Hey all, it's MR.
After the uproar over at the GA on the Shipping Wars thread, I decided to take a closer look at Cloud and Tifa's relationship, purely based on canon. The result was this.
I thank Hope for beta-ing, Woodster, our darling Administrator, for our conversation on this topic, and Lunatic Belle for the final overview.
Without further ado, please enjoy.
Title: Heroes?
By: Moiranne Rose
Summary: Cloud and Tifa would always be heroes in the hearts of the people. CloTi.
Warnings: Angst, Second-Person POV
Cloud and Tifa would always be heroes in the hearts of the people.
After the Second Defeat and the Deepground Incident, as you had come to call it, AVALANCHE disbanded. Again.
All at once, it was like nothing ever happened, and things were back to normal. And things were.
Vincent returned to ShinRa Mansion, Cid flew Yuffie back to Wutai and returned to Shera soon after, Barret took Marlene and Red went back to Cosmo Canyon. It was finally the peace and quiet that you always talked about, and the peace and quiet that was needed to deal with the things that needed to be dealt with.
A relief, really.
At last, you were ready to tell Cloud Strife that you forgave him long ago and that you loved him and you were sure, oh yes you were, that he loved you too.
You thought your tragic love story was over, that in the aftermath of explosions and rubble, your love could rise from the ashes of betrayal and infidelity and your family portrait would be complete.
When you got home, pushed open the door. Cloud. You knew you wouldn't need to strain your ears to hear the Hey Tifa that would follow. He would come to you, sweep you up, kiss you --
The thoughts swirl and your cheeks colour.
As you're thinking this, you're slowly walking into the new place you call home, and you feel happy, content and so full of love, so you call his name again.
Cloud.
He doesn't respond. Your lips quirk up. You know what he's doing. He's hiding from you, waiting to pounce on you and surprise you in the hearth of your new home. Both of yours. Our Home. You can't help but whisper it under your breath. That sounds nice.
You walk into the living room, the small, cosy alcove with a burned-down fire. You'll need to light it later. You look around. No Cloud. You walk and look into the kitchen instead. No Cloud.
Where could he be?
Then you smile a secret smile behind your long hair. Could he...Would he...? He can't have gone off, he has no place to go to. So he's...he's...
Your smile's so big, it's bursting from your face. He would do that, wouldn't he? Repay all your nights of crying into your pillow and lying cold and alone on a bed meant for two. It's all suddenly worth it.
You creep up the steps, stealthily, so he won't know that you know. And inside, you can't describe it, but there's this huge balloon of feelings that's inflating and choking you up, the thought that he's there, waiting...waiting...
(And of course you know he's there, because he said it. He said it the first time you saw this place, that this, this, was home. And that he'd never run far from here.)
You stand outside of the door into your bedroom (with the new cream-coloured curtains you bought and the yellow sheets on the bed that Cloud and you picked), waiting for a moment, two. You're waiting for him to come out and take you into his strong arms and kiss you and kiss you and kiss you. You can almost hear his soft voice saying I love you I love you breathlessly, like he's just run a marathon.
You can just feel him cling to you like you clung to him all these yearsand that feeling that bubbles up that says that it's all good now.
Cloud?
You can't take it anymore. You push open the door.
The bed's made and there's nothing, not even a letter there for you to say goodbye.
First, you feel this emptiness, like you've put your heart to sleep.
And the world stops. Right there.
It can't be.
It can't be.
It can't be.
The more you say it, the more hopeless it is. Every single cut you've received from grasping the shards of your hopes, all the pain wells up and spills out.
Everything you've been feeling, all that happiness, is immediately replaced by this bitter taste in your mouth and this sinking, sinking in your heart. At first, you're still numb with shock. Then the agony, the betrayal, hits you smack in the face.
Cloud!
You don't care that you said it loud enough for the neighbours to hear. You're so angry, and the fact that you know you're justified just makes it worse. The screaming inside of you, how could you, how could you Cloud?, and you fall on the bed, hitting it with your fists, creasing the yellow sheets, for all my wasted time, for my wasted life, for my stupidity.
Then you're suddenly so tired and you lie there, anger melting into this miserable feeling that sets over you and, like an insistent fog, won't let up.
The wind blows the pale curtains away from the window, so you can see out to the mountains in the distance. Cloud said he liked it this way. This way we'll remember Aerith. You can see the faint line of tarp that weaves its way through the Canyon. Such a pretty sight. You can almost see Fenrir's headlights lighting up his way away from you.
He said he'd never go. He said it wouldn't be the case. You grab the picture of the two of you and Denzel and Marlene, all smiling mockingly at you, and toss it with all your might. The glass shatters and you feel a kind of savage joy.
Cloud, you figured, never kept his promises.
You drive further and further away.
You knew you would never have pulled off the old-fashioned running-away. You couldn't write a letter, a cold farewell. You couldn't tell her why you were running away, because you didn't know it yourself either.
Are you afraid? Too proud? You know she can see you from your bedroom window. You know she will see if you come back. You know she will take you into her arms and accept your I'm so sorry, I didn't know and cry with happiness and forget that you ever went.
You suddenly want to make a U-turn and drive the long way home, but you can't bring yourself to turn the bike tell yourself that if you were back in the house with her, it would be because of the kidand nothing more. You want to think that your reason for leaving was to save her heartbreak and disappointment. You want to think that your leaving will save her from you.
You'll never love her that way.
Or maybe you'll just never admit it.
You accelerate, before you can have any second thoughts about turning back.
Cloud and Tifa would always be heroes in the hearts of the people.
But no one saw the coward and the fool who continued to believe in him.
A/N: I rather like this one, actually. What do you think?
MR