand on his bare chest over his heart.
"Bond…I…don't be absurd…I am too…"
"You're too good for me."
"What!…No…old. Not to mention your bloody boss."
"Fuck age! I want every line and wrinkle of you."
"Bond…stop this…let me go."
"NEVER!"
"BOND!"
James cupped the back of her head and kissed her…hard. He remembers somewhere in the recesses of his brain this feeling…her taste. He dreamt about it all that night so much so that he could have sworn that they slept together.
In reality it was the sound of her fucking her husband, he could hear through the walls in his drug addled mind.
The sound of her voice crying out…he has heard it in his head in sleep and wakefulness ever since. Christ no wonder he drinks more when her voice is in his ear wig during a mission. He has brutalized himself in the shower daily with it echoing in his mind.
The vision in his mind's eye of M smiling at him from the bottom of the stairs the next morning dressed in a navy power suit dance before his eyes as he seduces a mark on a mission. Along with the image of Nigel gently touching her shoulder as he pushes in her chair that morning as he empties bullets into some mark that she needs him to silence.
M pushes him away but he pulls her back towards him forcing her to stay locked between his legs as they both pant to reclaim the air they had stolen from each other.
"Bond let me go."
Bond stands and pulls her into a hug. He knows that she will fight him if he forces another kiss on her. Bond does not want to force her but his is so strung out…taunt and on edge.
M is suddenly in an embrace. She doesn't know what to do. M feels Bond's erection press up against her stomach. M is beginning to fear for his stability and how far he is willing to force this.
M's stomach rolls with anxiety that he will not stop…that he will…no she has to have control…he is a killer but one she directs. There is no way she is going to lie on her back for one of her agents unless she is damn sure she wants too.
Bond is a flawed, killer sex-machine of her own making, one that she foists on others who need to pay for their crimes.
M will not cross this line…maybe not ever but definitely not when he is drunk…drugged and injured in body, mind and soul.
M disengages from his grasp. "Bond you have to go home now. I will see you for debrief tomorrow and I want a full psych evaluation and medical to look at your bruises and cuts. This is an order. I will call you a cab."
Bond's moves towards her with rage in his eyes. "You don't believe me! You think I'm playing..after all this time…after that night with your husband here…I bloody told him that I loved you!"
"Stop this!"
"NO!"
"I order you to keep your distance Bond or I will fire you!"
Bond could suddenly see the fear in her eyes…christ she thinks he's going to rape her."
Bond bows his head in shame. "M…I'm sorry…I never…never would hurt you…don't look at me like that…please."
M puts her finger under his chin and raises his eyes off the floor to her own and sighs.
"Dear boy…I know you would not but you need some help. Your drinking has become an issue and you need to talk to the doctors about it."
"I drink because I want you so badly it hurts."
"You cannot have me Bond. I am your boss and it crosses a line."
"What line? There is no bloody rule…I looked…I had Tanner look…I had Q look…Christ I had Moneypenny look and she thought it was because of my flirting with her. It is only a line in your mind. A line you created between your dead husband and me. Fuck it! I want to jump over that line and ravage you until you cannot walk for a week."
M listens to him and can scarcely believe it. She really did not ever expect to feel anything for another man since Nigel. She needs to think on this revelation and give him time to recant.
It is inconceivable to her that as Nigel had said, this Adonis is in love with her. Whatever had been lovely about her has faded into oblivion along with Friday night dancing and going steady.
Bond watches M try to process everything and continues his plea.
"Forget a week I want to take you to an abandoned island with enough food and water for a month and have sex with you constantly without the distractions of work and the world going to hell around us."
M gives him a wane smile as she pictures it. Bond puts his hands gently on her hips and pulls her flush against him. He cautiously bends slowly to kiss her very gently on the lips.
Bond does not want to frighten her away so he keeps it chaste and pulls away to gauge her reaction. M still looks very unsure but less frightened. M places both hands on his naked chest…careful not to hurt him.
Bond grabs both of her hands and lifts them alternately to his lips as he tuns her wrists to kiss her palms and suck on her pulse points.
M sucks in her breath at the action. Bond's eyes bore into hers and she feels her resolve weakening. Damn it! Too bloody soon…she will not be seduced like one of his mark's bimbos!
Bond leans back in to kiss her but M turns away. "No, Bond. It is time for you to leave."
Bond frowns and releases her. He takes his shirt and puts it on gingerly, stuffs his tie in his jacket pocket as he takes his phone out and dials a cab.
Bond has the door handle in his hand and he turns to her and says a very intense almost cruel way.
"I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that this is real. I will see every doctor in this damn city if it will make you believe me. I…kill for you…I fuck for you…I would die for you…all I'm asking in return is for you to believe that I love you more than anything in this world."
With that Bond slams the door. M releases the breath she did not realize she was holding. She sinks into the cushions of the sofa and stares out the window into the night sky.
That was not the evening M expected…none of this was ever expected.
"Shit! What in the hell am I going to do now?"