Hey, I just had to write one more one-shot for tonight. This takes after Edward leaves in New Moon and summarizes what Bella is feeling and thinking during those long four months of numbness. The song is 'Circles' by Natalie Walker.
Bella's POV:
It had been two weeks since HE had left, claiming he didn't want me anymore. I lay in my soft bed, trying to rid the feeling of numbness crawling through my body. Tossing and turning, I sighed heavily and struggled to fight the tears coming to my eyes.
This chapter is over
He's not coming home
Her heart in her throat
As she falls to the floor
Ever since that night he had left me in the woods, I had avoided doing any activities that reminded me of him and his family. I had even stopped eating for a few days until Charlie pushed me so hard that I finally choked something down. I never answered the phone when it rang, even if I was the only one home. My e-mails were being ignored on my computer, except when it was my mom checking on me.
She shuns every memory
Every letter and call
Just to get through each second
She is slowly shutting off
As I began drifting into a dreamless sleep, I felt comforted to sink into my protective shell of isolation. Nobody could bother me here or make me act normal. I didn't have to answer any questions or pretend to be positive when deep inside, I was miserable.
Where is her sweet revenge?
Who will she blame?
Where is her freedom now?
How can she reclaim it?
I dreamt that I was standing in front of a large mirror, dressed in a long red dress. Suddenly, from behind me, I saw a dark figure strolling in my direction. It was a young man, dressed in a black cape, with messy, bronze-colored hair and black, ravenous eyes.
"Hello there." He whispered to me seductively. The man was right behind me now, and I felt an icy shiver run down my spine. The man (I didn't want to think his name) wrapped his arm around my collarbone area and began stroking my hair. I just closed my eyes, reveling in this rare moment with him, even if only for a short while.
He wipes the sweat from her face
As she moans in pain
A tiny and helpless life
Comes as if to say
"What are you doing here?" I rasped, for my voice felt weak as he touched me.
"I'm here to finally have you, my dear Bella." Before I saw it coming, he lowered his head to my neck and sunk his razor sharp teeth into my flesh. I struggled to build up a scream, but I couldn't find my voice.
My eyes flew open as I looked around my darkened bedroom. I absentmindedly turned to the other side of my bed and there was nobody there. This was the true nightmare, one of blackness, lies, and misery.
Here is your sweetest gift
Take this moment, it is safe
Its true, pure and beautiful
In return for all of your pain
How could I go on living like this? I'm going to have to find an intervention soon, before the circles around my life cease to spin. I would have to find a way for him to remember my affections for him, before my whole life goes out of control, and I lose my already damaged mind.
Eyes wide and heart warm
She sees him in her face
If you watch the way the world gives back
In circles you will trace
Well, I did my best with the New Moon angst. No offense to Team Jacob, but I struggled reading the scenes with him and Bella. Anyway, enjoy reading.